You must take the last R-rated movie you watched and make a family-friendly Saturday morning cartoon version/spinoff...

You must take the last R-rated movie you watched and make a family-friendly Saturday morning cartoon version/spinoff out of it. How does it go?

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More memes, less anal penetration.

Next?

>Crank
chelios has recurring attacks from the lingering poison and must regularly seek thrills to stay alive. Cue jumpscares and theme park rides that inevitably go wrong. Occasional gag about waiting in a line

HOT DOG!

>The Raid
Well fuck idk

Are you kidding? GI Joe, set in somewhere not America.

Oh yes, nigger.

...Is that black?

>those trips
Missed opportunity.

>The Voices

Instead of murder Ryan Reynolds gets involved in goofy hijinx setup by his cat and each episode ends with him blaming it on Mr.Whiskers and everyone laughing. End credits music is Sing a Happy Song.

>The Lost Boys

Follow the Frog brothers as the fight the forces of Vampiric Evil with their friendly vampire buddy Michael! But watch out, the leader of the Vampire gang, David, is up to all kinds of tricks!

All vampire death is handled with poofs, bloodsucking is offscreen.

Beta character with mental health issues whines about his job constantly and talks to himself. Would make for a pretty painful series. The boss' son might pick it up a bit as he did in the movie but it's still going to be a very /r9k/ cartoon. Great film, but would make a shit series regardless of the medium.

>Shakespeare in Love

A fun romp through Elizabethan England as the playhouse struggles to stay afloat. I'm imagining some fun side characters and farcical humor.

If they made it more of a shoujo style romance that might work even better.

>Lethal Weapon

No swears, more dog biscuits.

Oh also, all guns now shoot lazers.

>Friday The 13th Part 4
Scooby Doo-esque horror/mystery anthology (with Tommy Jarvis and his family as the only reoccurring MC's) about various groups of basically anyone from the standard dipshit teenagers to inept tourists, crashing at the abandoned Camp Blood, and getting tangled up into all kinds of weird bullshit supernatural shenanigans like The Twilight Zone, only with lamer/outright subversive "lessons" (think "Freddy's Nightmares" for reference). Some would involve spooky mysteries among the cast and hijinks following in typical "campfire ghost story" cliches, others would involve Jason himself - at least maybe to a limited extent - where he'd usually just scare them away.

And as for how it'd slide as "family friendly"; it'd be "edgy" in the safer, tongue-in-cheek sort of way (nerfed swearing like "heck" and "darn", the rebellious kids would generally be depicted as arrogant/"in the wrong" about whatever opinions they've got that's driving the plot forwards), and it'd exaggerate the hell out of cartoon physics.

Fuck. If only I saw Part 1 or 2 last, Crazy Ralph could've been one of the main/secondary characters. That cartoon could've written itself.

>Event Horizon
Episode One
Rescue team goes out and finds the event horizon
Crew not allowed to use the drive
They try to get it back to earth so they can use the good parts of the ship and find out what happened to the crew that "disappeared"
On the way home someone is about to fly into the sun and they can't just leave them because they're a rescue crew who live to help
They attach the people onto the event horizon to try to pull them away but the sun's gravity is to strong so they activate the gateway so they can teleport and they save the day

rest of the season is the new crew of the Event Horizon exploring saving people in space and trying not to use the gateway
Slowly through out the season crew members have outbursts of anger until the crew figures out it was wherever the event horizon first went
They go to this hell like place and find the old crew who are all very angry and screaming and fighting with each other
The crew of the event horizon finds out that an angry space kid is causing all the problems and they resolve his issues and rescue the first crew
They all go home until next season

The show when not dealing with the Event Horizon movie plotline is essential Star Trek

Already been done

Wait
There was a cartoon of this?
I had like 15 of these toys.
I thought they were based on comics

The Hateful Eight

welp I'm fucked... making it family-friendly could maybe work, with a LOT of toning down, but the concept doesn't work for an episodic series at all

>Bad Lieutenant

I've got nothing.

>Deadpool Saturday morning cartoon
Ultimate Spider-Man, except it involves different Marvel hero team-ups while also having a bit of a storyline that stays true to Deadpool's serious tone.

Think it never actually got off the ground, they did a treatment for it which is where those shots are from, but the execs didn't bite on greenlighting it.

Me too user.
youtube.com/watch?v=eliQEStzhu4

there was GOING to be a cartoon but it got canned before it aired. however the toyline was still released

the show was shitcanned but the toys were still made. so if you ever wondered where shit like the "Crab Alien" can from, it was going to be explained in the TV show

>This is the End

While stuck in Jame's Franco's house Jay and Seth Rogen try to repair their failing friendship, while a possessed Jonah Hill does his damndest to break them apart, and generally tries to make strife between the guys.

The apocalypse will be mentioned, but not delved into very much.
Seth Rogen's demon dog will make regular appearances as a lovable scamp, always munching on a (human) bone of some sort.

Emma Watson will make periodic appearances with her fireman axe (mostly just to have another toy to sell, and draw in some female audience members).

>Drive
The Driver zooming around having family-friendly adventures in autism? Could be cool.

>Moon

Sam Rockwell and his goofy partner Marginally Older Sam Rockwell solve moon mysteries with their robot sidekick, Hanna Barbara style.

I guess you could give it a more adventure like spin, with main character constantly fleeing the taliban police while trying to reach Kandahar to save her sister, and helping people she encounters.
You would probably need to remove things like children robbing corpses and all references to explosive toys.

>Inland Empire
Well, fuck. I have no idea.

>Ruthless People

Basically the same premise, but every week Danny DeVito's character has to do something new and wacky for the kidnappers in an attempt to get his wife back. Meanwhile, Bette Midler tries to get Helen Slater's fashion line started up, while still having to pretend she's still kidnapped.

Keep the two dogs as comic relief.

I loved this cartoon as a kid. I believe it even had an ending but fuck me I can't remember what happened at the very last episode.

>it's a "Bender was raped in the slammer after getting arrested for drug dealing" episode.

>Keanu
I have a feeling that it'd end up like a Black Garfield kinda vibe. Maybe have the cat refer to movies as a gag. I mean, we already have a Jon. Just...we can't use the n word. Or any bad word. And we can't mention the drugs. Or the severed dicks.

I'd also probably expect something about a whole cast of maybe-talking animals and how they play in movies.

>Tombstone
I'm your Huckleberry Hound

Thanks guys. I'm using this as a recommendation thread as it's travelling better than other boards' attempts.

I can't even remember what the last movie I saw was.

>Drive Angry
Make protagonists more kid-friendly, tone down Jonah King's evilness and it's doable.
It's be kind of like M.A.S.K with supernatural elements.

>Hardcore Henry

Less blood, more offscreen death, less naked women, less cutting heads off, more 'EZ'

>V for Vendetta
So, Saturday Morning Watchmen basically, except V's assassinations are him just "bringing people to justice" in a monster-of-the-week sort of set up.

>Evil Dead 2
Ash has a chainsaw arm but never uses it, and the boomstick fires lasers. You could probably take elements from the Regeneration video game and AvED, but dumb them down. Sam would be his sidekick and the villain from AvED could still maintain their position. Ash would basically be like Venkman from the Real Ghostbusters, and deadites would be a monster of the week affair.

>Die Hard

>John McClane is stuck in a tower. Every episode involves him trying to make contact with someone outside so he can get home. He also has to avoid the Goofy Hans Gruber and his gang of goons.

>John makes traps and does other slap stick humor to mock the gang, similar to Will E. Coyotote and Home Alone in their antics. Having criminals step on nails, and trip over wires setting off explosions.The gang members and Hans brush it off like it's nothing, simply wiping their face of the ash.

>Last episodes ends with santa landing on the roof and giving out presents to everyone, making Hans have a change of heart and let everyone go. Santa offers John a sleigh ride, but he is afraid of flying, Santa winks and John gets on and flies off into the full moon.

In the series finale, Jason would be redeemed with the power of love and he would walk off with his mother to the afterlife

oh geeze, The Godfather was the last one I saw, now that would take some effort to translate into a kids cartoon and not be completely awful, maybe hand it over to Greg Weisman, he'd probably be able to do something good with it

Deadpool would be easy, just have all the bad guys use robots and he can be just as violent as normal for the most part

could just have it be set in Army of Darkness' setting, then you could use the boomstick and chainsaw as is, cause most AoD Deadites are decayed enough to bypass the censors for that sort of thing

I think it was this probably, I imagine it wouldn't be that different from Freakazoid

>the cat talks
>Key and Peele solve mysteries with the cat

Green Room. Um...uh...Fuck.

>Hardcore Henry

Rename it Call of Duty

The Rambo cartoon was my first exposure to the character. Then I watch the movie... Now I love the Rambo movies but I was shocking to see a idealized father figure / cool big brother as a sad broken man killing everything in front of him

Aw, that's disappointing
I still have the marine in "alien king armor" somewhere.

Already done

See epiosde 27 avengers disc wars

Naughty grampa(DeNiro one, not the Jackass one).

Basically Mr. Magoo.

>Apocalypse now

I don't even have the faintest idea how this would work, maybe have Willard chasing around wily Colonel Kurtz with his good old friends in the PBR?

the whole facehugger/chestburster thing can't even be shown seriously on a cartoon, how would this have worked?

scooby doo crossover when

>Berserk Golden Age Arc part 3
um. i guess remove all the gore, and the nudity and the Torture, and The Rape. the eclipse doesnt happen, griffith was not captured. and the band of the hawk live happily as knights of midland.

This could be interesting

>two women who grew up together and start banging the other's teenage son

This is fucking impossible.

Just don't show it.
We see eggs. We see facehuggers (but NEVER their underside). And we see babby aliens. If we see cocooned things, they're hunched over, but with no visible damage.

Think Mighty Max levels of intensity.

>mfw it's The Room

Well, fuck.

>A Serbian Film
Oh no

>Mad Max
>Max doesn't kill people
>People are run over off screen
>Sexual imagery is toned down
>Guys blow up rather than dying gruesome deaths

>Ex Machina

Caleb's eccentric boss Nathan has him test his AI Ava in new and wacky ways each week. Ava is constantly scheming to escape, so Caleb has to outwit her each week to keep his job.

>Hardcore Henry
Eh, probably just something like the 80s Rambo and Robocop cartoons, but told from first-person.

Sabotage

ARNOLD leads a team of goofy teens who teach kids not to use drugs.

youtube.com/watch?v=8XoRGgpF2qc

It goes great. Just take out the sex jokes and the bare breasts and you've got a bunch of young women and a greaser gang running a "cool" gas station across the street from a grumpy old man named "Mr. Friendly."

>John Wick

MIB cartoon, but with John Wick and robots instead. TMNT got away with the robot violence thing, so can him.

>Sling Blade

Could work pretty good mmm hmm.

Oh dear...

In my defense, it's because I've been playing the game and was feeling nostalgic about watching this shitfest again.

>Give an aesthetic based more on the games(original and 2016)
>Doomguy has a little Cacodemon sidekick and some children friends
>Villain lead is a villainous, mutated UAC board member with a dedicated team of demon confidants that are each a different enemy type from the game and a pet Pinky.
>Theme song's chorus is "RIP AND TEAR. RIP AND TEAR THEIR HUGE GUTS! RIP AND TEAR!"
>Every episode ends with a PSA
Guns always just kind of fire around the villains and they run away