ITT: useless superpowers

ITT: useless superpowers
>you can stop time for 10 seconds
>your time gets stopped too

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How would you *know*?

I dunno... if it was localized it might be useful.
>See bank robbery in progress
>Call Cops
>Stop time in 20ft radius around yourself
>Keep stopping time for 10 seconds until cops arrive.

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Super Hot?

no, not like that
you wouldn't even notice you stopped time

Alter your body temperature to the upper and lower limits of a healthy human at will.

If you have a fever that could be very useful

maybe that'd be useful if you immobilized yourself but you stayed conscious during stopped time. Then you'd have time to strategize and think about your next action.

Doing good with it, and not evil...

Stop time in localized area right as Peron is crossing rail road tracks, keep him stopped there until train comes.

Hold a person in place and have a henchman shoot at him from outside bubble.

Hide in Bush's outside his house and use it repeatedly in the morning so he is always late for work. Getting him fired from every job

Or if you need to fake your death

Ahem.

True, but the power to avoid fevers is acceptable. Not truly useless I suppose, but nothing stellar. There's a man who claims to have that power, I think. He swims in ice water and things.

>infinite strenght for one second once a day
maybe even at random

Immune to the common cold.
Or
The ability to "evolve" bacteria or viruses into stronger versions within your body. However, you're not immune.

Wouldn't stopping time in a localized area cause you to carve that radius off the surface of the Earth as the world keeps rotating and moving in its orbit?

If you touch someone for 30 seconds, you can change your hairstyle to match theirs

>The ability to understand the entire complexity of the history of every comic book ever made without fail or confusion.
>Or in other words, being half of Sup Forums

I would evolve a virus that would not effect me
Like chicken pox

Yes

That'stereotypes being generous. Probably 15% of Sup Forums.

Holy shit a super version of The Hand

The ability to vibrate at great speeds and pass through objects, like The Flash.

However, you can only vibrate around 10% of your body, or only one limb at a time at the speeds necessary to pass through objects.

If you stop time light no longer moves so you'd be blind.

So how about a time stop that functions like that? You can move freely but you can't see or hear anything.

The midas power

Your touch automatically turns everything to gold
Including what you put in your mouth or any part or your body.

You can enter a trance instead of sleeping.
60 minutes of trance is like 1 minute of sleep.

You could spoil comics on Sup Forums.

>The ability to travel to alternate universes
>But with their being an infinite amount of possibilities, the universes you travel to only have a 0.01% then your home universe.
>You die of old age before you even get to a universe with a 0.02% difference.

The ability to see what you will be doing 10 minutes into the future.
No context or audio though.

So if in the future you're sitting down, you'll witness your future self doing wall sits in the air.

Phase you hand into people to kill them

Am I allowed to change the future?

>powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Mortality
Just try to name a power more useless than this, just fucking try.

>Huh, I wonder what I'll be doing in 10 minutes?
Looks into the future
>Oh, I'm looking to see what I'll be doing in 10 minutes from then. Again.

Would be OK if during trace you aged at the rate of sleep, so trace for 60 years and only 1 year of your life gone

>10 minutes before lottery drawing.
>Look at my future self.
>Future self is holding up fingers.
>7... 3... 8... 0....
>Hustle over to 7-11 and play the pick 4.

Only if you kill yourself.
But that causes a temporal paradox which forcibly manifests your predicted self into reality as a replacement.

Then as our solar system is moving too you would separate that section from the planet. Just wear a parachute less that 10 secs would still be enough to kill everyone from the fall, think you have to live south of the equator though.

>Shortly thereafter, as the drawing occurs, hold up my fingers as each number is drawn.
>You aren't going to catch me violating causality.

>single use

>The Hand
>stand with the biggest potential in the chapter (in my opinion)
>wildly underused
WHY
it wasnt even discussed where the things vanish
it could have been that with his other hand he could reappear things
or erase other things
like memories, time, idk

Would be great for this, but in a casino they might kick you out at a card table

Maybe we all have that power and are constantly using it then.

If you could call it, that's a one-hit KO like pic related. Pretty sweet power desu senpai. Git gud beforehand, and then just have that ace when you need it. Everyone would be constantly on edge in a fight, expecting it to come. Supplement with weapons or training and you're set.

>Including what you put in your mouth or any part or your body
even the air you breath in?

Everything you think of becomes reality regardless of your wishes.
Even dialogue is loudly blared from your location as it comes.

The power to filter any liquid into it's different parts, but it must pass through your digestive system.

As it functions, it's basically just a more limited version of Cream.

And I guess that's the joke, in Jojo stands with seemingly "useless" abilities can oftentimes see really great applications, while stands with near godlike abilities can see diddly squat happen if not used correctly (see GER in part 6).

There is a book/movie similar to this titled Sphere, scary thing is it works while sleeping and makes dreams real too

You have no need to urinate or defecate.
You still need to eat and drink normally, and experience the good/bad effects of what you consume. You simply don't produce any waste.
I guess you would save time not needing to use the toilet, but would it really help?

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I was kind of suggesting that you literally only see what your future self is doing exactly 10 minutes into the future. Like a single shot from a film reel. Your interpretation is more fun though.

Immunity to the Common Cold would make you unfathomably rich. Just copywrite the vaccinations made from your blood/dna.

It's annoying, but not necessarily useless, just needs a lot of training to be able to control your thoughts.

Plus, you're literally omnipotent. Who's going to criticize you when you can do whatever the hell you want?

>seemingly "useless" abilities
>my stands ability is to punch hard really fast
seems fair I guess...
>oh btw I can stop time too :^)))

The ability to differentiate normal people from those with special powers.
Your the only one who has power though.

Lotteries are generally drawn like hours after you can buy a ticket, so no luck. This would be useful for like Poker or something?

>look 10 minutes into the future
>see nothing
>"...Uh-oh. I'll be dead in nine minutes!"

kek

Sure why not

This. I fucking hate how Jojo fans act like Araki is just really creative with the use of Stands, when he's actually just pulling new powers straight out his asshole. Star Platinum is chief offender, but I've lost track of the amount of people that said "Johnny Joestar's stand is spinning his fingernails, but it's used really creatively. ;)"

I think agent 47 would appreciate this power.

>can turn invisible when no one is looking at you
>becomes visible as soon as someone looks at you

>"Johnny Joestar's stand is spinning his fingernails, but it's used really creatively. ;)"

But he's spinning them perfectly don't you see! That's how he can shoot people through dimensions, he just spun them the correct way.

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People who you meet, but forget, are effectively erased from time.
Haven'the seen that friend in a long time?
No problem! Because now he doesn'the exist.

Of course because of time shenanigans, you don't even realize you have this power.

you still get to be invisible to security cameras tho.

Not a useless superpower, but the ability to manifest a Silent Hill so as to allow you or others to literally overcome personal traumas.

>You can age at will
>You can't become younger

That would be a perfect idea for a Silent Hill series, maybe with Cheryl literaly dragging the otherworld around wherever the fuck she goes.

It's not like it would be worse than what the series is going through right now...

>Have you met X before?
"Never heard of them before"

never heard of them before is the same as not knowing they existed, you are making people out of thin air all the time.

Almost makes up for all the people you erase thinking "man I hate this guy, wish he would just disappear"

that depends if somebody is watching the cameras or not, unless it only works with direct vision.
>Star Platinum is chief offender
>not Gold Experience

>can cut your own dick off
>it stays cut off

This would be perfect for roulette.

come up with a simple system to tell yourself the number with your hands, bet groups of 4's, never just a single number. Lose 2-3 rounds before winning.

You don't need to win every time, just enough to beat the odds and let the winnings stack up over time.

After you earn a good starting amount at small casinos, go to bigger ones and bet larger amounts at a time.

Get comped rooms and food, even lose big every now and then.

But just always end up "up" for the week or month.

Nah you have to personally get to know them on some level. Learning their name is enough to initiate the process.

Basically forgiving an enemy would be the worst thing you could do to someone.
Because once they're out of mind, you'll never see them again.

>Can create well-thought out, critical responses
>Uses power to post on Sup Forums

I'm a filthy baka gaijin whose brain literally can't comprehend what's going on in the manga panels, so I rely only on the anime.

The ability to forget things.
The ability to poop without leaving your butthole dirty.

Star Platinum's extreme speed as well as constantly improving stats was probably Araki's way of building up the idea that Star Platinum had subtle abilities of manipulating time but I think he just built it up very poorly, as well as thinking of shit as he went along. His similarity to The World as well as the ability to move within stopped time made them very similar bit it felt like an asspull. If he had some forethought and planned better Araki could have made Star Platinum The World a much better reveal.

As for Johnny, his powers derived from harnessing a pseudo science which Araki is very fond of and the more he learned about the pseudo science the more his stand developed until it reached insanely powerful levels.

Gold Experience Requiem however was Complete Bullshit: The Stand

>can always hear what insects are saying
>can't turn it off
>always hearing a multitude of voices screaming all around you
>can't talk back to the insects

do the bodys stay? can I harvest my own organs? can i kill someone with a suicide vest and come back? Can i do tons of drugs and die from an overdose, only to be reset to before i took them?

>The ability to forget things.
That's really good for top secret stuff.

>The ability to forget things
Tfw I would do anything to forget

Stopping time is somewhat a confusing concept.

What if I turn a sphere around myself absolutely solid for a period of time. It's half-buried in Earth, so it should be fine.

Can be moved, but inside of it can't be altered. That would be neat.

I just thought about it
>ability to forget things
>forget that I have this superpower

you always know what time it is, as long as that time is 2:37 AM.

you have beaver teeth but they're really fragile and don't grow back

>Sphere of absolute defence
There's no choice. I'll have to open them...
The Eight Inner Gates.
Now is the time reveal the results of my training. Watch me sensei!

you can talk to extinct animals

Also being caught at the border would probably be fatal.

>jump in lava
>make sure the temperature of your body doesn't go up
>you don't burn
>???
>PROFIT

The ability to get paid the minimun wage montly.

>Drown in lava
>:^(

Does that mean I can have gay sex without enemas?

I guess if body temp = surface temp, then sure? I think they just mean core temperature.

As a NEET who lives on autismbucks, I'd love that power.

only if you bf got a shitty dick

I don't think human body can actually sink into Lava. It's pretty dense and thick.

No, there would still be poop inside. Your butthole would clean, though.

>It's never said your body can handle the extreme shifts in temperature and you risk killing yourself every time.

>Quit job
>Still get payed

I would rather have the enemas than the gay sex personally. Occasional enemas=10/10 experience, so cleansing. So fresh. Just purge my shitter up.