>You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say, "Oh, I'll get you later" but "later" never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound, intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much...he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible! You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would have known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore. Well, see ya, Brian! Thanks for the fucking steak.
You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife...
This entire scene was just two retards, both entirely in the wrong in different ways, bitching at each other.
So, Sup Forums in a nutshell, I guess.
>You're a literal rapist.
Basically his argument is this.
>You murdered the entire Simpsons family after sleeping with Marge.
Yet somehow, I still find Glenn more tolerable than Brian. Put Brian back in the ground and let Vinny replace him again.
Why did they choose Quagmire of all characters to do this?
The first point he's brings up is something that he did himself plenty of times
>coming from a disease-ridden rapist and murderer
im guessing he's the most popular character not in the family
>tfw brian is hot but he's still attributed to the worst show on television
>brian
>hot
Really, dude? There's people drawing metric tons of furry as we speak and you lust over Brian?
Yeah, but it was entertaining for someone to take Brian down a peg. Not as good as that talk show, but enjoyable.
Not him, but I lust over way worse shit.
But there really isn't any reason to go for Brian when Jasper and New Brian exist(ed).
...
Man, fuck that episode.
Fuck modern Family Guy in general and fuck the cancer thats leaking over into American Dad.
Modern family guy is so lazy. How is it even on the air? It's just the bare minumum of a plot, a few minute long ''jokes'' and lots of filler to pad out the show.
>he's not a terrible person because he admits to his terrible acts
That's not how it works.
God, I miss it when Brian was just the alcoholic straightman not this liberal soapbox/strawman. I personally blame the inclusion of the novel running gag. That's when it all started to go down hill for him.
Well he's right and can understand definitely him not wanting to hang out with Brian or trouble tolerating him. But at least people don't need the feeling to put him in jail for sexual assault or minimal a restraining order.
Haven't got around to watching American Dad since Roger pushed Jeff into the alien tractor beam (kek). Is it really getting bad? I thought it was on an upwards swing where I stopped watching.
>You constantly hit on your best friend's wife.
But Quagmiire tried to fuck Lois at least 8 times in the entire series.
It's mediocre. Not Family Guy bad. But they seem to be past their golden years. They can still hit a high note once in a while though.
>being wrong on one thing means he can't tell when someone else is wrong about some other thing
Well that's rich coming from a rapist.
And he succeeded in fucking Cleveland's wife
In the mood to watch some good family guy episodes, any suggestions?
I liked the episode where Brian wanted to fuck Lois
I could buy this rant from Joe, 'cause he'd be pretty much totally right and not have any of the hypocrisy, but I guess it's also a lot harder to buy Joe being that mean-spirited, since he's by far the nicest character in the show.
Only the early stuff
I liked the Sup Forums edit better
Takes one to know one, eh Quagarooney?
>Awesome Reason You Suck Speech.
>Unfortunately, it comes right out of the mouth of a registered sex offender.
>Degrades his sister for choosing to be a part of an abusive relationship.
>Bangs at least 2/3 of his friends' wives.
You're one to talk, Quagmire.
ptv
Loretta wanted it bad, so you can't put all the blame on Quagmire. It takes two to cheat.
>Takes one to know one, eh Quagarooney?
Isn't that the point?
He still could've chosen to take the high ground, him shitting on Brian over his crush on Lois was ridiculous
What's this?
I've already watched the classics, though
>Modern
This episode came out 7 years ago.
I don't have it saved, but he's basically yelling at an user for various activities on here, including reading comics but not buying them
It stayed at a great quality until it moved to TBS and the TBS seasons have been alright, kinda hit or miss but not nearly as bad as Family Guy has gotten.
I like the implication that Brian is so horrible that even someone as bad as Quagmire is fed up with his bullshit.
That just means you're closer to him on the tard spectrum and thus feel empathy, user.
It woud've had more impact coming from Joe for that exact reason. And it's not like Joe's incapable of being mean, look what happened when he got legs.
>using tvtropes terms
FUCK
OFF
It started to go to shit in 2009.
>which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see?
Quagmire abandoned his daughter, while Brian took his son and turned him into a better man.
So the whole lecture is an hypocrisy done by a rapist and pedo.
How does Brian have a human son if he's a dog?
Quagmire is just as bad as Brian, but he accepts who he is. He doesn't think himself any better than anyone else.
How come in Walt Disney's world there are only nephews and no sons?
Human mother and also the writers don't give a shit.
I thought the point was the ironic comedy of two shit characters thinking they're superior to one another when actually they'd have a lot in common if they weren't douches. It's just entertaining to watch a catfight. Like watching two faggots argue on Sup Forums like anyone wins anything.
I love how Quagmire eviscerated McFarland's leftist mouthpiece, Brian.
But doesn't it render it moot being spoken BY McFarlane? And by one of the most amoral pieces of trash on the show?
Really, I don't know what game he's playing.
They should've made a character for this exact reason, or just use Jerome.
What's funny is they aren't even that bad compared to characters from other shows.
Hey Quagmire... I FUCKED YOUR DAD
Your problem is that you think McFarlane does any of the writing for Brian just because he does the voice.
He is one of the writers on the Family Guy team, is he not?
It's "you can't criticize me if I make fun of myself first cause then it's self-aware humor."
Although let's be real and blame the whole writing staff and not just seth
nope
he just does voice work.
he doesn't give two fucks about the show or the writers.
he just cashes the checks and hires a room full of calart students to do all the writing.
which is why it's such a pile of shit
Are you retarded?
Also see: Aladdin
Seth is a liberal stooge so in his mind Brian is still a "straight man"
Treating the characters like real, reasonable people for more serious moments that clash with their behavior in shock-value gags is a general problem for Family Guy.
tl;dr
Quagmire hates Brian for being a bad person.
Even though he's a registered sex offender and murderer.
>And by one of the most amoral pieces of trash on the show?
That's the real joke. The 'fans' of the show were so utterly sub-human stupid they couldn't deal with 'hurrdurrr lieberal mouth piece but Brian is bad too because of all these context clues that only /I/ was clever enough to spot' Y'know, context clues like entire episodes revolving around Brian being a pretty shitty guy. So the show had the absolute worst piece of filth character spell it out for them. The only people who didn't get it before then are the kind of mouth breathing troglodytes being made fun of here. The kind of people actively rooting for the human trafficking serial rapist who also constantly hits on his best friend's wife, simply because he's on their 'team'.
...
Don't you have threesomes with your mom?
Don't you roofie women?
Don't you rape bound cheerleaders when you find them?
Wasn't there a group of tagged woman inside your trunk?
Aren't you a registered sex offender?
Sure Brian's a cunt but for all intents and purposes you should be in jail.
A Lot Going on Upstairs from this season, actually good plot and has no gore.
Why is Family Guy the only animated show where Sup Forums thinks the creator actually writes the episodes?
He got cucked.
>Well he's right
No he isn't.
And he only works the soup kitchen in order to have access to vulnerable homeless women.
Would you really get it on with Jasper though?
Sure he might be fun for awhile but that campiness would wear off quick.
It's a cartoon, that's how come.
I hate the ending of his rant. He lists all that bad stuff, then throws it all out to call him a bore. Maybe I just don't understand what a bore is, but it doesn't sound half as bad as some of the other things he said.
>I'm a murderer, rapist, pedo, and disease-ridden creepy stalker, but at least I'm at peace with all that!
The problem was that only Quagmire actively hates Brian so he was the only one they could use to talk shit to him.
It means he could tolerate all the terrible shit if he was a fun/interesting person to be around but he's an insufferable douche. That's the difference between Quagmire and Brian, they are both terrible people but at least people like Quagmire.
Sometimes i feel like maybe family guy would be better if Brian was still dead and Quagmire was in jail.
why did quagmire start hating Brian anyway?
was it literally just that one episode where stewie stated it that it started?
cause if so, wow, that has to be the laziest way i've ever seen a relationship between two characters happen in my entire life
>was it literally just that one episode where stewie stated it that it started?
Yeah, they were quite friendly with each other before that episode.
probably a ploy by the writers for future episodes; setup a dynamic (Quagmire hates Brain) to serve as basis for future plotlines (its a Quagmire vs. Brian episode)
johnofe, plz go
I didn't care who the smackdown came from, it coulda been anyone.
I was just glad to see Brian taken down a peg, like another user said.
I mean, McFarlane voices Quagmire anyway so it's not like he gives a shit either way
Dare I ask what the hell that is?
My problem is that they stuck with it and made Quagmire hate on Brian after this episode, even beat him up. It was one thing to use him as means to deliver this fanservice, but making it a character trait made he come up as self righteous, like when he's disrespectful during his funeral.
>like when he's disrespectful during his funeral
They were a lot more subtle with that than they could have been, though.
Peter, just like the rest of the cast, is an absolutely abominable person. He is almost abhuman in his actions but Quagmire can at least tolerate Peter because Peter is fun to be around.
He's got no personality and he's not fun to be around, it's one of the key reasons they don't invite him to go drinking with them. Any time they get involved with childish shenanigans, Brian'll just be the first to talk about how unethical it is (which, granted, is his job as the voice of reason amongst the family).
Super Herpes
2004*
MAN! I'd LOVE to see THAT episode of Family Guy! (Unfortunately, I read that in Quagmire's voice, so I've lost the game)
Someday, we'll get an episode where Peter admits he fully expects Brian to kill himself, and it'll be the most horrific speech on the show.
The latest seasons of Family Guy have been like an essay on middle-aged despair. It's bizarre.
>Ah, cold car ride through a dark suburban night. Look out the window and think of death, kids. It's a-comin'.
Any reason for that image, user?
Of all people why Quagmire, it'd be more undrstanding with Joe or Cleveland chewing him out on all his faults but Quagmire is the last to have to preach.
Joe would have been great. Being an honest police man and all that.
Because it's going to fucking hurt, and someone's going to push it to the back of their mind.