PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), a young officer in the Royal Navy, is determined to find the fabled Trident of Poseidon to free his father, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), from his curse to ferry the dead into the afterlife. Henry's ship accidentally ventures into the Devil's Triangle and is besieged by undead pirates led by Captain Armando Salazar (Javier Bardem), who wants revenge on Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) for trapping him there years before.

Henry is blamed for Salazar's massacre and sentenced to death, whereupon he meets Sparrow and Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), a young astronomer who has found the map to the Devil's Triangle. The trio joins forces to find the relic and depart on Jack's new ship, the Dying Gull. Meanwhile, Salazar and his men escape from the Devil's Triangle and force Sparrow's old nemesis Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) to help them. They intercept and destroy the Dying Gull, but Sparrow, Henry and Carina manage to escape and join forces with Barbossa, who restores Sparrow's old ship, the Black Pearl.

The group finds the Trident of Poseidon in an uncharted island, but are ambushed by Salazar and his men. Henry destroys the Trident of Poseidon, lifting all the curses from the sea, and Barbossa, realizing that Carina is his long-lost daughter, sacrifices himself to kill the reborn Salazar and his men. Henry and Carina get together and Henry and his mother Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) welcome Will back, while Sparrow and his crew set off on a new adventure.

In a post-credits scene, Will finds himself being haunted by Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), who wants revenge on him, Elizabeth and Sparrow.

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sounds like garbage. all but the first are ass

Elizabeth isn't in it though. Confirmed fake.

With all the curses lifted, I was pretty high for another movie without all the magic, mythical, and stupid bullshit and just getting a nice pirates movie of them stealing treasure from humans, not undead. Can we get that just once more, please? Davy Jones makes sense, all the other shit is just stupid and made to work in Jack's favor.

pfffft yeah right...

good meme, friend. Poseidon? itll be neptunes trident, jews hate greek mythology and cater to romans more so. its part of their doctrine..

also, spot on on the story, you must work here too. for the plebs, AMA

t. worker for this particular movie

>bringing back Bill Nighy

Let the man rest! Bring in Eric Roberts or something

watch black sails

This is literally exactly what happens, I just watched it

is it kino? , I know it has tits

yep

>Henry and Carina

Fuck this shit.

>here we go again mate...

is bill nighy's name pronounced like the science man or is it like 'nigee'?

The first one

She is.

So is this movie set 18 years after At Worlds End? And Jack, sans immortality, looks the same?

How old is Henry turner meant to be?

this movie takes place 5 years after On Stranger Tides, Barbossa confirms this in the movie so how long that is after movie 3

Just got home from this. I really enjoyed it.

A satisfying end to the saga

....or is it?

1 > 2 > 4 > 5 > 3

There is no Pirates of the Caribbean movie without a supernatural angle.

>4 ahead of anything

nigga pls

eh, I liked the second. First was the best though.

What's the last line of the movie? Not the post credits stuff

3 was better than 5
Yeah it's hot nonsense, but at least it didn't go THIS ONE ARTIFACT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL THE SEA MAGIC ECKS DEE

Furthermore if it breaks all the curses, how the fuck can Davy Jones possibly still exist?

1 > 4 (only because of the Spaniards) > 5 > 3 > 2

Will can go on land every 10 years, so Henry must be around 19-20 and Jack could be around Johnny Depps real age. Which would be pretty realistic if he weren't an alcoholic.

>THIS ONE ARTIFACT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL THE SEA MAGIC ECKS DEE
How is this harder to believe than all the other supernatural shit? One source for all the crap doesn't sound too bad, specially after the 3rd confirmed that deities exist.

Wrong

2>1>3>5>4

>2>1
>anything better than 1
objectively wrong

Most parts of 5 beat 1, it's just overall 1 is much better and compact.

1 doesnt have based Davy Jones or Kraken

>Barbossa dies again
Will it matter this time?

Probably not. Too many fans will want him back after a performance like that.

>Kraken
Was a shitty plot device. First it destroys a ship instantly, then it does the whole tentacle routine and can't even spot Jack on the boat. If they wouldn't cheat like that, it'd be too powerful. Fuck the Kraken.

Maybe. Jack saying he's going beyond the horizon kind of rung with me that he might be going to get Barbossa, similar to how Barbossa went and got Jack. Not to mention that Will dropping his job of moving the dead at sea to the afterlife leaves a lot up in the air.

What's the the Black Pear that makes it the fastest ship for 3 decades? Is it magical too?

>gets compass from Tia Dalma
>new film retcons it so he gets it from a captain of a ship he was the crew of
Why the fuck did they do this?

2 is my favorite as well. 1 does nothing for me.

>2>3>1>5>4>>>>>>>>>alien: covenant.

nah. even before the black pearl was raised from the depths by davy jones, she was still the fastest ship ever built. all jones did was give her a sick black paint job when he revived her.

yeah, that was kind of odd. they retconned several things from the last book as well but whatev.

>2 was fantastic
>3 wasn't that good
>both were filmed right after each other

What the fuck happened?

They didn't feel like it though. 2 was still pretty personal, while 3rd increased the scale massively.

Given how she talks weird, maybe she meant that she created the compass or that some of the shit she did caused him to get it?

No, it's in the books and the movie that she gave it to him. How does some literal who end up with it giving it to Jack Sparrow?

>The Preacher Mermaid romance was my favourite part out of all the films and I would have liked to see them again

the line she says is "the compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", meaning the key to the chest of davy jones. implies that he gets the compass from her.

They all look like they're crap.

Her words are that he bartered it from her as I recall. There's not much ambiguity there unless she stole it from him and sold out back. Or this new guy stole it, but I've not seen the film yet to know if that makes any sense

I think that boils down to story pacing. 3 had to finish what 2 set in motion, but 3 added all sorts of shit so it feels all convoluted.

>female
>astronomer
lol

Carina?

The second and the third are extremely well directed, despite their slipshod scripts. Verbinski is criminally underrated.

>post credits scene
>sequel bait
Fucking wew

The trailer keeps pushing "THE FINAL ADVENTURE"

Are they lying? Or is it going to be a spinoff?

Every single Pirates movie has had a post-credits scene. I kind of doubt this will get a sequel though, it's budget was enormous and there's no way it'll recoup it.

It's not that the trident is the source, it just has the power to break all curses.

And maybe Davy Jones is human in the next one?

Agreed
Second was watchable but the original is the only one that was good(great even, despite stealing everything from monkey island)

doubt it. you can see his tentacles in his shadow during the post credits scene.

and his bloody claw for that matter.

inb4 it was just will's dream. the barnacles left on the floor after he wakes up imply that davy is still salty as fuck.

Is Jarvier Bardem even a pirate or did people just see him on a ship and assume he's a pirate? Spaniards were famous pirate hunters.

I haven't even seen it and I know he's a pirate hunter, it's in the trailer.

>>female
>>astronomer
>lol
That is a joke they run with the entire film. The minute she starts saying anything scientific or even remotely intelligent they all call here a witch and try to kill her(except the pirates who thing an astronomer is a person who breeds donkeys).

No one takes her seriously in the entire film. Even when she meets an actual astronomer and starts to talk about the lens on his telescope the astronomer whispers "witch... you're a witch..."

He was the greatest pirate hunter of all time. His ghost effects are also really good (especially his hair).

That's one issue I had with the film le men are stupid and females are smart.

Both are smart, don't portray all men as idiots, it's a bit like the ghostbuster's film

That is a theme through all alien films though. Only women (and androids) and smart and capable.

The new guy explains to Jack how the compass works as he dies. Doesn't make sense that he nicked it from Jack first.

She's mostly surrounded by soldiers and pirates, not the smartest bunch, specially given how it plays in the Caribbean. Only the scene with the other astronomer were dumb.

oh fuck wrong thread. Had alien thread open and that film had exact same thing.

She is, at the very end.

>"No female has ever touched my Hershel!"

I thought 3 was the best one...

Jesus, they actually called her theme for the soundtrack that way.

>the final adventure
>but it's not
The final adventure 2?

Why would you believe shit like that in the first place?

"Yeah, we hit the billion mark with the movie ... so guess it's time to stop, making more would be just obscene!"

I thought the movie was titled Salazar's Revenge?

also how does a literally who came into the possession of the Black Pearl, the fastest ship?
How did the british ship, despite being 3 times larger and can catch up to the pearl?

what's capitan salazard's theme called?
one on youtube does not match the brass

3>2>4>1>5
imagine trying extra hard to not enjoy movies and you'll understand yourselves

Did you try El Matador Del Mar?

2>1>3>5
Never seen 4. Don't want to.

>that moment when Elizabeth comes up and they all hug

It made not much sense, she worse a dress and looked rich ... so why was her son some suicidal pleb? Also why isn't she the king of pirates? Why can't she wait for Henry to introduce his gf before making out with Will, now that she will have all the time on the earth for it?

2>1>5>3>4

1 > 2 > 3 > 4 > 5

They get worse as they go. 5 is fucking appalling

It's actually: 1>5>3>2>

> "This boy, in the bird's nest .. Jack in the Sparrow"

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

what the fuck is effy from skins doing there user

The Silent Mary

Completely forgot Elizabeth became King of Pirates. Looks like the script writers did too.

How is Paul McCartney in the movie ?

I know he only has a small part, I'm curious.

>Davy Jones stands up in front of all the Pirates who live in the Caribbean and pulls out his gun.

>"Don't you know, Pirates of the Caribbean? Dead men tell no tales."

literally walked out of the theater when this happened

Much better than Keith, very short and not a LOOK, HERE IS A CELEB CAMEO moment.

Disgusting

Good for him because he wasn't really that good of an actor in the Beatles' movies.

i cried like a bitch at the end

It was like 30 seconds, he was not a good actor in it.

Keith was much better. Paul McCartney can't act for shit.

Why would you say that....

youtube.com/watch?v=v0yrJs8HuBU

I wont watch the next one without Rush DESU. Literally the best part of any of the pirate films.

Even the 2nd one where he's only in it for less than 10 seconds at the end.

Keith stole too much attention and looked lost, Paul was just there for couple seconds, so couldn't fuck up much.

>implying they won't resurrect him
Though weird thing is most reviews focused on Salazar while he didn't even matter while Barbossa was easy the third most important character after the 2 new leads and had the most emotional moments.

THINGS RETCONED:
>Lizzy is no longer king of the pirates if anything it seemed like Barbossa was (this could be explained away that she gave him the title but it never was)
>Jack get his piece of eight (his beads) from a random pirate as tribute and it's not given any special significance as a piece of eight at all.
>If no one captains the Duchman now who is ferrying souls? I never saw it as a curse per say but a duty (it can be argued that they don't care about that just getting will back but you'd think he'd feel some duty towards the job after 20 years.)

Anything else?

Compass

How jack got his name

it's alright

She was only there so she could walk up that hill and be cheesy with those other shitters. I wish they had all died, easily the worst part of the movie.