The Amazing Spider-Storytime

Alright, let's do this shit.

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Sure we all know this origin story, but how many of you folks on here have actually READ it?
....probably a lot actually.
Hell, when Spider-Man 2 was first coming out my local newspaper serialized both this and many of the early ASM issues in the Sunday comics strip.

Peter was, especially in these early issues, what one could safely call an "Ultra-Nerd".
Like, I don't I actually knew anybody ever who was actually as geeky as Peter is here, and I knew some dorky freakin' guys.

What kinda whiny kid says "ow" when a spider that small bites him anyway?

Anyone on here ever play that fucking awesome superhero game, Freedom Force?
It's hilarious how closely the Secret Origin of the Ant hews to this comic, some of the in-game "panels" of him using his powers for the first are even similar to this.

Meh. I liked Randy Savage better.
The Macho Man is just too fun to listen to talk.
youtube.com/watch?v=8C4lK41SX-Q

>The Amazing Netman

He's a science geek and a machineshop geek AND he can fucking sow?
Jesus, I'm pretty sure even I would steal this kid's lunch money, just on principle.
Not the most auspicious of beginnings, it's true.

And here's some home refrigeration training.
You know. If you're into that sort of thing.

Man, those folk look fucking wowed.

And the fateful decision.

Apparently Spider-Man was going to be on TV.
And won the "Showbiz Award", which sounds like that golden penis award they give to porn stars or something...

Did Stan Lee ever record the narration to this? I feel like that's something he would do.

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>"With Great Power comes Great Responsibility"
It's an iconic catchphrase of Spidey's, but in actuality it was never said aloud to him by anyone at all. The narrator (read: Stan Lee) says it to the READER, not Uncle Ben to Peter.

In fact I think that means the first person who ever speaks it aloud is actually Peter himself.
Not that I know of, but it wouldn't surprise me if someone found something like that.
It's something Crazy Uncle Stan would do.

And here's Amazing Spider-Man #1 featuring both the Fantastic Four (of the World's Greatest Comics Magazine) and....wait, the Chameleon?

And here's one of these things.

Already everybody hates him.

Spider-Man's greatest and more recurring adversary: POVERTY!

That last panel.
>A Sad Peter

You should probably storytime higher definition stuff instead of scan shit. Not that I mind these.

So imagine you're a bank teller and there's only four superheroes in the world since Captain America apparently died in WWII.
Imagine this rando in red and blue pajamas with webs just walks in and asks you to cash a check.

>A high-definition scan of a 53-year-old comic

It literally exist senpai.

Two interesting things to note here.
1: Apparently J.J. was based by Stan Lee on a highly exaggerated version of Lee HIMSELF, who was notoriously demanding as an editor. Not exactly a flattering self-insert.
2: After Aunt May and J.J., this mention here makes John Jameson one of the oldest recurring members of Spider-Man's extended cast.
These are all I have I'm afraid.
And since my goal is to keep going until I've got none left well....

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>Back when the Space Race was actually relevant

It's kinda funny how the third Raimi movie actually included this stuff.

JJ is much less...well, crazy here then he later acts against Spidey.

>"Halt!
>"Fuck you!"
>*webs random guard*

Really, it's not difficult to imagine how so many people can dislike Spider-Man in these early stories.

Later Spidey stories would have him struggling to pull off shit like this, honestly.

>This comic brought to you by....

You'd think the part that makes the only thing that stops you from dying after re-entry would be an easy part to remember but noooo....

What the FUCK JJ!?

Seriously, what a douchecanoe.

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Like....seriously?
The Chameleon? THAT'S Spidey's first supervillain? Does he even DO anything anymore except show up to fuck with Boomerang in Superior Foes?

I mean, I know I got MY high school job by breaking into the building.

I love Ben just chilling and reading the newspaper there, not really taking it seriously at first.

>"We're non-profit!"
>"You rent the top five floors of an ENTIRE BUILDING!"
>"It was a donation!"
>"Oh fuck you guys!"

Ok, it's an iconic comic who introduced THE Spider-Man , but seriously, it sucks and it's quite boring.

Well, I gotta give Chameleon credit.
Using his powers of disguise to discreetly rob people as someone else probably makes him one of the more intelligent Spidey bad guys simply because he doesn't put on a brightly colored costume and knock off banks in broad daylight on camera.

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Yeah, I won't argue that.
That said the series gets better and better as it goes on and I plan to try and storytime as much as The Amazing Spider-Man as I possibly can if anyone actually cares.

I miss the web armpits...

Skipping some ad pages.

Clearly they hadn't really done much in the way of clarifying how his Spider-Sense worked yet.
It just seems to point him in the direction of the plot early on so he doesn't get lost or whatever.
Well the new movie is adding them back, so that's something.
Which means a month later the comics will add them too before replacing Spidey with a robot clone made out Hulk Dicks or something just to make people mad because that's what Marvel does these days.

>the new movie is adding them back
I never saw a concrete source for this, care to provide one?

The FUCKING REDS are behind it all!
I should have known!

We could make a drinking game of this I think.
Not while I'm storytiming...and I don't have one anyway.
But if they released a casting call that has the lineup for Chris Priest's Black Panther as characters I can at least dream that they'll add web pits, can't I?

Bump, the series does get quite better as it goes. Im aroumd 180ish in my read through of it and spectacular.

Spidey ends this caper like he will so many others....crying like a bitch and running away home.
Hashtag SpiderLife.
Hastag WithGreatPowerComesTheShittiestLife.

Yeah, I mean even the early Thor and Fantastic Four stuff is rough, but it all gets better before Ditko and Kirby leave

>In This Issue!
>Spider-Man Beats Up Old People!
Really, Parker's early superheroic career is not a very auspicious one is it?
I think it's genuinely one of the best overall comics magazines ever.
It's so good that Raimi could genuinely lift pretty much entire scenes from it and place them in his movies with somewhat different contexts and they're generally the best scenes of the first two films.
The biggest problem in a modern sense is that since most are serialized stories when compressed into a single film they loose a lot of the oomph the comics version had from the buildup.

I actually dig The Vulture.
Winged characters are fun for me, I dunno why.
Indeed, and the villains introduced in the initial #33 issues are iconic enough that most remain for the majority of Spider-Man's comic book history, which is more then I can say even of Batman who had his most iconic villains sporadically added over his publication years.

JJ apparently starts as the head of a magazine publishing company, not a newspaper.
Kinda funny in some ways.

Who names their kid "Moose"?

I remember Rami made a big deal out of only wanting to use Ditko era villains. All the Venom shit was forced by the studio

Gotta give him credit for having balls at least.

>"HaHA motherfucker! Suck watertower!"
Way to get your ass handed to you Pete.
Venom is such a shitty character too.
Like, they had A story with him and then be came back for Carnage's first story and made him a hero and it turns out there's just not a lot you can do with a character who's entire personality is "Spider-Man on roids and with teeth who eats brains and hates Spider-Man".

>"Oh shit, I totally forgot I can bench a car now."

I get a kick how Peter sold his pictures to the Bugle first purely because he thought it would be funny to troll JJ without him knowing.

For you

I like Venom in the Michelinie era with McFarlane and Larsen. Also the first solo mini Lethal Protector. Then Marvel started going too far giving him more and more solo stuff and creating too many symbiotes

Given that later Joe Robertson would be made City Editor, this is probably who Jonah is shouting at.
This is also basically the last time JJ will ever take Peter's photographs without throwing a hissy fit or whining over price as far as I can tell.

>"Hahaha, what a little FAGGOT!"
Man these kids are dicks.
I hope Moose fades into obscurity and Liz gets marries to a husband who beats her.

>"SURPRISE COCKFAGS!"
Okay I gotta admit; a flying guy coming out of a manhole and escaping underground is actually a pretty good plan.

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Peter of course never uses this device again.

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>"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for that meddling Spider-Man!"

Two villains in one issue!
Twice the amount of abuse of the elderly!

Flash Thompson finally appears, replacing Moose as the Chad of Peter Parker's high school years.

Oh, I forgot to mention about the aliens.
Because this issue has aliens in it.
In other news, this marks the first time where they do the half-Parker/half-Spidey face to visually denote his Spider-Sense going off.

Spider-Sense can detect radio signals too now?
Shit, if it could do any more then a blind guy could see in 360 degrees around him with it!

The Tinkerer was implied to be an alien himself in this story despite his later appearances just making him an elderly guy who sells hardware on the cheap to supervillains or anyone else who'll pay him.

All things considered, Pete is taking this alien invasion really well.

Stupid Sup Forums.

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As always, all electronic equipment immediately goes up in flames when jostled even slightly.

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In his hands he holds the Bat-Radia!

Guess who?

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It's a shame the Spider-Signal isn't used anymore. Mostly because Spidey has no real use for it at all I suppose.

>Spiderman slated for new TV Series!

Now that's a headline I'd like to see someday.

Ock has literally never once had a sense of style.
He has always been the doofus with the bad haircut and stupid clothes and metal arms.

Explosions and radiation man.
It'll get you every time.
Me too.
I honestly think most of Spidey's iconic storylines would be better suited to a TV series format then trying to compress what made them enjoyable in a 2 to 3 hour movie.

You know that:

A - This has been reprinted hundreds of times
B - There are digital versions of these early issues

...right? You're not so stupid as to think that nicer versions don't exist, right?

That was a short jump to megalomania, wasn't it?
Kinda makes me think he wasn't to healthy in the first place.

>Suction fingers
Yeah, that explanation will last forever.
Or not.

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I have to study for finals, but thanks for the storytime, OP.

Ock is about the first guy Spidey fights who is genuinely a match for him and sets a sort of precedent most Spider-Man villains would follow in some way to different degrees; namely that quite a few would be his equal or physical superior in at least one area but would lack the complete set of powers like Peter does.

Ock has him effectively equaled in strength and reach, and his stamina compared to Spidey's is effectively infinite since his arms don't ever get tired and they do all the work, but beyond that he's kind of a glass cannon since he's just a dude without them, and a fairly out of shape looking one at that.

Before you tip your fedora, this was considered revolutionary in the 60s and blew everyone's fucking minds away.

Ock also establishes the familiar pattern of Pete loosing his first fight against new opponents but later defeating them on their second engagement.

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Another familiar pattern being established; Ock's plans never really seem to make much sense.
They always go;
>Beat Spider-Man
>Blow stuff up/threaten people
>???
>Profit