Literally why did they not do this? Both this movie and universe could have been saved

Literally why did they not do this? Both this movie and universe could have been saved
>Russell Crowe walks up
>"hello Tom Cruise, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Abraham Van Helsing the 4th. For centuries my family has dedicated itself to hunting what most men call monsters."
>Tom Cruise looks at old books labeled "field notes" and the names other famous monsters
>Russell Crowe smiles
>"stories for another time, perhaps"
>bonus: at the end of the movie he find some some of them missing and we see Tom running through the desert with them

Other urls found in this thread:

reuters.com/article/us-ghosts-idUSN1442888920080214?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Literally why did they not do this? Both this movie and universe could have been save
>sofia boutella gives a wicked foot job to tom cruise
>bonus: at the end of the movie you find out tom cruise is yourself

>sofia boutella

She got that hank hill ass

Her muffin top is wider than her hips

it's genuinely bewildering to me that Cruise is a year older than Crowe but looks about 15 years his junior

ass-tier movie btw. could've done with a Whedon, a Raimi, or maybe an Abrams at the helm instead of this literally who studio puppet they got to direct, at least then maybe they could stick to a consistent tone and mask how generic the plot is with charming characters. also, nobody in this movie looks like they want to be there.

Or at the very least, they could have gotten somebody who knows how to operate a fucking camera.

I swear the field of view didnt change for the entire film.

I couldn't with the movie's lighting desu. Reminded me a lot of AVP: Requiem. that scene where the two britbong police officers explore the wreck was near-incomprehensible.

If I were a king I would ask Sofia to be my queen I would tell her that everything she sees she can have if she would just be mine I’ve never seen a woman in my whole life that is as beautiful as she is as elegant mysterious sexy cute the whole planet that sits before us that we live on with everything that exists here and even outer space the Moon the Stars the Milky Way the Sun when it rises and it sets the beautiful blue skies in the white puffy clouds the green Grassy Meadows all the beautiful flowers upon the face of the Earth all the beautiful different colored tree shapes and sizes all the waterfalls upon the face of the Earth and the beautiful landscapes and all of nature itself the birds the bees butterflies every animal and mammal upon the face of the Earth all of this combined could never hold the beauty in the passion that’s Sofia holds for me she holds all of the beauty and all of the passion and the desire which is far more greater than all of these things that I have named she is everything and anything she is Elegance I cannot put in words I could not even write a poem that would explain in detail how she makes me feel every time I see her in a picture in a movie on anything I get goosebumps all up and down my spine all of them all whole body all the hair on my body stands up like it has been electrified my eyes dilate the sexual desire and passion that I feel when I see her is overwhelming it’s like I’ve got to have her I want to have her I need her I desire her everything in me says passion love desire excitement that I feel for her I know she will never hear these words that I have put here before you there is no way I could ever see her or being her presence because

I am just a regular hard-working guy that works 6 days a week who has no one and all my life I’ve searched movies I’ve searched books magazines I’ve looked everywhere Far and Beyond trying to find one woman that can touch me and make me feel what I feel when I see Sofia and to this day no one has been able to do that except her my heart is lonely but it is strong at the same time I wish somewhere on God’s planet that a miracle will happen for me that I could meet just be in her presence just one time in my life just to express my feelings for her and let her know how greatly I appreciate her and I thank her for her beauty and her passion I know that this will never happen because I’m really nobody I’m just a man that’s full of love and passion and desire that’s bottled up inside that I have to give to no one except her butt like I say again I guess it’s just a dream for me it will never become reality and it saddens me in my heart and I wish with everything I truly do that I could see her face to face thank you for all the beautiful pictures of her that have touched me so deeply and have made me cry and yes I’m a strong man but I still cry when I see her the pictures of her I just watched this movie called The Mummy that she starred in I couldn’t even get up out of my seat after I watch the movie she just mesmerized me I was like in a trance the guy that clean up the theater had to let me ask me to leave I told them to give me a minute so I can compose myself I get emotional when I see her on film or her at all she is truly what beauty is and passion is and desire she is everything I love her even though she would never know thank you for her beautiful pictures once again it’s been a blessing to me

First legitimate criticism of this movie I've seen.

I wanted this to be good, I like a decent monster movie

It's too bad they didn't stick with the fun/adventure style of the Brendan Fraser ones, at least that can make a subpar plot salvageable

If this isn't already pasta, then it should be. It deserves better than to be archived into oblivion, never to be read again. I salute you, lonely stranger.

Fraser movies are funtimes, but I honestly was looking forward (at least before reviews) to seeing how they'd go a more psychological horror route with her getting into Cruise's head. Problem is they never commit to it and are stuck between this really awkward path of it being both a rollicking adventure with guns and zombies and shit, and Cruise wrestling with his own morality and sanity.

DONT YOU GET IT THATS WHAT MAKES THE MOVIE SO GREAT

ITS GOT SOMETHING FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY AGE 5 to 95!!!

RUMOR HAS IT THAT ITS GONNA MAKE BANK IN CHINA

>For centuries my family has dedicated itself to hunting what most men call monsters.

At that point why not just make a live-action Hellsing?

>Bride of Frankenstein will be the next movie in the Dark Universe
>Tom makes a cameo and brings the monster to life after being killed (again)
>Dr. Frankenstein is revealed to be Brendan Fraser

kino

>GONNA MAKE BANK IN CHINA
Is it even gonna be released there? I thought they wouldn't show moves with supernatural beings or undead.

Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $32,246,120 18.5%
+ Foreign: $141,800,000 81.5%

I guess them chinamen love their mummies.

No, it's ghosts they don't like. Mummies are OK.

The only good things from this are the girls tits tbqh/

My man

>Chinese people hate ghosts

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

This looked really good and tom is a good actor. Was this really as bad as people say?

I wish

I think they don't hate ghosts, it's just that western ghosts are at odds with their own beliefs or something like that. There are Chinese ghost movies.

>This looked really good
Said no one ever.

Communists hate any entertainment that's not explicitly propaganda.
They have taken to banning any movie that they claim promotes superstition or belief in the supernatural.

So we get MEW as police girl and angelina jolie as lady hellsing and have them lez it right up.

They need to forget this action shitshow approach and instead make a true "dark universe"of horror movies. Whoever decided to make action flicks out of these iconic horror characters should be shot in the gut and left to bleed out over hours while he pukes and shits himself in agony.

what a retarded post

The Brendan Fraser "Mummy" movies were successful and they were action movies.

>Implying capitalists don't love their propaganda

>what a retarded post

-t. china

reuters.com/article/us-ghosts-idUSN1442888920080214?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews

>control and cleanse the negative effect these items have on society, and to prevent horror, violent, cruel publications from entering the market through official channels and to protect adolescents' psychological health.

how does it feel to post something that infirms your original statement ?

I think you mean confirms

>It's et another "the entire world gets half destroyed by an evil person hellbent on remaking the world in her "image" or some shit with the exact same visuals as the last 20 films" film

why is Hollywood so bankrupt?

...

gee wizz tom cruse was great

how is preserving people from desensitization and brainwashing through sex, violence and horror fueled american media related to superstition or the supernatural ?

Also even though officially the CCP has an anti-superstition doctrine China is probably one of the most superstitious country on earth and both officials and the state media partake in it.

>WE DONT WANT VIOLENT OR SEXY MOVIES BRAINWASHING OUR CHILDREN, THATS OUR JOB TO BRAINWASH THEM WITH PARTY POLITICS INSTEAD

Literally Jack Thompson-tier of thinking.

Why do you care if I talk shit about communism?
You're not a communist are you?

I'm against people spouting bullshit in general.

>I'm against people spouting bullshit in general.
Okay then you must hate communism.

She is pure beauty

>54 years old

I have no real feeling towards it since I was born after the fall of the berlin wall and never lived in North Korea, you can criticize it but spouting bullshit about a country you don't know fuck about because of the brainwashing you received from your own media is silly.

Maybe in israel.

>Maybe in israel.
You do realize Sofia is of African, Arab heritage?

>communist china censors movies because they literally think their population is too psychologically fragile to watch a movie without believing or emulating what they see.

>I'm the one that's spouting bullshit by pointing this obvious fact out.

she looks alright for a north african monkey desu, if even half of them looked like her islamic immigration would be a lot more palatable

Russell Crowe is a hard drinking manly Aussie and Cruise probably sleeps in some sort of coffin like chamber. I'm sure Cruise is a nice guy but I'd rather hang out with Crowe.

If you prefer Gadot over Sofia, something is very wrong with you

>desensitization through media doesn't exist
>porn addiction and the rabbit hole of fetishes caused by sexual desensitization is not real

hello reddonald

>Showing a ghost in a movie will lead people down the rabbit hole to porn addiction

Just stop, comrade mao, you're embarassing yourself at this point.

The mummy is literally showing in china though, and there are chinese movies featuring ghosts

>The mummy is literally showing in china though
It is? How come Suicide Squad cos of Enchantress was banned then in China?

>The mummy is literally showing in china though
There are no ghosts in the mummy.

>there are chinese movies featuring ghosts
How many of those movies were created after the law in 2008?

All joking aside, The Mummy was a great watch and Tom Cruise is the best actor of all time.

>How many of those movies were created after the law in 2008?

Well last time I went there there was a ghost movie showing in the theaters so I'd say at least 1.

Suicide Squad was probably banned because it was a garbage degenerate movie considering like half of all Chinese media features sorceresses and/or witches in a way or the other.

>Hank Hill ass
Objectively incorrect.

This.
Only people hating it are the ones that wanted a Brendand movie clone, classic monster movie clone, or people who don't like the cinematic universe thing because of Marvel (even though Universal Studios did the whole cinematic universe with their monsters during the first half of the 20th century).
Basically if you don't care about Brendan Fraser or his movies, or care about the classic monster movies, and don't give a shit about cinematic universe shit, it's actually a pretty decent movie.

I felt Cruise's performance could have been a bit better during the second act. He spends most of the movie looking puzzled and confused (which no doubt his character is meant to be with everything happening so quickly for him).

But what I did like about his character is that Nick is an asshole
>Sleeps with the blonde in the hotel room and steals her map
I am so used to seeing Cruise be the romantic that seeing this was really interesting

>Basically if you don't care about Brendan Fraser or his movies, or care about the classic monster movies, and don't give a shit about cinematic universe shit, it's actually a pretty decent movie.

>You'll love this movie if you hate movies

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Don't get me wrong. I want to really like this movie but it's sad that the dialogue and acting wasn't top notch in some parts. I think it could have been better written a bit and Nick's friend as a ghost was a bit annoying when he tried to joke a lot.

>if you hate all the garbage meta shit and actor drama and just want to enjoy movies you hate movies

you're the reason western culture is dying

>garbage meta shit
>Brendan Fraser
>actor drama
>classic monster movies

This shit makes absolutely no sense. You're just spewing buzzwords at this point.

I think part of your problem is that you're expecting a serious, adult film; when in reality, it's more of a cheesy family movie.

>Sleeps with the blonde in the hotel room and steals her map
Haha, that was GREAT! Great moment in a great movie.

>I think part of your problem is that you're expecting a serious, adult film
I was. I wasn't expecting to hear jokes and comedy in this.

I will rewatch it with this in mind

It's almost like, when you're bent forward, your butt protrudes out more or something.

so? The rest of her is great. One flaw doesn't mean she's suddenly ugly

Do you even know what Hank Hill ass is?
Oh wait that's right, you don't.

giv mummy gf

Are you capable of seeing images in posts you reply to?

Oh wait that's right, you're a fucking retard.

...

And now i have a monster girl fetish

If this "dark universe" succeeds it won't, what exactly are they really expecting at the end for a big finale? Some kind of "League of the extraordinary Gentlemen"? The Monsters Suicide battling Cthullu?

Oh but it will

user they're already prepared for the Mummy not raking in a lot of money. I forget where I read it, but it was stated that each movie in this universe will have varying budgets, from large to small, to facilitate the Dark Universe being financially possible.
So it doesn't matter if The Mummy doesn't rake in tons of money, at least two sequels are basically going to happen whether you like it or not.

...

P-Post more
>ywn unwrap her and smell her 2000 year old sweat

...

>gay kid posing in the background
>gay guy jerking off in the background
I kinda feelt them, Tom is a qt patootie

>And now i have a monster girl fetish
>now

>2000
5000

...

>Why could they not use one of the most clichéd and overused tropes in the world?

Yeah, you make an excellent point, OP.

...