Hellboy vs Constantine

Why there is no crossover between them?

Two very different worlds.

Not the same universe.
Also, that would be a hell lot of booze

There is a crossover of Batman and Hellboy.

...

STORYTIME THAT SHIT PRONTO

Mignola doesn't like crossovers

Maybe later. Try to keep the thread alive, I have to finish an essay first.

bump

"You learn the basics, have a hideous experience in a graveyard, they give you a trenchcoat and steal your razor. Like an assembly line, really"

u guys didn't know about this??

Atomic Robo has a picture of Hellboy on the wall in his office.

The powers that be don't want John to die, because then he'd go to an afterlife and raise it. There's not much else Hellboy can do to John that's won't just piss him off so much he binds Hellboy to a tree or something. Kick his ass maybe, but John in a coma is pretty dangerous too. Why are they even fighting? Hellboy is exactly the kind of guy to get roped into one of John's schemes to delay or confuse a greater evil.

Atomic Robo's taste in comics is impeccable, as always. He also reads Conan.

bump hoping for story tiem

Hellblazer was a Vertigo title for the longest time, that meant no crossovers, not even with other DC characters.

Dude...

>Why are they even fighting
Nobody said that user

Crossover=fighting. Always.

>Hellboy/Hellblazer Crossover
>40 pages of John and Hellboy getting hammered together
>Fight some demon
>"You're alright for the end of the world, mate."
>"And you're not such a jerk yourself."
>Drunken handshake

And they depart.

If it was made today, they might even fuck. They're playing up John's bisexuality like it's a big deal these days.

They're not doing much of anything with John these days, seeing as the series is done.

John would try to be fucked by Big Red Dick

Oh no, they are. There's this thing called Constantine: The Hellblazer that's fucking stupid as balls, where he can't curse and no one dies. They even gave him a hipster haircut.

Hellboy is pure tho.

He's married to a mexican snake lady, even.

Not so pure that John couldn't corrupt him, sexually or otherwise.

Is the ghost chick supposed to be Emma or Judith?

Actually I don't remember seeing Judith when John's dead friends appeared to torment him.

John has no guilt about Judith. She made a very clear choice, and got just what she deserved.

No, I...fuck, John, what did they do to you?

Judith didn't die.

Fuck. I mean, finding out about the new Lucifer run was bad enough, but this is downright fucking vile.

There's a new Lucifer run? And it's bad? Is this separate from the Lucifer TV thing that is also bad?

I really really really wish they had used Finn Brady Constantine for this crap, but no. Had to be John. He carries a smart phone now.
There is also a Concrete TV thing in the works. All returns to nothing.

Yes, yes, and yes. It's a direct continuation of the original run, although it features a few heavy retcons. It's written by Holly Black, a tumblrina-looking YA/Fantasy novelist. It's exactly as bad as you think it is. It reads like awful Supernatural fan fiction.

This is who's writing it. Take a wild fucking guess as to whether or not it's good.

That's just so soul-crushing. How are they even continuing from the original run, the main character flies off into the endless void of nothingness to either commit suicide or brood by his lonesome.

Now be fair. Lots of comic book writers look like dorks and lunatics. You don't know if they suck until you read their stuff.

Gotham fits a lot better with the Mignolaverse than Hellblazer's London.

I wonder what old con job would have done when Britain was destroyed after Hellboy fell, though.

Except for in all the crossovers Hellboy has already had.

He just decides to come back. Also, they pretty much threw everything about Michael out of the window. They adopted the Hellraiser plotline where John carves his wings off, and made him into a sexy brooding badboy.

But I have read it, and it's awful. It's difficult to avoid stereotyping when the stereotypes constantly turn out to be true.

He knows people all over. He'd probably spend quite a while in America. But if very many of his supporting cast were in that universe too, it probably wouldn't be all destroyed. Especially London. Especially Swamp Thing and Map.

This. Neil Gaiman looks like a total fag and he's got his generation's version of that lady's look, but he still writes good comics.

Written by Garth Ennis and drawn by Mignola? I would read that in a heartbeat.

Who would win if they fought? My money would be on John, but that's just me.

They generally are dorks and lunatics, but the quality still varies.

yeah I figure he'd be able to pull a lot of strings and have London make it, except it's stuck in the middle of a hellhole with the rest of the world thinking it's gone.

He'd take a look at it and say something like "Just another day in the city".

You know, besides Swamp Thing. And Books of Magic. Sandman. And that time he pissed on the Phantom Stranger's shoes.

Only because Hellboy works for the man. If he was a solo good hearted protagonist, John wouldn't get mad enough to fight dirty.

John would make it so they never really fought to begin with. Hellboy's generally a punch-first kinda guy, and Constantine makes his living outsmarting those kind of people.

whoa

>sexy brooding bad boy
Complete with black hair and stubble. Did they ruin Mazikeen, too?

Nigga please. Hellboy would have some saint's bones that'd ward off every one of the few spells John would be able to throw at him, and he's dealt with enough assholes to not be conned.

People forget way too easily how Hellboy knows his spell stuff, he's just lazy about it because it's more fun to just punch things and there's no worries about him not surviving.

Hellboy would bring John in to the agency, and then John would use his charms to get a consulting gig or it'd turn out he knows Kate from back in the day and so he'll go straight back with a last shit-eating grin directed at hellboy. Maybe they'd be forced to work a gig together due to Kate thinking it needs them both, with con-job trying to talk information out of people while Hellboy finds a monster to punch.

>fought
Hellboy. When it comes to fighting, John's shit. He's a manipulator and a con man. If he's actually forced to fight, he's screwed.

>Did they ruin Mazikeen, too?

Do you honestly need to ask?

I meant "fight" as in some form of conflict, not necessarily a psychical altercation.

Maybe he does. But John really really does. He does have to worry about surviving, and always does survive, by knowing his shit.

Hellboy would win through a series of concidences and a last minute anti-climax that comes out of nowhere.

He basically conquered Hell by walking around smoking cigarette while everyone accidently got themselves killed out of pure fear of his reputation

>everyone accidently got themselves killed out of pure fear of his reputation

That's kind of Constantine's shtick too, though

He also has power over coincidences as the Laughing Magician.

I really disliked how they wasted such a cool thing as snorting the bones of father christmas on John fighting off some African cannibal-magician.

This is...Michael? Please no.

>that was such a waste, but it's all I could think to do.
Classic Constantine.

As I recall it's a picture of him hanging out with Hellboy. Not that I'd wish that on anyone given the state of the BPRD world.

Hellboy win 90% of his fights by overpowering the enemy.

The thing in Hell was just the princes of Hell fucking over themselves.

but he's so cool and brooding and sexy like that guy in that show i like

also he and lucifer team up and go on supernatural investigation adventures like in that show i like

Hell seems pretty chill

Hellboy mostly wins his fights by never bloody dropping dead and just keeping going at the enemy until it takes. He's basically a shonen lead fight-wise.

I was gonna say Rocky Balboa, but sure.

I think that this seems like a good place to ask..so. ..

Anyone here has a Hellblazer recomendation chart? Which runs should I look for?

The recommended reading is Hellblazer #1 - #300.

Start at #1 and keep reading until you don't like it anymore. It starts strong, goes up a bit, then a long decline.

You read everything that isn't New 52.
Start with his debut in Swamp Thing.

Foreal tho I'd read a Hellboy/Atomic Robo crossover.

this not happening, is it?

Hellboy is very action-y. Hellblazer is not.

They both vary.

Saddly I won't be able to do it, I have more work than I thought.

Maybe other day.

it's ok user
you do what you gotta do
that essay ain't gonna write itself
we can wait
peace

Hellboy doesn't drink anymore, mate.

In Batman, hellboy, Starman, they don't fight.

It's ok if you don't read comics, but lying is wrong

The OP subject does say that.

Hellboy does tell Batman he doesn't know shit about magic - that was pretty funny

Yeah, just like the others said, it was Emma.
Fuck, I need to get the other two done to sell those prints.

It was a great crossover, and jack knight was impecable as usual

Someone please storytime already

This weekend.

You forget that it also had MOTHERFUCKIN' STARMAN.

Downloading, fasten your seatbelts, mates

Your connection speed sucks.

He's doin it.

So does your mum

read until you don't like it, then inevitably skip to around book 40 or so. That's when it picks up. The neil gaiman bit wasn't bad though.