Sauron has regained much of his former liquidity. He cannot yet take corporative form...

Sauron has regained much of his former liquidity. He cannot yet take corporative form, but his greediness has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his skyscraper, the CEO of Mordor sees all. His audits pierces policy, appeals, collaterals and taxhavens. You know of what I speak, Gandalf? A great Accountant lidless and wreathed in flame. He is gathering all evidence to him. Very soon he will summon an army of lawyers great enough to launch litigation upon Middle-Earth(tm).

Arise! Arise, Bankers of Theoden! Stocks shall be shaken, contracts shall be splintered! A crash day... a black day... ere the market opens! Bid now!... Bid now!... Bid! Bid to ruin and the market's ending! Debt! Debt! Debt! Debt! DEBT! Debt! Forth, Eorlingas!

Theoden: Why should I welcome you, Gandalf Taxcrow?
Wormtongue: A just question, my liege. Late is the hour in which this auditor chooses to appear. "Taxspell" I name him. Ill news is an ill guest.

>tfw too dumb to make lotr tax memes

Where is the stock and the profit? Where is the bubble that was growing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like money on a woman's hand. The graph has gone down in the West behind the hills into deficit. How did it come to this?

So much debt... What men can do against such reckless rates?

I know you can do it user. I trust you. Google some famous quote and change some words for financial ones. Cmon!

Looks like taxposting is back on the menu boys!

>File your taxes, you fools

> This fucking thread

Been coming on here for a while and never noticed LotR taxposting. Good stuff.

bump

I hope Galadriel has someone to do her taxes for her while she's riverdancing

>File, you fools!

>I told you to revoke the broker's license

That would be extremely taxing.

>not back on the audit

One job

And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. Companies became public. Corporations became conglomerates. And for two and a half thousand years, the copyright passed out of all knowledge.

...

Come not between the taxman and his prey! Or he will not tax thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the jails of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled butt be left naked to the other incarcerated.

...

The world is indeed full of legislations, and in it there are many dark places.

>Let's loosen these borders or we'll never get everyone in

>Everyone?? How many more are there?

>I withdrew my funds from your mutuals
>Mhehehehahahahaha, you have no account here Gandalf the Grey

...

>tfw this is one of the few good things left in this shithole

why did Sup Forums have to get targeted by subhuman spammers

From the IRS, a credit shall be woken. A deduction from the shadow shall spring. Refunded shall be tax that was taken. The penniless again shall be king

>wants to taxpost in order to make fun of GRRM
>never had a job or paid taxes so don't know a thing about it

You will major in art history. An image of the splendor of the kings of men in glory, undeterred by the poor job prospects. You, my daughter, you will linger on jobless and in debt. As night falling winter has come without a job offer. Here you will dwell, bound to your debt, under your liberal arts degree, until all the world has changed and your life savings are utterly spent.

Arwen... there is nothing for you there, only federal unsubsidized interest rates.

>I didn't think it would end this way.

>End? No, the financial year doesn't end here. Taxes are just another path, one that we all must take. The liabilities of this quarter roll back, and all turns to deductible corporate expenses, and then you see it.

>What? Gandalf? See what?

>Tax refunds, and beyond, the far Cayman Islands under a tax haven.

>Well, that isn't so bad.

>No. No, it isn't.

...

Bravo. Very good

...

s-same user how old are u

26

what the fuck, no way

living the dream

This meme is too smart for its own good

> i can avoid being audited if i wish, but to not pay taxes entirely, that is a rare gift

>sit in a dark corner of pub with your hood on, smoking pipe while autistically staring at manlets

The fuck was his problem?

>The fuck was his problem?
he was the last of a royal line of ubermensch destined to save the entire world from a fallen angel

This meme is way ahead of it's time.

he's just like me

intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor

Taxes... you fear every season
The Government is too wasteful and too weak
You know what they awoke in the Tax Code...
Audits, and Flame!

Soon, Master White Male, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Jews! Roaring fires, malt taxes, schekels off the bone.

you're a wealthy guy

>[Frodo puts IRS audit notice on a stand for all to see]
>Boromir: So it is true. In a dream, I saw the Eastern sky grow dark. But in the West, a pale light lingered. A voice was crying, "The review is near at hand, Isildur's Bane is in the mail."
>[reaches for the papers]
>Boromir: Isildur's Bane...
>Aragorn: Boromir!
>Gandalf: [speaking the words printed on the first page] דיני מסים או דיני מס הם מערכת החוקים שמכוחם מוטלים מסים על הפעילות הכלכלית על ידי השלטונות
>[the light darkens and the air rumbles; Boromir backs away]

>mfw taxposting is alive and well
keep it up lads

For my shareholders

>tfw i read this out exactly how the scene played in the movie

>taxposting

Who is the target audience here? This meme is bizarre and unfunny, but I see a lot of effort.

It must appeal to somebody. Care to spill the beans? I'm fascinated.

I even read it in Weaving's voice haha.

>I will withdraw your assets, Saruman, like funds are withdrawn from an ISA

Anyone who hates GRRM smug fat face. So everyone.

it's the only thing keeping me from killing myself

The one with Gandalf and Pippin in Gondor makes for best comedic value imo

It's mocking Gurm's pretentiousness, even if the quote does get taken out of context.

Out of the loop. How is this related to grrm?

Well, you got yourself audited! What's the next step in your master projection?

He was in an interview where he said Tolkien never went into Aragorn's tax policies, among others.
While the quote was never intended to attack Tolkien, only his shallow imitators, it's still funny because Martin himself never actually goes into any tax policies.

>Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it's not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn't ask the question: What was Aragorn's tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren't gone – they're in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?

>They've taken our inventory and frozen our accounts. We have barred the gates, but cannot held them for long. Our shareholders quake.. Thumps, thumps in the deep..

>We cannot cash out. A faceless informant moves through our halls...We cannot cash out.. They are coming..

Going the extra mile with the Yid-speak deserves a (You)

thats pretty meta

I like it

>Shadowtax. Tis the lord of all bankers........and has been my consultant through many audits.

I did not loan through stock crashes and inflation to bandy witless words with a Creditor!

Not to mention that we are all autists and we use actual quotes, switching only some tax words in there
I am confident that at this point we have re-written the entire movie
kek

>So much debt. What can men do again such reckless rates?

>Evade with me. Evade and sue them

>For bankruptcy and profits

>For Rohan Inc. For your shareholders

>"The market is opening"

>"Look to my jet at 5:30 AM next week"

>Yes. Yes. The Phone of H. Hammerhand will ring in the deep, one last time!

>Let this be the hour when we draw litigation together. Fell collectors awake. Now for insolvency, now for ruin, and the black crash! Forth Eorlingas!

Heehee

>>"The market is opening"
Lost it

underrated

>Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper.

This bothers me because the goodness of a King is measured by the prosperity of the land

>What about bailout?

>You already had it!

>We had one, yes. But what about second bailout?

He's referring to the medieval concept that if the king was some fair noble guy that flowers and lambs would literally sprout up out of the ground

Also a land can be prosperous while being ruled by a tyrant

This is the best thread on Sup Forums

>Every intern able to hold a pen has been sent to the accounting department... sir?

>Who am I, Gamling?

>You are our CEO, sir

>And do you trust your CEO?

>Your employees, sir, will follow you to whatever end

>To whatever end...

>>like money on a woman's hand

Ugh

This is why I tell my friends not to visit Sup Forums

>For Rohan Inc. For your shareholders

audible kek

>t. Joss Whedon

>AND MY TAX!

>Nasty little jew bankerses, we hates them! We hates them!

...

wow gee mate, everything will be all right, keep your head up
jesus, I just came here to shitpost and then there is this guy like a bucket of a hold water

...

My accounts are spent. My profit has ended. Rohan Inc has bankrupted us. Theoden's liquidated me. Abandon your stocks! Sell, sell for your lives!

fat pervert cuck thinks he's smart and talks shit to a masterpiece written by a world war veteran
hilarity ensues when infamous 4channer board /television/ makes fun of lard lewder for his stupidity

>Bail me out
>What?
>I cannot meet my quarterly targets you'll have to bail me out!
>W-wait. Don't tell the IRS
>Not a word

...

10/10

So when are we dubbing this?

>MY EMPLOYER, H&R BLOCK, BIDS THEE WELCOME!

>unfunny

yeah well thats just like your opinion man

>'My Dear BPs and Boschs, Fargos and Petrobras, MUBs, JPs, Mobils, Boeings, BMWs and Exxons *Exxon MOBILS!*. Today is my 111th audit! *Happy Audit!* Alas Eleventy One audits is far to short a time to accrue credit among such excellent and admirable markets. I don't know half my competitors half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of their portfolios half as well as they deserve. I errrrr.....I have...reports to file *I've put this off for far to long* I regret to announce this is a takeover...I'm filing bankruptcy now'.

>Gondor LLC?

>Where was Gondor when the Westfold portfolio fell? Where was Gondor when our debtors closed in around us? Where was Gon…

>No, Mr. Aragorn, we are alone.

...

>Nobody bails a dwarf out
>Not the utilities!

>... You bankrupted!

>Through audits... and proceedings... from the lowest offices to the highest courts I fought the audits of the IRS.

>Until at last I proved all my claims and threw out my documents into the paper shredder.

holy fucking kek

>An Auditor is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

someone needs to gather all taxposts and redub the entire trilogy

>You carry the rates of us all, little one

>The market is changed. I feel it in asia. I feel it in the uk. I smell it on wallstreet. Much that once was, is lost. For none now trade, who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Housing Bubble. Breaks were given to the Fanny May, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven, to the Auto lords, great manufactuers and craftsmen of the detroit halls. And nine, nine stocks were gifted to the race of the shareholders , who above all else, desire power. For within these stocks was bound the strength and will to govern each fortune 500. But they were all of them, deceived. For another deal was made. In the land of Isreal, in the fires of the temple mount, the dark lord Bilderberg forged in scret a master market to control all others. And into this market he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all stocks . One Market to rule them all