Be American

>be American
>get shot

>be German
>get shot (and axed)

>be French
>get run over

>be Belgian
>get bombed

>be British
>get stabbed and be forced to pay the jizya

Other urls found in this thread:

3news.co.nz/sport/video-highlights-australia-bowled-out-for-60-england-dominate-day-one-2015080706
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

didn't muzzies shoot up a cafe in sydney

>assniggerailia funny and creative as ever

>be australia
>get eaten by alligators, spiders, abbos, emus, snakes, dingos

>Australian
>Wake up and find spiders in my bed
>go to the shitter and see snakes coming from the toilet
>go get the mail and watch a dingo eat a baby
>go watch tv thats been heavily edited so not to hurt the nanny state citizens
>go on a chinese cartoon board with my 5 kbps internet and complain about americans

Amerifats btfo

feels comfy 2bh

This

>be hue
>get shrunken head

>be straya
>get overrun by emus

>be in germany
>not be german

>be flip
>see dead chink in the gutter

Everyday I'm thankful for the NEEDED gun laws John Howard bought in.

Ever since we took the world lean on gun control we have not had a single mass shooting (5 fatalities)

Feels good being safe mates :)

The samefagging memeing has to end

>Be Finnish
>Defend yourself against armed home invaders
>Get jailed for 4 years and forced to pay them 20k

>be australian

>get overwhelmed by fucking noodles

You country is dying in a more subtle way. Am i right, Chang ?

This

>be Croatian
>steal a lot of money
>become politician
>laugh at plebs

hustle is life
I'm comingggg there next week croatbro hook me up with some nice girls

>be Australian
>wake up
>wipe spiders off shitposting certificate
>go to toilet
>get bitten on the ass by a snake
>call ambulance
>it arrives
>abbos huff the ambulance's petrol whilst they are inside
>call taxi
>taxi driver dies from heatstroke on the way
>start running to hospital
>nearest hospital is 17 towns away
>trip over an abbo in the middle of the street
>make it to the hospital
>lie in hospital bed
>open Sup Forums
>type "be american" "get shot"
>type "be german" "get shot"
>type "be french" "get run over"
>type "be belgian" "get bombed"
>type "be british" "get stabbed"
>shit Australian internet dies

>be german
>born in Iran

>be Slovenian
>nobody gives a shit about us
>high standard of living
>literally paradise in the middle of hell

I wonder where Sup Forumss lone Estonian is, threads like this would be right up his estonian alley

>be Canadian
>Can't stop shitposting

I'd rather be shot desu senpai

kek, fucking quality mate

Stop bulling the kangaroo
Don't you know that if he stops funposting he will drown?

Aussies are fatter than "white" americans.

No alligator's in Australia.

Damn, what do you eat zealand?.

You can't be seriously implying emus are forcing aussies at talon point to funposting, my bean brother from another mother

Canada wins one!

More subtle than the way your's is dying.

>be australian
>lose to emus

>mfw whitest and most stable country ITT

>be Australian
>wake up
>peel myself off bed because it's 50C
>wipe spiders off shitposting certificate
>sit on toilet
>snake bites my anus
>call ambulance
>nearest hospital is 8 hours away
>ambulance finally arrives, i'm half dead
>whilst the paramedics were parked abbos came and huffed their petrol
>call a cab
>20 minutes away from the hospital the cab driver dies of heatstroke and crashes
>run the final stretch
>trip over an abbo laying in the road
>arrive at hospital
>lay in hospital bed
>pull out phone
>make this thread
>town modem stolen by abbos again

>tfw you become part of Russia because Trump pulls out of NATO
At least you'll still be white.

>go back

yes, THEY HAVE TO GO BACK!

>mfw the other whitest and most stable country ITT

>be in Germany
>be not tan German

>be israeli
>get stabbed
>shoot back and kill the kebab

Sides, orbit.

That's how you do it. Europeans don't fight back anymore like they want the death.

>be amerilard
>wake up
>roll out of bed into mobility scooter
>drive to kitchen
>open fridge
>only hamburgers
>take out 5 hamburgers
>cover them in batter
>crumb them
>deep fry them
>finally breakfast is ready
>grab 5L diet coke bottle from fridge
>roll off the scooter onto dining chair
>start eating
>after a long 3 minutes 1st course is finally finished
>roll back onto scooter
>time to drive down to the local McDonald's™ restaurant for second course
>open door to go outside
>get shot

>be israeli
>shoot and bomb unarmed civilians
>say it was self defence on plebchan
>???
>god's chosen

found the Maghrebi diaspora

>be australian
>capchta wont load

Jokes on me it wont load on ly desktop either

>b australian
>cant have fun on my shit dialup internet
>resort to constant shitposting

>Be straya
>Get shoot while eating warm chocolate

>If you have valid papers you can file charges

Well shit there's gonna be a problem there.

>Get attacked by a policemen
>Go complain to the police
>Cannot register your complaint
>Get deported

LOL

>Europeans don't fight back anymore
>muslims destroy world trade center
>elect one as your president
>twice
LMAO

> be straya
> walk on street minding own business
> get shot by retarded hysterical coppina who can't aim for shit

Shoo shoo, shill.
ANONS, GO HERE INSTEAD IF YOU WANT TO DISRUPT THE CLINTONS

MAIN BREAD
MEME BREAD

I wish France would follow Israël's example, shlomostein-senpai.

No, there are many misconceptions and myths about kangaroo shitposting and how it works.
See, they are born emotionless since the harsh conditions they live in would make very hard a living. So they have to force euphoria and other chemicals in their brain to be triggered manually. The process of manual triggering of an aussie is fascinating, the muscles around the aussie fingers actively stimulates the blood circulation, sending it over their accumbens nucleus and the shitposting does the other half of the job, opening/making a neural pathway to that part of the Limbic System. The aussie absorbs oxygen from the augmented breathing (thanks to the augmented cardiac rate caused by the pleasure the body is feeling) as it passes by. That is how they breath and live.

>be french
>get shot
>politicians:"you should get used to that"
>????
>fils de put mec, ou et la liberte?

No, you just go at each other with other weapons instead. I dated an Ausnigger at one point and she told me her neighborhood back home there were stabbings, rapes, beatings, etc.

I'm sure you really feel safe without those scary guns though!

>Be American
>Be fat

>euphoria and other chemicals in their brain
Mexican education at its finest.

20/10

Actually our cops did more damage than the Muslim :^)

you can even swap the money and politician lines. croatia is the land of opportunity (to steal)

>be Strayan
>meet Mick Taylor
>get made into a head on a stick

I wanted to tell you about my daily life but I'm not going to do that because slav gladiators are fighting ouside and I want to watch that.

>be Swedish
>get raped

>be dutch
>live comfy life
so far there have been multiple attacks in every country around us

>be KZ
>People only know your cunt for Borat and Sabina

>be white
>accept extinction

We have had 5 mass shootings since 96 and drive by shootings almost everynight in the shit parts of sydney and Melbourne. Do some non abc news research on the matter if you want an aussie red pill

Okay story time.

>be 20 year old drunk me with my boys taking the subway
>we get caught in a terrible mudslime infested neighborhood
>only half of us have subway tickets
>police comes to the scene
>it's us and a bunch of pakis
>the police officers are like: the greek guys are free to go
>yes sir! thank you very much
>pakis start complaining
>officers ask them to show papers
>they chimp out and try to pick a fight
>they get kicked to the curb
>officers start beating them for resisting arrest
>drunk friend asks if he can have some too
>officer bursts out laughing
>says sure, you can give him a kick, but then you have to leave
>mfw

PFFFFFFFFFFF

>tfw at 2 and a half home made hamburgers today

what're you gonna do about it

>A FUCKING CONSTELLATION

kewl

If im being honest senpai I think I would rather get shot with some 5.56 I think which is what the most recent BLM assholes used than be stabbed or axed.

>be muslim
>conquer Europa land and women

OH FUCK MY SIDES THEY'RE DRIFTING IN SPACE LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY IN GRAVITY

goddamnit, I want to visit Greece now...

t. Mahmoud

>Be Australian
>Get ass kicked by Emu
>Get raped by refugees
>Get ass kicked by Emu

...

What refugees?

kfc

but we been eating it for thousands of years which is why the kiwi is endangered and the moa is extinct

>Be Romanian
>See gipsy on street
>Get mugged

Good on 'em cunts.

>be australian
>wake up next to your sister
>"ay dahlin fahk moi that was a noice root last noight"
>ride a kangaroo to the shitposting plant
>get stopped by abos
>their faces haven't loaded yet because of high ping
>give them all your petrol anyway
>apologise for invading their country
>say thank you to the traditional owners of the land, the irrawajjialabumbajjiju people
>continue on your way
>shitpost hard on Sup Forums all day so you can afford to pay your internet bill ($1000 for 0.1bps connection, 3mb data cap)
>go home
>get mugged by abos again
>no petrol this time, give them some of your ping instead
>switch on the tv
>the wallabies lost to new zealand again
>"fahkin no worries m8 she'll be roight I'll just watch the loigue instead"
>the kangaroos lost to new zealand again
>"m-muh cricket"
>3news.co.nz/sport/video-highlights-australia-bowled-out-for-60-england-dominate-day-one-2015080706
>"m-muh afl"
>can't see what's happening, players' mullets blocking the camera
>go to new zealand, steal some pavlova, actors and a racehorse and claim they were yours all along
>cry yourself to sleep muttering "m-muh hdi, m-muh gdp per capita"
>get bitten by spoidah
>die within seconds

Delete this

>be australian
>wake up
>get bitten by a shiela funnelweb
>go to get the antivenom from the bathroom
>open cupboard
>get stung by an entire hive of bulldog ants
>call the ambulance, which arrives quickly
>The ambulance is rushing to the hospital when a wombat crosses the road and the ambulance swerves to avoid
>crashes into the sydney harbour
>get stung by irukandji jelly fish
>get to spend 2 months in the hospital praying to die while the poison wears off
>eventually recover
>ride the digeridoo to work
>get into a fight with piss, goonbag and petrol smelling abos, but since today is sorry day, you can't actually fight back
>go to the bathroom to wash off the smell
>no water comes from the taps because it's been a severe drought for the last 10 years
>get fired by your new chinese boss for smelling like shit
>go to the chocolate shop to buy some consolation snacks (never just one snack, aussies are fatter than americans these days)
>get shot by a muslim
>die
>leftards unsurprisingly do as much as possible to sympathize with the terrorist
>#illridewithyouonthedidgeridoo
>several weeks later, some lebs come and kick down your grave stone

5 star post

The 30k the labor party is about to let in

Liberals won tho

(You)

t. Greek minister of tourism

>This year 13,750 places will be made available for resettlement in Australia
>take an additional 12,000 refugees from the conflicts in Syria and Iraq. The first of these refugees have arrived and they are starting new lives in Australia.

Direct from the Coalition party website. I was off by a couple of thousand

>Be German
>wake up
>"ORDNUNG MUS SEIN"
>Go to the kitchen to make some breakfast
>Realise that you have some guests
>A migration board agent and several police arrive at your house to inform you that your house is being converted to asylum seeker dormitories
>they give you 12 hours to vacate the property, anything left behind will be forfeited to the state
>tell your wife and kids that this is necessary and tolerant, and that living at the nearby airport hilton for a few months won't be so bad, we aren't racist after all
>Decide to take your family to the airport hilton and return to pack up your belongings later in the day
>But something is amiss
>The autobahn you were traveling on has become fully clogged and you can't figure out why until you see a "refugees welcome, speed limit 10km/h" sign by the street
>suddenly, hordes of Syrian 30 year old war children with new iPhones and all the latest fashions start running through the traffic jam
>You are taken aback by how ethnically diverse this is and encourage your family to open their windows and mingle with the new arrivals
>As you are explaining to your children how the 800,000 refugees are akin to anti-racist chemotherapy for the oppressive Germany, you realise that your wife is missing
>start having panic attacks until you realise that she is probably just out at the bullmarket
>After several more hours, the traffic jam eases up and you drop your children off at the Airport Hilton
>It's too late to go back to the house by now, so you make your peace with the situation and realise that it must be very triggering for refugees to arrive at a house with no 4k tv to watch, no fridge full of food and no family albums to rip and tear for fun
>"success breeds jealousy," you whisper to yourself as you go to sleep

Hey fuck you. Wanna hear something even funnier? A couple hundred Turkish army officials that staged the coup, sought asylum in Greece, and they're probably gonna get it. Why? The official response is "we care about their human rights" (aka they're giving us classified military intel).

You can say whatever you want about Tsipras and his commie government, but it's pretty fucking based so far. We're even on the verge of paying the debt back. We had a surplus in 2015 and we're probably gonna have a surplus in 2016 as well.

Well shit, better start spreading my ass cheeks then :^(

>be australian
>wake up
>get bit by spider
>walk to my local hospital past the herpes infested river
>hope we can win this war unlike the emu war
>almost get hit by car that drives into police station
>almost get hit by car full of explosives that drives into other police station
>go to grab a coffee
>get shot by islamist and then police
>alligator starts to eat me because it thinks i'm dead
>manage to escape
>almost at the hospital now
>find the hospital
>it's now a luxury apartment building for an overpriced sale by the local chinese "investors"

Such is life in aussiestana

hi.do you play tf2 ?

Hello, do you play tfpoo in the loo?

>be Australian
>lose war to emus
>have even worse Internet than Canada
>have less guns than Canada
>have shittier weather than Canada