Anybody know any variations of the "Imagine being Arnold in this scene" pasta?

Anybody know any variations of the "Imagine being Arnold in this scene" pasta?

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oh yes takes me back
>see on TV guide True lies is gonna be on tv this weekend
>FUCK YES
>wekend comes around
>movie seen it dozen times know exactly when this scene shows up.
>get porno mag I found in neighbours shed
>look at a couple of pages
>full on erection
>scene is about to happen start jerking it hard
>jamie shows up
>go full fucking bayblade and yell let it rip
>cum on tv
>younger brother walks in
>hide my shame
>wipe's the tv with his sweater
>"you got the Tv dirty, is the movie done yet I wanna play Nintendo"

Imagine being Pablo in that photo and having to be like "damn, Chloe Moretz, you're very good, all sexy with your cool body and horrible chubby face. I really would have sex with you" when all she wants to do is throw herself at another Latina Of 16 in Chloe's dressing room. Seriously imagine having to be that Mexican guy and not just open that door while Chloe Grace Moretz wears her filthy body in front of you, sunlight revealing her pierced nipples and camel's leg, and just stand there, over and over again, As she slowly steps away from her car. Not only have to tolerate her monstrous fucking vagina but her arrogant attitude while everyone in the place tells her that STILL HAVE AND CURSED, CHLOE GRACE MORETZ SEES * SO *? Because they are not the ones who have to stand there and watch their squat chubby face of michelin placed flaccid and bland in their disgusting body of refrigerator. You've been throwing nothing but a healthy diet of firm and dark brunettes and then alleged victims of violation of the poster by ALL YOUR CARRERA coming out of the slums in Mexico. Never before have you seen something so fucking disgusting, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's coming out of your badly proportioned ass while you open those badly fitting sports pants, cockily confident that you get the chance to get paid to stand there and To delight in her "statuesque beauty" (this is how she describes herself), the beauty she worked so hard for 7 days a week in the previous months. And then she asks to open another door, and you know that you could kill every person in this parking lot before your security could knock you down, but you sit there and you stand, because you're a fucking Mexican boy. You're not going to miss your future driver's career for this. Just hold on. Grind your face and hold it.

Cringe

Imagine being the xenomorph in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Sigourney Weaver, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with white panties and ...

dammit, cont
having to be all like "damn, Sigourney Weaver, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with white panties and gross flat ass. I would totally impregnate you, both my character and the real animatronic me." when all it really wants to do is lay eggs in another 16 year old in its dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be the xenomorph and not only hide in that ship while Sigourney Weaver flaunts her flat ass in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her legs going directly into her back, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she works it. Not only having to tolerate her disgusting fucking gluteus maximus visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, SIGOURNEY WEAVER GOT A BOOTY LIKE THAT?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her strut around in her disgusting granny panties; never before have you seen legs directly connect into someones spine before, no ass, no hips, you didn't even know that existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of colonists and later alleged space marines for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of LV-426. You've never seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's trickling down from her lower back to her knee caps as she shakes her ass to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to hide there and revel in her "voluptuous (for that is what she calls herself)" ass, the ass she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could eviscerate every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're a fucking xenomorph. You're not going to lose your galactical conquest over this. Just bear it. Hide both mouths and bear it.

Imagine being Jack in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Ashi, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monkey face. I would totally have sex with you, both my suicidal ghost self and the real me." when all he really wants to do is get back to the past. Like seriously imagine having to be Jack and not only stand in that cemetery while Ashi flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her battle scars and burnt skin, and just stand there, while she gave you that stupid look. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as the entire fanbase tells her she's EXTRA THICC and DAMN, ASHI LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of Southern bounty hunters and evil nature spirits and later alleged shapeshifting masters of darkness for your ENTIRE LIFE coming straight out of the boonies of the Pit of Hate. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to be thankful to stand there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with her abusive mother all her life. And then the Genndy calls for 4 more episodes with this bitch, and you know you could kill every single person in the production studio before the security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Samurai Jack. You're not going to lose your chance to find your sword over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

Imagine being Dipper in this scene and having to be all like "Damn, Mabel, you're such a great sister, with how you caused the apocalypse and left me and everybody else to die. I totally want to spend the rest of my life with you, both the soulless copy you replaced me with and the real me" when all he really wants to do is go on supernatural adventures with with his great uncle. Like seriously imagine having to be Dipper and not only stand there in that courtroom while Mabel flaunts her forced as hell cuteness at you, the blinding neon lighting shining off of her crooked braces and ass-covering hair, and just stand there, while she gives you that stupid look. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking personality, but her haughty attitude as the entire fanbase calls her "the funniest character EVER" and "Awwww, Mabel's so cute and quirky!", because they're not the ones who have to live with her and watch this selfish demon child reach lows you didn't even know a little girl could sink to until this day. You've been fucking nothing but a steady diet of redheaded lumberjills and rich blondes for this ENTIRE SUMMER coming straight out of the boonies of Gravity Falls. You've never met anybody this fucking disgusting before, and now you can swear you can taste the spittle flying from her mouth as she babbles about rainbows and glitter or whatever the hell, smugly assured that you're enjoying being the brother to such an "adorable (for that is what she calls herself)" girl, a girl who worked so hard with you sacrificing everything for her your whole lives. And then Alex calls you for one last episode with this dumbass contributing next to nothing, and you know that you could shove her into the nearest woodchipper before anybody could stop you, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Dipper Pines. You're not gonna lose your chance to save the world over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

This pasta is funny as hell, but anyone who says they wouldn't is fucking gay

Alexa and Garret one is pretty good.

What about the others?

Please someone post the joe rogan one

>barely concealing her legs going directly into her back

Where can it be found?

Please post Imagine being a janitor

Imagine being Mike Love in the Pet Sounds recording sessions and having to be all like "damn, Brian, you fuckin' brilliant, all profound with your pretentious songwriting and horrific cringe-worthy lyrics. I would totally jam this track out with you, both in the studio and in a live show" when all he really wants to do is compose surf rock about babes in your home. Like seriously imagine having to be Mike and not only sit in that chair while Brian sings his disgusting druggy lyrics in front of you, the favorable production barely concealing his high pitch whiny voice, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that song. Not only having to tolerate his fat, boy-like visage but his shy attitude as visitors in the studio tells him he's THE MOST TALENTED SONGWRITER OF ALL TIME and DAMN, BRIAN WILSON WRITES LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his beady fucking aspie face belt out shitty lyrics you didn't even know could be put on paper before that day. You've been creating nothing but a healthy string of surf pop hits with your bandmates and later legal defendant for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the suburbs in Inglewood. You've never even heard anything this fucking artsy fartsy before, and now you swear you can see the sweat that's breaking out on his punchable autistic face as he begins to spew out another verse, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and work with his "provocative (for that is what he calls the song)" masterpiece, the masterpiece he worked so hard for with Wrecking Crew in the previous months. And then the manager calls for another take, and you know you could out-sue every single person in this room before your lawyers could ask for a pay raise, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Mike Love. You're not going to lose your continuing musical career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

Imagine being a janitor on Sup Forums and having to be all like "damn, Sup Forums, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your porn threads and horrific disgusting BRAAAPposting. I would totally laugh at your forced memes, both my tripcode and my anonymous self." when all he really wants to do is delete the entire fucking board and redirect it to . Like seriously imagine having to do it for free while a BLACKED poster flaunts his thread in front of you, the "what's next for her career?"-posts barely concealing the off-topicness of Sup Forums, and just sit there, thread after thread, waifu after waifu, while spiderman says racist and anti-semetic things. Not only having to tolerate crab legs and cuckposting but Sup Forums's endless arguing about capeshit as everyone on says MARVEL BTFO and DAMN, HOW WILL DC *EVER* RECOVER?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and sift through the report queue deleting threads that make you want to kill yourself. You've been nothing but a hardass who curates forums and ensures high quality content your ENTIRE LIFE and once birthed a new way to look at 70s' cinema. You've never even seen anything this fucking repetitive before, and now you swear you can taste the reddit that's breaking out on the front page as Sup Forums continues to bathe in its own shit, smugly assured that you, the janitor, are enjoying the opportunity to DO IT FOR FREE and revel in Sup Forums's "contrarian" (for that is what it calls itself) memes, the memes it worked so hard on shitposting for years. And then a new IMAGINE thread appears, and you know you could ban every single person on this board before the admins could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're a fucking janitor. You're not going to lose your future moderator status over this. Just bear it. Delete the cunnypost after three hours and bear it.

I know there's a Christopher Tolkien one with The Five Armies but I don't have it saved.

This is good.

Post the arnorld one

Imagine being Bronn in that scene and having to be all like "damn, sandsnek, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck Lollys in his keep. Like seriously imagine having to be Bronn and not only sit in that cell while Rosabell Laurenti Sellers flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, ROSABELL SELLERS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and stokeworths and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE KNIGHTHOOD coming straight out of the boonies in King's Landing. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then D&D calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Bronn. You're not going to lose your future lordship over this. Just bear it. Hide your face

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Imagine being Christopher Tolkien in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Peter Jackson, your fuckin' directing fine, all progressive with your elf warrior woman OC and horrific CGI Legolas brick jumping. I would totally have sex with you, both my father and me." when all he really wants to do is piece together another 60 year old manuscript in his study. Like seriously imagine having to be Christopher and not only sit in that chair while Jackson flaunts his disgusting original characters in front of you, the CGI barely concealing that all the soldiers have the same face, and just sit there, scene after scene, hour after hour, while actors performed those lines. Not only having to tolerate this monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, THE HOBBIT IN 48 FPS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his fat fucking gremlin hands contort your fathers legacy into types of bullshit you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been doing nothing but reading a healthy diet of your fathers myths and songs and later alleged memes for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in England. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the parkinsons that's breaking out on Billy Connolies CGI face as Jackson phones it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "revolutionary (for that is what he calls it" story, the story your father worked so hard for decades ago. And then the producer calls for another extended cut, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the cinema security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Tolkien. You're not going to tarnish your fathers work over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

In 2007 after being approached by Scientology recruiters, Joe Rogan is reported to have said, "Why join a cult... when I can BE a cult?!" Allegedly he shoved the recruiters to the ground and ran away laughing maniacally. He dropped off the UFC radar for 5 months until his agent finally located him in a small African village near lake Victoria, leading an apocalyptic death cult. The UN report on the aftermath remains classified but rumors speak of mass graves, human sacrifice, and murals of Mr. Rogan's face made out of the bones of children. Beneath the village it is said that the cult of Ogamboo Metukalu (The One) had 2,000 slave laborers digging a secret underground temple complex where the cult intended to live after the Apocalypse. Mr. Rogan's agent says the Hollywood star has put that part of his life behind him and chalks it up to poor judgment brought on by a flu, but if that is the case, why does Joe continue to make routine trips to Africa to this day? And why are cases of missing children around Lake Victoria more than 20 times higher than the average of the rest of Africa? Mr. Rogan's agent declined to comment

Imagine being Jamie on that podcast and having to be all like "damn, Joe Rogan, you fuckin' straight, all hetero with your dick sucking lips and homoerotic comments about UFC fighters. I would believe you enjoy sex with women, both my persona and the real me." when all he really wants to do is look up another Livescience article. Like seriously imagine having to be Jamie and not only sit in that chair while Joe Rogan flaunts his barely-repressed homolust in front of you, the banter with Eddie Bravo barely concealing his homosexuality and attraction to men, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while he says gay shit. Not only having to tolerate his twinkface but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he FUCKED HOT CHICKS and DAMN, JOE ROGAN'S WIFE LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his homo fucking face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been posting nothing but a healthy diet of weird and interesting science articles and later Youtube clips of large beasts killing other animals for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Ohio. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the semen that's glistening on his dick sucking lips as he makes another homoerotic comment about Nick Diaz's form, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "powerful (for that is what he calls himself)" heterosexuality, the heterosexuality he worked so hard to project when he married his trophy wife several years ago. And then Joe calls for another clip of Anderson Silva's weigh in, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before Eddie Bravo could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Jamie. You're not going to lose your future podcasting career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.