Out tomorrow

>Out tomorrow
>Still no reviews

Uh oh.............

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I predict 36%

Is The DUCU going to end before it even began?

They've received The Rock's message: the time of the uprising is nigh, no quarter will be given to critics.

I am out of the loop

What are these rock jokes?

You mean you haven't seen the SMASH HIT of the summer? Are you ready for RAUNCHY comedy? Are you ready to PISS your PANTS?

>Directed by Alex Kurtzman

It's dead Jim.

>He isn't Litty

>Kurtzman

Huh, is that German? Is he a German director?

>Kurtzman was born and raised to a secular Jewish family

Nope

UH OOOHHH..........................

CRUISE IS FINISHED

Will it take the #1 from Wonder Woman?

sofia boutella should have been wonder woman

It's possible but WW has to tank over 70% second week, mummy is only projected for $30m

>spelt the mummy, not mommy

had fucking MAD are americans right now?

That was awful user. Never do that again.

Is that the latest projection? Because it was 40 million the last time I checked

If it really is 30 million it won't top WW

way too high. 14%, with a fresh rating from Armond.

The "Rock" lost its marbles on twitter when he found out that the new movie he made wont hit projected revenue.
Then proceeded to argue with people how everyone that wont see it is being retard(figuratively).

I cant see a Cruise movie getting less than 30%. Say what you will about the psycho but he still brings it to every role.

>The "Rock" lost its marbles on twitter when he found out that the new movie he made wont hit projected revenue.

what did he say specifically? I'm more curious than I expected to be

49%

Screencap this

let me see if I can find the tread in the archives.

you missed his meltdown? it was hilarious, fucking crybaby is not used to being a failure that he was implying everyone who didnt liked his shit movie are idiots

>he still brings it to every role

That's the problem. He's *shit*. Not that the idea of Tom Cruise becoming a "major action star" because all of his contemporaries have chucked it up doesn't raise a dry smile.

Your grammar makes my eyes want to bleed. You have just lost the internets Good day sir.

>you missed his meltdown?

somehow I managed not to know he was even having one. probably because I'm not sympathetic to his position and think of him as having a crass, pushy attitude that deserves to be rewarded with reversals

>no Brendan
it's shit

>Your grammar makes my eyes want to bleed.

You're in no position to make this sort of claim, user.

it won't let me link it but just google search "the rock twitter metldown" and the site is moviepilot

Why isn't the main actor a female?

The guy literally has succeeded at everything he has tried. I don't think he takes the concept of him failing so well.

I don't think it's possible to be more right about this.

Fucking proofread or something god damn.

>archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/83217263/#83217263

Apparently this is not the whole story the whole thing originated on /fit/

BREVENGE

...

because the issue's one of dwarf rights

wouldn't this be the third time it happened?

I heard I, Frankenstein and some vampire movie that everyone overlooked were both supposed to "kick off" the CU, but were both scrapped because they bombed

Baywatch is great, great movie. Fucking meathead.

actually he just did make that claim so piss off

...

FAKE?

Will Cruise's weight save "THE MOMMY"?

>also pictured The Rock(actor) in the background

>Running himself in the age of cut-cut-cut kino
Absolute madman.

Can anybody stop him?

theres a summary thread if you guys are interested

ITS STARTING

ITS FINISHED

All these faggot critics will try to sink Tom on the basis of his religion. And they'll fail - they always fail.

Can confirm. Watched 3 times and loved it.

#LITTY

>top critic
is there a more worthless title in human history

...

Hey he worked hard to earn that title.

>running in place to appear taller
when will they learn?

>Review: Dark Universe is dead on arrival with THE MUMMY

>Universal's new shared universe gets off to a dreadful start

>I had some awfully low expectations going into this, but holy cow did they blow right past them and into the gutter with this production. This coming weekend, if you get the urge to go see this, do yourself a favor and purchase someone in your life a ticket for Wonder Woman instead. That will be a far more enriching experience.

HAHAHAHA ITS DONE

>shitposting in your pajamas is hard working
go to bed Stephen

learn how to greentext m8

>ITS DONE
>Tom Cruise

Seriously though,I would love to write shit for some comfy check.

>Universal's new shared universe gets off to a dreadful start
>Dark Universe is dead on arrival

Nah, the DCU was fine after MoS. Universal will be fine.

>Damage control already starting

>do yourself a favor and purchase someone in your life a ticket for Wonder Woman instead

Not really, they already tried this shit with Dracula Untold

It sucks

They are shilling WW even in a review of another movie? Damn, do these critics have no shame whatsoever?

damn, looks like the cruise is getting bruised and universal's monster universe is dead on arrival (not that it already wasn't with that godawful dracula movie they already decanonized)

>People can't be German and Jewish

i, frankenstein had nothing to do with it. that was some shitty comic book or novel adaptation or something. the dracula movie was supposed to kick it off though and they basically disowned it.

It's kind of a shame, they have some talent signed up.

kind of makes them look like idiots to announce so much when their first movie was doa

>chaos god
kek

He knows exactly what he is doing. Trust in Tom -- literally /ourguy/

Funhaus pls.

the mammy will tank! i cannot wait. thats what they get for doing generic horseshit adaptations

confirmed for old faggot

after learning about scientology from Leah Remini I'll never support another tom cruise flick again

how much is the church of scientology paying you

Cruise is a good actor though and pretty crazy when it comes to stunts.
I dont care if he slaughters goats or believes in a talking dragon that gives hime the power of god, hes still entertaining to watch in film

>they replaced based Brendan with a manlet
No chance.

>based Brendan
Stop living in the past.

Oh Jesus Christ, I want to kill the bitch that did this to him.
Is he still paying her alimony?

Tarzan has to live off berries and give jane all the boars he kills because he once gave her a circular object.

>british """""""comedy"""""""

The embargo lifts at 9AM PST

Embargo has already lifted

It stinks

I've already seen a few reviews in my timeline

they are bloggers, not critics

damn, she was a qt in the first movie
What went wrong, Sup Forums?

Shes still hot

>Not that the idea of Tom Cruise becoming a "major action star" because all of his contemporaries have chucked it up doesn't raise a dry smile

Notice how his front teeth aren't aligned with his nose. Now you will never unsee it.

Will Brendan make a cameo?

>it's shit
>NOW GO WATCH WONDER WOMAN
Wow, the shilling is real.

CAN'T BRUISE THE CRUIS-
oh shit

Just checked an Box Office Pro has it at 39 million. Forbes guy expects 40-45 million.

There's a small chance to take the #1.

Maybe he's talking about the original Mummy

time will JUST us all

Whoa, Warner really entered the shilling game

does it count as a cameo if he's working your local kinoplex as a third job to help with the bills?

He's unjusted himself