Things you will never hear a black person say

Things you will never hear a black person say

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>Hi dad

"I love my skin color"

>i admit it, it was me.

He did sumfin

>He did somethin!

I'm white

I'm white

kek

>You know, I think I'll leave a nice tip for our waiter.

>I prefer cantaloupe

Hi son

lets build a wall and kick out the mexicans

bro

I can't stand fried chicken and malt liquor.

I need a job

No that fried chicken buffet is too cheap.

fpbp

I have a receipt for this bicycle officer.

Oh man, I sure am glad white people invented HOSPITALS because I need to use them all the time and I would literally die without them!

Hold on, let me get a condom on first.

...

beat me to it


>I can't go out drinking tonight, I have to tuck my son in and read him a bedtime story

I heard a funny joke at work today, it goes...

>I'm responsible for the way my life has turned out.

I'm married to the President of the United States... oh wait

I have good credit

What a rough day at the office! I sure am glad to be at the home that I own with my loving wife and non-bastard children!

i guess youve never heard of argentina

This is a very well written novel.

I want a job

Happy Father's Day!

Ask.

"No way would I ever disrespect a white guy by fucking his girlfriend or wife."

beat me to it

Soft Cell, that's my shit.

Anyone seen my work boots?

"yo i ain't got no criminal record!"

I heard you have an opening, I would like to apply.

I learned that word by reading it in the dictionary

I think hip hop is degenerate, I prefer country and western myself.

>"honey I'm home"

>nigga

Check, please!

Underrated

Don't take that money its not right.

I don't want to depend on government for a living

Big Mike brown was a violent criminal who deserved what he got

"Yes sir, officer. I will comply with your orders, for I do not want to die."

>he doesn't know about Pastor Manning

...

>Oh no, I'm late for work!

I can't wait to vote for the God Emperor

>"Hey Dad!"
>"Thanks for the warning, Officer."

Yes, you can help me, I'm looking for a belt.

This tastes very delicious.

I love my son.

>The ancient Egyptians were similar appearance-wise and genetically to modern day Egyptians.

lol I read that as "yo dis shit TIGHT nigga"

>hey boss, i've been working real hard, and i appreciate all you've done to make me feel part of the company
>my son has a spelling bee this Friday and I was wondering if I can take some time off in the afternoon to go cheer him on with my wife
>every boy needs positive reinforcement and encouragement from his mom and dad, don't you agree?

i'm white

"I'm here to volunteer for free"

A LOT of blacks in Atlanta work for "non profits" but they actually get paid good money for what I'm used to volunteering for free. Then they have this air of "i'm great because I work for a non profit," while without such a "job" they'd be working at McDonald for min wage. It's disgusting.

Hi dad

Thank you

"man the craziest thing happened at work the other day!"

>I really need a job

Lost.

You live in Atlanta? Poor user...the toilet of the south.

ayo hol up where dat job application at

> I'm glad I'm black

I remember when I went to Atlanta. As a white guy, it was the first time I ever felt like a minority in my life. So many darkies.

>Tfw succesful and not pitch black dark ugly or white tiny dick cuck but nice and mulatto with nice white qualities as well as big nigga dick and get along with both sides.

Truly this is the way to live

I'm sure grateful to be able to live in this great society, which is the product of thousands of years of cumulative effort on the part of people of primarily European descent.

We wuz nothing but spear chuckers and Mud Hut lovers.

I know some nigs who hate spics and could easily say this, though they would more likely say kill rather than kick out.

I used to do some charity work when I lived in Chicago.
>neighborhood is 90% white
>but 40% of neighborhood people needing assistance are black
>get called racist because all the volunteers are white

I diddu sumfin

I'm saving money

My sides.

who tf reads the dictionary. baka @ u white """people"""

1. Thank You (for anything)
2. I Think
3. Thank you for bringing us over here from Africa, you have made our lives so much better.

I play tennis and golf with my co workers

My dad and I play badminton on the weekends once he is off of work from his job.

I have a GREAT credit score!

whew! today was a rough day at work!

Shh! The movie's about to start!

Quinoa


Cyber bullying is real and we need to have a conversation.


My mom is okay with my gender fluidity.

We was not Kangs

RARE

"hello sir how are you"
as opposed to dafuk 'tchu doo mofugga'

youtube.com/watch?v=NPDdhd38eoU

hows your first week on Sup Forums?

Let's build a wall and kick out the mexicans
>that flag
>that post

nix bood

It's my turn to use the shower!

Please, thank you, normal english

Would you like veganaise with your kale salad?

AYO WHERE ALL DA BLACK WIMIN AT?

Obama's foreign policy is detrimental to the current global state of affairs

I hope none of my uncles or aunts nag at me during the upcoming family reunion.