ITT we write today's captain's log

Captain's Log, Stardate 2017.170...

hispanic is not a race

Lieutenant Barclay has been confined to a maximum security brig after an incident in holodeck 3. Ships counselor Diana Troi remains in sickbay. Dr. Crusher has told me to expect the worst.

Our destination is Nervala 4, the site of the incident which created Thomas Riker. Unbeknownst to Commander Riker, Engineering is configuring the deflectors to simulate the conditions which allowed for duplication. Will Riker's transporter trace is loaded and ready to go. Due to his extreme utility, we are prepared to create at least 500 Rikers should Engineering succeed in replicating the necessary environment. Afterwards, We intend to create as many copies of Data as is possible. Ideally, Nervala 4 will be the Enterprise's final and permanent assignment, as we overrun the universe with copies of Data.

Someone is fucking the children again. Counselor Troi has been notified.

Captain's Personal Log, Stardate 2017.170
I can't stop fucking the children. I have ordered Lieutenant Commander Data to ensure any evidence of my deeds is kept secret or destroyed.

Dr crusher has been told to expect my wurst

Today we successfully sabotaged a competing Trekthread.

10/10

Commander Riker and I have just finished sex and it was fun. Boing

Captain's 'log'

The /trek/ general is that way...

>

This thread is about creatively writing captain's logs, not bland faceless participation in a "trek general"

>spazzing autistically because your thread's not getting enough (You)s

Embarrassing.

>Having a TNG thread to begin with

Hehe, you kids keep playing.

the crew has been reading a comic called THE LOCO BANDITO. Moral is higher than ever.

My wife, or as i call her Mrs. Captain is on her period again. I will be making an emergency late night inspection to the holodeck tonight.

Occasionally when Commander Riker is having intercourse with some saucy space bimbo ill have Lieutenant Commander Data walk in awkwardly and take a picture or grab an article of clothing then I fap in my quarters.

I said the word nigger again. I was by myself. Geordi wasn't around. Still, I was thinking of Geordi when I said it.

Uploaded malware to Seven's alcove while she was at rest. Fuck the Borg and fuck Seven.

Had unprotected sex with Data despite having herpes. Secretly wishing he'll transmit it to Tasha, that slut.

upvoted

Hoshi corrected my grammar again. I wasn't even being serious. I was just trying to casually talk. I hate her.

Go to bed, Trip.

This does not even deserve a captain's log, BECAUSE THIS IS DEAD SERIOUS.