Things you will never hear a Muslim say

Things you will never hear a Muslim say

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqiya
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Islam is a religion of peace

Pretty sure since there's a billion of them I can find them saying fucking anything, but on average most won't defend apostasy and the punishment for leaving is death.

Where's the soap aisle?

I will kill you now.

>editor's note: killing disqualifies one from being a true muslim

I've just learned how to land airplanes

Judging by Germanys recent events it's say "Allahu Akbar" could never been in a Muslims vocabulary

I request that we please have consensual sex

>"Islam is responsible for Islamic terrorism and we need a reformation to counteract Islam's inherent propensity to create violence".

I don't like to fuck goats

I am a good goy and support israel

>I really like that drawing of Muhammad you made.
>Of course you can mock my faith, I believe in free speech
>I'd like some more of that pork/bacon/ham

I'm sorry

"I take accountability for our extremist minority and vow to help stop them"

>"I will only have sex with this goat"
muslims are always cheating on their goats

" I am so grateful this country took me in, its time to do my part and assimilate "

This pork roast is ambrosial.

I am an integrated member of Western society who respects secular democracy

"I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. This was a great conversation, looking forward to further exchanges."

>One second mom, I'm browsing Sup Forums with my transgendered girlfriend.

No britfriend, the thread is
>things you will never hear a Muslim say
Not
>things you will never hear a Muslim mean

Hello, CAIR

Women are humans too

"Hey guys lets go on /pol!"

My Jewish friend and I were each enjoying a pork sandwich in our gated community

Deus vult.

>a newspaper on the other side of the planet published a satirical cartoon mocking my faith. That's cool it important not to take things to seriously and everyone is entailed to voice their opinions.

underrated

Yeah, if only this wasn't Sup Forums, where we know it wasn't the muds, but the Mossad who did it.

islam is not a religion of peace

They used muslim patsies to fly the planes tho.

>excuse me, you seem to be out of toilet paper

Sup Forums (PBUH)

i have a pet dog

I love bacon

I WILL BLOW YOU UP FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

ISIS needs to be stopped

maybe in YOUR country theres a billion of them. here we've done a pretty good job of weeding them out.

Holy Spirit

Islam is responsible for TERRORISM and we need a THOROUGH CLEANSING OF ALL MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRIES BY SECULAR GOVERNMENTS to counteract all the jihadis

You heard it from me, a muslim.

"sorry"

Gee condemning terrorism once a week sure is reducing attacks

yeah, but the Jews were given that land by God.

top chech

"HE WAS GERMAN IRANIAN AND HAS NO TIES TO ISLAM!!!!"

"I recognise that you are non-muslim but hope we can live alongside one another peaceably."

This is a trick question, Muslims could say anything because their religion allows them to lie when they feel persecuted.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqiya

>Allah bless America

I'll have the pulled pork sandwich, and a Bud Light.

r u stupid?

>Shitposting this bad

Gotta hand to it you though