I am a Degenerate

Hey Sup Forums, I have a drug test coming up in less than a week, probably 4 days. I'm a daily pot smoker. Smoke a minimum of 2 or 3 grams a day. It's a urine test. Is there anyway I'll be able to pass?

I know it's degenerate but please help me out. I need this job and I know it's my own fault for even being in this position but I could really use some help.

Someone post the pepe making trump memes with the 6 monitors i need it for this image

Go to your nearest head shop and buy the cleanser shit they have there and CHUG. You can also get someone else's urine.

What is the drug test for?
Are you in probation?

niacin and h2o
make sure to be pissing almost clear before you go in

Those are honestly the only 2 ideas I could think of. Do you know the best or one of the more trusted cleanser?

PLEASE RESPOND I NEED IT

it's for a security job.

what type of drug test? blood?

Has this worked for you?

Urine.

many times, currently on felony probation but i dont smoke anymore cuz it puts your body through a lot of stress aka diarrhea and hives

Well, people don't need a pothead to guard them.
Avoid taking the test and let someone clean get the job.

drink shit tons of water, up to and including that day, when you go in you should be pissing what looks almost like clear water

Clorox works like a charm.

a fellow I know passed a urine test by buying a urine substitute. I think it was called Urine-luck (no joke) he cut a hole in his pocket so that he could get it through his pants,

Get someone else's piss bro , and drink it

neat flag

Nah, just fail the test. I'd rather not get shot in public because you were too high to notice a group of mudshits walking around with rifles.

Buy some drug detox. Follow the directions precisely or you're fucked

I heard cranberry juice helps if you drink a ton of it to cleanse, but I can't back it factually so your mileage may vary.

Thanks ameribro

They sell this cleanser stuff at GNC. Idk if it will work but I'd try that. Or use a friend's piss.

Drink about a half gallon of bleach and make sure you pee is almost clear. Mix it with some water if you have trouble getting it down. 100% guaranteed you won't be worried about the test results.

CERTO peach pie filling

eat it all and drink a bunch of water. need 2 pee 3 times before you pee clean

you fucking degenerate mongoloid
fucking hang yourself
HURR I COULD LOSE THIS JOB IF I DON'T STOP SMOKING POT BUT I JUST CAN'T HELP IT I NEED TO SMOKE MORE POT HAHA 420 BRO IT'S NOT ADDICTIVE I JUST CAN'T STOP IT

you are d-o-n-e-FUCKED

Do moderate exercise like running and drink tons of water.

Also this should be a given, but quit smoking now until after you've taken the test and get a response. The test could show up as inconclusive instead of negative and they could call you back in for another.

The only way you're going to pass is with a fake penis and someone else's urine. 2-3 grams a day gets it deep into your system and it would take months to flush out.

Marijuana's greatest defenders are its greatest slaves. They literally can't, and don't want to live their lives without it, and refuse to acknowledge any negatives that come from it.

It's a miracle of nature to them, and they're slaves to it. Pathetic.

you burgers have states where weed is legal

move to one of those states

If your skinny it should be no problem, if your fat fuck though it may be tougher.

Drink lotsa water/gatorade/cranberry Juice, eat loadsa greens.

you can buy fake piss at certain headshops or vitamin shops. my friend used some recently to get a job and he passed. you heat it up in the microwave and attach a heating pad to it and tie it to your thigh. before yuo pour it in the cup shake it a little so it looks like you actually pissed it out.

good luck user. our government has retarded laws and hopefully someday soon this won't be a problem.

even if you live in a state like that i'm pretty sure employers can have a "no druggie faggots allowed" policy on their job descriptions

This is the only correct response in the thread. But there's another problem, THC gets into the fat in your body and if you happen to burn any of that fat, THC will show up in a urine test even FAR into the future. Don't do drugs if you don't want to deal with the consequences.

find a different job you degenerate.

The cleanser shit doesn't work. Fake piss is your only hope but it has to be perfectly heated to your body temp and you probably won't be able to pull it off.

You're fucked. Stop smoking pot.

Blame the laws instead of an inability to accept personal responsibility for any actions. He knew this test was coming, and still couldn't stop puffing the reefer.

>Smoke a minimum of 2 or 3 grams a day
Literally kill yourself. If they make an urine test you are fucked for months anyway. Might as well not even try

Hey OP,

Do not listen to these faggots that are telling you to buy these "body cleanser bullshit". Ive been smoking for 15 years and i know tons of people who went through the same predicament as you.

Everyone i know who used this body cleanser drink shit always failed. Its too risky and honestly it works different on everyone, depends on how big you are mass wise so the equation is wrong from the start.

What i would suggest is to buy synthetic urine or get a clean piss from somebody.

I can vouche for that synthetic urine because i had to use it for a contracting gig i had for a prestige school district where i had to go into their main MDF room to work on their internet/network. The test came out to be inconclusive at first so they sent it to a lab to get it further checked out.

To tell you the truth, i was worried as hell and i was about to give up on my contract but the test came out negative.

Synthetic urine kit should cost you about 30 to 80 bucks at the headshops and i bought the cheapest one available so buy whatever you are comfortable on spending.

God speed user.

Such an attitude fitting for a cuck.

Give up on your country and kys. Let the muslims take over your land and women you fucking cuck

Anybody have any luck with UPass? That seems like a pretty trusted synthetic urine and it's inexpensive

Keep making excuses for the OP and attacking with irrelevant points instead of accepting the concept of personal responsibility, that surely shows that you're in the right. Rules and laws that everybody has no trouble following seems to be impossible for you.

Fuck off.

Where are you from boi?

>defending degenerates with no willpower
>hurr you are the cuck
If OP really wants the job he should stop smoking in the first place, so kill yourself as well retard

Following rules and law to a T just confirms that you are a bootlicking faggot who loves being anally fucked by your masters.

As long as people respect each other and keep their morals in check, they should be allowed to do whatever the fuck they want on their own time.

Tell me otherwise you fucking faggot.
Pro tip: you just fucking cant.

>Germany giving advice.

Thanks for the laugh kraut. Now stop being a cuck and get that muslim dick out of your ass and mouth.

Refusing to follow rules because you disagree with them makes you a fucking pathetic child, and your post just doubles up on that, making you a fucking pathetic, petulant child. Go toke up again, you degenerate. I'm sure you can stop at any time you want, after all, just like the rest of them.

Instead of taking personal responsibility and taking control of your life, you keep smoking and buying synthetic urine and sweating when your job wants to test you.

>reduced to ad hominem
No argument again, go smoke some pot

shave all your hair inc your pubes

your fucked. I work at a lab that tests urine. synthetic urine they test for, and adding stuff to it before you give it to them and having an adulterated sample even if its negative is worse than a positive. they have to report you for fucking with it. if its just positive you won't get the job but you'll at least not be on a list of people who have tried to cheat.

they actually have to keep your pos test confidential according to HIPPA but if you try and fake it or cheat any employer will have access to that list you get put on for faking

Degenerate toke head here.

No, you fucking dolt. Be more responsible and stop making the rest of us fit in with the weed smoker stereotype.

This

You had to have known that you were going to have to take a piss test more than ~4 days prior to actually having to take it. If you are daily like you say, and have been so for a while, you're fucked.

Instead of cheating, why don't you try and be a big boy, accept that you fucked up because you couldn't manage the foresight required to stop so you could pass, and try again with a different job :^)

Yes i fucking smoke but i make more money than you can ever imagine boy.

I help america run by working in the telecommunication business. I pay my taxes every fucking year and i do not get in trouble with the law.

Basically i am your model citizens but what about you?

Hows it feel knowing that a pothead who didnt even graduate high school or get my GED makes more money than you?

Im looking forward to the taste of your tears but the question is, how salty is it?

Hover over the flag to see, he's from Cyprus

Considering how upset that you are, and the fact that you're going this far out of your way to prove that you're not a fucking loser shows just how big of a fucking loser you are.

I, of course, bow before your greatness, "model citizens". I had NO idea I was dealing with the entire telecommunication business, that's quite humbling.

> I know I'm a degenerate

They why did you come here reeeeeee

>dealing with the entire telecommunication business.

You lost yourself there buddy.

Also its fucking tasting very salty.

Where I work if you're pissing clear (because you're drinking a lot of water), they make you retake the test. There's no penalty for that happening, and it gives you chance to flush out more of the thc or whatever. The lab they use has about a one week turnaround.

Safest way, no shit: do not take the test. Tell them you've accepted another offer or whatever. Get clean, then reapply.

You fail the test, they may not let you reapply.

So I'm thinking of either drinking a shit ton of water and then taking B12 pills to make my piss yellow, or getting clean piss and keeping it right next to my balls with a handwarmer wrapped around it.