Rico Muerte. Big time hustler

Rico Muerte. Big time hustler.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Lake
youtube.com/watch?v=e8IEiwBLSxw
youtube.com/watch?v=8ppE4-Og9dI
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Although: Max Payne 2 > 1 > 3

ITS PAYNE

>Sup Forums fags will never experience this video game kino noir series

WHACK EM

oh Rico. you're soooooo baaaayd

Was the movie any good?

Ludacris played Jim Bravura.

that should answer your question.

You play, you pay, you bastard.

...

Well, he's big alright.

Dodging bullets like raindrops.

Did they even bother to have John Woo-style ridiculous action? I think I already know the answer to my own question.

He was trying to buy more sand for his hourglass. I wasn't selling any.

>Did they even bother to have John Woo-style ridiculous action?
Of course not. Just some really awful Valkyr hallucination CGI

>And now, the season finale of Lords and Ladies.

My lord!

>tfw all seasons of Lords and Ladies, Address Unknown, and Dick Justice become available on Netflix

In Max Payne 1, in the hotel near the beginning, there are porno mags open on some of the coffee tables in the hotel rooms

There is a picture of a women's ass with a black thong. I zoomed in on it with a sniper rifle and jerked off when I was like 12

How the fuck did you get the sniper rifle at the beginning? That's one of the last weapons you get.

>Two mad dog killers, ready to murder each other! They step into the next room, and I'm thinking, now they're gonna do it. But no! They sit down in front of a TV and solve their differences with a kung fu fighting video game! I tell you Candy, I got so depressed, I strangled them both with the video game cables.

Was that wamen sucking his beins?

Cheats. You don't remember cheats.ugo? Or cheatgames? Gamewinners?

But seriously,

>not gamefaqs
You were doing it wrong all along, boi. But I agree that this doesn't belong, so not bumping.

>12 years old
>convinced dad and cousin this movie would be good
>loved the games so much
>certain about movie being awesome

what a mistake that was. they gave me shit about it for years afterwards. and rightfully so

>12

correction, I was actually 14

I never touched gamefaqs ever to be honest. IGN had walkthroughs I needed, and the other sites I mentioned had the cheats.

IT'S THAT COP

Vlad was right. There are no choices. Nothing but a straight line. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask 'Why me?' and 'What if?'. When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning. If you had done something differently, it wouldn't be you. It would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions

I would fuck her.

>implying i don't consume the best each medium has to offer

>game was a parody of noir and action movies with a good sense of humor
>the movie focuses on the noir aspect, has little to no action, no humor and no Vlad
>actually takes the campy storyline of the game seriously

> 2>1

tfw i liked that movie

665. The neighbor of the beast.

SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT AMERICANS, BUT WE U N D E R S T A N D CAPITALISM

third one isn't as quotable, sadly. Except for the turning people into glue line.

why didnt they just hire Sam to do the movie

Marky Mark is more recognizable and will bring in the normies. The Vietnamese audience might be alienated, but they're not people so it's ok.

But he can't do the face. You gotta have the face.

Cuz he has a thick accent.
Just hire the guy who did his voice and face in 2/3.

THE NIGHT THE PAIN STARTED

PAYNE
IN
THE
BUTT

No one making the movie gave a shit.

How old is this guy? He's got god tier aesthetics. I'm jelly.

>address unknown

don't tease me like this

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Lake

>>game was a parody of noir and action movies
I was ten at that time and didn't realize parody aspect of Max Payne at all. For me it was really cool and dark depressing story, ending of the first chapter felt like a mystic thriller really (some real lovecraftian shit).

DON'T ANSWER THAT

youtube.com/watch?v=e8IEiwBLSxw

What's a really good noir film?

i still remember that fucking drug induced trip level being so fucking disorienting and confusing

Childhood is diving through every door to shoot people.
Adulthood is realising that slow-mo walking through them just makes more sense.

>falling off the path
>the screaming

Max Payne 1 > 2 > Dvd of the movie gone through the digestive system of a elephant > Max Payne 3

Looks like James Corden.

FPWP

1 > 3 > 2

YOU'RE IN A COMPUTER GAME MAX

His face looks A LOT like a low-level actor that I don't know the name of nor the tv-show or possibly movie I've seen him in. Now it'll bug the shit out of me.

Thread theme song:
>www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzsiE44Lz_w

I always felt bad killing the goon who plays this on a piano.

Oh, come on.
youtube.com/watch?v=8ppE4-Og9dI

THE FLESH, THE FLESH, I THINK I DIED, I THINK I'M DEAD I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW. DEATH IS COMING, IT'S COMING, THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE HERE, GET AWAY, GET AWAY, I'M GONNA HURT YOU, I'M GONNA HURT YOU.....

...

...

Funny ASS hell!

This is a Alan wake thread now

god this game was such a masterpiece, it even had its own in game tv shows which reflects subtexts of the story

>It's true what they say about the fall and the sudden stop at the end.

I'd lain here in the snow while the lurid chain of scenes that had led me here kept playing in my head, a rerun of my own private snuff movie, a memory of my corpse. Alone at my own wake. Thinking in metaphors again.

The Femme Fatale was gone.
>This was a late goodbye. Thirteen years after I'd gotten my revenge, it finally caught up with me. It'd been a long time to bear the pain.

My blood painted the snow red - a gruesome slushie - dissolved all the scattered painkillers, and leisurely dripped down to the sewer, mingling with the bile of the city, becoming one with it.
>tfw we will never get the real max payne 3 Sam lake wanted to make

>Finish that miniboss fight
>Check behind the bar to look for some ammo
>The floor is filled with semen

the only thing i remember about the third game is some penthouse mission and going down a river

man that game sucked compared to the OG

damn mona looks like THAT!?

this looks like it would be awkward at that angle

>we will never get the real max payne 3 Sam lake wanted to make
So what was it he wanted to make, considering Max found his peace at the end of the 2.

LOVE
SAVE US ONCE

Oh that explains why Quantum Break was so behind modern games. It was pretty much a cheap TV show render in CGI for some reason

the ending to max payne 2 is kino.

max payne 3 wasn't bad, in fact, it was pretty gud. it still had that noir feeling, even without the rain. especially like how max wore different clothing every level, only video game i know that does that. max keeps putting on the grey suit and it keeps getting more and more wrinkled every level he wears it in.

Movie was more of a travesty than 3.

What went so terribly fucking wrong?

The worst were the fanboys.

"Hey you can still play it like the old games, just dont use the cover system!"

With mapdesign focussed on small rooms full of boxes and chest-high walls, weapons that require 2 second reloading after 3 second shooting and static as fuck enemies... riiiiight.

>WAHHH IT'S TOO HARD

is all i hear when you say this