Xerxes: "what is our Army's composition?"
General: "1 million strong, with a vanguard of 50,000 spearmen and 100,000 archers"
Xerxes: "add a super rhino and a cave troll"
General: "...sir?"
Xerxes: "and also magicians."
General: "That sounds unnecessary."
Xerxes: "Then throw in some dudes with six fingers and filed teeth."
General: "The dentists won't like this."
Xerxes: "While you're at it, give my emissary a gigantic gold chariot."
General: "Are you feeling okay, sir?"
Xerxes: "And make sure our arrow heads are shaped like scorpions."
General: "What?"
Xerxes: "If my generals fail at dislodging the Spartans for even a single day, I want them executed"
General: "That seems a bit harsh"
Xerxes: "For the executioner, find the fattest man you can find"
General: "Okay"
Xerxes: "Then replace his hands with serrated scythe-axes"
General: "this man will have difficulties relieving himself"
Xerxes: "Oh and give him some golden nipple rings while you are at it"
General: "I'm leaving"
Xerxes: "what is our Army's composition?"
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It makes sense that the story is half-bullshit because in the end it's what that guy is telling the troops to rally them into battle. But still, Snyder a shit.
>yfw persians IRL complained about this
>almost banned the movie
Ayy lmao.
>Xerxes: "add a super rhino and a cave troll"
>General: "...sir?"
Not sure why I laughed so hard at this part.
>we could have had 300's level of ridicolous fantasy stuff in dc movies
>instead snyder got obsessed with re-doing watchmen in every single movie since man of steel
what a tryhard retard.
Cuz your hella stupid
>cast a white brazilian to play xerxes
>put so much makeup on him he almost looks mulatto
why?
Not ''almost banned'' it is banned in Iran.Sandnigger were this much butthurt they deny history and can't accept the fact they got totally BTFO by a few aryan men..
> greeks
> aryan
why anglos think that people that live in a fucking immense desert have to be extremely pale?
i will never understand.
I know you are trying to bait but they got mad because of what OP said. They didn't understand the movie was based on a comic, but then nobody got this. I'm pretty sure history teachers in school make their students watch this.
>a few aryan men
Persians are the OG aryans.
'aryan' originated as a term for Iranian people you dumbass
I was hoping the harem of deformed freaks would make a return in the second 300 but I fell asleep before finishing the movie
This. I think Sucker Punch killed his ambition for fantasy shit. Shame, he does good visuals.
Sup Forums rewriting history as we speak
Persia isn't really just a 'fucking immense desert' tbf.
Lotta false flags here
>Persian pic related
Americlap education at its finest ITT. Persians have a distinct culture and many of them hate what Iran has become.
This movie is not based on a fuckin comic or some fantasy,it's based on the actual history,event that actually happened and the movie depicts is 100 % accurate.It shows brown mudslime people as they actually are - weak and inbred,and white people as noble and strong.Thats why it got banned, because sandniggers can't face reality,that they are, and always were pathetic and stupid subhumans.
Well, ancient greeks were light skinned light haired indo-europeans if that's what he means, but the persians weren't like a huge bit darker by comparison.
>we need a Goat Man. where the hell is the Goat Man
>he's right over here my emperor
>okay cool now give him an instrument and put him in the tent with the sluts
...
>Persians losing wars since 499 BC to "barbaric slavers" and steppe nomads
Why can't the US just invade that shithole so we can reclaim Ahwaz and the islands of the Arabian Gulf?
t.didn't watch Justice League trailer
Only on retard and it's you.
>Man of Steel
>Watchmen
What?!
>Persians have a distinct culture and many of them hate what Iran has become.
>muh zoroastrist peaceful enlightened civilization.
if they were so nice how is it that they are now such shit?
>Only on retard and it's you.
you sure about that user?
It's the best scene in the movie. Don't forget the armless and legless guy, or the lesbian escapee from Venusville.
I wonder what would Turkey do if a good high-budget movie about the battle of Lepanto was released.
>youtube.com
>you know realize Hollywood will never celebrate a non-anglo battle even if when it's the biggest naval battle from the modern era
Ah, a faggot who missed the point.
I blame Islam, more specifically, Wahhabism.
>if they were so nice how is it that they are now such shit?
Islam.
Just how Northern Africa and most of India has turned into shit.
lmao Iran literally means Land of Aryans you retard while Greeks are proto-slavs
Snyder should get more credit for how batshit nutty the movie is, since the comic plays it a lot more straight. iirc the persians are portrayed as normal humans with no ninjas, monsters or goblin guys. Ephialtes is the only deformed person
>Wahhabism
>Iran
>mfw Sparta was a slave-state and Persia actually encouraged and supported local democracy within its empire
wtf
Why didn't the Persians build catapults?
We need more Greekino desu
Being a slave meant something different back then.
Because they are weak cucks that have been conquered by literally everyone, but mostly Turks.
>conquered by Assyrians
>conquered by Greeks
>conquered by other Iranian steppe tribes like the Parthians
>almost conquered by Romans
>conquered by Arabs
>conquered by Turks
>conquered by Mongols
>conquered by Turks again
>conquered by Turko-mongols
>conquered by Pashtuns
>conquered by Turks yet again
>conquered by more Turks
>conquered by westernized Tur-, I mean a righteous Aryan Shah
>conquered by Islamists, with the current Supreme leader being a Azeri Turk
All while LARPing as Arabs today, but they aren't as Ali-Reza makes sure to tell me when he types it in Arabic script, since Perscucks have no own alphabet.
>Iran
>wahabi
American education will be the death of us all
reminder of pic related
>Iran
>Sandnigger
Ok, I'm still learning. They're Salafi. I'm trying to understand the fundamentalists.
Did Persians pierce their dicks with golden rings.
Iranians are Shiite and Salafism is a Sunni movement
Persians were born with golden ring-pierced dicks. Don't you know your history?
Lmao no. Persians were pissed because they were depicted as blacks, brazilians, and gay (xerxes)
>make a joke
>lol fag missed the point retard
I bet you're real fun in real life.
King Xerses was black? Wow this really made me twink
They arent Salafi either you dimwit. Theyre Twelver Shia. Salafists and Wahhabists want to behead them for being "heretics".
This must be what it's like for a Muslim to understand branches of Christianity.
It was banned because they portrayed Persians as blacks and gay. Ever met an Iranian? Theyre huge racists and homphobes.
Why is Sup Forums so fucking stupid? Aryans are the people from North India, Not Persia/Iran/
Sup Forumstards don't know what Aryans are and the Tumblr SJW cancer doesn't know either.
Sucker punch is one of the only movies I've watched where I really felt like the pg-13 rating held it back. It should have gone for a hard R. The shekel potential with pg13 was just too big to resist I suppose.
I'm not a mudslime and I understand it just fine. Stop being retarded. Youre akin to the facebook grandpas and r/the_dildo posters who proclaim IRAN IS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE ISIS!!!!
>google Darius I
>this shows up
what did they mean by this?
>Xerxes: "Oh and give him some golden nipple rings while you are at it"
General: Sir, those are already standard issue
We wuz Perisa an shiet?
>The Modern Persian word Īrān (ایران) derives immediately from Middle Persian Ērān (Pahlavi spelling: ʼyrʼn), first attested in an inscription that accompanies the investiture relief of the first Sassanid king Ardashir I at Naqsh-e Rustam.[2] In this inscription, the king's Middle Persian appellation is ardašīr šāhān šāh ērān while in the Parthian language inscription that accompanies the Middle Persian one the king is titled ardašīr šāhān šāh aryān (Pahlavi: ... ʼryʼn) both meaning king of kings of Iranians.[citation needed]
>The gentilic ēr- and ary- in ērān and aryān derives from Old Iranian *arya-[2] (Old Persian airya-, Avestan airiia-, etc.), meaning "Aryan",[2] in the sense of "of the Iranians".
Go away Pajeet
DAS RITE
>almost conquered by Romans
top kek
those "Persians" arent black. GTFO with your revisionist propaganda.
>(Only black men can have this beard)
Oh no, I wil never look like a crazy hobo!
You dont know shit about slaves in Sparta lmao. They were literally hunted down and killed every so often by boys in training to become warriors. The slave class was kept around to feed the rest of society (the warriors) and all they were good for was being raped and killed otherwise.
Why do niggers try to co-op every culture? Is it because of insecurities stemming from the fact that their """culture"""" entirely consists of mudhuts and stone lip disks?
I was friends with an Iranian guy in college, like from Iran and studying here. There was a black guy in one of our classes named Darius and when the Iranian would get drunk he would get enraged talking about how he was stealing an Iranian name and he was just a nigger etc etc
How the fuck was it different? They were property, treated like shit, and hunted for sport. There's a reason for the multiple helot revolts
Wow, why aren't I more receptive to CAPS LOCK? Fucking autist.
>300
>2005
>good guys are only whites
>300 2
>2014
>same
How exactly Snyder managed get away with it twice, especially for 2 years before current year?
I think I have explained this to every friend of mine since we watched the movie at cinemas
Spartans, and greeks by extension, are all white and have a very "western" civilization. Suddenly, they are exposed to all kind of strange shit from the east, like guys with golden rings on their noses, huge animals with tusks that can step on you, weird clothes and awkward costumes... and they see that from the distance, att he other side of the front, or in the middle of a battle, with no time to really process it all. So, all that stuff is common for us, but for them, those guys are aliens. How do you reflect that feeling into the audience? You make those guys alien, even for us.
That's it. There was no monster, no strange creatures. But spartans saw then as that.
>but the goat man scene
we are seeing that scenes from efialtes point of view. He's freaking out
>but Efialtes himself
Spartans are obsessed about perfection. Any littel defect would make them consider somebody as a monster and a danger to their glorious race
there is a movie with Harrison Ford and Peta Jensen?
gotta watch asap
That's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Your dumb
You can't be over 25 and browse here
The movie, as you can tell, is greek propaganda.
Ancient greeks would fucking love it, depicting the Persians as nothing less than degenerate pigs against the honest, masculine rustic Grecian people.
It's based off a comic you fucking retard.
And the comic is based off history.
But the comic is pretty fun to read
The entire movie is from the perspective of a Spartan soldier durmming up war stories for his comrades. It's supposed to come off as propoganda
>Xerxes: "And make sure our arrow heads are shaped like scorpions."
>General: "What?"
Actually laughed
>be a helot
>forced to work spartan land
>receive annual beatings for nothing, just to remind you not to try Something
>made to publicly perform humiliating songs and dances and wear dog skin rags
>used sexually at the whim of spartan masters
>the best and proudest helots among you are periodically culled as a preemptive measure against revolt
>even if you are a good, submissive helot who takes his beatings and sings his work songs with an appropriate level of misery, you still might be randomly murdered by a teenage spartan during the annual krypteia initiation ceremony
>Being a slave meant something different back then
It sure did.
Jesus fucking christ. Persians are Shia you retard. Saudi are mortal enemies.
Also, thank USA and UK meddling for their dictatorship. With the usual sprinkle of USSR.
I guess the implied quotation marks were too subtle for you, stupid spergshitter
>Don't forget the armless and legless guy
Just re watched that scene. Completely forgot about that guy
Most slaves were treated like that and it was terrible for many people.
Being a slave didn't become bearable till serfdom came around. it was still shitty but not as bad. Especially since Lords feared uprising all the time.
city slaves in Rome had it pretty good compared to most
>The hunchback betrays them in the end.
Was this movie supporting eugenics?
it's a fantasy movie
They should have just let that little goblin guy fight with them. Throw him out in the murder zone, literally nothing to lose.
like literally at the very first line of narration in the WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE?
Yeah or at least have him fight with those brawler guys or whatever they were called.
I mean for the audience.
The helots and the way they were treated is pretty unique in history actually.
plus Leonidas' whole reasoning of him being the weak link in the phalanx is undermined by them breaking formation in every fight but the first one
Retards greeks are not proto slavs, they are meditrranean and close to north africa, levant, south italy. There was a slavic introgression but minor.
North India and Iran are bot indo-aryan (D-uuuhhrr) and their original religions (Hinduism and Zoroastrism) share some part (the gods of one ar de demons of another, to put it over-simple).
Read a fucking book time to time people.
the sequel was good and had one of the hottest sex scenes ever, the spartans arriving at the end was pure kino
debate me
i remember this. so dumb in retrospect and it makes Leonidas a giant douche
There was a sequel?
THE FILM IS THE VISUALS THAT THE SOLDIER IS GIVING OFF TO THE SOLDIERS HE'S TALKING TO. HE'S HYPING IT UP. THAT'S THE POINT. HE'S MAKING IT SEEM GLORIOUS AND INSANE.
Everything they showed they had.
300: Rise of an Empire
The second one is also propaganda, but from a woman's pov.
dude i remember going to the theater and everyone got so aroused with that scene
fapped to it for days
well the following film, it kinda takes place during the events of 300 but doesn't focus on the spartans, more on the rest of greece uniting against xerxes and eva green
>Your...