>“Would it kill one of these movies to have a plot that pivots on a desire or emotion...

>>“Would it kill one of these movies to have a plot that pivots on a desire or emotion, rather than earnestly deployed pseudo-techno-jargon? Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), whose approval they are both clearly jockeying for anyway? “

theguardian.com/film/2016/may/19/captain-america-civil-war-blockbuster-moviegoer-experience

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=j_5KgpN38hM
comicvine.gamespot.com/supermanbatman-78-who-would-win-a-world-of-their-o/4000-244932/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow
I'm not clicking that link, just tell me, is the author a woman?

Fighting over a woman is interesting?

Fuck that. Widow and America's pure friendship is one of the best parts of the movie,

Besides he knows his daughteru is best girl.

Chuck Bowen

Fucking nu-males.

>Would it kill one of these movies to have a plot that pivots on a desire or emotion

Probably.

>Wouldn’t Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America and Iron Man fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow
No.
No it wouldn't.

His name is Chuck Bowen.

>"Why can't these action movies loosely based on comic books be more like rom-coms?"

>his

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow
Now you triple nigger, it wouldn't! How come people like this are alowed to write anything?

Literally who wants another goddamn love triangle? Even teenage girls are sick of that shit, believe it or not they too enjoy variety.

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow

I thought it was already about Tony and Bucky fighting for Steve's attention/support?

More like Cuck Bowen

>fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow

Pretty sure the person who wrote this is also the kind of person who complains about women just being love interests

I am not even a Marvel shill, but every negative review on Civil War is just objectively wrong. Disliking it is okay, but why people are so stubborn to admit that it's a genuinely well made film? I mean, Mad Max won couple of Oscars.

Okay but Mad Max had brilliant cinematography and great practical effects, comparing yet another generic MCU blockbuster to it is farcical.

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), whose approval they are both clearly jockeying for anyway? “
Pic tragically relevant.

Also Tony has/had Pepper and Steve has/had Peggie.
Huh I just noticed those names are kind of similar, anyway the latter is made more unfortunate not just because of her death but the fact Steve could tell Sharon was attracted to him and really only gave her a pity kiss as thanks for how far she was willing to go to help him and the others.
So even if Steve learned Natasha was similarly interested he probably wouldn't act on it until they were at a point where he felt he had strung her along too far.
Which sort of happened in The Winter Soldier but she also kissed him there and moved on so they clearly have an understanding.

Teenage girl here,

Only romance I want from Marvel is a Vision and the scarlet witch movie.

Note that this isn't some lowbrow critic. This guy apparently watches arthouse films all the time.

Shit like this is quite literally why my enjoyment of film became non-existent. Because critics are fucking retarded, the entire lot of them.

Because 60% of the world thinks like him.

...

I'm sorry but I just can't condone it, I know they get together in the comics but in the MCU Vision has gone too far to be deserving of her love.
Unless and until he suffers horrifically, and he probably will when Thanos comes to collect that gem, it just doesn't sit well with me.

You gotta be at least 18-years old to post here, kid.

I'm telling your mommy on you.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=j_5KgpN38hM

>“Would it kill one of these movies to have a plot that pivots on a desire or emotion, rather than earnestly deployed pseudo-techno-jargon? Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), whose approval they are both clearly jockeying for anyway? “

>Wasn't the 1950s great?

>Whatever happened to white drinking fountains?

You're confused if you want to say feminism wrote that article

I'm liberal as shit and this is the dumbest thing I've read in a while.
And that includes the stupid shit you guys post here on a daily basis.

Sorry, no fun allowed, that'd be too comic book-ey.

How comic book-ey? Producers didn't want Scott Lang to grow bigger because they thought it'd be too risky, Russos had to fight over that.

...

No, that would absolutely be the most infantile garbage imaginable. You have world-shattering power and you use it to try and impress a girl?

Mark Millar fan detected

>>>“Would it kill one of these movies to have a plot that pivots on a desire or emotion, rather than earnestly deployed pseudo-techno-jargon?

This guy is a tool.

Steve Rogers is DESPERATE to save Bucky. Why? Because once Peggy died (an artful piece, that) Bucky is the only connection Steve has to the world of his birth. He time-traveled 60 years into the future, and he's...so lost.

Bucky gets him. Yer goddamn right Steve is gonna go to the mats for him.

This guy is a film critic, how did he miss the CORE of the movie? Was Cap being a dick 'just because'?

How European. Smart but stupid.

Wouldn't shrinking him be riskier than growing him?

It would be Black Widow the one fighting to have both.
At the same time.

>love triangle in superhero films

I already got Arrow and Flash for that.

Well of course. Vision and Scarlet witch is a ship built on constant suffering and melodrama.

My dad gave me old volumes of them. I need him crying like a bitch for her love.

>how did he miss the CORE of the movie?
You do realize that most people don't get that there are supposed to be themes in stories, right?

They went through that phase in Ant-man's movie.

Maybe Vision shouldn't have gone full retard if he really loved his waifu.

>
>Because 60% of the world thinks like him.

Then let those dumb fucks make stupid, boring movies and go watch them.

Oh, wait.... That doesn't happen at all!

You're full of shit.

>Because critics are fucking retarded, the entire lot of them.
What else is new?

Exactly, so why would growing be such a hot topic when shrinking is much more absurd?

fag

It's scary how accurate this is.

>“Would it kill one of these movies to have a plot that pivots on a desire or emotion"
>"emotion"

This dumb motherfucker. The movie is all about emotion. How they cloud judgment, how they drive us toward goals good and bad. Black Panther's whole character arc is about overcoming emotion for fucks sake. But no let's get away from that and Tony and Steve's ideological issues and instead make it a love triangle. What a dick.

What is that?

Probably not, women today the idea of women being a prize to be fought over

Which is funny because Widow has always had the least emotion on the crew. She's usually objective. Or stupid.

To be fair Vision treating Wanda like shit is pretty consistent in the comics too.

I've been looking for an excuse to post this.

Do I look like a Marvel movies producer to you?

EightTEEN
NineTEEN

A terrible boring drama with baby's first symbolism that pretends to be a horror movie.

Psychological horror film.

...

Only porn calls 18 and 19 year olds teens though

A cynical review by someone who thinks he's more intelligent than everyone else, but thinks a love triangle plot would be better than Civil War's

Porn calls 28 year old women teens too. An 18/19 year old is still a teen either way.

It's not even that (I actually liked The Babadook, sue me).

It's that film critics are so tied into the idea of "it's all subjective anyway" that most critics really don't care about their own opinions anymore. They'll follow trends if it seems to be popular; they'll go against trends if it gets them views. All they really care about is staying in the game, and they have the nerve to criticize filmmakers for roughly trying to do the same thing.

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson)
Fuuuuuck that.

God if anything, that's way too boring, petty, and pedestrian. Heroes like Cap and Iron Man stand for something. It's infinitely more interesting that they fight for ideals or beliefs that they wholeheartedly believe in.

Not to mention that it sends the right message. It's not healthy at all for people to fight for someone's affections like that. These movies have a lot of appeal for children and you wouldn't want them to think it's okay to obsess over someone like that. Superheroes have always been about setting the right example.

No if you're still in porn at 28 you're a milf. Under 23 teen, over 25 milf. Between the two it can go either way depending on the girl.

Oh. So it's a woman then.

I just want a movie where a robot and a witch get married, move into the suburb and hijinks ensue.

>Superman
>DUDE

Come on, you don't even need to see any other pages to know those are some other people putting those words into their mouths

It's the chicken between robin and the missile that really sells it.

reading Marjorie ''[UNSOLICITED OPINIONS ON ISRAEL???]'' Bennett twitter meltdown over this was nothing but cathartic keks

It honestly depends entirely on how old the performers look, more than anything. Boob-size also legit counts. Gianna Michaels is technically considered a milf iirc purely because of her huge natural titties, despite the fact that she's rather young-looking and more so than other 'milf' performers, but most would never actually put her in the genre, I think.

>let's gather some powerful individuals who would cause property damage and endanger citizens by their fighting, because we want to fuck
Real heroic, guys.

I mean, heroes are still destructive, but at least they have a better excuse.

The reason they looked for Widow's approval is she was the only one there at the time from the original crew. Hulk and Thor are off doing whatever, and Hawkeye didn't jump in till the middle. They respect her and by having her approval, it makes them feel they are in the right.

That someone would want to change that into "they want to fuck her" is kind of insane.

Watched this for the first time about a month or so ago.

It really isn't that good at all. Boring as fuck actually and not even really particularly scary.

This.

>"Hey guys, would it kill those Star Wars movies if they were set in down town San Francisco and instead of an evil empire fighting a rebellion it's about shoe shopping and Luke just trying to balance his work life with his love life?

FUCK THAT
We now have Wonder Fillion in universe.

All I want out of Marvel movies is for them to stop feeling so similar. That, and no more shaky-cam fist fights.

They are fighting over ideology and freedom.

Yeah but who gives a shit about that, there's a woman in this movie so where's the romance

Steve+Bucky is a love that transcends time and biology.

...

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans)
and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow

>Wouldn’t Captain America: Civil War be a more interesting movie if Captain America (Chris Evans) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) fought over, say, the affections of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), whose approval they are both clearly jockeying for anyway?

Name of this comic please.

>Child screaming for hour is a moving story?

based rightclops

fuck captain fascist

>Im Chuck Bowen, a spritely pignosed arthouse fag critic, and this movie should have had focused on desire and emotion, not shallow reasons like the control and conspiracy to set up one of your oldest and only surviving friends from the 1940s, or the conflict of having to go against your friend because the one person their protecting killed your parents albeit against their will, or the worlds reaction to your misunderstood power.
>No, it should be 2 superchads fighting over some pussy.

>The Babadook is a 2014 Australian-Canadian

It's concentrated shitposting

>pseudo-techno-jargon
Only if you write an article that doesn't pivot on redundant writing.

Not sure why I said that here, he can't see me.

could be, should be Superman/Batman #78
comicvine.gamespot.com/supermanbatman-78-who-would-win-a-world-of-their-o/4000-244932/

Screenshots?

The Russos or Markus & McFeely? Because the Russos have been avoiding comic book-y stuff more than other MCU directors.

>Zemo
>Falcon's "costume" in TWS, which they only made slightly less tacticool at Mackie's insistence
>Cap's costumes
>No robo Zola

God dammit I'm a woman and the reason I like this films is because they don't do this shit

...

Uh, I'm pretty sure NOT being thought of as a fucking prize cow is what we as females should be going for

Kek, this is still pretty good.

I guess even SNL is still funny every once in a while.

fuck his shit opinion
but the massive marble balls he has to publicize it on the current pc climate we live in is to be admired

>All I want out of Marvel movies is for them to stop feeling so similar.

...Ant Man is similar to Iron Man?

GOTG is similar to...anything?

If you really want different takes on the cape genre, look to the Netflix shows, they're really doing a good job making those feel VERY different from the Big Bright World of the mainline movies.

>but the massive marble balls he has to publicize it on the current pc climate we live in is to be admired
I don't think his intent was to stick it to SJWs at all; I think he's just THAT stupid.

>Oh, wait.... That doesn't happen at all!
Are you somehow under the impression that there isn't a constant flood of rom-coms?

Kind of off-topic, but does anyone have the webm of Laughing Chrisface on STOP INVINCIBLE SON's body?

Frankly, he's not really The Vision until he's had a good on-screen cry.