"Hey user I was wondering when you'd show up. I've already got your crab legs ready just the way you like them...

"Hey user I was wondering when you'd show up. I've already got your crab legs ready just the way you like them. You seem to like coming to the Kinoplex a lot. You sure have a lot of free time. If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for me haha. Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy your movie dude."

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=DV8yly-wFD4
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Y-you too Robert

This meme won't be funny anymore in 2018

Th-thanks, Robert-kun. You always treat me so right. Thanks again for letting me put my falcon in your office. He gets really finicky about certain kinos and it can be very hard on him. It means a lot to me.

I love you

stop it nigger, I'm married

Haha, hey what's up Robert! Anonette, this is that guy Robert I was telling you about. He's a pretty dank lad, we swap banter every now and again when I come here to see a kino. Well, catch you later Robert, me and the lady have a movie to see!

Take that back

I dunno. Robert threads are pretty comfy. I like to imagine a wacky theatre like these threads make up; penis inspections, popcorn mines, singles pits, falconry, crab legs.

It gives me a warm feeling inside but also makes me a little sad because I know it doesn't exist except in my heart.

>R-Robert...!?
>manager walks over
>Excuse me sir, what's the issue?
>"W-where's Robert?"
>quizzical look
>"H-he always get's my crab legs"
>manager clears throat
>Sir, Robert... He died 12 years ago...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>much niggers
>married
Robert, this guy is pretty much offering you his wife. I'll go fetch her for you. That is, I get a free bucket of crab legs of course?

ALRIGHT BITCHES TIME TO CHECK YOUR TICKET

>sir robert
so he really wuz a kang after all

Commas, man. Commas.

I caught some fresh crab just for you user

it wasn't funny years ago; it's an acquired taste. Sup Forums has the worst tastes in film and television but the best memes and board culture

...

a ... would have worked better

>forgetting the showers

R-Robert noooo!

;_;

but if Robert died
who was crab???

H-haha here's our tickets, sir. I think you'll find everything is in order

Thanks, Robert. Also, is Jules around today?

What was that user? I didn't catch that last part.

Botched thread. Scrap it.


Maybe next time.

...

Jules is right here

Uh, gee. Um, look at the time! I better get to my screening or the enjoyment enforcement bailiff will give me hell. Bye Robert!

And that's your opinion my man. I respect it. But that doesn't mean I have to accept it. But that does mean you have to accept this dick. I'm bending you over my coffee table and pulling your pants down. I'm lubing up your asshole and throwing out some bantz now. I'm inserting myself fully inside your anus, shoving deep into your rectum. Thrusting back and forth, in and out, grunting and sweating while you're moaning and bucking. Pretty soon I'll blow my load deep into your colon and we'll share a passionate kiss as I continue to fuck you, churning my milky cum into a sticky white froth.

C-could Jules handle my penis inspection today, R-robert?

For my money, ain't nothing will ever beat the theater experience. Just too many great feels to be had.
>taking a newly trained falcon to see a flick for the first time
>buying a medium popcorn when you're on a budget and savoring the more maneuverable wheelbarrow that comes with it
>getting picked as the designated shooter and setting a new theater record with your SKS
>the thrill of crawling through no man's land, dodging spotlights and death squads when you're single just to see the latest capeshit
>taking a qt to a kino and catching her shy but impressed gaze when you get picked for a random penis inspection

Nothing quite like it, boys!

FUCK YOU TICKET MASTER!!!

Boo! Fooled ya, user.

>Hehe user, what are you looking at?
>I bet you're hungry.
>How about a hot dog? I've got a footlong weiner with your name on it.

[pulls Jules aside] Hey Jules, need your help man. You've never met her, but my g-girlfriend coudn't make it tonight because she said she w-wasn't feeling well, and I already got my ticket... Any chance I could get in there alone? For old times' sakes?

Black woman in back
>crazy-ass crackas get so damn weird at the theatre

Just stay cool, don't provoke him

Oh, thank heavens it was but a ruse! Now Robert, my wife's vagina won't fill itself... Get in their, ya little scamp!

AHHHHHHH!

I know the whole crab legs thing is a meme, but they really are the best theater food. The local cinemark is right next to pic related and they do all you can eat crabbers on wednesdays. Here's the thing tho, once they thaw the crabs they can't refreeze them so if its not particularly busy that night they end up throwing out a good amount of perfectly fine legs. Also, most of the idiots around here have no idea how to properly clean a crab so they end up throwing away half the meat too.

So what we do is hit up the dumpster around 4 am and see what kind of goodies we get. Then we usually come back to the theater and set up shop on the side. We resteam with a coleman portable stove and then use an old popcorn tub to sneak them in through the side door that we prop open. And no, we don't leave the scraps on the floor.

Thank you Robert, you're a true blessing. Dont let these obese broke faggots bring you down.

These threads are comfy. I like the idea of a tight-knit kino community at the local theater, a bunch of guys who rib each other each weekend when they all come together to see a flick.

Hey Robert, when are the Ticket Master and the Popcorn Magician scheduled to Work this week? That way I know when to avoid the kinoplex.

W-what was that, Jules?

I got your ticket right here
*unzips dick*

I'm sorry whiteboi, please place your hands behind your head, the police have already been called. I'm afraid this means a life sentence in the popcorn mines, and that's if you're lucky honky.

is this postmemerism?

Thanks mate, you always know how to cheer me up.

Surprise fuckass! We are inescapable!

Sorry our usual cashier couldn't make it-he is busy

Hey big guy, here's some popcorn for you.

>Heading to the showers with my crab legs.
>Suddenly, Lane blocks the path.
>"Hi user! That's a big bucket you got here"
>"F-for you"
>"You've been selected for a random penis inspection"
>"B-but the movie is about to start"
>"It won't takes long user and I don't want to have to call Robert..."
>"O-Ok"
pantsdropped.jpeg
>Lane start giggling and poking it with a stick.
>"What a dirty little cock user! Be sure to wash it properly before leaving the showers"
Then she takes a picture with her phone.
>"Don't worry it's for the archives and...Oh Jules! Come here you have to see that!"
>Oh no! Not this faggot.
>"Hello Bae what's up? Hey dude nice cock you got here"
They both start laughing their asses off.
>"Alright you can proceed to the showers user and Jules I see you after my shift"
>"I can't wait to destroy dat pussy like Ridley Scott destroyed the Alien franchise" says Jules while grabbing Lane's boobs.
>"You so funny baby.You still here user?Hurry up!"
>"Y-you too"
As I'm watching the commercials, my dick is displayed on the screen while I hear Robert laughing from the projection room.Run away from the kinoplex crying while people throw crab legs at me.

Maybe I could be your girlfriend tonight, user?

Yeah, don't mix your dead meme with comfy Robert threads.

You will die a peasant's death

If I take the bage, will you die?

The Kinoplex. TV's newest sitcom about Jules, an awkward young man trying to win the love of his co-worker, Lane. All the while the manager, Robert mentors Jules and tries to keep the theatre in order as the characters get into wacky but relatable hijinks. Sup Forums will also be a recurring character as a condescending and needy moviegoer with a strange codependent friendship with Robert.

Theme Song: youtube.com/watch?v=DV8yly-wFD4

Tell me about Robert.Why does he sell the crab legs?.A lot of loyalty for a hired kinoplex employee.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

. This.

I dare anyone to name a more chronically relevant meme than abne

Just fill up the bucket
Baka

>tfw you're caught evading the mandatory penis inspection.

She looks Finnish.

Would hold hands with

That doesn't sound like Jules at all.

Oh it's you, sir. Here alone? ...again?

I humbly beg your pardon if I am overstepping my bounds. I don't mean to insult nor do I mean to pry, but don't you get lonely? I see many people walk through these halls day after day but none have so interested me as you do. You avert your gaze to the floor under my attention as if embarrassed or ashamed to inhabit a human body. You stutter and mumble as if this routine transaction is a strenuous ordeal. I see a pain in your countenance sir, you try to hide it under a stoic demeanor, but it is as clear to me as day. What has you in such a state sir? Why does the contentedness that others find so naturally elude you? Who made you like this?

I...I'm sorry if what I said was out of line sir. Enjoy the movie...

I'm genuinely hyped for the Popcorn Magician's redemption arc. The Robert fighting to pass the no no singles policy bill in supreme court A plot is getting pretty boring desu.

>tfw your gf is caught on her phone at a kino and you just have to shut your mouth and watch as she's dragged off to the bullpen

Jules is clearly an alpha male.You're just jealous.

Oh hey user, I was just watching some quality kino with my wife on my day off. Didn't think I'd run into you. I'll be quiet now because I know how much you don't like people talking during movies.

>As I'm watching the commercials, my dick is displayed on the screen while I hear Robert laughing from the projection room

Thanks, Robert, you're a true pal

>Lane's face when you pass the penis inspection

this shit makes me uncomfortable! Penis inspections are very important, and people like this are the reason why some kino-viewers are starting to bring fake penises on inspections. You should have went to the cinema police, they're trained to deal with problems like this

I can't believe this bullshit.

>"Oh user, is that you down there? Fancy us here at the same time. Are you perhaps enjoying this kino?"

...

>"Heeey, user."

>In vacation in Paris
>The city is boring and full of refugees so I decide to pay a visit to the local kinoplex
>A black guy is standing behind the counter.
>"Hello Monsieur.Welcome to the kineaux-habitat.My name is Ro-Bear.How can I help you?"
>It's clearly written Robert on his shirt.This guy must be fucking with me
>"A bucket of your finest crab legs and a Coke zero please"
>"Hon hon hon.You mean frog legs Monsieur"
>This crazy nigga proceeds to pour melted camembert in top of the bucket as I'm watching in terror.
>"Et voila!Le frog legs du fromage!Would you like extra snails with this Monsieur?"
>"N-no I'm fine"
>I walk away from the madman with my disgusting food and a can of diet redwine
>I take my seat directly after that because there are no showers in France.
>As the commercials begin, a guy scream allah wakbar and explode.
Fuck you France.

The Ticket Master has a shit sense of humor

I'm not going to your Cinetorium, Harold. I like Robert's Kinoplex more.

Robert I'm so lonely that it hurts to live. I honestly think I'm going to kill myself tonight. I'm afraid to go home once this viewing of Baywatch is over, because I'll be at home alone again, like every night, and i don't think i can take it anymore. I put a staple in my arm so I could feel alive, so I could feel anything. I just want someone to hold me in their arms while I cry in bed.

>"You'll be back,user. You always come back. When you do, i'll be waiting. Mmmm."

>The Robert fighting to pass the no no singles policy bill in supreme court A plot is getting pretty boring desu.
Sometimes I think that whole show was created to push creator's anti-nosingles propoganda

some of these stories would make a good concept for a brazzers video
>go to get popcorn
>Robert fucks your gf
>penis inspection
>Lane sucks you off
can't think of anything for the kino itself though

Just be yourself user

Thank you for taking my pasta and expanding with the part about Robert and user being codependent friends. That is pure kino.

>diet red wine

>At the kinoplex trying to sneak some food because crablegs are overpriced and I spent all my neetbux on rare hand spinners this month.
>"Hello user!Where are you going?"
>Oh fuck.Robert spotted me.
>"H-hi Robert.Sorry I d-didn't see you.The movie is about to start and..."
>"You don't want your crab legs bucket today?"
>"N-no thanks Robert,I'm on a diet you see and..."
>"Oh yeah I see you looks fatter than usual...Is that mayonnaise leaking from your pants?"
>fuckfuckfuck.jpeg
>"N-no it's...it's cum!I saw a cardboard cutout of Wonder Woman in the entrance you know..."
>Robert tastes it with his finger
>"Taste like mayonnaise to me user.Pull up your hoodie please."
>A roasted turkey and a bowl of mash potatoe fall on the ground.
>"I'm very disappointed user.The film industry is in a bad shape these days and directors are starving. Crab legs money help these people to survive.You know our policy.I have to ask you to follow me in my office."
>"B-but Felicia is waiting for me in the showers and...and..."
>"Your falcon is gonna be fine.Let's go now.The cavity search can take a moment"
Robert then proceed to fuck my ass for 2 hours straght.By the time he finished, the movie is over and Felicia is waiting in the car.She's really mad at me and screeches all the way home.
As I fall asleep sobbing alone on the couch, I mumble "f-fuck you Robert".

>"This..Robert character. I've heard of him. Far to much. He has risen in ranks quite quickly and without accident. He's skilled. The kinoplex has doubled in profits and construction of an extended parking lot in on the way."

>gf breaks up with me, want to go see the latest capeshit
>no one wants to go with me, theater has "no singles" policy
>only applies to males, so I borrow a dress from my sister, buy a wig, and put on some makeup
>I had just started doing SS (/fit/ here) and all the squats had led to me having a big ass
>figure I'll play up the curves, help with the deception
>get to the theater, buy my ticket, get in line
>tackled by theater guards out of nowhere
>suddenly it hits me
>it's February
>black history month
>it's MLK weekend
>they think I'm a white woman
>I'm put in the theater stocks along with every other white female 16-25, my dress is pulled up, my panties are slipped down
>everyone claps as the theater bulls walk into the room, BBCs swinging as they walk
>a cacophony of grunts, squeals, moans, ecstatic pleas for more, and the sound of black flesh mercilessly pounding against lily white buttcheeks fills the room
>in all the excitement, the bull who has prepared to mount me doesn't realize I'm a boy
>fills my ass, mistakes my cries for help as screams of pleasure
>leaves me limp, shaking, and filled with seed

Saw Deadpool that night, 8/10

Hey user! I've got your ticket right here! Say, how about you and me meet in the showers during intermission and I give you the blowjob of a lifetime? I'll even let you fuck my ass!

Ticket masters are the worst.