/brit/

/remember/

nz general was better

David go to sleep mate. I'll add this to the list of ridiculous things you seem to passionately beleive in.

I was bullied and also the bully
Who here is the /radical centre/ ?
Now I've just converted my years of trauma and years of bullying others into starting fights when I'm drunk ahahah

LOVE France
HATE UK
HATE Eire

...

used to bully the fat kid at greggs haha desu lads xx

Yeah two suicides

LOVE UK
LOVE France
LOVE Eire
HATE yankland

>tfw parents beat me
>thought it was normal so I would hit kids
>tried drowning one girl once because I wanted to get back on my mother for choking me
>parents told me "good job" when they found out
Feels good.

Your life in school was literally: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"

was a bit on the chubby side in hs, but frequented greggs and got bullied

alri adam lanza

went to greggs every lunch time and the teacher cired over it to be honest lads haha xxx

i think (it's almost impossible to tell). that I am the person you think is david. but I haven't actually argued with you about anything tonight. in fact i've made about four posts in as many hours

farts smell rather stinky lads

we had an IT teacher, totally jaded guy, hated his job and his students and wasn't shy about it.
his favourite phrase was "pick a window", implying that he was going to throw you out of it.
he ended up committing suicide, upon hearing the news one of my classmates said "i wonder what window he picked". unfortunately for him a teacher overheard him and he got absolutely bollocked.

are you literally 12 or 13 years old? i know its supposed to be ironic but i honestly cant fathom men into their 20's sitting at a computer, typing this shit, posting it, having a chuckle to themselves. it gives me the fear to be honest.

grim that.

thought NZ was a friendly country

You're just sonderry.

errrr, mind your own business sweaty xxxx

Do you hear the people sing

nah we have a real high youth suicide rate for some reason

one kid OD'd
one died in a car accident
another one was stabbed or something

I wish there was a drink that tasted like farts.
I would sipp it so hard out of your ass.

erm.. as in beat?

were you in one of them religious schools where the teachers beat people with rulers?

alri dave

your posting style is very distinctive. you've been here all night, like you usually are. you're the one that argued about macbooks, you're the one that favoured DS9 over TNG, you're the one that thought tame impala was the beatles rip off.

The reason why i know that is because you seem to be the only poster here that will autistically for hours sperg out every thread with ling reddit spaced paragraghs, interspersed with calls of mentally ill and paki and greater london. You're a singular poster, i dont know why you'd lie about this. in a sea of anons talking about having a poo lads haha xx and emma watson, you march on. you are dave. we all know who you are lad.

can't imagine the lad who said sweaty instead of sweety and watched it become a huge gimmick

any niBBas in

ancapistan?

I'm 2% black, yeah.

daveposting is the last /brit/ gimmick of 2017

wonder what the first of 2018 will be

He's not Dave lad, there were definitely more than one of us tonight. I think you're the autistic one.

fatcam comeback tour

I'm coming to find you if it takes me all night.
Wrong until you make it right
and I won't forget you
At least I'll try
and run...
and run...
tonight...

...

rough urban high school or is this just suburban kids

tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
somewhere in the town
tonight there's gonna be trouble
so don't you be around

i'm the dave exposer. he's tried to meme me as a paki from london

ive never reflected on all the bad shit ive done, this is the first time.
i am a proper horrible bastard arent i?
i feel like i care, like im not proud of what ive done but i think most of it was pretty fucking funny
seeing it all compiled like this really puts it into perspective. i grew up in a rough area, the shit ive done isnt out of the ordinary so ive nevet really thought much of it.
i know you all probably think im an actual sociopath, but im really not. you just have a really one sided view of me, people used to - and still do- tell me im a really nice person.
cant really blame me for being a product of the environment. i blame the tories.
they shut down our youth centre, we need more money for them youth programs.

well you've been calling me dave for about an hour and i'm the guy who posts about cocaine

Big Dave

t. david

I love you.

a broken clock is always right twice a day

>you're not proud of what you've done
Good, now that you've actually reflected on it and shown genuine remorse for what you've done I'm happy for you.
This is literally all I wanted to hear because you not feeling any guilt didn't make sense to me.
If those are some of the funniest moments you've done, then fair play. I hope it's not too late for you to make more.
Glad I've made you mature to be honest, it's made my day.

who knew most northern 'hard men' were really folk angry the tories cut their youth centre funding.

really sheds light on the whole situation

I was mildly sexually harassed when I was 15ish. A boy kept asking me to suck his cock and used to spit on me because he was a freak.
I went to the head of year about it eventually. He was mostly concerned with the homophobic language the boy used in public, not really the way he treated me. I was told it was my responsibility to gather proof, so I took some facebook screenshots of the boy calling people “faggots” on facebook. He told me that this would be by default elevated to some sort of formal investigation, and that interviews would be conducted, a group of adults would “try” the case, it would go on the boy’s permanent record, parents would be informed and a conclusion would be reached after a few months.

This was NOT what I wanted, as I specifically stated many times to him. All that I wanted was a teacher to tell the boy to wind his neck in a bit, so that he would stop or ease off a little. I didn’t give a shit about ruining a boy’s academic career and I certainly wasn’t interested in my friends being interviewed about this fairly humiliating affair without my consent.

I was told that in that case the only option was the drop the whole thing entirely. Apparently the only choice was to either become embroiled in a Very Big Serious Investigation and ruin both of our lives, or to do nothing at all. And this was all due to the school’s so-called “Safeguarding Policy”.

So nothing happened and I put up with it for the rest of my time at school.
What a fucking joke.

DAVE
A
V
E

>macbooks
I was one of the people you were arguing with
>DS9 over TNG
Had to google these don't like star trek
>Tame impala beatles rip off
No. I like tame impala.

honestly have not made any posts at all tonight really. i did make the post about you attacking random posters calling you dave

im poor and have no marketable skills because the tories shut down a yoof centre where we played cod on the xbox for 2 hours a day : ((

windows > mac OS

Did you try hitting him?

56% behind this post

>50R
>16P

probably ruined your chance to become a pro gamer or renowned streamer

mix of both
lots of white trash and "minorities"

whiter than you, mohammed

hey ;;)

wonder what phone bill gates has

i have no future because the tories upped the price of the meal deal at tesco to be honest fuck theresa

hi

I would probably call myself right-wing/conservative but I really enjoy Jimmy Dore's youtube channel. Very informative videos and takes on the news, especially as it relates to the impacts of money on politics.

Democracy can't work when billionaires are able to in effect not just buy votes, but control parties and legislative agendas.

Labour and the left in general prey on dumb northerners to spread their narrative about da tories. without that core base they have virtually nothing anymore, not even scotland

farts smell so bad i actually feel sick sniffing them

fuck off fatty, the frog's mine

*plays a clip on the show*
*grins at you jewishly*
*raises eyebrows*
*tilts head*

Too formulaic.

haven't been here for a few days
who is dave

old guy at work is going to cambodia

on his own

should i ring the police

>tubbiest guy ITT
>calling me fat

...

I'm a lean skeleton. I could probably fit my entire body in your fat folds.

fat boy fight place your bets on the piggies

t. eats arby's twice a day

my bmi clocks in around 20

>no beto
>no Emma Watson spammer
wtf I love /brit/ now

i hate labour but sometimes you read a post here that just reminds you you're posting with children and morons

wow hitler must have been tiny lol

Mine's 16 so ha.
I eat twice a day as well, rice and fish.

This is a fucking hilarious exchange. Will add to my amerimutt folder.

16 is clinically underweight you runtoid

get a load of this runt

feel like pure shit just want to complete the cape to cairo railway x

Love the Irish
Hate the British
Simple as

Don't care.
I could beat any of you in a fight because I can legally own a gun.
If that doesn't work, I have enough money to file a lawsuit against any of you punks.

his comedy isn't that great either, usually it's just sarcasm. BUT, still he's raising important issues about Hillary and the establishment democrats, about the neoliberal republicans, about growing economic inequality, about the impact of the rich donors on politics and society, etc. he seems to avoid identity politics and SJW issues.

I remember in your English class when I was 13 we were tasked with the creative writing motif “Family”, and given 5 minutes before the end of the lesson to brainstorm. You went round the class person by person and asked us what our ideas were.

A solid 80% of the class had had the exact same idea of a WW1/2 soldier in a trench, and the remainder were all broadly similar - all very average stories about young men in the 20th/21st century wanting to go home to escape some terrible situation.

Then when you came to me I explained my idea, which consisted of an engineer on an intergalactic cruise liner being bribed a vast amount of money to plant a mysterious suitcase in the luggage hold. Inside he knew that the suitcase was almost certainly a bomb that would kill the thousands of passengers, but he forced himself to carry out the job by picturing how much he could help his family with the payment. Then after he carries out the job and sure enough the starship explodes, he takes the payment and, unable to face his family, flees the planet with the cash and completely abandons them.

You straight-up laughed in my face when I explained my idea.
That was the last time I tried to write a creative writing story I actually wanted to write.
Fuck you.

mines 19 you fucking lard
i could heem you

I don't know why byt it was really strange seeing louis theroux doing a documentary on the social ills of the UK for once. Most of our media looks outwards to the world, strange seeing documentaries being done about london i dont think i know that many

cheers lad, i promise im not nearly as cunty as i portrayed myself to be.

one final cunty thing i did.
one night i was with a group of about 50 of the estate lads. all of us were off our heads on ecstasy. we stole about 15 wheelie bins from the estate, piled them on top of each other in an abandoned factory and lit them all on fire. biggest fire ive ever seen. i dont know what happened, but one of them exploded. like a proper full on explosion, temporarily blinded and deafened me and showered all of us in melted plastic. great night until the plod showed up. helicopters were out and everything, you should've seen it. dozens of us on the run from the police. it was a proper stealthy operation, at one point i was hid in a bush and my mate was underneath a car watching a police van slowly drive past looking for us. you cant beat an adrenaline rush like that. on that same night we threw a brick through someones living room window, the lights were on and everything so they mustve been in there when a brick came flying in so that made it 10 times funnier.

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
haha fucking yanks though

it's not a fight if you shoot the other guy you muppet

those are both normal you simpleton

fuck's sake. >american education

i understand the lighting things on fire for fun bit

but why the fuck would you throw a brick through some random person's window you fucking psycho cunt

Same lad, he's good. I think sometimes his angry rants feel a bit too forced, and he needs to let bernie go because its just getting sad now. Spot on with clinton and obama tho

british people stink . I hope this country goes to hell.

hello ahmed

?

seen many a piece on Panorama about problems in the UK, such as poverty in the north, alcoholism, religious conflict... I think I saw one thing about housing prices or something too?

>I could beat any of you in a fight because I can legally own a gun.
if you ever dare try to enter britain, you won’t step one foot on the soil before I drown you in your own spinal fluid and send you back to your suburban flyover state plywood house with your jaw checked in as hand luggage

hope my posts are not in too many amerimutt folders

i have a question. Is there any old growth virgin forest in England, any at all?

Not him, but I did that too. It was all part of the ASBO thug culture in the youth of the early-mid 00s. Generated by increased awareness of actual gang life in Compton thanks to San Andreas and hip hop being popular, people acting like cunts. Fuck, at one point virtually every town in england had it own little local gang that consisted of a couple graffiti tags and hanging outside the cornershop harassing passers by to get you a 10 pack of mayfair

>growth virgin forest in England
yeah, rorke's pubes