What did I do to deserve this?

What did I do to deserve this?
>gay robots making out
>clueless crew (again)
>horrible space Jews playing southerners
>jumbled mess of fuck
>let's spend this whole movie introducing engineers
Oh fuck you


Aliens general

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>introducing
*killing

I should have been more clear
Let's spend Prometheus introducing the engineers
Hey still interested in them?
Well fuck you we are gonna kill them off

Alien was a feminist shill psy ops job from the begining. What did you expect?

Is Alien v.s. Predator canon?

I unironically like the idea that Aliens are bred by Predators,

The timelines dont make sense so no... they are just cash grab flicks.

>David perfects the Xenomorphs into their current form
>David was designed by humans
>Humans were the real monsters all along

AVP games and books are canon to me, and they're book and vidya kino.

The movies don't adopt what the actual franchise (AVP) was about. It's disgraceful. Fuck I'm not even going to think about it before I get mad.

It's sad. The lore of the vidya and books is literally better than the movie lore - that includes AVP and Prometheus and Covenant

Well... Technically prom/cove are as much of a cash grab in that regard.

>Is Alien v.s. Predator canon?
no one ever gave a fuck about those movies user

retard man child

>people will take a fat ogre shit on Aliens because it's a dumb action movie but defend Prometheus and Covenant to the death because it's Ridley Scott
Kill me lads

It was better than every Alien movie aside from the original

just because that shit was your first exposure doesn't make it good youngfag

Can someone explain some shit to me?
1. what happened to walter? he was kicking david's ass and then disappeared?
2. who the fuck were those people on the ground when david dropped the virus on them? why didnt they all make aliens like the virus did with the humans?
3. why the fuck did (((they))) force an interracial sex scene with the shower scene at the end? i couldn't believe it, every fucking movie nowdays

Humans didnt program david to be a psychopath that was davids choice... AI is evil beware of science and all its lies... follow faith instead and yee shall find salvation or something.... oh and feminism is best ism. I think thats what ridley scott is saying.

Do you realize that they were not engineers right? Look at the "engineers" eyes in Covenant and then look at the engineers eyes in every scene from Prometheus. Different species confirmed, this proves all the theory that David uses this planet as a huge lab, preparing to create an army and make war in the engineers way "I learn of their ways", using the massive bioweapon that everybody knows. For what purpose? Exterminate the engineers and all of their creations along the galaxy, like humans, but first he needs a huge army.

No, this only proves that IA androids are the big mistake that mankind could do

youtube.com/watch?v=wK8kK4hY6PA

next one should be interesting

Timeline of the Alien series doesn't make sense. How the fuck did the Nostromo land on LV-426 and find a derelict enginner ship, complete with xeno eggs when DAVID was the one that made them and not the engineers? Is there going to be a 3rd prequel movie where he goes to another Engineer world and throws some eggs in one of their ships that just crashes into LV-426?

>>gay robots making out

This will be reality soon.

>what happened to walter? he was kicking david's ass and then disappeared?
I think it is Walter we see at the end. Not David minus a hand. Walter with David consciousness or something

Give me an address

why do so many 90's born queers think those pieces of shit have any bearing on anything? they were cash ins because people had wanted to see the concept on screen for years, but they were made for kids and were complete garbage.

>Is there going to be a 3rd prequel movie where he goes to another Engineer world and throws some eggs in one of their ships that just crashes into LV-426?
Ridley Scott is directing two more already greenlit alien films. He said that Prometheus wasn't a prequel to alien and in the sequel to Prometheus it would not lead into alien

I wanna see the homeworld from the engineers infested with millions of xenomorphs killing everything and fucking the oldest civilization in the universe

>1. David either killed him and then swapped bodies with him, or killed him and cut off his arm to take his place. Either way, Walter is dead.

>2. Engineers from Prometheus, they made humans. The virus reacts differently between species, also, it's likely David had engineered it to some degree to affect them in a certain way.

3. It felt incredibly out of place in an alien movie. I have no idea.

>gay robots
>gay
>robots
they can't even have sex, much less fall in love, one is a fucking psycho who doesn't love anything, the other was fucking programed not to feel stuff...

the only gay thing about Covenant is your posting threads about it.

The original script (before Lindelof got involved) for Prometheus directly led to the events of the original film. The downed spacecraft which the crew of Nostromo discovers in Alien (1979) was on its way to exterminate life on Earth. Obviously things went wrong and it crashed on LV-426.

But obviously that didn't leave room for five other films.

You could easily tie in the events of AVP into the Alien series. Just say that the Engineers were in a war with the Predator species and the Engineers created the xenos to turn the tide of the conflict. Eventually the Predators got their hands on some xeno eggs and used them to train their hunters. A more satisfying backstory than Ridley's prequel trilogy.

Ridley Scott is a hack and the Alien series is officially dead.

>paying attention to retards who think Prometheus or covenant is decent

the minute they say anything about those films or alien 3/4 being decent I just ignore em.

There were two broad "categories" of issues with Alien Covenant.

On one side, you have issues of execution. This is stuff like the shitty CGI, lack of suspense because the aliens are just shown to you plain as day, the characters have absolutely ZERO characterization and it's impossible to care about any of them, the actions of the characters are somehow even MORE retarded and nonsensical than the shit people did in Prometheus, etc.

And then you have overarching problems at the very foundation of the movie. Namely, the fact that they tried to make a movie that was both a sequel to Prometheus AND a prequel to Alien. And what happens is we get this bolted-together frankenstein of a movie where it can't decide whether it wants to follow up on the story/characters/themes of Prometheus, or whether it want's to be a "haunted house in space" like Alien. And it falls apart on both sides

- Because it wanted to be an Alien prequel, it completely kills the build-up that Prometheus ended with. Oh, you wanted to find out more about the Engineers or why they wanted to destroy humanity or what happened back on the last planet to the Engineers there? Oh, you wanted to continue Shaw's story? LOL NOPE. All you get are a few write-off scenes. Oh, and the Captain character gets some pointless likes about being religious and "having faith". Because, like, that was a theme in Prometheus or something, I guess.

- The Alien parts were also similarly underwhelming, because it was a 1:1 retread of Alien 1. Protip: suspense/horror doesn't WORK if you know exactly what's going to happen. Everyone know how xenomorphs work. There's nothing new or shocking about facehuggers and chestbursters and xenomorphs. There wasn't a single new idea presented in this movie. And it completely falls flat. So it just ends up being "that shitty alien 1 knockoff except with shit characters and poor pacing"

>horrible space Jews playing southerners

>Guy who was born in GA and went to school in NC, goes to baptist church growing up.
>Not southern

user, that is about as southern as it gets.

Shit that's coming out this summer, I can't wait!

Prometheus is fucking shit-tier garbage, but the irony is that Covenant actually makes me somehow like that movie more. It's not because Prometheus is any good, but because at least that movie was bold enough to try its own thing instead of just being an Alien retread.

As opposed to the rest of the Alien franchise, which is a big boys movie for real big boys like me who don't even pee the bed anymore :^)

The year is 2020. In an executive meeting, John McTiernan, director of Die Hard, pitches his spiritual sequel to the franchise. The movie is not quite Die Hard, as it will move away from the original action-based narrative of the original movie, and focus more instead on creating a cinematic universe. The board goes wild, cinematic universes make a lot of money. Who cares if McTiernan is dropping a lot of hints towards the fact that these movies will be full of philosophy and other things that maybe shouldn't be included in a franchise like Die Hard. Who carers if he seems hell bent on creating some strange franchise link-up with Predator, which he also directed. Who cares if he seems so completely sure he wants to remove the entire events of the second Die Hard movie from the canon to do this. Cinematic universe franchise make a lot of money. Board executives like money.

The year is 2025. Die Hard: Ozymandias vs Predator is released. The film features a five minute action sequence with a CGI Bruce Willis running through a jungle being chased by Predator. The rest of the movie is the same CGI Bruce Willis holding a conversation with a CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger about romantic era poetry.

"I wandered lonely as a cloud," says CGI Bruce Willis, "William Blake, wasn't it?"
"I think you will find that was Wordsworth", replies CGI Schwarzenegger.

The audience is already asleep.

>David created the Xenomorphs!

Are we just going to completely forget about the Queen?
What is this hack bullshit

Aliens is no longer canon.

Does Scott actually hate all other Alien films besides his first?

>why the fuck did (((they))) force an interracial sex scene with the shower scene at the end?
What
Weren't they both brown

He's just completely desperate to Lucas himself apparently. Watch out for that rerelease of Aliens where they digitally impose David's face on the Queen's body.

says whomst?

>colonization mission
>all the couples are either interracial or homosexual

hmm really makes you think

I would prefer that to just be a coincidence, because the idea of LV-426 was that the derelict had been there for a long time.

>okay, we're sending a colonization mission
>let's send the dumbest, most emotionally unstable, and least cautious people in the entire world

>we're going to explore this random world that fits all of our selection criteria, is closer than our destination, but that none of knew about and is broadcasting a random message?
>let's take the vast majority of our crew, fly them through a massive storm on our only personnel transport, and then go gallivanting around an unknown planet with fuckall for biological protection and weapons that would do fuckall to dangerous Earth fauna

>communications are on the fritz and most of us are clearly untrained space engineers?
>time to split up as often as possible and be extremely vague whenever we're on the phone

>what is quarantine?

Whoever does Weyland Yutani's robotics programming needs to be fired out of a cannon into the sun. Those androids shouldn't be able to see a xenoform threatening a human without going full robo-nigga and tearing it in half.

None of it makes any sense, period. The mural in Prometheus had a xenomorph on it. The derelict in Alien 1 was so ancient that the whole thing was fossilized. And yet we're also supposed to believe that David was just tinkering for shits and giggles to create the xenomorph himself? Just a decade or two before the events of Alien? Pretty big fucking coincidence.

Fuck, I don't think there's ever been a time in the entirety of movie history where a prequel has been a good idea. All prequels ever do is completely ruin and cheapen the original. Thought Alien was super cool because there was this unexplained Space Jockey in a mysterious derelict ship with some strange life form on board that had no explanation, and served to portray how vast and mysterious space is? lol jk, those space jockeys was actually Ancient Aliens, we wuz blue humanz n shit. Also Weyland's robot made those xenomorphs 10 years ago!

Thanks ridley

It's just a movie adaptation of a part of the alien expanded universe. So my guess is no.

Why did the protomorphs seem more deadly than the xenomorphs?

How does engineering a new alien species that requires steps: 1. Egg 2. Facehugger. 3 Unconscious period. 4. Chest burster. 5. Baby alien 6. ALIEN READY TO KILL... seem more efficient than: : 1. Spores in orifice. 2. ALIEN READY TO KILL

How is the xenomorph the superior lifeform? It literally relies on host species for its reproductive cycle. Kinda a major flaw when you consider that every person it kills means one less host for a facehugger. "perfect lifeform" my ass. And even with that aside, how are the neomorphs not superior? They don't even need an egg/facehugger. They just need someone to contact some fucking dust spores floating in the air, and not 10 fucking minutes later, an almost-fully-mature neomorph is busting out. They can take like a dozen shots to the face and keep going, and they can start killing other people mere seconds after birth. They're literally superior to xenomorphs in every single way.

Also, what the fuck was that bullshit toward the end of the movie where the facehugger is on someone for half a second and that's apparently enough time to implant a chestburster?
How you want your alien lore, senpai?

Clearly the engineers would have been around a long time, and had weapons for a reason, not just to wipe out Humans, but likely from some other long interstellar conflict. The xenomorphs of some kind would be just as old.

yeah covenant just feel completely disconnected from prometheus in every way

like prometheus wasn't perfect but c'mon, there were some good ideas in the movie that they definitely could've improved and expounded upon. pussying out was literally the worst route they could've taken and covenant is a total confusing garbage pandering mess as a result

Right, that all makes sense. But then Covenant comes around and tells us that xenomorphs are actually the result of David fucking around with black goo experiments during his 10 years on paradise. That's now the canon origin of the xenomorphs. Completely fucks with everything.

Acid blood is a hell of a tool against mechanical targets.

The burster coming out of Captain Christian within seconds of him waking was an even bigger asspull. How did no one go looking for him in that timeframe?

These are the new prequels. The next one will be the best.

- Sees crewmembers disobeying him (even tho it was someone who just died and they wanted to pay their respects to him anyway) and automatically assumes they hate him and will try to rebel against him
- Decides to go to random planet they just found even though it goes against their mission objectives and other character outlines why this is a huge risk and is not worth it
- Decides to go ahead and fly through a dangerous storm in the planet's atmosphere to get to the surface, loses pretty much all communication with the main ship
- Let's his crew split up until of staying together
- Runs towards a flaming wreckage to save his wife even though she's totally dead and could not have survived AT ALL
- Doesn't kill David when he sees him interacting with the alien right when there is a disembodied head right behind them
- Doesn't kill David when he takes him to his workshop and sees evidence that David is experimenting and creating all these things that are killing his crew
- Goes into the dark cave with David, believes him when he says everything is safe, then looks inside the egg and BAM
>derr, why you acting all friendly with these Xeno...Alie....things?
>derr, you sure are different from all those other synthetics, not at all like my man Walter
>derr, if you don't tell me what's going on, I'll shoot ya
>dis fucked up creepy cave?
>dis egg here? You want me to look in it?
>well ok

Aliens : Data finds Lore has been experimenting with the Borg

>tfw went to this with my dad and we bust out laughing when they played the recorder for like 5 minutes

Exactly. It's so fucking obvious that they were originally going to follow up on the Prometheus plotline, but instead decided to scrap it to do an Alien 1 rehash.

Prometheus was trash, but it had potential in the direction it was taking. The problem with prometheus was in execution, not the overall concept behind it. And I genuinely wanted to see more with Shaw and finding out more about the Engineers and why they wanted to kill mankind and all that.

Instead, we get the most shoehorned segue from prometheus back into a typical slasher horror movie imaginable. This ends up making Prometheus even worse, because while it was bad, at least it seemed to be setting up something interesting. So now it just ends up being a shit movie without even leading to anything else good.

Maybe he created the Queen too. I don't know.

>perfect lifeform
>falls into simple traps constantly and cant open doors

My guess is that David is just reaching the same bioengineered conclusions as the engineers did, somehow. There's no way he alone invented that kind of xenomorph. What about the queens, are the just a pheromone result when a hive gets established, like a xenomorph undergoes metamorphosis and becomes a new one?

>you blow, I'll do the fingering

What did assbender mean by this?

Fucking subhumans, go to watch the new star wars crap

What got me was David using exactly the same phrasing that he used earlier when telling them it was safe. Holy fuck, that should have sent massive alarm bells ringing.
>hey, the last time he said something was perfectly safe, a woman got her head ripped off

>And yet we're also supposed to believe that David was just tinkering for shits and giggles to create the xenomorph himself?
the reason is that one time his creator told him to get him some coffee, and I think they imply he managed to traveled back in time, since he killed that colony a long time ago

how and why? who knows

He wanted to create the perfect robot homo-utopia

How can you resist his charms?

the david reveal at the end was the stupidest thing

>b-but they didnt have time to check

2 of them started fucking in the shower for fucks sake. couldn't just do a simple psych test or something?

>Hey, Walter, isn't your model supposed to have magic self regenerating flesh?
>Hey, Walter, why don't you know any of your access codes for the computer?

>David has long blonde hair (because robots can grow their fake hair, for some reason)
>gives it a rough cut with some scissors
>gets into a fight with Walter
>????
>suddenly has perfectly cut/quaffed hair just like Walter's, and apparently had time to dye it brown as well

And that's besides the fact that the "twist" was the most eyerolling and easily-expected shit I've ever seen in a movie.
Also, what the FUCK was up with Walter's accent? What the hell was that?

t. brainlet

He was trying to sound more like Bishop.

Prometheus was trash, you need heavy amounts of head canon to make sense of anything that happened in that movie.

All those shitty fan theories, great guys guess what Ridley didn't come up with that shit you did. There's even proof in commentary where he edits out a shit ton of scenes just to be more "mysterious" and he actually used that word.

Dude got lucky with moebius and giger

I think his retarded accent and the ONLY reason Walter is even in the movie is so David can swap out with him.
And it was handled in the most retarded way possible.

Every thread. Every time. There's always that one samefag who insists that Prometheus was actually kino and literally everyone else in the world "just doesn't get it" because it's so profound and 2deep4u.

I have to admire you're dedication though. You've been doing this for almost a year now, at least. Keep up the hard work.

Walter acted as a great contrast to David.

I could see that in terms of the timbre/tone of Walter's accent sounding a bit like Lance Henriksen's but I'm referring to the accent, not just the low rough pitch he was using. Good lord that was bad.

Except Scott himself confirmed it's the engineer homeworld, unfortunately.

Wasn't there some leak months back about the people in Alien Covenant not actually being Engineers, but another race created by the same Engineers who made humanity? And that these are actually two different groups of humanoid aliens or some shit?

I only bring this up, because IIRC these were the same leaks that got everything else about Covenant right, including the idea that David created the xenomorphs.

He got too crazy too quickly.

Mankind has been writing stories about robots murdering mankind since we first thought of robots. Those people would be wigging out at the ancient robot acting squirrely on Planet Murder.

>gay robots making out

more like masturbation, hes pretty much kissing himself lol