Seinfeld in 2017

>George starts using the women's bathroom at work because it's much nicer. His coworkers praise him for his bravery and he unwittingly becomes a hero in the transgender movement.

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>The episode ends with a close-up of Jerry Seinfeld telling Americans to be safe for the next four years and to Stand United™ against Drumpf.

That's pretty good actually

Kramer says "nigger" on Sup Forums all day and gets carpal tunnel syndrome and Newman has to open his pringles

>Jerry gets paranoid when his new girlfriend's phone autoconnects to Newman's WifFi.

That's just a rehash of the episode where he pretends to be a cripple so he can have his own bathroom

hey i like that

...

>Elaine joins the Trump protest march. George joins in hopes of meeting a woman. Jerry meets his new girlfriend at the protest. Elaine falls for a Trump supporter. A gust of wind blows George's hair into the Trump combover

>George dies of ass cancer, and Kramer ass rapes his corpse because that's what George would have wanted. His coworkers praise him for his bravery and he unwittingly becomes a hero in the necrogender movement.

>Newman is laid off from the US Postal Service because it is not as relevant and needs cutbacks
>he gets a job at the NSA and uses it to go expose Jerry's search history

>Jerry breaks up with a girl for using (: instead of :) Elaine breaks up with a guy for using LOL. George refuses to use emojis. Kramer sends a selfie of himself smiling or frowning instead of using emojis.

Kramer has a court hearing after shooting an unarmed black teen

>implying that not everything nowadays is a remake

>George comes back from a year long hiatus to everyone's surprise, where he hosts a science show and tells everyone gender is a social construct.

>Jerry is confused when his new girlfriend hates the jews but doesn't want to be called a nazi

>Kramer starts doing Uber and Lyft, but has to borrow Jerry's car to do it. George is late to a job interview because his Uber pool keeps picking up new riders and taking him out of the way. Elaine starts using Tinder as a way of getting men to drive her around because she doesn't want to pay for ride sharing. Jerry and Newman's desire to return to the days of metro and bus bring them closer until Newman tries to start a hashtag.

Why are Sup Forumscucks so unfunny?

Jerry's new girlfriend (guest star Samantha Bee) makes him go the Women's March on Washington, but he gets into a ruckus when he refuses to wear a pussy hat.

>Elaine starts dating a female to male transsexual and tries to convince everyone that she's bisexual. In the end she finds out it's an actual cisgender man.
Jerry and George have to fight execs who want to reboot their short lived in-universe Seinfeld show as a gender swapped version full of vagina jokes.

Would they still even live in the same places and be friends?
Was the Curb Seinfeld reunion episode or the Superbowl commercial canon?
Did they ever get out of jail?

>jerry tries to come to terms with the fact things posted to the internet will be funnier and more creative than he can ever be
>george gets billions of views and millions of subscriptions to his "daily life" series

Curb Reunion and Coffee in Cars episode are both canon

Can anyone but Jerry Seinfeld afford to live in Manhattan in 2017?

The Cheat Day.
>Jerry dates a woman who says it's her cheat day when they go out, no matter the day.
>George takes fake workout pictures of himself in the apartment gym and becomes an Instagram celebrity with middle aged dadbod men everywhere.
>Elaine becomes a "mommy blogger" without having kids of her own, becomes popular, and must avoid actual moms.
>Kramer gets into crossfit for the outfits.

>Jerry accidentally gets a girl pregnant and wants her to get an abortion. She refuses so the whole gang plans some plot to get her to sleep and perform an abortion on her. Hilarity ensues.
>Elaine has to take care of her neighbour's cat, and starts dating Cesar Millan (guest star in this episode).

Elaine could marry a rich dude and Kramer/George would still NEET it up somehow.

I'd unironically watch this

Aprroved for one million dollars each.

Approved for an online special promo episode

>Jerry uses Facebook, but becomes increasingly annoyed by both his girlfriend and Elaine's attempts to suck him into the virtual world, eventually breaking up with the former but staying on Facebook to meet women. George becomes paranoid once he finds out that employers can see a person's browser history. Elaine is obsessed with getting more and more friends, eventually seeing someone on the street who declined her request, leading her to chase him numerous times until she's able to confront him. Meanwhile, Kramer joins an online rotary club.

>facebook

What is this, 2008?

>Kramer sends a selfie of himself smiling or frowning instead of using emojis.

>show Cesar crying and tying a noose in Elaine's apartment
>(other scene about Jerry and George)
>show Elaine opening her apartment door
>"Cesar, I'm back!"
>hesitation
>"Uh, Cesar?"
>end credits and music play

>George accidentally tweets that he's "going homo" instead of "going home". He decides to go along with it when he garners a cult following
>Elaine's phone autocorrects "You're such a nagger" to "You're such a nigger" in a text to her black boyfriend. Jerry starts to question why "nigger" is even in her autocorrect
>Kramer refuses to use autocorrect and starts a twitter war with young millennials
>Newman loses it over people misspelling addresses and names on mail

>accidentally becomes an internet reaction image meme

fucking kek holy shit

Kramer complains about dangerous black ice on the streets. Bystanders overhear him but think he's saying "black guys."

Jery get ipad

>Jerry starts to question why "nigger" is even in her autocorrect
Focus the entire episode on this and you have tv gold. Goddamn Sup Forums you're pretty good.

How would it be accidental? Millions pushing the wrong button?

Because he didn't intend for it.

So many great ideas and not one single good sitcom these days ;_; I really want Seinfeld to come back

At least there's another season of Curb coming out.

I really wish Larry David and Seinfeld would still make stuff together even if it wasn't Seinfeld-related.

JERY

Oh yes, I'm excited about the new Curb episodes

Seinfeld has been right there the whole time, can't you see it?

>Kramer and Newman start stealing phones from the recycled phone bins so they can download Swagbuck-esque ads and earn giftcards
>George finally gets a smartphone and goes into debt due to microtransactions ("What, that was real money?")
>Jerry gets pissed off about all of the Facebook notifications and decides to go off the grid. He's reduced to doing standup on street corners because he doesn't have a social media presence
>Elaine tries to start a social media platform, but her only users are socially awkward Indian men and drug dealers

What do you mean the Curb episode being canon? Isn't Seinfeld playing his real self in that?

I mean the Seinfeld episode that they made in the Curb episode.
Curb Jerry =/= Seinfeld Jerry.

J: Twitter
G: Tinder
J: Twitter
G: Tinder
J: Twitter
G: Tinder

> K breaks in the door
> Yells Grindr

J & G: Grindr!?!?

> K: oh you have NO idea!!

>George gets a 1 star rating from his Uber driver
>can no longer get an Uber
>Kramer becomes an Uber driver to help George increase his rating
>George attemps to sit in the front seat of Kramer's car and an argument ensues about the driver/passenger relationship
>Kramer rates George 1 star.

Ah... this is confusing though. The Curb episode shows you that the Seinfeld show is fictional. But you mean if that makes it canon within the Seinfeld universe.

>another season of Curb
But it's literally just a Jew complaining about being a Jew/ being surrounded by Jews. I got through 1 season of that and that's literally all it is. It's just Jews this and Jews that, no jokes other than "isn't he a total Jew" jokes.

>Kramer gets lost in an office building, after flipping out an indian american helps him out.
>outside kramer makes an insensitive remark about how the indian is very good about finding the way.
>indian calls kramer a nazi, nearby antifa hears it and they beat him up after covering their faces.
>doctor tells him they had to remove one of his testicles
>"what am i gonna do"
>"well we could make you into a woman"
>"oh... giddy up"

I'd watch that.

>kramer attends a UFC event at the garden
>befriends joe rogan
>brings joe home to meet jerry
>joe preaches to jerry about health and drugs
>jerry dismisses it
>george is intimidated
>elaine fucks joe
>they break up cause of all the talk about health drugs and fighting

Elaine strides in the apartment

Elaine: He swiped left.
Jerry: He swiped left?
Elaine: He. Swiped. Left.

*pushes Jerry*

>they dont break up because joe keeps getting high five times a day

Nah

>Newman reveals that he is banned from purchasing Girl Scout cookies anymore
>George offers to buy cookies for Newman for a small fee
>George buys $500 worth of cookies from his coworker
>Later that day, the coworker quits the job after getting in a fight with the boss
>George doesn't know if he'll ever get the cookies
>Later gets arrested when he attempts to steal the cookies he's owed from a Girl Scout's wagon

Exact scenario happened to me at work a few years ago. Male washroom was a dump female washroom was luxe. Me and a couple guys started using female room since there were only 2 ladies in a company of 15. CEO calls me into office and tells me I am no longer allowed to use womanz facilities. If it would have been this day and age I would have barrelled over him.

>George, Kramer and Jerry meet and start dating gender swapped versions of themselves.

>Jerry falls into a depression after the joke he sends to Laffy Taffy is rejected

didn't that already happen with jerry?

I love this because it's not present day related and neither was the original Seinfeld

It did? I haven't watched Seinfeld in ages. I remember an episode where Elaine met another Jerry, George and Kramer

>Elaine comments "didn't this happen to you already?"

youtube.com/watch?v=nc_f-0DCGI0

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>George tries to fake his death after getting contacted by an ex he unknowingly got pregnant demanding child support from him

> Jerry finds a trash bag in the apartment hallway. It's filled with America Online CDs. He texts George in his new Nokia fliphone to come over and see what they are. After installing an extra 256mb of ram in the brand new Gateway, they connect to aol. The "You Got Mail!" voice bellows incessantly. Kramer hears it from across the hall and leaves Napster running unknowingly. Kramer decides to follow Neuman around announcing to New Yorkers that "You got Mail", the real you got mail guy hears and chases Kramer, throwing all discs. When Kramer outruns him and gets home. Lars Ulrich is waiting for him with a keyboard. Howl's eminate from the hallway as Kramer is beaten off screen. Just as George and Jerry race to see the action, Elaine busts in crying. "Guy's a plane just hit the world trade center, how are we going to get a cab for lunch NOW!?"

>"Guy's a plane just hit the world trade center, how are we going to get a cab for lunch NOW!?"

>Jerry refuses to write haha or LOL in any of his texts, which causes problems with his new girlfriend
>"Laughs are my life! I can't give an insincere laugh out loud! I'm not even laughing out loud!"

t. some dumbass cuck who's never been in a woman's bathroom

>While Elaine is at the bank, it gets robbed. She flirts with the robber but he takes her purse anyway. He then tracks her down to return it and they start dating.
>Kramer starts driving Uber, but takes his patrons to "better" destinations based on his own experiences (LaGuardia instead of JFK, McDonald's instead of Wendy's, etc.)

>While walking home from a date, which George paid for, his girlfriend is happily surprised to find $50 on the ground which she keeps without giving George any of it. This makes George question the whole relationship.

Ironically, women's restrooms are (according to everyone on the internet) way worse than men's.

They used to be usually cleaner because staff clean them more often because women complain about them to staff more often and women get them filthy more often.

Now they clean bathrooms a lot more regularly in densely populated areas at least, so women being the actual filthy slobs is coming to light more. Also because women's ethos have changed from aesthetic beauty and cleanliness to being sloppy pigs and more useless than before, whereas men have gone from being kind of dirty and crude but getting lots of work done to faux-refined and finicky and getting less work done.

Correct.

Unisex bathrooms are always the worse. Tampons everywhere, blood, shit and piss on the seat. Men rooms are much cleaner because they don't have weird habits like "hovering". Women are kind of gross sometimes.

t. someone with 4 sisters

>Jerry gets a discount smartphone from Bob Sacamano.
>turns out it's stolen
>he meets Babu again who tells him about his new restaurant
>Jerry texts that the new restaurant is "the bomb!"
>Babu gets arrested for terrorism

>Jerry and George want to watch the new Star Wars movie
>the theatre has a no singles policy so they pretend to be a gay couple
>they are asked to kiss each other, George is okay with it but Jerry can't

>Newman shows Kramer some virtual reality sex simulator
>the 3D CGI woman in it looks like Elaine

>it's a Newman gets busted for watching anime episode

Two words: sanitary napkins

I've literally gagged before when I've had to empty them. The smell is literally putrid, and I'm a straight male who loves vagina ordinarily.

Ah doi!?!?!

It's like throwing away 3/4 spoiled meat.

bu dum bu dum bu dum bu dum bu dum bu dum BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH

This is an episode of Silicon Valley

I am hearing their voices reading this and it's brilliant! God I want Seinfeld back so bad!

>Kramer initially gets into uber when he accidentally became a drive instead of a passenger
>Doesn't stop driving due to constant stream of jobs on app
>"THESE PEOPLE NEED LIFTS, JERRY!"

This thread

Kek.

Bump

must be nazis all throughout history. many many people have hated jews through the years.

>elaine gets very excited about the fact that she finally made a female friend
>kramer points out that it's just a really beautiful man

The nasty, unsed sanitary napkins of a cute, attractive girl are intoxicating but it's the gross women that ruin women's bathrooms.

If my bedroom was a girl's restroom used only by pretty young girls I would never leave.

What's the DEEEEAL with brap posting?

...

That sounds like an episode I would love to see actually.

took too many posts

Diddy Kong walks awkwardly into Donkey's Kong's apartment.

Diddy: "A uh..."

DK: "Yes, a...?"

Diddy: "A male gorilla...gave me..."

DK: "Yes, a male gorilla gave you...?"

Diddy: "A male gorilla gave me...a grooming."

DK: "So?"

Diddy: "So he...had his hands and uh...he was...

DK: "He was what?"

Diddy: "He was uh...picking and scratching."

DK: "That's a grooming."

Diddy: "...I think it expanded."

>Kramer decides to camp at a footlocker to see what everyone is lining up for.
>George decides to install the tinder app and sees how many dates he can get with his fictitious alternative persona, Art Vandelay.
>George's cover is blown when Jerry runs into him and his tinder date.
>Kramer discovers that everyone is lining up for a pair of shoes and refuses to buy them; failing to realize the shoes lucrative resell value.
>Elaine is frustrated with the amount of Asians and Blacks she is matched up with on Tinder credits roll.

>George approaches Jerry in the cafe to see if he could ask Elane for some makeup and fashion advice. He doesn't want to approach Elane directly because he's scared of her ridiculing him.