Tell me your beta movie theater experiences

>Be me
>Be 15 year old
>Pretty much coddled by an over protecting parents
>Finally rebel
>Decide to ask this girl out to see some movie at this popular mall.
>She says "Bring your friends we'll all hang!"
>"Oh okay sure"
>Fuckme.jpg
>Don't have many friends
>Invite cousin who is 2 years younger than me but looks older to tag along
>Even he seems to pity me and says yes but will bring his friends
>Fast forward to weekend
>My cousin and his friends are hanging out while I stand there waiting for my "Date"
>The movie starts at 8:00PM and it's 7:30.
>Cousin tells me she doesn't think she's coming
>My heart sinks but I believe she'll show.
>They start heading inside while I stand there and wait
>Check watch
>8:15
>She's not coming...
>I go inside
>"I ticket please"
>Clerk looks at me
>"Just one?"
>I look up
> "Y..Yeah"
>He feels bad
>Get a large Coke but paid for a small one
>Sit in theater
>Couldn't find cousin cause dark as shit.
>Movie ends.
>Everyone starts to leave.
>I wait a bit
>See some couples waiting behind, some guy even buttoning up his pants (it was kind of a dirty theater)
>Bout to leave but hear my cousin
>He has a distinct laugh
>Turn around
>My cousin is chuckling right at me
>Get pissed but then see a head pop up
>Ohfuck.jpg
>It was my date...
>She was blowing my 13 year old cousin
>All his friends were laughing
>I want to cry
>ragemodeactivated.exe
>Snap a quick picture
>Post it on the internet
>Say the girl is a whore who blew an underage kid
>Get in trouble by teachers and parents for posting pics
>Make my chad cousin even more chad
>Never returned to that theater again

My cousin is now a pot head who has no recollection of this cause his brain turned into hemp paper but every now and then I see a glimpse when that mall is mentioned.

>Decide to ask this girl out to see some movie at this popular mall.
>She says "Bring your friends we'll all hang!"
Jesus, this is painful to read.

Yeah that didn't happen.

Post the picture pussy

No (You)s for liars.

>be me
>be 20 year old
>decide to finally visit a kinoplex after hearing the horror stories on Sup Forums
>walk up to the front door and get stopped by a kinoguard in full military gear (in case one of the designated shooters escape)
>present him my multipass so i can enter without a companion
>walk up to the cin-e-matic penis inspector in the lobby
>put my dick in the hole
>it immediately circumcises my penis
>as i walk along the main hallway, many greasy fingers from the manlet pits attempt to pull me in
>finally, i arrive at the cinema showers
>black men gang rape me but the shower guard said it's a part of the experience so why not
>die

>manlet pits
Kek

what a horrible horrible copypasta, it's not fun because it's obviously fake, but it wouldn't be fun even if it were

It didn't happen. Furthermore, why do all these stories have to introduce the concept of getting cucked. Why is that the hot new fetish story?

>go see Cafe Society at a small theater
>no one there when I get there
>get a seat
>older couple comes in and sit next to me with one seat in between
>more people fill in on their other side
>20min into the movie, what I assume was their daughter shows up
>she's at least mid-30s
>she sits int he seat between me and her parents
>she keeps shifting around in her seat and whispering to her mom
>there are seats to my left and I could move, but fuck that I'm a grownass man and she's a grownass woman I don't need to move on her behalf
>she eventually whispers to her mom "I'm sorry I can't do this it's too awkward"
>This 30-something woman can't handle sitting next to a 20-something guy she doesn't know
>she isn't even attractive
>she leaves
>after the movie her parents apologize to me and call their daughter a "real piece of work"
>I act like I didn't notice so they don't have to feel embarrassed

>go to see Harry potter with mom (think Malcolm in the Middle tier mom)
>packed theatre no two seats together except for front row
>mom says fuck that and sees two scattered seats in middle of theatre
>asks douchey beta guy in his 30s with gf if anyone is sitting next to him on the other side
>he rolls his eyes and says he doesnt know
>she then says "but no one with you" YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE is anyone sitting in that seat"
>they say n-no
>she says GOOD so now you [to douchey guy and his girlfriend] can move a seat over now
>douchey guy actually moves like a beta bitch and we sit together and try to enjoy harry potter
>afterwards guy goes "b-b-bitch" to mom and runs off
>tell her congrats because she won because she rattled him enough to make him think of her the whole movie

>Fuckme.jpg
>Ohfuck.jpg
>ragemodeactivated.exe
No one talks like this anymore, op. You should have copied some other pasta.

>Why is that the hot new fetish story?
lurk more faggot

Your mom sounds cool and the Lois comparison works

>people talking about packed movie theaters
I'm so glad I didn't grow up in a family of retards.
My parents understood it doesn't make sense to go to any showing of a movie early in its run, nor past the earliest showing (to keep out degenerates)

What the hell was his problem? I get asked to move all the time if I'm by myself with no fuss, I've asked people to move if I'm with some mates and they've never reacted like this.

Just live in a small sized city/large town (20,000+). Plenty of seats, fist time I went to an actual big city theater I was shocked that people were assigned seats.

>going to the theater past the year 2010

It wasn't supposed to be a fun story. It was supposed to be a beta story, which it was.

>Go to the theater alone
>Straight from work
>Late night showing
>Theater is pretty empty
>Go to the bathroom to change since my boss has a fit if someone uses the work shirt with the store logo outside the store
>Take my work shirt off outside of stall, it's the men's room anyway
>A girl got mixed up and was in one of the stalls thinking she was in the women's room
>She comes out while I'm shirtless
>I'm moderately /fit/, but nothing impressive
>She gets flustered, things get awkward as fuck, she bolts out of there while I rush to put my shirt on.
>Later walk into the theater
>As fate would have it, she's seated near me
>She recognizes me
>I recognize her
>It's awkward
>Feel compelled to try to break the ice
>Rationalize the best way to go about it is through humor
>Joke that she didn't wash her hands
>I'veMadeATerribleMistake.avi
>She looks mortified, shuffles a bit and changes seats
>Felt like shit for the rest of the movie

For what it's worth I think that line about her not washing her hands was genuinely funny and much better than anything I would be able to come up with.

>21 yo
>hyped for some movie I don't even remember
>no friends, no girlfriend
>went to the theater by myself
>saw the movie, it was mediocre
>went home
>next day I wake up and there's a fucking bed bug crawling up my leg
>oh no
>next month is spent in misery as I hunt down the little bastards and eventually have to pay an exterminator a gorillion dollars to genocide the fuckers for good

fuck movie theaters.

...

>out to see the new wonder woman movie
>1 adult for wonder woman please
>sir our singles only section is sold out would you like 1 for the next showing?
>i used to work at this theater so i know how things work
>ask if they have any girls left behind in the lost and found
>just one moment please sir let me check
>returns with qt3.14 chubby blue haired tumblrina
>yes she will do just fine thank you
>movie starts
>we start fooling around a bit
>she starts touching my pee-pee
>i make my way into her pants
>her penis is bigger and gerthier than mine
>she smiles at me and says "it's my lasso of truth and i bet i can make you admit you love cock"
>the sheer size and girth of her penis made docking my dick into her dick easy as could be
>i cum in her dick with the force of 1000 burning suns
>gazing into her eyes she gets a little smile
>do you wanna suck it?
>i didn't need to answer, because next thing i know her giant cock is in my mouth
>she explodes in my mouth filling my mouth with both her cum and my cum
>everyone suddenly stands up and starts applauding
>have they been watching us the whole time i think to myself
>look at the screen and see the movie is over and the credits are rolling
>she looks at me and says heres something to remember me by
>she pulls out her monster cock and rubs it against my cheek, covering it with semen and saliva
>as she walks away i ask if i'll ever see her again
>she just looks at me and says "Khandar Estrada khandos thrus indactu nosfrandus khandar dematos khandar."
>suddenly undead demons attack the theater
>my hand gets taken over by an evil spirit
>cut it off so it doesn't take over the rest of my body
>escape the theater
>now i can't even jack off thinking about that night with my blue haired angel.

>go to theater
>realize movies are ass and leave