Hey there everyone, Bill Burr here with the monday morning podc-noNONONO

>Hey there everyone, Bill Burr here with the monday morning podc-noNONONO

Other urls found in this thread:

vimeo.com/50934919
youtube.com/watch?v=eQ7useQEABQ
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Moral of the story: sometimes you beat the pussy, sometimes the pussy beats you.

xD You sir have just won the internets! Have an upvote!

WHAT CAN SHE SAY?

>GIBS ME HALF YO MONEY, MUTHAFUCKA!

Heheh, soo..women huh? hahah...women..theyre, theyre..theyre just crazy y'know?
The other day for example, I was at the grocery st-

>Nia storms the stage in her robe without wearing her wig and furiously starts beating the shit out of bill

YOU DIN DO THE DISHES NIQUH
IM HOME ALONE ALL DAY WITCH'O FUCKIN BABY AN IM BORED NIQUH
YO' JOKES PANDER TO PROBLEMATIC SCUMBAGS NIQUH
CHECK YO' WHITE PRIVILEGE NIQUH

*spits out a mouthful of blood*
>the lovely Nia everyone

HEY NIA HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO CLOSE THE FAUCET HUH

YA KNOW, TRY NOT TO FLOOD THE FACKIN' HOUSE

>Hi there, guys, today the podcast will be broadcast from the attic while I'm in shackles. It's a me-
>*Steps are heard, she approaches with increasing speed and finally opens the door to check on his malnourished prisoner with the harshest of glances before shutting it back to take care of the barbecue fueled by his scorching clothes*
>-taphor for the burdens of married life, h-haha!
>Did I tell you guys I've been losing some weight? I'm 120 lbs now, i-it's just a diet that was recommended by my doctor.

>"anyways that's the Thursday afternoon podcast just before Friday, now there won't be any throwback clips from here on out because Nia said I'm not allowed to remember my privileged white past or have any memories without her in them, so instead we're gonna have an hour of her favorite feminist podcasts instead, so Andrew can you splice that in- What's that honey, you want to fire Andrew to bring in your own editor? Alright honey, calm down, I'll give him a call, just put the DVR remote down, put it OW STOP IT PLEASE NIA-"

Can someone explain this meme? Did his wife beat him up or something?

is this guy having a hard time with his wife or not

I need someone to confirm this.

>14 years... 14 FUCKING YEARS NIA... A MAN CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH
>fuck my mics on
>HAHA, just playing with NIAAAAAAA whatthe fuck are you doing stop tearing up my notepads thats where i wrote my material i fucking need that for us to live you cunt WHOAH THE LOVELY NIA EVERYONE you agreed in couples therapy you wouldnt do that anymore you fucking agreed not to hurt my work YEAH THE LOVELY NIA EVERYBODY

Pull the trigger, Bill.

This actually breaks my heart, It's hard to see a man this redpilled about relationships get caught into the most classic trick.

Can we pitch in for a hitman or something? Not for Nia, we'll just put Bill out of his misery. Time for this shithole of a website did something actually positive.

THE LOVELY NIA EVERYBODY

>Its a Nia wears a Bill Burr mask and routinely beats the shit out of the baby when Bill's not home episode
I gotta give it to her, she's getting pretty creative

Sup Forums blowing an argument between both of them way out of proportion.

As someone who's dated black chicks, they're crazy and violent.

Which argument?

everyone was so shocked when Bill Burr mentioned that he loved One Punch Man. But I don't understand why. He even married One Punch Woman.

Heeeeey it's th- oh no
>Sounds in the distance of movement and a baby crying
Ohnonon--HEEEEY THE LOVELY NIA
>Motion can be heard as bill frantically points at mic
U THINK I CARE BITCH NIQUH!?!?!
>A loud slam is heard and a baby is heard wailing
WUT U CRYN FO BITCH
>Bill apologizes for crying
I TOLD U NIQUH I NEEDS DA DVR FOR MAH STORIES
>A loud slap is heard, bill yelps like a dog
U MUGFUKN WHYT BOIS PATRIARCHY TEAM
>Nia begins to kill bills dog
I TOLD U DEY WAS PROBLEMATIC NIQUH
>Bill begs patheticly and fruitlessly
SO I DELETED DEM AND KILL YO DOG BITCH
>Bill weeps loudly
I AINT WATCHING YO DAMN BABY TONIGHT BITCH ME ANT TYRONE GOIN DANSIN
>She hurls a baby as black as night at bills head
DIS YO FAULT NIQUH
>A door slams Bill clutches at his black gift and looks at a picture of his family
>He focuses on his father and begins to weep harder
>He looks down at his raging erection all 4 inches of irish glory
Man I tell's ya women are crazy! eh!?

They had a lot, most famously she made him drive his dog "to the farm" if you know what I mean. Also made him sell his drums.

She punched him in the face. Would you stand for that?

Are you fucking kidding me? She made him kill his dog?

Oh no goy the dog's living on the farm, perfectly happy. Everything's fine

Here's the basic gestalt

>Hey bill I rescued a dog, here.
>Nia why would you do that I specifically told y-
>Shut the fuck up. Love it.
>Ok I love it now.
>Good. now kill it.
>What?
>Kill the fucking dog bill. Do it right now. Look at it in the eyes while youre taking it's life away..
>O-ok I killed it
>Good. Now get rid of your fucking drum kit.
>B-but I like playi-
>FUCKING GET RID OF IT
>OK OK IM SELLING IT
>AND GET RID OF THAT SHITTY-ASS TRUCK WHILE YOURE AT IT
>I-I sold it honey, its gone
>Good. Btw im pregnant. You better start watering down your comedy to appeal to a bigger audience. I need money bill. I need LOTS of money. Im a fucking QUEEN you pasty ginger motherfucker
>O-ok honey whatever you say I love you so much ;_;

Fucking cuck

>drill oil
>face turmoil

>watch one of his old bits
>starts off with how bullshit marriage is

GUT THE MUTT

Kek

...

THATS RIGHT I DELETED THE PLAYOFF GAME YOU MISSED TO PROVIDE FOR ME FUCK YOU I NEEDS MA REAL HOUSEWIVES NIQUH

kek

NIGGUH
*clap*
BREAK
*clap*
DAT
*clap*
FUCKIN
*clap*
DAWG'S
*clap*
NECK
*clap*
I AIN'T HAVIN NO CRAZY DAWG NEAR MY BABY NIGGUH

...

Next thing you'll tell me is Louis doesn't actually own and operate an interracial breeding ground.

GETCHO WHITE ASS IN HERE BILLY
>Wha-what's going on Nia? Why is there a tarp on the floor?
YOU FINNA BLAST THIS MUTT BILL
>Jesus Christ, Nia. Can't we just give her away? There's gotta be someone willing t-
GRIP THIS PIECE FOOL
>I d-don't want to d-do this, Nia.
GRAB THE STEEL BUSTA
>It d-doesn't have to b-be like this, honey.
TAKE IT
>I-I love you, baby. You know that.
POP THAT MUTHAFUCKIN DAWG FAGGOT
>Nia, p-please. I ain't built for no bodies, don't make m-
PUT TWO IN ITS DOME VANILLA FACE
>N-Nia
DO IT
>N-
NOW
>[gunshots]
>[German-Irish sobbing]
It's all in the game, Bill.

>rip on the married life and the men who get ball and changed
>become a literal cuckold and raise another man's child so you can keep up the illusion that everything is fine

He's so fucking pathetic

Why the FUCK did he marry her?

He said she punched him when they were living in new york

Love

And?

Imagine your average Sup Forums poster. Now imagine that when he got into middle age, one woman would suddenly show interest in him. That's what happened.

Reposting from a previous thread

>"insider" gossip incoming

The kid isnt his. Its black as fuck, at least 5 shades blacker than Nia even. Thats why they dont show it to anyone. Nia cheated on Bill with the nigger from that ""movie"" she had a "part" in last year. Its on vimeo and the dates check out.

I also know for a fact, when the baby was born Bill started making slight mentions for a paternity test, at which point Nia flipped the fuck out and ousted him from his own house. That was 2 weeks after the baby was born. Bill was living in a hotel for 5 days, eventually Nia's brother convinced him that the baby is super black because of some of their super black ancestors. Bullshit of course, but Bill desperately needs the lie. Especially when Nia's brother straight up told him that she would sooner file for divorce than let the baby have a paternity test. So, he apologized to her, swore he would drop the paternity test mentions and she took him back. I feel so fucking bad about the guy, I wish I never learned any of this shit.

He loves being abused

>German-Irish sobbing

>not providing the link to the video

vimeo.com/50934919

I think this is the one he's talking about, though this was uploaded 4 years ago. The story is obviously bullshit

He deserves everything he gets tbqh

>Nia touches a stripper's dick
>Burr remains loyal

There are no gods anymore

yeah she just touched it
100%

what is love

Baby don't hurt me

*smacks lips profusely* SO HOL UP HOL UP *hits bill* SO U BE SAYIN *drops baby* SO HOL UP U BE SAYIN *kills dog* AYYYOOOO SO U BE SAYIN *screams* U BE SAYIN *sells drumset* HOL UP HOL UP *clears dvr* SO U BE SAYIN *posts on instagram* HOL UP SO U BE SAYIN *posts on instagram* WE WUZ *does nothing* THE LOVELY NIA N SHIET?

these threads are full of the most pathetic people on Sup Forums and they need to make fun of a well known celebrity because they're faggot racists

but also consider Nia is a foil to bill in every fashion and he's as much as psycho as her, I understand you guys are virgins but after a while you don't want easy

Nice to see you here, Nia. Grab a mic.

Everyone here is just butt-hurt that ol' Billy Blowjob is getting older and more wiser. He mentioned a plenty that he doesn't want to be that angry fuck anymore.

Shouldn't have married an ungrateful nigger then

Cuckoldry is truly the thinking man's fetish.

Underrated

>whispering
h-hey guys bill burr here with the monday morning podcast uuuhhhh...Y-you might
>stops talking, sounds of him looking around can be heard
you might be wondering uuhh..why im whispering heheh...uuuhhh
>sounds increasingly nervous
heh i-its because the baby is sleeping...uuuhh..and
>suddenly a hellish shriek can be heard in the background
NNNIIIIIIIGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH
oh sweet jeesus nononono I was so careful no god please
>furious fast steps can be heard coming up the stairs
NIGGUH YOU BEST NOT BE DOIN YO GAY LIL PODCASS IN DA ATTIC AGAIN
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck the lovely nia oh god I need to hide
>bill can be heard going through stuff frantically trying to hide
>door busts down
>nia can be heard furiously breathing
WHERE ARE YOU LIL NIGGUH
>starts shuffling through stuff throwing shit around laughing and sniffing
I CAN SMELL YO PASTY LIL WHYT ASS YOU KNOW
>throws some boxes to the side
THERE'S MUH LIL TERRIFIED PIECE O' ASS
NO NIA PLEASE NIANIA D-D-DONT PL-
>podcast goes offline

Hi bill

Please post more, I need my laughs.

patrice must be so disappointed at bill.

remember when ant got fired and bill tried to stop him from attending the patrice benefit? since that day i started thinking so much less of bill. not what patrice would have wanted.

>there are kissless virgins here who can't understand how much great chemistry Bill has with Nia

youtube.com/watch?v=eQ7useQEABQ

Patrice would probably just bant with Bill that he knew he always needed some badass black pussy and call him BLACKED

Burr is terrified of dying alone. He even says Nia uses this against him whenever he gets a little TOO DEFIANT, because she knows that's his worst fear.

Nia is Bill's female equivalent. Gender-defensive men and women are made for eachother.

never tell a women your fears. make up something and watch how she'll quickly try to use it as leverage

hey everyone bill burr here with the monday morning podcast
>loud moaning and fucking noises can be heard in the background
h-heheh c-can you hear these noises?..uuuuhh t-the lovely nia is watching a porn parody as a joke
HEY TURN IT DOWN IN THERE
>an angry nigger replies
SHUT THE FUCK UP WHYT BOI BEFO' AH BEAT YO'ASS
>bill sounds nervous
h-heheh...she's with an old friend, such jokers
>the fucking becomes so loud the voices can be heard clearly at this point
-OH YES FUCK ME TYRONE FUCK MA CHOCOLATE HOLEZ TILL AH BLEED NIGGUUUHH OOOOOHHHHH
OH FUCK YES TAKE IT YOU GODDAMN DIRTY HO TAKE DAT BIG BLACK DICK
-YES! YES TYRONE! FUCK ME LIKE THAT LIL WHYT BOI NEVER EVER COULD
>bill sounds nervous and embarrassed to death
h-h-haha t-theyre playing a joke on me, those bastards
>the nigga is about to climax
-OH YEAH! OH GODDAMN ITS COMING YOU HO MAFFUGIN CUMMIN
NOT IN ME NIGGUH GO AND CUM ON DAT LIL CRACKAZ BALD ROUND PATHETIC FUCKIN HEAD
>rushed steps are heard, the door in bills room opens in a hurry
-OOOHH YEAH OH FUG YEAH TAKE IT LIL GINGER BOI FFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK
DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CUMMING ON MY FUCKING HEAD?? WHAT THE F U C K STOP SHIT SOME GOT IN MY MOUTH GODDAMIT
-ooooh...oooh yeah, ooh fuck, relax lil nigguh s'all ovah now.. u a good lil soldier
>bill can be heard whipping his head and begging the nigger to go
h-h-h-heheh...aaaahhhh...t-the lovely nia and her crazy pranks everyone!