A witness in Richmond, London...

>A witness in Richmond, London, told yesterday how screen hardman Tom Hardy chased a thief through gardens and across a building site — before proudly announcing: “I caught the ****.”

>The Legend, Batman and Taboo star vaulted walls as he sprinted after the crook — then grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and patted him down for concealed weapons.

>Arun Pullen, 22, said: “It was mental – like he’d switched to superhero mode in an action movie. Two boys on the nicked moped had jumped a red light and smashed into a car.

>“Tom must have been walking down the road. He went off like a shot in pursuit and looked furious. If the kid had been dumb enough to resist I reckon Tom would have given him a good hiding.”

thesun.co.uk/news/3405353/tom-hardy-arrests-moped-thief-after-dramatic-hollywood-style-chase-through-streets-and-witnesses-say-he-went-into-superhero-mode/

>like he’d switched to superhero mode in an action movie

>get ran down and beaten up by a roid-head manlet

i would kill myself

Well with any luck he'll split your head open on the curb with his boot sparing you the trouble.

His lips bother me

He must of felt in charge

>must of
>of

He did it. HE ONLY WENT AND DID IT. THE ABSOLUTE MAD MAN.

>i'm not gay haha i was only patting him down to check for concealed weapons

why does he dress so weirdly?

Crashing this moped

it's just a backpack

>old hat
>two bracelets and a watch
>lanyard with a bunch of keys
>army backpack
>sweat pants
>shirt with a blob on it
>bottle full of cum and an e cig

How do you dress to fight crime?

with a... mask.

>they survived the crash

CIA still alive confirmed as canon?

Absolute madmax.

>be driving stolen moped down street
>holy shit is that Tom Hardy walking down the street?
>crash because I'm not paying attention
>stagger away, bleeding profusely
>suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder
>"mmm I have a use for you, mhmm nootka"
What do?

He's a big guy

>not drinking the semen of a virile bull

Must have been a company man trying to pilfer his pockets for important documents in order to frame him.

>>"mmm I have a use for you, mhmm nootka"
underrated

MHMMMM CAREFUL NOW

>Tom Hardy chases me down
>grabs my neck and pins me down
>he reaches for my id and says: "let's see who you are."
>"it doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan."
>Tom looks at me with a shocked expression as he realizes that the tides have turned and I'm in charge now
>I gently whisper into his ear: "I have use for you" as I take his pants off
>he squeals as I enter his boipussy and begin pounding him

I caught the Paki? Nigger?
What was the ****?

cunt?

don't know about brexit laws but if this was in the US the kid would sue Hardy for millions for breaking his leg.

>be driving stolen moped down street
>holy shit is that Tom Hardy walking down the street?
>crash because I'm not paying attention
>stagger away, bleeding profusely
>suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder
>"you see, they all got my name wrong. it's acutally Tom hard D"
What do?

...

WHATS IN THE BOTTLE

You should kill yourself, anyway

>475$ for a belt

These prices are ridiculous, Patrick Bateman-tier

>$1467
The CIA spends way too much on making it's agents look terrible, that's about the price for one of Bonds cheaper tuxes.

i have a use for your penis

Cunt.

Same over here, sadly. Where there is a blame, there is a claim.

>vaping
you can already see his wrist start limping

his sexy dsl?

thankfully

Was getting caught part of his plan?

>be a thief in Britain
>don't have a knife to stab-a-bitch with

This whole thing smells fake and gay and set-up.

You have to turn in your knife collection to the police before attempting robbery in the UK.

The UK hasn't quite reached US levels of "SUE EVERYBODY", but it's getting there.

Why? In the USA you'd legally be able to stab Hardy to death due to Stand Your Ground laws. Even if you're armed in UK, there is no law to be able to defend yourself like that UNLESS they have invaded your home.

Dude this is London and he's rich, the little chav's mum is probably already earmarking the winnings for a trip to Lanzarotti.

what the fuck
he just keeps getting bigger and bigger

>475 for a fucking belt
>240 for a fucking polo shirt
>445 for a pair of fucking boots
>130 for a pair of fucking cargo pants

for you

He looks DYEL as fuck. 2 years of lifting will easily get you there even without roids (which he probably takes).

...

>belt is the most expensive item
Poorly memed. With that belt, everything else should be much more expensive.

Why would he take roids unless he needs to get crazy buff for a role?

>I've seen Tom Hardy make publicists cry
kek, based Tommy

Kek. He got so butt blasted by the Big Guy that he complained for a whole day. Based Tom.

based