WIPING UR ASS WHILE STANDING IS THE TRUE REDPILL

>WIPING UR ASS WHILE STANDING IS THE TRUE REDPILL

can we stop this

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Dubs have at it

No, we can't. Sup Forums will never be a vehicle for intelligent discussion because people still aggressively react to retarded posts, and people who ask legitimate questions often get categorized as bait.
The internet is filled with people who have nothing better to do than waste your time. Maybe this thread is bait, too? Who knows?

We can always hope for Sup Forums to change. It will never happen.

I wipe my ass while standing up, but only because I'm too fat to do it while sitting down anymore.

It's the furthest thing from a red pill.

>not standing up to wipe

Confirmed for DYEL birdman.

filthy seatwipers gas yourselves

Alphas stand
Betas sit

>listening to the jew

Sitting down is much cleaner and easier.

Leave it to a jew half-ass his ass wiping.
If you stand, your cheeks squeeze shut, locking away refuse behind a layer of outback and notre dame.

this

Jew

Your're a freaking maniac. You only lean forward enough to allow for a proper wipe angle. Not enough to let the cheeks to touch.

>not wiping in the half squat position for maximum balance of stability and access
never gonna make it

is wiping your ass with OP's face the true redpill?

There's nothing as subjective as ass wiping. Every person does it differently, that's why no one discusses it.

You fools, clearly the real solution is to not wipe and just take a shower after each dump.

If you got shit on your hand would you just wipe it with a tissue and call it good?

lazy squaters will never be as clean as those who stand and use their surroundings to spread their legs and, in effect, ass cheeks for maximum reach and cleanliness

No redpilled person is gonna wipe their ass with a faggot.

just check em baby

>Quads
>This is the true redpill we've able been searching for

more like wipe and then shower after
not touching poop or letting it touch soap bar in or out of the shower

>can we stop this
When did we ever start?

OP is a kike. Obvious slide thread. Sage.

the iron of my quads being #2

This. Shitting is the just the worst. If I can't smoke while I dump and then shower afterwards then forget about it - ill go home. I also have to have my phone or a radio and be able to reach hot water while im sitting on the bowl... yes I am on the spectrum.

>Not wiping standing up
Y'all are a bunch of disgusting savages

>not doing both
Fucking retards

Explain yourself.

Who shit squats here? Started doing it a couple months now using a squat attachment and my bowels and time is greatly improved

Every american I ever met has the faint smell of shit. Like they can't wipe. It's normal in australia for our fathers to wipe our bums until we around 14 and then we are given shmirrors.. like a dentist uses to see around in your mouth but its about the size of ur forearm and usually plastic or wooden. Mines red plastic with a green soft rubber gripper ( the gripper is actullay dads old garlic peeler thingy but I dont say anything ).

Who the fuck wipes his ass sitting? You literally have to go with your hand in the toilet bowl, and you can't even check whether everything is clean already.

you can see your own asshole? you a fucking owl?

>wipe ass sitting down
>stand up and inspect poo poo papers
>if brown then wipe again while stand-crouching

you look at the poop on the tissue you plebian

...

>wiping your ass
LMAO

I do it often. It's fucking god tier

When I wipe it never gets clean. I could wipe for years and it would still be highlighter yellow. Or red.

Wait, people wipe their ass sitting down?! What the fuck?

>stand up to wipe ass
>ass cheeks get squished together, along with the shit
>sit down while wiping ass
>ass cheeks are spread, allowing easy access
Why do you think the TP dispenser is right at seat level you mongs?

Use wet wipes m8.

Clean off the bad stuff with normal paper and then use wet wipes until you're clean. Usually takes me about 2-3.

I could never go back to dry paper only.

>shit squatting
>squat attachment
wtf are you talking about?

The real question is do you use the proper stance while making the shitting?

Yeah sometimes I wet the paper with a sink but not always. Should get more wet wipes.I love I can go and talk online about how to wipe my ass with a german. Truly great times we live in hahaha.

Just invest in pail, dipper, and liquid soap. Much cheaper than tissue paper and wet wipes over time.

whats pail and dipper?

>wiping your ass

You clean your behind with soap and water. If you caught shit on your face, would you just wipe it off with a cloth and carry on?

You dunk your asshole into the the dip and scrap.

...

I still don't understand how people wipe from front to back. I've been wiping back to front my whole life and been completely fine.

Always shower after you shit, and your underwear will be clean for at least 48 hours

shit balls detected.

Some of the wet wipes, depending on the formulation, are murder on my haemorrhoids. So I've taken to spitting on the toilet paper and using that. It is cheaper as well.

do you salute while whipping? or clapping?

So, I fill it with water, rinse my ass by pouring it down my crack, then wipe? If so ya'll foreigners go all out. I usually just use half a roll of toilet paper wiping or wet it and use a quarter. Or wet wipes.

Wiping while sitting is for women you beta cuck

There ya go. Whatever works haha.

...

Wiping your anus with dry paper is about as stupid as it gets, tbqh.

>pissing in the toilet
>not pissing in the sink
top kek toiletcucks

>he doesn't use copy paper to wipe his dirty dan derrière

Sup Forums is crap and has been crap for as long as I have been here.
Want intelligent conversation?
I would suggest a smaller chan website. Not lainchan though.

fuck you fob. stay on the islands.

Kek has spoken...

How much shit do you weirdos blow all over your asscheeks? I wipe once, just to make sure, but it's always clean.

Of course, if you always eat burgers and meat, your shit is gonna be dry.

>then wipe?
>roll of toilet paper
>wiping
>wet wipes.
user...

youtube.com/watch?v=dKkryfdtMNQ

I don't eat either.

You are doing your country proud

I've been using the same counter for so many years that I've got a lump of scar tissue on my leg from where it rests every time I shit.

I heard that americans don't look at the toilet paper between wipes and are scared of japanese toilets who clean your asshole.

Is this truth?

how the hell do people sit and wipe?

are you that lazy that you couldn't be bothered to stand and actually wipe your ass properly?

I can't even imagine how you can reach without touching the toilet seat or leaning so far over you're basically standing anyway.

>1,738,922 views

I've had to use water + hand in a emergency situation. The smell of shit lingered on my hand for hours, even 12 hours after multiple hand washing, and lathering my hand in hand sanitizer, there was still a hint of shit-smell on my hand.


Best wiping combo
>toilet paper
>wet wipe
>toilet paper

I dont like water sprayed at my asshole but i do look at the papper how would you know if you got all the poop without looking

>toilet is clogged due to bad plumbing, not my shit
>have to shit really bad
>put garbage can in bathtub
>excrete one nice firm chunk that sits right on top
>get plastic fork, empty coffee can
>spear poop and put it in can to take to garbage chute
>exit apartment holding can
>look up and my wife is standing five feet away
>"hey, I just need to...throw this away byee!"
>"...okay..."
I've only told my best friend that I met my wife holding a can of shit

how fat do you have to be not to be able to sit and wipe
fucking americans

I walk over to the sink and wet my hand and use just my hand to clean and run it under the water and repeat until it runs clear and then i wash my hands with soap and then put my stuff back on and go on with my day.

I remember when a friend nonchalantly remarked that he'd heard about someone who wiped their ass while they were sat down and how hilarious he'd found it.

The slow realisation appearing on his face as everyone else in turn ridiculed him for standing up to wipe was priceless.

He had never even considered that he was the odd one out, his whole world view was changed.

Small things like that make life worth living.

every civlilized member of European societies stand and wipe
ya stupid pleb

I knew I was instinctively alpha, this proves it.

Personally, I stand and tighten my ass cheeks hard enough to make the poo paste squeeze out into the toilet like a tube of toothpaste

sitting and wiping seems like the most inefficient thing ever tbhf

reminder that you only need to do that if you're fat as fuck
so Sup Forums basically claims that being a fat, useless fuck is "the ultimate redpill"

how big is everyone's toilet.

There is no way I can comfortably fit my hand down into my toilet, then come up and wipe, just none.

I can lean forward, but then I would basically be standing anyways. I'm at a loss.

>americun being fat
Shit you not

how do you guys deal with the problem of your dick getting in the way? i mean i tend to just coil it up in the sink as i wipe but the girth is the real issue because no matter where i put it, it still blocks easy access to my arsehole and if i tug on it to just be able to reach then it could get erect and i won't be able to fit through the door to get out properly.

so you're telling me you can comfortably place your ass on the seat and have enough room to squeeze your hand down there?

bullshit, unless you're a manlet there's no way you can do it with the one at my house.

Unless you weight 50kg or have a toilet ring the diameter of a car tire, I don't know how you can fit your hand past while sitting. When I'm sitting, my ass cheeks are already touching the back of the ring and my dick is an inch away from touching the front. I usually have to push my dick downwards to avoid pissing on the ring.

You're a skinny manlet or you own a giant toilet seat if you're able to wipe while sitting.