ITT: Sup Forums Operates a Cinema Together

ITT: Sup Forums Operates a Cinema Together

NO COUPLES POLICY NOW!

Alright, who let all the falcons into the popcorn mines? A day's work just went to waste and now we have no popcorn and a bunch of engorged falcons that are too bloated to fly.

Out of Bunisess sign, get the cash money and run away

r-r-r-r-r-oberto?

>All customers with a reddit account are barred for life
>No capeshit
>all qt girl customers must remove footwear at the entrance

>Dark Knight Rises on all year long

>new phenomenon of fat neckbeards repeatedly walking out of the theatre after the film has been running for only 5 minutes, satisfied and chortling

Sir I know i should respect you as my employer but I cannot help but notice whenever you view a Kino you are always alone, and you tell me to enjoy it as well despite me being unable to see it.

Popcorn is 100$ for small 150$ medium and 170$ for big guy size.

WHO KEEPS BUYING ALL THESE DRAGON DILDOS IN MY OFFICE?

>new phenomenon, hothead 34 year old living in his parents basement attempts to ruin everybody's fun while shitting his pants from anger

Geez user i was just playing along with the joke with a little self-deprecating humor. Must have touched a nerve. How insecure can a guy be...

Every show time must end with repeating numerical values.

For example, like the ones I just got.

>manlets forced to sit behind +6.2 chads
>singles must seat in designated area at the very front, seats separated so they dont try and make friends
>no bin - people dump their scraps in the singles area

>In other news, local movie theater the "Kinoplex" has shut down after allegations of soliciting child pornography were brought against the proprietors by the FBI. The theater had been struggling to attract an audience since opening earlier this year due to only allowing single men to buy tickets, and enforcing a strict "no shoes" policy for the few women who tried to enter. The theater also only ever showed one movie, 2012's The Dark Knight Rises, with scarce showings scheduled for very early in the morning. One patron named Chad had this to say:

>"You have to go at like 3am cuz it's when the owners get out of bed. They wouldn't let my gf Stacy come in, too. They only show that one batman movie and like everyone but me just laughed the whole time for the first part, kept saying the lines over and over, and then most of 'em left after the plane crash part. The guy running the projector actually stopped the movie a few minutes later. As I walked out all the audience was standing far away from my gf in a little huddle looking at their phones. That movie theater sucks pretty bad."

Topkek

Dubs get caught sneaking in food

The designated shooter must be punctual, well groomed, and a white male. In addition to his duties at the cinema, he must regularly submit +1000 page manifestos describing why he is superior to everyone around him, and why women are heartless whores.

>170
>Not 175

you had one job.

>sell tickets for The Last Jedi
>show them The Ewok Adventure

popcorn is free but butter is $14

singles only
cellphones left at the door
you can't leave until the movie is over

>local theater fails health inspection after 7 patrons become violently ill from eating crab legs and imitation popcorn butter

Guys im gonna need help draining the theater thats playing Baywatch, the piss smell is starting to make people pass out

I fucking TOLD YOU we would need a mandatory diaper policy for that movie and you didn't listen. Deal with that shit yourself user.

test

jokes on you i'm 35

Lol you beta

AS OF NOW I STABLISH A NO CAPESHIT POLICY ON THIS CINEMA. NO CAPESHIT SANS FOR THE DARK KNIGHT RISES SHALL EVER BE SCREENED ON THIS ESTABLISHMENT

>mfw digging a lanklet pit

>uh, you don't get to bring friends

Every second seat has a whoopie cushion for that BRAAAP

WHO OPENED THE CUNNY DUNGEON?

Why do all the girls in the cunny dungeon keep calling me a faggot? is making me feel bad

Guys, the manlets formed a human ladder and escaped from their pit in the 12:30 showing, gonna need some backup here

holy kek

>SPIDERMAN UNRATED VERSION THE FINAL SOLUTION TO THE GOBLIN

>the "Kinoplex"

10/10