Spider-Man #4 Storytime

time for some goldballs

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This conversation is going in a weird direction

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Fin

Oh boy its another
MILES IS BLACK! AND HISPANIC! LETS TALK ABOUT HOW BLACK AND HISPANIC HE IS!
WEW!

They can't even treat him like a normal person, he's just an SJW lab rat

~Oh look how cute that little negro boy is!~
Fucking savages.

>We have reached the point where Ganke has devolved into a cunt
Truly, this is the darkest timeline

christ

>Sorrt Mr. Parker
I forget, does Miles know in this universe now?

Boy that was uneventful and boring.

So typical Miles issue.

also, Ganke a shit

>Hydrox? Hydra!

Why is this child allowed to fight crime?

Also wait, he and everyone he loves were kidnapped by Hydra when he told Ultimate Kate Bishop his identity, right? Did that not happen? Did Bendis forget about that?

Also Hydrox was out of production from 1999-2015. That's Miles's entire life. How has he even heard of it?

Theres that trademark Bendis page

I admit, I sorta blocked out most of Bendis's X-Men, but weren't Cyclops's team basically terrorists?

This whole issue was just two scenes.
That's appalling

Thats right, put the black kid in chains Bendis

I usually like this book but I agree with this

What happened to him after Secret Wars?

They didn't actually do anything terroristic, though. All that happened was that the Avgengers tried to arrest them and Time Shiela froze them in time for a while and they left.

Actually, that's the only thing they actually did in the entire run. The rest of it was just talking about what the "mutant revolution" was supposed to be and nobody's powers working until they did.

When off into the woods to go spend his immortal life fucking MJ. Died when his universe blew up in the incursions, no word on if Reed got around to restoring Earth-1610 yet.

>miles gets blown off a building by rockets
>slams into the top of a bus
>captured by Hammerhead
>still feels like fucking nothing happened
How does Bendis do it

That drama at the start feels fake and unnecessary, the action scene is embarrassingly boring.

And this is why people pirate this shit.

Because all of that is stuffed on the last three pages, and there are twelve pages in the comic that are just talking heads. Granted, it gives characterization, but it's telling, not showing. Five of the other pages are swinging and running from missiles, which is action and stuff, but it doesn't actually drive the story in any way or create characterization.

The only real "events" in this comic that actually matter from here on are Goldballs deciding to room with Miles and Miles being abducted by Hammerhead. So two things happened. The rest is just petty squabbling.

There's a reason there aren't many fat superheroes Ganke

Ganke is a terrible friend

>Miles confirmed to have a crush on Kamala
Surprised nobody is commenting on this

because its just Ganke projecting

How does Bendis manage to sound so racist when he clearly isn't if you look at him in RL?

Everyone knows bendis wants his donut steel to go full haram on her immigrant snatch

It loops around. Have you never seen someone try to be so non-racist that they just end up saying racist shit? It happens all the time

Because Bendis.

And it seems like it's more Ganke being jealous of her. Because you know if he probably already has at least two people in his life he can talk to about his super identity, Ms Marvel, Nova and probably Bombshell

You sound pretty triggered

Hydrox stopped existing? I just thought they stopped shipping it to where I was. You're making me sad user.

I don't think Bendis ever had friends. He might have been Ganke, but worse.

Not particularly. Bendis is my only real exposure to that scenario.

It came back last year.

Not to defend Bendis of course but to be fair my friends and I have talked about things such as who has it harder in life every once in a while. What they are discussing is pretty realistic if you ask me. It doesn't excuse how boring this issue was though.

I have I remember my friends mom asked me if it was ok for white people to call black people black and would I rather be referred to as African American. I knew she meant well.

That's because Kamala is CUTE!

It's basically Horseshoe Theory at work. Not saying Bendis is a bad guy but just something to point out.

nice cover

The cover lied, I didn't see Will O' the Wisp this issue laughing at how Venom Blast won't work on him

That sixth panel has potential as a reaction image

I remember this mission

>Implying it won't

This is brought up a lot in the book. And don't forget about all the black/latino stereotypes for miles' parents/grandma

Where the hell did Hammerhead get military-grade heat-seeking missiles?

>where does it come from
>where does it go
>where does it come from
>cotton-eye Joe

Black Cat paid for it of course.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GANKE?!

You got Bendised!

Ganke, you dumb fucking cunt. You're supposed to be smarter than this. Don't you know what'll happen if it gets out who Black Spider-Man really is? First thing, they try to kill him. If they fail at that, they'll go after his friends and family, and you're the fucker's only friend.
If not to do it because of the bro code, do it out of sheer self-preservation.

bump

>Which spider-man are you suppose to be
>The good one
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Really is this really going there

thank god he doesn't know faith exists

So the ultimate Ganke was the good one and the 616 one is the asshole. Poetry.

If you give up your best friends identity it better be to get laid by a smoken hot chick. Not to befriends with gold balls

We still haven't seen JJJ's reaction to Miles, have we?

That last image looks like they drew Bendis as Miles.

What the fuck happened to her art

I cringed at the change in Mile's face with number 1 and now I cringe with this "you've always been skinny". "He's empowering"...

I used to like Ganke, fuck Ganke.

Goldballs you're gay

Does Bendis have these conversations in his mind before he writes them?

Bendis is trying his hardest to make sure his X-men OC stay relevant and not forgotten like all the others that came before them. Unlike other writers though, team Bendis will prevail.

Even Ganke becomes shit. And I'm pretty far from skinny.

Yep, he definitly became shit. BRAVO BENDIS.

>In order for a "next generation of X-Men" character to remain relevant, he has to leave the X-Men
Make sense I guess

Bendis giving stupid pills to Ganke in order to move the "plot" "forward".

these issues take fucking forever to come out and its always the same HES BLACK AND HISPANIC with very little going on in the actual story or action

I have nothing against the character but Bendis needs to fucking stop writing Spider-Man

>Miles literally destroying Peter's legacy
Pottery.

I cannot WAIT for that third panel to be reblogged everywhere with maximum outrage.

>"He's not that guy."
Even Miles acknowledges the shit writing.

>Ganke genuinely believes that as a fat person, sorry I mean differently-weighted-American, he's more discriminated against than Miles

>Ganke brings up body image and weight issues (he's fat like me, that's sooo great! Being fat is worse than being black!)
>Blows his secret identity to a complete stranger while in a public place
what the shit?

>Peter's legacy
You mean Spock's.

I feel for him, Miles can probably get laid any time he wants. Meanwhile his first kiss was with a babe-tastic Gwen Stacy who now no longer exists and his spare tire gut is not going to help him lose his V-card.

>What the fuck happened to her art
I think it's because Miles has aged in universe so he's less of a round faced little kid and more "generally hard looking black teen". Same thing with Ganke. He's not cute chubby asian kid fat, he's now fat teenager fat.

The recurring adult characters still look mostly the same, like Miles' parents.

Thanks OP! I'm glad I didn't have to pay for this shit!

He dead mate.

Seconding this.

>that fucking glare

I mostly don't care for this book, but it has its moments.

>Meanwhile his first kiss was with a babe-tastic Gwen Stacy who now no longer exists
Interesting. Do the events of Secret Wars retroactivly erase his first kiss? He's a kiss virgin again.

More importantly, what happened to Mysterio? He was a prisoner in the Triskelion when that universe blew up

It's complicated but to make it short this is a 616 Ganke so probably.

>I am going to murder him dead

I'LL KILL YOU
I'LL KILL YOU TO DEATH

Can anyone give me a quick rundown on Miles? This is taking place in 616 right? Did he get trapped in our universe or somehow reborn in it? Also Miles and his friends are fucking morons for talking about him being Spider-Man openly with people around them. Also the chubby guy is gay isn't he and want Goldballs...goldballs right?