Whats the most life-changing quote that joe Rogan taught you?

Whats the most life-changing quote that joe Rogan taught you?

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>Hurr durr I've tried my hand at so many things and failed them all miserably, but millions of fucking idiots listen to the uneducated shit that comes out of my stupid mouth, buy my weed

- Joe Rogan

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Seriously though, what's the appeal of this dude? Iv listened to a couple podcasts and he just comes across as some boring pothead.
>whoa man that blows my mind, why do we do the things we'd do?

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>Dude. Imagine having to work a 9-5 job. Wow. It's fucking crazy, man.
Good old, out of touch, life in a bubble, Rogan.

the one thing rogan taught me is to triple my egg intake and not give a shit if they are cooked and cracked perfectly or not, and just eat them whenever the fuck you feel they're done

oh yeah lots of peppers for the high test gains

Go show him how to do it, user.

>refined corn oil and sugar is cheaper than a balanced, nutritious diet
Damn rly makes me think

MADE ME THINK SO FUCKING HARD MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE.

Because he talks babbles about conspiracies and people on Sup Forums are double digit iq idiots

these threads are just shilling

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I see this all the time and honestly can't tell if it's a real quote or just something one of you guys made up. It sounds exactly like something he'd say to the point where I can hear the intonations and the exact words and syllables he would emphasize in my head without even trying.

Someone start posting his hideous cooking already.

bro you need to get redpilled.
i bet you never even tried shrooms or LSD

"Jaime, pull up some chimp balls"

Isn't he the guy from News Radio?

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"Once in a lifetime doesn't apply to Ronda Rousey. It's once EVER in human history."

>millionaire
>one of the top 50 greatest standup comedians of all time
>well liked and friends in many circles
>can kick the ass out of any person on here
>has 10/10 nordic wife

>failure

kek at all dat jellymad

>one of the top 50 greatest standup comedians of all time
couldn't resist huh?

>wikileaks vault 7 happening
>joe rogan comes in
>look the russians are spying on their people, if we don't do the same how are we going to fight them?

tfw to intelligent to post on Sup Forums

Did she die in the ring? She was plastered all over every mainstream website for like a year and now she doesn't exist anymore.

To be fair, it was his job to big up famous fighters like her.

The comeback fight was hilarious though

>one of the top 50 greatest standup comedians of all time
not even top 1000 on any metric

Why is Joe so fucking based bros?

Go to bed Joe

classic rogan

They could just eat less

>"jamie you see that? jesus that thing could rip you to shreds!"

wise words

teaches one to be smart about every encounter and seek your inner level-headedness known as jamie

Well her career definitely died after this:

youtube.com/watch?v=8xSADslDM2U

Yes

Twice

Like under a minute both times

"Its rude to stare at a women getting undressed, but if its just a couple of guys, I see no problem with it"
-Joe Rogan

You watch enough to rate him past 1000?
Dewd ur a fucking wank stain wastin' space

Is Joe the most redpilled man in America?

True class.

Perhaps it should have occurred to him that everyone has had that thought as well.

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Nah. Most people have that figured out as they age. Just when you start to really figure things out in your 70s-80s, you die. All you memories and acquired knowledge and experience are gone in an instant. It's some cosmic, sad joke.

t. oldfag

This is a 10/10 joke in LA.

But a lot of old people are still idiots

bros... what If I told you I've discovered the purpose of life?

>Joe is so gay his dick goes so deep inside himself at the sight of attractive women it turns into a black hole.

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I only watch him because he occasionally has interesting guests. The real problem is Eddie Bravo, though. What a fucking idiot he is

What is it ?

kek just made a thread without seeing this so might as well post it here (dont jump threads)

I mean he's so dumb guys, wtf

Definitely. I didn't say everyone figures shit out. The way I worded it, I was attempting to imply the absurdity of our short lives. Assuming you live long enough to truly "begin" to understand how shit works, you die.

Not going over on calories with cheap food means you don't get enough micros, you'd feel like shit and be hungry all the time.

What's his stance on jerking off pet ducks?

>eating healthy is expensive
This is a terrible meme. If you honestly believe it you're just making excuses for your man boobs.

Damn right you flyover state faggot

I dunno, I do pretty well getting micros and avoiding empty carbs but it still costs me like 150 a week where I am, I can see that being a problem for a serious poorfag. If you're eating drive thru burgers though yeah that's on you.

I have ascended to new levels of consciousness

>millionaire
>willingly eats pic related
>brags about it

cant buy class, taste, or smarts apparently

>Flying
>Not traveling exclusively by train
www.pleb-city.com

some of the better ones are where he's way out of his depth and an actual intelligent person can talk uninterrupted while he nods along or tries to tie it back to martial arts or cougars

dr rhonda patrick for example, came on the first time strictly to refute some pseudoscience joe was slurping up from another guest

>tfw im 90 years old next month

>I was talking to this guy who was pretty big into breeding ducks. Well, he was telling me that, like... okay, so, he was saying that a ducks penis. It's ACTUAL penis can be manipulated by humans. Not only that, and here's the crazy part. It's... the thing is, the ducks. They actually like it. It blew my mind. I was going WHOA, you can jerk off a duck and they feel what you're putting out. It's just so... it's wild. Hmm, really puts things into perspective. But yeah, Canelo has a tight looking ass!

Does he ever make food that looks even mildly appetising?

No you're not, Pepe.

>10/10 nordic wife
He married an asian tho

no, he eats sunny side up eggs for seemingly ever meal and has no idea what appetizing ones look like

the whites look like grease vomit every time

I like when he said we're all chimps in cages until we experience a DMT trip

Can't wait till my cage is unlocked by vishnu and I experience eternal bliss

You still have to be able to afford a lot of it to get fat.

Yeah but TRAINS TRAINS TRAINS!!!!

That mother fucker
Eggs. Avocado. Jalapeños.
Every. Fucking. Meal.

I can't tell if this one or the egg sandwich thing looks worse

Can you imagine his farts. That's a potent mix. Gives me the goosebumps.

no he didnt. faggot

Yeah, same here. I was like "What the fuck?" Just shows how out of touch Hollywood is. He lives in LA, right?

more expensive and tedious than the dollar menu

I finally figured out why his eggs look like garbage. He said in a recent episode he loves his cast-iron pan because "you don't need to wash it." I think he just rinses it and every time he cooks he has caked up shit in his pan that makes all his food brown/grey. Fucking disgusting.

looks pretty fucking good tbqh

I've forgotten it

>Just shows how out of touch Hollywood is. He lives in LA, right?
Yeah, in the area. He's way out of touch, but in his defense, he says he's staying in LA because it's easier on his family and his work. So, at the end of the day, he's out of touch with the working class and how they can't just instantly pull up and get another job - but, he has a great work ethic. He doesn't just sit on his ass. I applaud him for that.

gorillas are fucking jacked.

pull up that one video young jamie

Terrible bait Ahmed

He has a black belt in tae kwan doe and Brazilian jiu jitsu. He's also a famous stand up comedian with the most famous podcast on the planet. What the fuck have you done with your life?

Imagine being Bill in that interview and having to be all like "damn, Joe Rogan, you fuckin' funny, all humorous with your muscular body and steroid induced monster face. I would totally hang out with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is watch the brunes alone in his room. Like seriously imagine having to be Bill and not only sit in that chair while Joe Rogan flaunts his disgusting theorys in front of you, the favorable setting barely concealing his lack of depth and meaning, and you just sit there, break after break, hour after hour, while he perfected that satsquash theory. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking personallity but his horrible cooking as everyone on set tells him it's #HEALTHYASFUCK, AND JOE ROGAN COOKS LIKE THAT?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his moon fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been listening to nothing but a healthy diet of amazing comedians and stand ups for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Boston. You've never even heard anything this fucking unfunny before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his swelled head as he sucks down another joint while writhing it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to sit there and revel in his "WOKE (for that is what he calls himself)" jokes, the jokes he worked so hard for with writers in the previous months. And then Yung Jamie calls for another "joke", and you know you could make every single person in this room laugh before Joe even knew what was going on, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Bill Burr. You're not going to lose F is for family season 3 over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

And don't forget the garlic. This motherfucker eats a pound of garlic every day. He definitely sweats garlic, the nasty fucker.

>"It's not the strength of the weed, but how long it stays lit that matters."
Joe Rogan 1999

He's just fascinated by the nature. There's nothing wrong with appreciating all the things we take for granted. He doesn't need a new app or piece of tech to be impressed.

this doesnt even look bad, id eat that
dunno why Sup Forums is memeing him so much on the food, nothing really looks repulsive

also, he prolly cooks with lard or something for muh helth so thats why his eggs always have weird color

He dumps MCT oil on them

always appreciate the effort on these, have a (You)

That's literally the single most appetizing foodgram I have ever seen him post. Also, yes the weird color is probably some meme oil or lard he uses, plus the fact that he cook in a dirty cast-iron skillet that he said he never washes, he just rinses it out.

>cast-iron skillet
well. that prolly explains it

got tell /ck/ that you was your skiller and see how triggered they get cuz of >muh seasoning reeeee

>was
wash*

He said it on The Union: The Business Behind Getting High

i mean even /ck/ should know eggs are like the one thing you dont really use cast iron for

you can, but most cooks keep a nonstick pan specifically for eggs just because it makes life easier

Shatner?

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So you really don't wash them? That's disgusting. What if I want to cook something completely different in it and don't want egg remnants?

>damn look at that big black cock
-jow rogman

for cast iron you can wipe it out and clean it with salt and a rag

you arent supposed to clean it with soap or water because it strips away the seasoning layer (aka patina) that makes it non stick over time.

the whole point of good-maintained cast-iron pans is that they have a think layer of seasoning that acts like a film/laminating thus just a rinse easily gets rid of the shit you cooked in it.
im actually a big fan of them, but i just dont have the autism in me to maintain them since its pain in the ass and just buy some normal Tefal non-sticks.
Still, i think it a good idea to have 2-3 cast-iron skillets and use them for a different occasions, i dont think it would be a good idea to cook fish and lets say pork chops after that in the same one

same reason why you shouldnt cook acidic foods like tomato in cast iron, unless it's for a brief amount of time