Tfw not witty

>tfw not witty

why didn't he have a funny qwip ready?

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>I know you are but what am I?

He didn't have room to talk.

the best comeback would be if he just started screaming until he passed out

He didn't need one because at the end of the day he's going home on his yacht full of whores while she goes back to her one bedroom apartment to eat cup noodles

>kind of like you did in WWII?

just hide your face and bear it

>What you guys want the only one in the room who doesn't have aids to get out so I don't catch it from you degenerate faggots? that's so sweet thank you.... cunt

it must suck being a millionaire but limp-dick fat fuck who probably cant mantain erections for too long

'There are millions of you, there's only one of me'

>about to commit suicide
>helium tank, gas mask assembly complete
>put on mask
>turn on tank
>lay down face up on bed
>close eyes
>mum opens door
>"user WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
>take off gas mask
>prepare the most dramatic speech that will make her cry for sure
>deep breath
>attempt to begin speech, forget that there's helium in lungs
>the words "you'll never understand my pain" come out in the squeakiest, queerest chipmunk voice
>she fucking starts laughing

>r/Sup Forums up in this shit
I hope you die

>Yeah well at least I'm not a nigger fucker
g-got em!

Mmmm there's millions of pounds of you, sweetie

fucking epic Sup Forumsro

He didn't need a comeback all he needed was to just laugh along with it gracefully. Him getting butthurt made him look insecure as fucked and that's what fucked him over, not the her snarky remark about not wanting to fuck him. He could have just shrugged and laughed but instead he showed weakness.

He should've said
>Does anyone else have any other statements... that are smart?
LOL

these
He oozes insecurity

>wow that's taking it a bit too far, don'y you think. You should apologize. Do you want to apologize? ...

>HHAHAHAHA nah I'm just fucking with you, that was pretty funny actually

Yes, the girl made it clear he had to leave the room.

not the worst

"Well, enjoy that little hypothetical world of yours, jesus"

>No that's fine. I'm not really into your type anyway

Would have made her insecure and mad.

It's approaching a year at this point and Sup Forums still has not come up with a single worthwhile retort.

Did this one woman BTFO not only Jonah, but every single person on this board, permanently, forever?

>tfw you could kill every single person in the room before the studio security could put you down

FRENCH WHORE BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

What does it mean to be "superbad"?

Could've just said that desu

based!

Shoul we just go and ask /sci/ or /lit/? Is it even scientifically and philosphically possible to find the right come back?

>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better.

>I'm a big target. Yeah, you're right, I eat too much. I also drink too much. I could be a healthy-hearted person like you... but I don't like to eat vegetables.

>Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not dieting. I like... I like meat. Seth Rogen likes me. My Subway Sandwich Artist like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What I see is what I eat

Truly the French are NOT to be trifled with

If one French qt can make an ENTIRE website so insecure and upset, what else could she do?

BUT THE JERK STOREEEEEEEEEEEEE

>"oh that's funny! yeah, i'll be sure to tell leo & brad about that next time we have cocktails while you're talking about rainclouds and pointing at a green screen"

idk something like that would've worked

>"I'll give you a million dollars to blow me after the show but only if you accept right now."

...

This man is the human equivalent of box wine.

He's trying so hard to look like his idol Leo here but just comes off pathetic. Also brown blazer? Ewww.

holy kek

I'd say something like
> you dumb bitch, i'm going to rape you!

>At least I'm not a smelly fucking frog

Top lel

It really wouldn't matter if he ever manages to un-fat himself and get super fit. He'll always have that ratty fatty Jew personality.

Weather girl wins again

>tfw you come up with a good comeback, but it's a week later

Well I don't throw up after I eat

>Y'know I think George already had a pig.

Boom.

DELETE THIS

>I didn't know you two were gay...

You Can't Always Get What You Want starts playing

>enjoy this moment, woman. You insulted an international celebrity on TV, you'll get press, you'll tell your friends about this, over and over. And then what? What will you do, with all your guile and wits? Wits that had you writing this joke down ahead of time, crafting it, to confront an unprepared man, to make your light shine brighter. I'll tell you what you'll do. Live in mediocrity. In your career, this moment is the shining pinnacle, your masterpiece. For you is a majestic tower, rising, soaring into the clouds. Good for you, really. Let me tell you what I shall do. I shall live above your moment. The peaks of my career are mountains, the summit of which will never be equaled. The jagged apex of my mountain range rips a gash in the heavens, spilling the blood of the gods and fertilizing the lush forests of talent which grow upon the landscape of my success. And from the apex of my talent, I shall look upon your tower, the tower which for you stands so noble and tall and shining. And I will see a hill of beans. Rotten, putrid, petty and stinking, stinking like the body odour of the women which call this land of France home.

I think Jonah should have said something like this.

The retort should be inline with the insult. So, not very intelligent, petty, passive-aggressive.
Something like this: "I hear the Oscars after party will be pretty epic this year. Oh, you aren't invited?"
or
"Do you know how much fun one can have with the stupid amount of cash Hollywood throws at me? Oh, wait, you cant"

*pulls out .45*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

YOU JUST CAN'T WIN

>That's funny you say that actually, I was having lunch with Brad and Leo a couple weeks ago and they've done stuff like that before, but never anyone French so yeah, I can talk to my people about maybe setting something up.

Honestly the only good thing he could have said.

this incident mortified him so much that he actually got thin

He should have played along with the joke and laughed.

Trying to make a comeback just shows that he was hurt by her words.

You guys keep trying to come up with these clever insults and retorts but if he said any of these it would make it seem like he's getting overly defensive and lashing out at her.

The correct response would be to laugh and agree with her joke, then move on.

That sucks ass

These are getting worse by the minute
Lay off the cake fatties

That's the point. Or was it initially.

He should have just said "Yeah, you wish" and moved on.

Go on, try and come up with a better retort.

Not at all. In the situation he was in, coming back with an attack would be in poor taste. Just playing it off makes her look unnecessarily aggressive and makes him look calm and collected, how an American celebrity should appear during an interview.

Like this

>and you leave
>Yeah you wish
WEATHER LADY BTFO

There is literally nothing worse than suppressing your feelings. And dont kid yourself, faking it is crystal clear
A petty counter-attack is much more respectable than playing it cool when you arent

There's a lot of division in this thread about how much effort he should put into the retort. This is simply stupid though, makes him look like a butthurt American with a 3rd Grade mentality.

No retort is better than any retort desu

Link?

He should have stood up

walk over to her

unzip his pants and begin urinating on her until security drags him away.

>WHATCHU GON DO BOUT IT
it could work

>On national television
>Letting your emotions dictate your behavior

Come on man. It was obviously a dick move, that the weather lady made, responding to an actual harsh attack with a quick retort (especially if you don't pull it off right) just makes you look bad.

No, he can't say anything. Just start urinating on her with a completely serious look on his face. Even after he's being pulled away by security he just keeps staring at her.

I've seen plenty of good retorts desu. I just like jonahposting and shit talking that fat fuck

"I can't le fucking understand what you are le saying"

Honestly the first thing he should have commented on was her awful drawn out delivery.

Jonah posting is great stuff, and it's a great exercise in milking a meme for all its fucking worth.

Will one of you faggots post the clip you're talking about? Not all of us fucking live on this board.

He should have burned the french flag right in front of her while yelling "heil hitler"

reverse image search the OP image and click the first link dumbass

The guys saying that he should've not replied are right. If he just said something like "Yeah, you're right." and laughed a bit, she'd look like a cunt that attacked an innocent man in an inappropriate way and situation.

Fuck, imagine the headlines that would make.

>Ha ha that's pretty funny, plan on going Nice any time soon I could take you in my truck parenthesis lol

youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4

Look at the like/dislike bar. She already did look like a cunt.

>You leave
>Yeah you're right *awkward laugh*
>she'd look like a cunt that attacked an innocent man in an inappropriate way
How do I know you're fat?

That's a good one, but it relies on her reply. That's a backfire.

>all these triggered fatties in the comment section
This is why everybody hates amerisharts

Who can blame Jonah for being off his game during the interview, he was obviously distracted by French Bruce Jenner in the red dress!

I'm not but thanks for guessing :^)

so much work when I can just get an autist to take care of biz

BTFO

he should have ripped his clothes off while screeching like a spider monkey and throwing feces around the room

i guarantee you she wouldn't ever make that joke again

Name one good retort

He handled it fine. You guys are all faggots and autists that never leave your house. You just imagine what human interaction is like. This board is stupid, damnit.

>I'm glad I came to this show to get ridiculed by a local presenter.

He put her in her place, OP. It wasn't a bad retort.

Agreed tbqh

Get rekt nigger, he's actually fairly handsome. Even without being rich and famous you can absolutely slay pussy with just a bit of confidence if you're presentable.

>"They wouldn't give you the time of day"

or something like that.

>"They only date hot girls"

how are these?

Wrong, I leave my house often. And Jonah could have certainly handled it better, but the nitpicking of responses is why Jonahposting is fun.

that was pretty harsh and desu he handled it as well as possible.

Lmao

Does this bitch not even know what kind of girls leo and brad hang out with? Both her and jonah are mediocre looking, they would be perfect for each other

Not clever enough

His only problem was he wasn't loud enough. He called her a small-time local celebrity, and that ain't bad.

>The funny part is that joke will probably be the height of your career HA HA HA HA HA

Good rebuttal desu