This was fun as fuck. Probably my second favorite Pirates film. What is the general consensus?

This was fun as fuck. Probably my second favorite Pirates film. What is the general consensus?

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The consensus is that Salazar did nothing wrong.

Critic consensus is 31%
Top critic consensus is 24%
Audience consensus is 72%

Is Rocky actually right?

Didn't do anything right either

By FAR the worst Pirates film. Nowhere near the level of the Verbinksi ones, better directed than OST but just such a slipshod script where every single character interaction and motivation is lifted from the first 3 films where it was done significantly better.

5/10. Inoffensive but not anything special. Geoffrey Rush and Javier Bardem were great. Depp was good as usual. The new characters were hit and miss. Science girl was ok but the Turner kid was meh. Pacing was a bit fucked. They're traveling all over the place getting followed by at least two or three separate ships but it felt like all these islands were right next to each other with all their pursuers hot on their balls the entire time. They probably could have just CGId Orlando and Keira into the movie for as much as they contributed

Science girl was a horrible cunt who could never stop running her mouth. Orlando blooms kid was completely devoid of any charisma, and the ending was FUCKING awful. The only people that like it are retarded contrarians who only like it because its unpopular for being so fucking terrible.

But that isn't actually a meme or anything, he was literally the good guy.

1>2>3>5>4

consensus is it had its moments but was dragged down by lazy, lazy writing. bardem and rush were as usual the highlights, while the two newcomers were weak

Totally agree.

Villian sucked.

Depp either phoned it in, or is so done with the character it just came off as such.

Not-Turner and Not-Elizabeth were awful stand-ins for them.

They killed off the best character in the series.

Not looking forward to the next one if it continues this downward trend.

I haven't seen it yet but I'm having a damn hard time believing it can be worse than OST and its awful fish love story, lame villain and insomnia cure properties.

>What is the general consensus?
Critics are still too stupid to get it. The audience is still clearly enjoying it. Nothing new.

Personally I think it was the best due the emotional impact, so 85/100 it is.
5 > 1/2 > 3 > > > > > > > > > > > 4

She is no science girl, she is a horologist!

>no more barbossa
feels real bad man

What the fuck is with the photoshopping in that poster. Depps face looks fucking weird as hell, like even weirder than he usually looks.

the girl was annoying but I liked in better than the last two.

My verdict was that while it doesn't hold a candle to the Verbinski trilogy and sadly retcons some aspects of the backstory (Dutchman's "curse", origin of the compass, and Carina's existence in general, given that Jack knew her mum), it was an enjoyable experience.
Yes, even SJW-bait Carina, who is preachy and arrogant about her intellect and rationality, yet close-minded to mysticism and the supernatural, and runs away screaming when spooky ghostmen show up. They made her pendulum swing to both extremes, so it's fine.
Also, Barbossa proves again he is best husbando.

Anybody else notice in the post-credits scene that "Jones" now has the claw on his right arm instead of his left? I hope this isn't just a goof.

>yfw next movie deals with evil mirror image versions of the cast

WTF I saw this today and didn't stay for the credits. Describe post-credits scene.

Also, I thought the movie made it clear that Verbinski is actually an auteur in his own way. The trilogy is great, especially the first two, and while this was better than 4, it went in one ear and out the other.

>WTF I saw this today and didn't stay for the credits. Describe post-credits scene.

It's nothing. You don't even get to see him, just his shadow and crab claw.

So is that a suggestion that we'll see another film? I'm kinda done iwth it, if this is all they can do and Barbossa is dead.

I don't think so. The after-credits throughout the Pirates series are mostly for gags only.

Will lies in bed next to Elizabeth exhausted of two decades worth of shagging when the door opens spookily and the shadow of Davy Jones enters the room. A flash of lightning illuminates the room as he raises his claw to give Will the mother of all pimp slaps (shrimp slap?), but Will, waking from this nightmare, sits bolt upright. Jones is gone, he was never there. Or was he? With Will drifting off to sleep again, we are shown a puddle in front of the bed with two barnacles lying in it.

The claw is the only thing you see clearly for a split second, and it's on the wrong arm.

Link to scene
youtu.be/DazKccgOpVg

Wtf I thought you were writing fan-fic

That was bizarre for a PotC film?

Yep, it was. Especially since Jones already got his resolution in 3.
But you see, even his transformation is now a mandatory thing instead of a penalty for slacking on the job.
They dumbed it down for normies.

3>2>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This one seriously made 4 look like superkino

Did they beat you with a phone so you'd post this?

>3>2
>This one seriously made 4 look like superkino
Why would anyone take your opinion as anything more but the ramblings of a madman?

Definitive ranking

uh no he murdered the navy ships crew not just pirates they were decent hard working innocent

>implying that was even a navy ship

It was completely filled with redcoats. Even the pirates said something about redcoats coming.

It definitely triggered my autism.

>Empire
>innocent

>muh first movie was best
What didn't you like about 2 and 3?

...

t.baby

More noise, less substance. 3 is pretty much nothing but 3 hours of memes.

Person living under a rock here: I've been trying to catch up to Pirates '5'. I've seen the first two over the weekend. Tried to watch the third last night, but fell asleep (not saying it was bad, I was just tired).

Anyway, how would you guys rank the films? Does the franchise suffer from sequel fatigue or are the critics just cunts? I honestly really enjoyed the shit out of 1. Number two was meh, some set pieces were a bit too outlandish, and some of the mythology doesn't make sense, but whatever.

I'm guessing, these were better watched as kid movies, right? I only saw number one at 10 years old, and was spooked by the ghosts so, and so I find it hard to believe, that they are kids movies. How do you guys feel about their tone?

Also, why did the director for the first three leave? And is Kaya Scodelario better than Kiria Knightley as a female supporting character? Did they just copy and paste the same type of archteypes for that character, or is it new?

>Tried to watch the third last night, but fell asleep
AWE is 3 hours long and padded as fuck. Not falling asleep would have been weirder.

>Does the franchise suffer from sequel fatigue or are the critics just cunts?
>I honestly really enjoyed the shit out of 1. Number two was meh
See? You don't even need others opinion to reach the same conclusion.

>I'm guessing, these were better watched as kid movies, right?
Second was much better in my memories than on rewatch. 3/4 just kinda suck.

>How do you guys feel about their tone?
1 : fun
2 : fun memes
3 : memes
4 : noise

Lol. I really enjoy the set pieces and sword fighting, but they really do drag on for a bit too long. And going back to my earlier question, how do they expect kids to sit still for 3 hours? AWE is probably the longest film I'll watch to date, once I complete it.

>is Kaya Scodelario better than Kiria Knightley as a female supporting character? Did they just copy and paste the same type of archteypes for that character, or is it new?

Hell no. Elizabeth, for one, is about 7 years younger than Carina and deals with the situation of being confronted by ghosts better than Carina ever does.
>sees Barbossa doesn't flinch after getting stabbed
>runs outside, sees deck is full of rotting corpses
>runs back inside
>Barbossa reveals he is also a walking corpse
>hides behind the stairs
>ZOMBIE MONKEY IN YOUR FACE
>NOW she starts screaming
>gets tossed around by said corpses

She also fights for herself in the final battle in 1, and the only thing even remotely close to Muh Stronk Womyn is this:
>You like pain? Try wearing a corset!

I thought becoming the Pirate King was deserved under those preliminaries. She's also learned to fence in time for the finale.

Carina was just obnoxious and arrogant all the time, kept rattling on about "I am no man" and r/iamverysmart, then a screaming mess the next second, when her supernatural encounter happened in broad daylight and the ghosts were merely standing on the shoreline and she had a clear escape route into the woods.

Barbossa will miraculously comes back right?

He's my favourite character, but leave him dead. Him coming back a second time would kill what little impact his second passing had.

It was the most expensive film ever made when it came out. I guess they wanted to get their money's worth

Thank you for sharing your opinion, friend(s). I'm glad to know that others concur with my observation about the second one onwards, losing steam. Something about the screenplay, and maybe the improvisation on some of the lines, with the actors, really made the first 'Pirates' really magical -- it was a home run. It's a shame they couldn't exactly replicate the same formula that made the first one great. I'm guessing, they got into this thing of trying to one up the previous one, and it became too 'Hollywood' -- and probably the actors started to phone it in. I can't imagine Knightley or Bloom caring about their roles after already having made large fortunes. No wonder they jumped shit.. no pun.

>"Johnny Depp" larger size than the franchise/movie names

what did they mean by this?

Wtf? I love Elizabeth and hate Carina now!

ship* well, that works too.

Their character arcs had concluded nicely though, no reason for them to return (except for some Dutchman ex Machina badassery, which didn't happen when they actually got them back this time). The mistake was trying to find half-assed replacements for them in four. Their descendants in 5 are marginally better, because they're different characters. If only because one is a plain Guybrush Threepwood lookalike and the other the franchise's SEE WE DO FEMINISM TOO character (when Lizzy filled that role much nicer in previous installments)

1 > 2 > 5 >4 >3

I'd switch 4 and 5 f@m

>Salazar did nothing wrong meme

Carina is to Elizabeth in PotC what Fi is to Navi in Zelda.
>people describe the original as annoying
>the replacement is ten times worse
>has a mysterious connection to previous installments
>the replacement also has tits now

>horologist jokes

simply epic

yeah they're pretty close, but 3 is easily the worst in the franchise, hate it

2 is really good, it just isn't as fresh as the first film and ends on an anti-climax

Meanwhile I wuv 3 as the conclusion to 2, so my ranking looks like this:

1>2=3>5>

Strangely good analogy
2 would've been perfect if it was it's own self contained movie you're right. It also doesn't help that 2 and 3 sort of blur together and seem like one long movie. I only put 4 in front of 5 because Barbossa was more prominent and I liked Hispanic tits over girl power

A lot depends how you approach them. I treat them like Disney cartoons for slightly older audience, so I couldn't care less about the mythology or plot or realism or convenient coincidences. It's simply a journey with fun characters to interesting looking places, hence I enjoyed them all sans the 4th (which wasted too much time on shitty characters and didn't look fresh either sans London)

>Does the franchise suffer from sequel fatigue or are the critics just cunts?
Yes to both. 5th doesn't add much new but the things that are new are fucking great. Wouldn't call it fatigue though, just less originality, which isn't as bad as it sounds.

>How do you guys feel about their tone?
When compared to the first, it's pretty similar but always more extreme. The action is more comedic and crazy. The jokes are more prevalent. Salazar is more threatening than Barbossa. It's generally positive and easy going BUT with two huge feelz moment that make it stand out

>And is Kaya Scodelario better than Kiria Knightley as a female supporting character?
Way, way, way better. She's more similar to Jack than to Elizabeth character-wise. Henry is flatter than his mothers tits though.

Still pissed they killed off based Hector. Also I couldn't stop staring at Elizabeth 2.0's tits the entire film

When I watched 3 in theaters I took an hour nap..didn't seem like I missed a thing

>Orlando and Keira
If it had more them and Depp as a trio again it could've been great.

Its so distracting

>You like pain? Try wearing a corset!
It was cringe as fuck. Some sheltered, rich kid fighting on par with pirates who do it for a living? Come on. At least it could be somewhat explained later after timeskip with Will.

Elizabeth was the victim for the majority of the movie, there were 3 moments where she did something, and one of the times it was offering her pussy to Norrington.

You didn't because there was still 2 hour of film left
>I'm now remembering there was some weird scene in like china or something

If you watch it like it's a pirate themed D&D campaign where Jack is the only player fucking with the DM it's fucking amazing.

I've hated 3, I started wanted to take a piss hard one hour in but fought it back in fear of missing something, the movie rewarded me with fat lots of nothing and shit writing everywhere. Needless to say I didn't stay for the post credits sequence.

If you watch it like it's a movie, or a sequel, it sucks.

>AWE is probably the longest film I'll watch to date, once I complete it
Watch more fucking films.

Based Midge

>less substance
Lemme guess you thought 3 was "too confusing" because the characters acted like real people with motivations, not just cardboard cutouts like Will in CotBP

After the scene with Jack and the guillotine I was just waiting for the movie to end

>And going back to my earlier question, how do they expect kids to sit still for 3 hours?
Because not everyone has an attention span of 5 seconds?
t. watched AWE as a kid and had fun
>Salazar is more threatening than Barbossa.
>SPARRUH SPARRUH where are u hombre OH NOES I STEPPED ON SAND
>more threatening than an actual villain with motivations
The sad part is Salazar actually looked like a decent villain in the flashbacks. Maybe if they stuck with that version instead of turning him into an autistic kid in a Halloween costume it would've been better than OST at least

For one, Salazar scared the fuck out of Barbossa with his name alone, so he already wins in universe. Other than that, come on, the way he/his crew kill people is hardcore. Hector is a nice guy compared to him, who invites girls to dinner and maroons his enemies. Salazar had a better theme too. Him acting more comical is given after the time he spent cursed. Nigga was mostly isolated from the normal world for 30+ years and got his body turned into a mess.

As for motivations, they were similar. Both wanted to get rid of their curse, Salazar also wanted revenge on Jack. The biggest difference in motivations comes from where Jack stands. He doesn't give too many fucks about Salazar besides being scared of him while his connection with Barbossa is much more personal.

I honestly don't get how people manage to struggle following the plots and motivations. It's not like the hints were subtle or anything.

Dude, corsets will literally bend and fuck up your ribs. Its like turbo-braces, but on your entire torso.

As fucked up as that sounds, it still makes ladies look hotter...

Sure they are horrible but they won't turn you into a great fighter.

So does a healthy lifestyle.

>The Map No Man Can Read™
>I am... no man

Why do so many people like 2 so much? I literally fell asleep watching it whereas all of the others had me at the edge of my seat.

>getting triggered by bantz

It was hacky in LOTR back in 2003.

But 3 was pretty lame, not shit but lame. OST and 5 are even worse than 3.
First is GOAT.

2 had more urgency, a more threatening antagonist and all of the main characters acting much more active compared to 1. Compared to 3, it had better pacing and IMO the ending was better too. 3 was resolved too easy.

It also was a good sequel, picking up from 1 but staying grounded while in 3 the scale fucking exploded.
Too bad they didn't show more of the Turkish prison though, and obviously parts like the cannibal island and later running around with the chest was bit padded.

also the comedy in Pirates 2 is almost as good as the first film, in the others it is kinda stale

It was in the source material in the 50s.
It was also Tolkien's updated version of Shakespeare's MacBeth, where MacBeth can not be beaten by "any man of woman born". Turns out MacDuff was delivered via cesarean and thus not "born". So it's been hacky since at least the late 1500s.

B-but bluehaired whale feminists ruining muh media.

Does every single movie has to have a post-credits scene nowadays? Look at that video, it's fucking pointless.

I wanted to mention it too but couldn't think off any moments sans Jack being Jack on Tortuga. Meeting Lizzy and the whole souls thing was pretty good but other than that?

Another thing are the effects when compared to 1.

>They killed off the best character in the series.
QFT

Pirates always had them, before Marvel made them a meme.

I am as much against the so-called feminism in current media as my fellow man, but in LotR it was fine. The line is tired now though, and should be retired.

Why was it fine in one movie and not the other? Both are children movies almost two decades apart, so the target audience probably didn't see the other. Fans did but there is SOOOO much stuff repeating in media, it's weird to get triggered by one line.

It was fine in LotR because
a)it was in the source material
b)it kinda started the trope in cinema, which is now completely driven into the ground
c)it was merely a Prophecy Twist instead of giving Eowyn any special powers over the Witch-King, his defeat was still a joint effort between her and Merry, who also isn't a man (in terms of species), but a halfling.
Watch the scene again: Defending Theoden, Eowyn gets rekt terribly by the Witch-King's mace until Merry stabs his leg, giving her an opening.

So the context of the scene is not
>Lel u men r dum
but
>You expected a human male but got tag-teamed by a human female and a male halfling

Why is nobody talking about the fact that there are NO good swordfighting scenes?

Curse of the Black Pearl had:
>Jack vs Will
>Jack vs Barbossa
>Norrington/Redcoats vs Skellies

Dead Man's Chest had:
>Battle of Isla Cruces
>Pearl vs Kraken

At World's End:
>Jack vs Davy Jones
>Barbossa/Will/Elizabeth vs the Dutchman

These last 2 installments have been lazy when it comes to fight scenes.

b)it kinda started the trope in cinema
I can't think off a specific example but honestly doubt it. It felt old in lotr and I wasn't a big fan a William at that point to know the original.

c) And in POTC it was bantz about the time period and treatment of wymen. It didn't give her any powers, she simply made a passive aggressive joke. Hell, one can say it was a lotr reference/pun.

Technically, the line is fine in PotC 5 as well, because it is Galileo's diary that contains the Map That No Man Can Read, so it takes a fellow astronomer to decode it, which Carina is, and her sex is just circumstantial in this case as well.
The movie made a point though to show the only other astronomer as a sexist virgin who can't even into Astrology and had a lot of Men R Dumb Amirite scenes.
Also, seafarers should know at least basic astronomy because the job requires navigating by the stars at night, which Barbossa even lampshades:
>I know the stars that guide me home.

So it kinda sits in the middle when it comes to judging the intention behind the line.

The Walrus was Paul

The scene with the idiotic astronomer is the only one deserving any complaints, IMO and generally felt forced as fuck.

With the map it just made so much sense, I don't get the discussion about it.

>seafarers should know at least basic astronomy
Captains. Do you really think idiots like Navy Pintel and Ragetti would be able to do it? Rest of Jacks crew was established as dumbasses pre Carina too. Barbossa knew his shit and the English guys seemed to know it too. Jack is a special example due meme compass, so he never needed to learn it.

That's fair I guess.

You made this post yesterday, we've head it you think mermaids was better, now off with you
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