Why did they walk all the way through mordor without shoes? could they not afford the shires sales tax on footwear?

why did they walk all the way through mordor without shoes? could they not afford the shires sales tax on footwear?

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There is no footcare policy enforced in Middle Earth.

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I claim this as the new Tolkienverse discussion general

>be me
>be very dark and pretty boring
>be hanging around with my bros
>dad says we are going to create a world by singing
>neat, I love singing
>singing starts, throw my sick jams
>everyone gets angry over it and say they are ugly
>fuck you guys I liek my jams
>dad kicks me out of the band wtf
>leave home and be emo about it singing by myself
>meet this big ass spider and hang around because at least she is some kind of company
>hear everyone talking about those amazing gems and want to see them too but I am banned
>friendly spider says will help me sneak in to have a look
>get in, turns out big spider is crazy bitch, kills the Two Trees and wants to eat the Silmarils
>wtf I didnt want this
>grab silmaris and run away, bitch spider chases me around
>manage to save 3 of them
>everyone thinks I stole them
>everyone hates me
>want to kill self but cant because immortal
>fuck this gay earth
>fuck everyone
>I just wanted to jam with my bros

OUTTA MY WAY, TELERIAN FUCKIN SHITS

Hobbits have very tough leathery feet. They don't need shoes.

What does hobbit pussy taste like?

>kinslaying
woorld staar

Denethor of Gondor did not grant enough subsidies to Gondorian footwear industry and the taxation of textiles and related products was so heavy, not to mention the export fees, that relatively few garments made their way into Shire.
This however was reversed under the rule of Elessar who granted proper subsidies to textile industry exports and as a result somewhere during the early 4th age the first shoes were spotted within the borders of Shire.

is this really what happened why didn't eru tell them it wanst him wtf i love melkor now

potato and ale probably

bombadil had a hard life

So whatever happened to this fat old cunt?

damn, Durin the Enduring had a rough childhood

>Durin the Enduring

How did Martin get away with this?

Sam saved him, didnt you watch the movie?

>How did Martin get away with this?

the rich and famous get away with all kind of shit
plus rule of cool

lets not forget:
Sauronman, the lovechild of Sauron and Saruman

Sam, backwards Mas, "massah"

and all the Dwarves in Hobbits were copypasted from Edda and Gandalfr thrown in too because Tolkien felt lazy.

>this guy has the audacity to judge tolkien over his worldbuilding regarding fucking taxes

LOTR map is bretty gud

anyone got a first age map?

He licks Tolkien's balls every chance he gets, don't believe a garbage reddit meme from a stupid quote.

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FAT FUCKING HACK HANG YOURSELF

any map with the Helcaraxe or whatever the icebridge between Beleriand and Valinor was called?

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Nah, he even judged Tolkien about not describing war accurately

Thats right, a Vietnam draf-dodger criticized a Battle of the Somme veterans take on war because it didnt have any rape in it

He doesnt get Tolkiens angle in his stories, he is just an edgy fatslob with very mediocre writting skills

What does Gondorian taxation on mass production have to do with Shire's hand crafted footwear?
Those fucking Took's and their jew antics.

No idea about the accuracy of these maps.

First for Eyefu

>build a HUUGE ass world
>delet it just to progress the story
>maek new one

The balls on this fucking guy

Also it makes me sad that there are not even ruins of Vinyamar and Gondolin

>tfw the gods arent allowed to go to middle earth anymore cause last time they went they broke the coffee table

Again, a stupid baneposting attempt born at reddit.

The fatfuck ripped tolkien off, he says so himself. He might even think he's better than the real thing, but by no means he hates the man, nothing even implies so.

Canon map coming through

FAKE
A
K
E

>baneposting
I don't think you know what baneposting is, user.
Not that I necessarily disagree with you, just really curious how you saw user's post as anything resembling baneposting.

>dank land

>He might even think he's better than the real thing, but by no means he hates the man

Yeah, I am not arguing

>Fake
>Original sketch

[citation needed]

I thought the two lamps were in Valinor?

Alternative facts, my friend

tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Ambarkanta_maps

It is original sketch, published by his son

Tolkien said that his mythology was about our world

No, middle earth. The two trees are in Vailnor

They're strong and indepedent hobbits they need no shoes!

Were the two trees created at the same time as the Lamps or did they come after?

Were they separate light sources for Middle earth and Valinor, or did the Lamps shine everywhere?

The trees only required going to a zoning office to get a permit for planting the trees, and then paying the tax.
The lamps required going to a zoning office, getting a permit for constructing the lamps, and contracting an electric company to hook them in, and then paying a tax, and the fees for the installers.
The lamps took a lot longer.

I can't remember which was mentioned first in the Silmarillion. I think the Lamps came first. The lamps were a source of light for all Arda

How the FUCK did the Valar get planning permission to build those huge fucking lamps? It obstructs so much and causes excessive light pollution

Jewalar mind tricks.
And bribes.

Yes, but couldn't the Valar ask for a tax write off at the end of the year since it served a humanitarian purpose?

Also did the valar add an insurance policy to both the Trees and lamps?

lamps first
then trees
then sun and moon

why didn't the eagles just poop on sauron's face to distract him?

just imagine the job interview they held for the position of "sun"
I wonder what kind of pay you get for shining 8-16 hours a day, with no vacation ever.
or did they manage to find a "volunteer" to up there?

Who /MORTAL MAN/ here?

youtube.com/watch?v=MStoUfrsCig

/BLIND GUARDIAN/ checking in

is this gollum?

based

She did it for free

Stop sucking dick any day.

This is how Tolkien poetry sounds:
youtube.com/watch?v=Z0Zp3dwBf_0

>tfw will never be a smug elf.

Shoes are made from hobbit feet

>Stop sucking dick any day.
Faggot.

hobbits have hair on the bottom of their feet that act like shoes.

>You will never suck on a sweaty hobbitesses feet

Why live?

>You will never floss with your wife's foothair