Why didnt they just keep this shit closed

why didnt they just keep this shit closed

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Why didn't your whore mother just keep her legs closed?

Nigger that was weak

Just like your mixtape

>Why didn't the show just abandon its premise and be about nothing?

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is UNSCHEDULED ACTIVATION Real Hahahaha Nigga Just CLOSE THE IRIS! Nigga UNPLUG THE GATE Haha

because that wouldn't have made for a very exciting show

>big hassle about finding enougb power to fuel the gate
>something goes wrong
>gate can now fuel itself

Really activates my iris

look how carter looks like fraser

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>it's a hathor demands my dick episode

>Sam will never marry Jack in this timeline

>it's a Share is fully clothed episode

>it's a Loli Carter episode

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This show worth a watch or what?

>It's a Daniel sees dead people tv show

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comfiest show you'll ever watch

>There is a Jaffa saying; "They do not build them as they once did".

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I don't know about that, I watch the Antiques Roadshow.

((((((((((HOPE ZION)))))))))))))))))))))

all those valuable off-world technologies (replicator swarms, diseases, malfunctioning alien cell phones, malfunctioning alien mirrors) and powerful allies (alien wuz kangs, space pirates, space sluts, space LARP'ers, tiny greys that refuse to help until they finally help and kill themselves.)

Also, does it have a story or is it more the same few episodes over and over again like in Star Trek? Because I've never been able to get into that.

aktually, the show ends in s1-s4, after apothis is eaten by the expanding sun like the tokra wanted. The arc with the replicator and annubis is a mistake.

there is progression

There's 25+ SG teams. They don't keep the Iris closed because they use the gate a lot.

Think star trek meets BLACKED.COM

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Stargate essentially replaced Star Trek when Star Trek turned shit. It's a spiritual successor.

>lie the stargate on its back
>enemies jump through
>they fall back down in to the wormhole and de-materialize

smugwojack.jpg

>they fire the anubis energy beam at stargate command
>the beam goes through the roof and dissipates in space

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the first season and a half are very planet-of-the-week like star trek, and very cheesy in general, but after that there are more and more overarching arcs and the episodes connect to each other a lot

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You're a fucking moron please never pollute the universe with your idiocy again.

Then how is SG1 supposed to get back, huh faggot?

Dope.

Well since I've barely watched Star Trek and I'm not into interracial porn I'm not sure what to think.

Oh. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Speaking off, are any of the other 90s/early 2000s cult sci-fi series worth watching?

I see, thanks. Might give it a try then. Did they ever release them in blu-ray?

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Hallowed are the Ori

go there to select the episodes with 2 stars or more

I'd rather not watch it at all then to only watch parts of it.

I just want a cozy little sci-fi series with a nice story to get invested.

if you want to watch it all you should follow this order gateworld.net/news/2009/05/stargate-recommended-viewing-order/

I've never been able to compare Star Trek and Stargate well. I absolutely love them equally.

They both have a lot of range. They'll both make you laugh and cry. (And happily give you mood whiplash doing it.) They'll both touch on awesome, thought provoking premises, and they'll also both fuck off into bizarro land for 45 minutes.

Star Trek is an argument for humanity in the future. About how we can improve as a species and contribute to the galaxy in a positive way.

Stargate is more like humanity escaped its pen and is now accidentally causing havoc across the universe while exploiting other races for their technology. And it's great. Because it trades that vision of Star Trek for a modern government, one interested in hard results. It trades the dreamy explorers and geniuses and telepaths for pissed off soldiers and asshole doctors trying to earn their paycheck.

There is also a lot more humor in Stargate.

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It really is surprisingly good. I could argue for its spot on the top10 of all-time. Underrated because of its nerdy stigma, mostly because it has star in the name. I haven't watched star trek but from what I understand it's kinda similiar but with the difference that they're from modern day earth. Most episodes are self-contained with a new planet, a new problem, and trying to find a solution to it.

>Stargate is more like humanity escaped its pen and is now accidentally causing havoc across the universe while exploiting other races for their technology. And it's great. Because it trades that vision of Star Trek for a modern government, one interested in hard results. It trades the dreamy explorers and geniuses and telepaths for pissed off soldiers and asshole doctors trying to earn their paycheck.
Yeah this is what I loved about Stargate. It felt grounded in reality for a sci-fi show. The military is in charge and they don't give a shit except to steal better technology from aliens. Most of them just want to bury the thing and forget it exists until they realize the shit we can steal. Sure it has that character always arguing for what is right and bringing humanity, but when push comes to shove he gets shut down because it's a military operation and he's just a passenger.

what kind of a retard watches TV shows like this? are you actually serious? fucking burgers I swear

this guide forgets the fact that universe and atlantis were shit compared to sg-1. my guide how to watch stargate:
1. movie
2. sg-1 all seasons
2. sg-1 direct-to-dvd movies (might as well not watch these to be desu)

>might as well not watch these
well if you've watched all of s9 and 10 you want to see the conclusion, even if ark of truth is kind of a mess

and continuum is pure kino, a damn fine final SG-1 episode

Atlantis was good though, even if it kind of fizzled at the end. Not that SG-1 didn't do that too.

>first season of sg-U was absolute dogshit, ratings dropping hard
>seconds season of sg-U starts off, not doing too hot either
>after a couple episodes they drop 8-10/10 episodes back to back towards the end of the season, the premise actually has some merit to it and seems interesting
>its too late, the ratings dipped too hard and most people had already given up on it
>kills the franchise so hard they have to reboot it through a movie (which may or may not happen at this point)
not to mention, the reason SGA ended so abruptedly was because the studio wanted to give the creaters SGU, but only if they ended SGA within a certain time frame

It's a mix of both. Most episodes have a new planet and a specific issue. There's essentially 3 layers of plot:
>overarching plot of earth building defenses and earth's relationship with alien races (and relationships of the main cast)
>season plot of whatever
>episode plot of solving a specific problem

So if you were watching it on TV in the 90s and just see an episode, you get a nice story you understand. But because it's 2017 and you're watching all the episodes in order you understand why they're going to that planet, why it's important, how it affects their situation at this point in the story, and you know of the tools they've gathered at their disposal (this is a really cool aspect of sg-1, the technology they steal/copy or just learn and how it's incorporated into their possible actions in each episode, they basically get more and more powerful over time).

The balance shifts, sometimes it's "we have to go to this planet to defend them from attack from the bad guy of this season" and the "episode plot" is just like finding a way to win a battle.
Sometimes it's more peaceful and they have time to do recoinnasence missions, so it's much more of a planet-of-the-week episode with star trek or even a bit of x-files vibes. Something's going on and they have to figure out what. But they might make an ally or reveal something about the team members that comes into play in a future episode. Few episodes past the first season never have a pay off further down the line.

>after a couple episodes they drop 8-10/10 episodes back to back towards the end of the season, the premise actually has some merit to it and seems interesting
I agree. I didn't really find it interesting up until that point, but it got better and was at its peak when it got cancelled. But it was such a short run it's pointless to even start. They were still basically establishing the concept and 2 seasons is a long time to take.

a tl;dr of this
the stargate is the ultimate writing tool, literally anything you want can plausible

Pretty much. But the point is each episode is still its own "mission". It's not like a modern TV show that is just a really long story chopped into 30 minute servings.

In the first seasons the gate stared to glow when someone starts dialing it from the outside.
Makes no sense.

Also the gate coordinate system is not that intelligent.
First it should not matter in which order you put in the coordinates.
It makes no sense that the coordinates are star constellations visible from earth.
They have nothing to do with actual coordinates.

Everyone speaks English. KREEE! Intruders!

There is so much wrong with Stargate but I still love it.

>In the first seasons the gate stared to glow when someone starts dialing it from the outside.
>Makes no sense.
I never realized that but you're right.

in the stargate lore are humans originally from earth and spread by the goauld to serve them as slaves elsewhere, or was earth just another planet where the goauld brought humans to build monuments?

literally never happened

>the gate is drawing power from the wormhole

>the replicator
nigga please. The best villain

No. Via the wormhole from the other gate. Thats not so magic

Anubis attacking the tauri gate, apophis getting to earth and some faggot rival attacking the tauri gate, setting a nuke off in a desert and can't shut it down, setting a mark 5 near the gate and can't shut it down etc...

First one. You see that in the first movie when the pyramid ships first land on those Egyptian bastards

but wasn't the stargate network built by someone else long before the goauld started using it? did they meddle with earth and primitive humans? was that part ever touched on in the show? sorry it's been a while

>Anubis attacking the tauri gate
He was sending power through the wormhole to the earth gate
>apophis getting to earth and some faggot rival attacking the tauri gate
He was attacking the shield. They was no power issue
> setting a nuke off in a desert and can't shut it down
The other gates wer powering the earth gate
Nigga please. Do you even SG-1

nvm obviously there's a stargate wiki
Humans originated in Celestis, a planet in a distant galaxy. Originally known as the Alterans, they split in two peoples, the Ancients and the Ori. The Ancients later seeded the Milky Way and Pegasus galaxies (probably more) with Humans, as both galaxies seemed to be devoid of sentient life. The Ori later created a new evolution of Humans that served as their worshipers. Humans were found to be good hosts for the parasitic Goa'uld who would take over control of the host's body. The Goa'uld spread humans across the Milky Way galaxy as they traveled.
absolutely disgusting

hey kids, remember THIS shitty character?

> They was no power issue
except that it couldn't shut down at the end of 38 minutes
>The other gates wer powering the earth gate
>gates

I know, makes perfect sense but you'd think it was just for the convenience of finishing the episode's story.

>The other gates wer powering the earth gate
just because they say it out loud doesn't make it a disgustingly blatant plot device that only ever happens when it's convenient

>except that it couldn't shut down at the end of 38 minutes
bullshit. It was Sokar as far as remember. He was heating up the shield to destroy it. The gates were closing after 38 minutes but without the dialing device SG could have opened gates first
it was gates bug. Not a feature

yeah but gates connect to other powered gates all the fucking time. why does it only happen when it's inconvenient to the stargate command? I know the answer is because the episode needs to happen but it's really cheap writing.

>The gates were closing after 38 minutes but without the dialing device SG could have opened gates first

ah yeah, you're right

did sgc ever kill human slaves by setting a nuke at the gate and closing the wormhole on a populated planet?

It only happened if there was a power source. Was there any episode with a power source when it didnt happen? The only thing that bothered me was how come the gates always knew when to close. This was convenient as fuck

I wish Goldsmith would release his soundtracks for SG-1. Some of it was gold and it never saw the light of day.

Fuck you Kinsey

>In the first seasons the gate stared to glow when someone starts dialing it from the outside.
>Makes no sense.

yeah even as a kid I thought that made no sense. how does the gate that is being dialed know that it's being dialed while the dialing is in process? that's like if you dial a phone and it starts ringing before you even finished dialing the number - which may still have changed with every coordinate/number

yfw he did it

wasn't the little crystal thing that was found on most dialing panels a power source? I understand the episodes where aliens try to attack earth but I could swear there were multiple times when they exit a planet and wait for the wormhole to close but it doesn't because it's "drawing power". if having a crystal on the dialing panel is enough shouldn't that happen like all the time?

user...

huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/01/joel-goldsmith-dead-star-trek-stargate-dies_n_1467429.html

>Some of it was gold
GOOLD?

By a power source I meant great power coming through the wormhole

>> setting a nuke off in a desert and can't shut it down
>The other gates wer powering the earth gate

>In the first seasons the gate stared to glow when someone starts dialing it from the outside. Makes no sense.
Actually it makes some sense. Your are assuming that the openning of a stargates is simultaneous. No one said its like this
>It makes no sense that the coordinates are star constellations visible from earth.
Well earth was the cradle of ancients. It was valid for the earth. On other planets they were just numbers. Order of numbers matters.

With so much drama in the S-G-C
Its kind of hard bein' Teal-apostrophe-c
But I, somehow, some way
Keep havin' to kill Apophis like every single day
May I kick a little something for my S-G teams
And kill a few Goulds as I breeze through
Two in the mornin' and the gate's still open
'Cause General Hammond ain't home
I got Tok'ra in the gate room gettin' it on
And they ain't leavin' till Bra'tac says so
So what you wanna do?
Shieet, I got a big ass staff and my Jaffa do too
So turn off the lights and close the iris
But(but what) we dont love Maybourne, yeah
So we gon' smoke a ounce to this
Jaffas up, Goa'uld down, while you Tau'ri motherfuckers bounce to this

Only 12, a lot of it is still missing

FUGG, I dunno how I missed that

I dont follow. You mean the episode when they nuked some desolated planet? Actually it was full of naquada or whatever it was called. It caused a constant flow of energy comming via the wormhole which kept the gates opened

someone post boob'ra please

>Your are assuming that the openning of a stargates is simultaneous

I distinctly remember cases where they cut back and forth, definitely implying that that is what's happening

>Well earth was the cradle of ancients. It was valid for the earth. On other planets they were just numbers. Order of numbers matters.

wrong. they ended up with that, because they were too lazy to keep it up and decipher the new coordinations on every world (nevermind alter the off-world gate for every episode), but it directly contradicts how that shit works as stated explicitly in the movie AND the pilot of the show, where Daniel explains to Jack and his team that he had been able to recognize some of the symbols in the Abydos archive in the nightsky of Abydos.

they just dropped the ball on the whole issue

>I distinctly remember cases where they cut back and forth, definitely implying that that is what's happening
That did happen a lot, but like the other guy said it's possible there was a delay. Imagine the person dialing all the symbols, then the information gets transmitted to earth but it takes a while.

Like in some early episodes they showed that the wormhole actually takes time to travel through, but they almost cut it as if it's an instant travel from one side to another.

>I distinctly remember cases where they cut back and forth, definitely implying that that is what's happening
I am not saying it wasnt stupid. Also keep in mind that 7th symbol address was utterly reterded idea bc you need only 6 symbols to dial. So once you input 6 symbols the other gate might have already known that someone had dialed it before it opened

always cut it*

>they just dropped the ball on the whole issue
never forget dropped concept of a freezing after decompression

Which one are you talking about, the Season 9/10 with the Ori and the Prior channeling a shield around the gate?

Grappling hooks

That one and the the 15th episode of 4th season Chain Reaction

who here /tvshowrealhelmets/ over /moviecgimhelmets/