constantly on the verge of suicide

> constantly on the verge of suicide
> have gotten so used to the feeling you don't even notice it anymore

how is your mental health, int?

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theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/13/magic-mushrooms-reboot-brain-in-depressed-people-study
theguardian.com/science/2016/may/17/magic-mushrooms-lift-severe-depression-in-clinical-trial
twitter.com/AnonBabble

i just want more sleep
been sick for a week, it's horrible
otherwise pretty gud

Sub par. Would never leave my bed if it weren't for uni

> too anxious to attend classes
> was a dropout twice already

I've been there. What about it makes you anxious? Going to classes or the work? If it's just going to classes you should look into online schools.

How does being suicidal work? My subjective human experience has no intrinsic value or meaning so why get upset about it?

Learn not to give a fuck.

Kys

kys

i think about suicide every second of my life

I have felt that exact feel for 90% of my life

It's no big deal and you're not special mayne

I don't know, I was becoming more and more anxious about going there, so I stopped almost completely, like that guy from Welcome to NHK. I've managed to pass everything without attendance though, I hope I'll get a degree this time. It's just pretty difficult to do alone tbqh not having college buddies and stuff.

You don't feel any special when you've been browsing the internet for half your life.

You can think LOGICALLY whatever you want, you feel like that anyway, logic doesn't work here.

I am getting tired of being an adult virgin.

i've tried to kill myself eight times this year alone

Same guy still. Holy shit bro I know that feel. We are literally in the same boat my friend

let's do our best then

Best of luck user.

I legitimately am confused. I am in my mid 20s and do OK in class, I can't show up to lectures dues to anxiety but I make do. I am on holiday now and it has been 3 weeks and I literally have not spoke more then 50 words (to the bus driver and shop keepers). My throat literally gets blocked because I don't use my throat enough in conversation to naturally clear it. I live alone and spend 6 days a week inside (one day I got shops to buy groceries for the week). I have no contacts on phone aside from my parents. I live a healthy lifestyle in terms of diet, but I am too poor to go out and do recreational activities.

What is so awful about me that I deserve this fate user?

How did you fail eight attempts?

I love you all
also know that feel

>What is so awful about me that I deserve this fate user?
You probably don't do anything to change your life. Just like me.

Pretty good mate, thanks for asking
I¨ve got a cold tho', so my physical health could be better at the moment

The absolute state of Swedistan
Hold ud knægt, det skal nok gå alt sammen.

This mental illness literally consumed my youth, I look like a young adult and I have 19.

Didn't have family support on this issue unlike my older brother, he looks younger than me.

My father and mother were the Asian tiger mother kind, though.

The only good memories of my childhood are related to Bob Squarepants and TV.

I'm at the point where I lie to everyone including myself to avoid to face reality, I've became pretty good at it

Up and down on an upword trajectory.
My latest mistake was choosing to take a break this summer.
Working keeps me in a much better mindset.

To everyone who's having issues with depression, anxiety and procrastination:

Look up "microdosing" (psilos or LSD), there's a whole subreddit dedicated to it, and loads of other sources.

It completely changed my life without making me feel like I had to take drastic measures to achieve this. I went from loser to achiever without feeling like a different person, it felt completely natural.

Please, just ignore therapy and SSRIs. Look up microdosing, do your research and give it a shot.

I am in perfect mental health, not counting minor narcissism. What makes you so fucked up?

>>>/reddit/

Yeah I was 19 once too user. Here is some news for you:

If you fix your "mental issues" with hallucinogens, you probably never really had any in the first place.

Hard to justify I know, it means you really were lazy!

Find a club or something that involves something you're interested. I go through similar droughts of not speaking to people, it sucks.

I suffer panic attacks or something like that, consisting on getting tachycardia and thinking I'll have a cardiac arrest, or the feeling that I'll have a stroke or something like that in my brain.

Had them at the start and mid of the year, but they had been gone up until a week ago, when they returned in full motion.

It's shit. I don't think I can control them much, and to do so requires a lot from my part. I may get like that in any circumstance of my daily life and it's a pain in the ass to have to stop working or leaving class to calm down.

I have an exam at 9 am. I went to sleep at 00 to then wake up at 7.30 and be there well-rest. It's 6 am and have been struggling with this shit all night. I feel like I'm sabotaging myself. I can't live like this, feeling constantly in alarm and fearing I'll die

No offence user, but this advice is past expiry for me. I am too bitter to join a club.

I tried St. John's wart and it improved my mood a little but didn't end up solving my mental problems
therapy's probably the best solution

kill yourself fucking scumbag

mean

> a pain in the ass to have to stop working or leaving class to calm down.
and then you start worrying even more, I know that feel.
You better visit a doctor, I believe, and tell him all that.

That isn't "news". Your unsubstantiated doubts do not negate the thousands of positive real-world user experiences, including clinical studies that showed an unprecedented positive effect even in patients with chronic depression.

St. John's Wart does not produce significant effects. Here, have a look at this:

theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/13/magic-mushrooms-reboot-brain-in-depressed-people-study
theguardian.com/science/2016/may/17/magic-mushrooms-lift-severe-depression-in-clinical-trial

These studies were done on the basis of macrodosing, but microdosing continously (tiny non-hallucinogenic doses every 4 - 5 days) seems the way to go.

Do some research. Read what other users and professionals have to say on this, and then try it out for yourself.

Im diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, didnt sleep well this night cause voices were too loud, at least this time werent telling me to kill my mom and then myself. Also I nearly killed myself in July and spent all summer locked for the fifth time in asylum, but hey, I know, depression sucks too

Are you at least able to get bux?

>lie in bed in the evening
>brain gets flooded with thoughts of suicide
>that little voice that keeps yelling "you are worthless"
>that part of your brain that keeps rewinging all your failiures
>watching everyone around you making friendships, finding love, and slowly realizing you are simply incompatible with other humans

Do any of you fags go to psychiatrist? I feel like it would be pointless, he couldn't tell me anything i already don't know (start doing sports, stop smoking and taking drugs, spend more time around people etc.)

Can't even imagine what is it like to live with all the voices.
I mean, your depressed brain can get pretty horrible in its attempts to logically prove to itself that you deserve to die, but uncontrollable voices are on another level.

A competent psychiatrist doesn't do that shit. If your condition is obviously not normal and you got such response, you went to a wrong doctor (or incompetent piece of shit).

Yeah and I work too, I am good at pretending that there is nothing wrong with

I get depressed sometimes but there's no approved medical treatment for my core issues.

But what if my sadness is normal, and i am just too much of a pussy to deal with it?

I went to many psychiatrists and therapies, first time when I was 12 when I got sick and was locked in my 1st psych ward, that was 18 years ago.

I am pretty much completely content, my only real worry is that I have already hit my peak and I will never be as happy as I was in school

I don't know, that's exactly the reason I'm afraid to see a doctor.

All my friends think i am the contantly optimistic happy guy that always makes jokes and is always smiling meanwhile i think about suicide ten times a day. Thats the worst thing about this, i got so good at hiding it that nobody will ever help me.

people won't help if you don't hide it either
they'll just spout the same old shit

And whats wrong with you?
With me, its all about nogf. It feels so fucking dumb to have suicidal thoughts because of that, but realizing that i will live my whole life and die alone makes me rather want to end it now.

Talk with someone, get help, I would rot in some gutter now if I had no therapy at all

Its not easy walking up to someone and saying "i am sad, help me". Its about the most desperate thing one can do, and im not ready to be that desperate

Yeah I guess, I got used to it after 18 years, first time is a bitch

I used to think about suicide a lot, but recently I've had a dream about killing myself and it was horrible. Now I still want to kill myself, but too scared to do that.

I have a qt gf of seven years who loves me unconditionally (zero friends though) and study at the best uni around, which makes my persistent near-suicidal thoughts and wasting time on 4ch even more stupid and perplexing. I don't see her often though and prefer sitting home for days and weeks.
nogf is easier to understand, I guess.

And how did you do it the first time? Just called the psychiatrist?

Wrong board lads
good luck and its okay to ask for help in life. you will fail at first but everything will be daijoubu

No, my mom dragged me there when I was 12, I didnt wanna cooperate so they locked me in psych ward, drugged me and then I started talking

That's not nice. I haven't asked for it

Yeah, it's like that. When in a situation similar to one in which something like this occured, I'll be expecting it to happen again and so on

I've been told to visit a psychiatrist by doctors since they are the ones that can prescribe me pills to call me down, but I don't want to get dependant on that shit and be sedated all day long.

You are missing out on benzos