ITT: Your best and worst theater experiences

ITT: Your best and worst theater experiences

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Bad, lots of bad but here is one..
>be me, summer of 2013 and 18 years old
>go to see a film alone on a weekday(Pompeii kek)
>only a few other people in the theatre thankfully
>get seated, waiting for the film to start/trailers
>2 teenage looking girls come and sit next to me
>after a few minutes of them blabbing, one of them tries to talk to me
>oh fuck(1080 YIFY).mkv
>asks me mundane shit and I am responding with disinterest but just want to be left alone
>near the end of the interrogation she can tell I don't want to talk but can't take the obvious hints
>asks out of desperation "So are you here by yourself?!?!" with an annoyed tone
>respond with "yes" and then she finally stops talking to me
>have to watch a movie next to two annoying fucking girls

Fuck, I meant to type 2014.*

>best
freshman year of high school i went to see grindhouse with my gf and she played with my butt through death proof
>worst
every other time i've been to the theater

Could have banged them bro

Riley Stearns pls

I got lice from a theatre

Ehhh the other pic was better than this one

one time I brought in some green beans in a can to eat because I get hungry and when I sat down in the theater I pulled out my can opener and started opening my can and these black people started staring at me and then one said "yo nigga you eating green beans" and started laughing so I decided to be alpha for the day and set my can in the cup holder and looked him in the eyes and bent my head down and said very sternly and slowly "Don't. Mock. My. Food." but they weren't intimidated and yelled out "DIS NIGGAH EATIN BEANS" and I got nervous because people were starting to turn around and I just ran out without my beans and never came back in case someone recognized me. a couple days later I was walking around the local mall and I heard someone shout "BEANS" and I didn't know if they were talking about me but I never went back there either

there's lots of them

>teenage hoo-ahs throwing their pussies at you
>tell them to fuck off

literally cannot defend this unless you are gay or they are ugly as sin tbqh

I guess the only other one I saw was the virgin walk one, maybe another

A couple bad ones; here's one:
>sitting near the back of a pretty full house, two seats open to my left when previews start
>sweetiwonthavetositnexttoanybody.bat
>see group of 5-6 late teens walk in
>too many to sit next to me
>they split up - most sit near the front the one girl sits next to me
>she waves one of the dudes to take the other seat
>goddammit.png
>at the start of every action or intense scene he pulls out his phone and starts filming and then texts it to someone
>literally every time I start to get immersed a bright white light comes on two seats next to me and yanks me out of the movie
>lean over the girl and loudly whisper, obviously pissed off
>COULD YOU PUT THAT AWAY?
>girl jumps back and gasps, clearly startled
>guy immediately says yes
>FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIE
>yes
>a few minute later he leaves his seat and joins his friends near the front
>starts pulling out his phone again
>mfw

Sometimes fear to fuck up opportunities is enough to not take them.

what the fuck? where's the chad version

Yeah this, the chad doing the splits on the bench makes me laugh.

...

was with this chick and she picked The Happening. Not only was the movie shit but I made this awkward "hand over her shoulders"move and she made this face that made me take my hand back immediately

>never seen a stall on his life
Does Chad shit in the urinals?

>Go to cvs before movie starts to get some cheap candy
>post easter sale baby 50% off
>snag the jumbo chocolate bunny
>sneak it in to the theatre with my big ass hoodie
>crack that shit open while the rest of the theatre turns to see me eating a giant ass chocolate bunny in the mid row
>mixed with the salty taste of popcorn it's cinema perfection

Don't even remember the movie but I remember that bunny

...

Holy shit this image repeats the same thing like 30 times.

Terrible.
1/10

Kino post

It's funny how pissing with your pants all the way down is considered retarded
We're coming full circle

I mean, at least he was polite enough not to do it right next to you anymore

>The Chad Sprinkle

EVERY TIME

best
>went with mom, dad, and siblings to watch jumanji
>small theater down town before it went bankrupt because of giant cineplexes
>mom passed away
>dad an alcoholic
>few memories like that

worst
>first job after uni
>get sent out of town
>like 18 our trip
>coworkers already there are supposed to help me get installed
>instead pick me up and say they want to go see a movie
>don't want to say no, i'm new and don't want to start things on a bad note, staying there a couple months
>it's one of the fucking Fast and Furious sequels
>i'm tired, hungry, hate them and the movie
>they want to get the early screening because they sleep early because work
>have to eat shit snackbar hotdogs until movie ends
god, i hate them

>he doesnt leave big mud monkeys in the urinal for the janitor to clean up

>the virgins dangling feet
This artist is truly a master.

these drawings reek of projection

You're a fucking retard my man

virgin detected

all normies deserve death

...

...

Damn man, your good story reminds me of my dad taking me to Batman begins. I miss him

That's the joke, dumbass

You don't understand autism

Yes that's it

Why is he screaming

you reek of summer

>Go to a movie with my mentally retarded tourettes having cousin
>he keeps kicking the seat of the person in front of him
>guy turns around and starts a huge commotion
>explain that my cousin is a retard
>guy continues to make a scene
couldn't even enjoy the movie

Retarded people should be euthanized, the pieces of shit.

Battle cry

Maximizing sound

You've obviously never been made fun of by girls. This does not constitute flirting you retard.

oh my god am I a chad? I ironically eat popcorn during the quietest, most dramatic scenes.

>thinks everyone is looking at him
fuck this is me, i hate this shit

if they are making fun of you they won't talk to you for prolonged periods of time.

usually what will happen is that they will shoot some glances at you, whisper among themselves, glances at you some more thinking they are hidden but is actually being obvious as fuck and laugh "quietly".

>going to the cinema all alone as always
>the usual routine, bought two tickets and the multiculturally approved combo of hummus and goatmilk, family size
>also brought a womens jacket which I hold on my right arm when I enter
>"Excuse me sir but where is your companion?"
>"Oh she's at the bathroom no worries" *point at the jacket*
>"Enjoy your kíno sir"
>a bit sweaty from that interaction but it all seems good, have plenty of time to cool down during ads
>lights go off, movie finally starts
>let out the last few farts from the warm goatmilk so I can finally enjoy my highly anticipated flick
>suddenly the opening credits are stopped, cinema staff bullies come in with flashlights
>Saw a guy drinking the offensive Coca Cola drink so they gotta be after him
>but the main cinema bully flashes right at me and yells "RIGHT THERE! GET THE LOSER"
>they are clearly onto me, should've brought a more convincing and expensive women's jacket
>the whole row is throwing me out, spitting and throwing stones at me
>cinema staff bullies drag me out of there with the whole crowd cheering and clapping
>"This is the third time you broke the 'no singles policy', you're going to jail you fucking weirdo"
>they throw me in the cinema jail, small dirty cell with no windows or toilet (pic related), just a designated shitting corner
>they don't tell me the time or date so I don't know if I was there for weeks or months
>survive on eating only leftover spilled cinema hummus and sheep blood which the cinema staff scrapes of the floor of every screening
>get to know all the other losers in nearby cells, we form a secret women hating club in there
>one other loser overhears our conversation and starts yelling at us
>brawl ensues, cinema jail clans are fighting to death
>I pretend dead so the staff throws me out in the dumpster with the rest of the bodies
>wait for the night to fall and run back home to my room
>have to start collecting good boy points all over again

and that's why I torrent

>at corner store Friday night
>just want to get a coke
>two drunk teens waddling around trying to get some dick
>flirting with everyone
>their attention falls towards me
>shake my head "no"
>completely kill the mood, all the other guys are just looking at me like

It's like the deers when they are in rut.To let females know he's fertile

>asks out of desperation "So are you here by yourself?!?!" with an annoyed tone

I unrionically have no idea what the mentality of this situation is

...

>Sometimes fear to fuck up opportunities is enough to not take them.
Sure, if you're a beta. You fuck up so what? Not like you'd ever see them again

>decided to be alpha for the day and set my can in the cup holder and looked him in the eyes and bent my head down and said very sternly and slowly "Don't. Mock. My. Food."

>I was walking around the local mall and I heard someone shout "BEANS"
Holy fuck HAHAHA

One of the biggest revelations on the plot of life is that you are actually a chad and not a beta like all the guys on Sup Forums. I know that feel, i have also been there.

>in public
>try to sit as still as possible
>body starts shaking
it's the fucking worst

If you're doing it ironically then it's autism. Doing so without being conscious of it is a real sign of chadsbergers.

Wow... did you even look at the pic OP posted? That's you, bro.

It was like this image was made for me

fucking kill yourself

I do all these and Im not a virgin. In fact I do it most often after fucking my gf, I get this intense urge to watch diablo 2 speed runs.

>Watching United 93 years ago
>Ate way too much popcorn with that buttery shit
>Stomach is suddenly killing me
>Can't move because someone might know, I'm frozen
>Sweat starts dripping down my forehead
>As it gets to the scene where the plane is falling the fear only makes it worse
>Right before the plane hits the ground I rip the biggest shart
>The whole theater is laughing
>The black guy next to me starts yelling "Ay this dude seriously shit is pants!"
>Run out of the theater crying

>most often after fucking my gf, I get this intense urge to watch diablo 2 speed runs

>go to local kínoráma
>buy a ticket for Avengers: Rise of the Antagonist 2000 for 74,99$
>the cashier leans over the counter handing me the ticket and a polymer-framed, short recoil-operated, locked-breech semi-automatic Glock pistol
>the ticket says "Congratulations, today you're the designated cinema shooter, have fun operating!"
>I nod at the cashier, she nods back
>sit on the far left near the first row
>wait for the ads and trailers to pass, slightly nervous
>opening credits finally start
>I immediately get up and shoot up the whole row
>whole theater get's up in excitement and start clapping and cheering as I reload
>I proceed to shoot up the whole theater with a tear in my eye, trying my hardest not to make anyone feel ignored
>the kids birthday section were visibly the most excited
>as I finish the cinema staff comes in congratulating and sweeping the spilled popcorn, guts and blood
>they even let me keep the Glock
>manager even sends me a thank you card at my home for the good work

Best 74,99$ ever spent.

What I do is just put on netflix on my phone and lay the screen down and just fall asleep listening to the show/movie. That or listen to some youtube video. my fave to is youtu.be/MASjtPaOdgg

>Watch The Revenant on a huge screen
>In the middle of the movie, some chicks walks into the theater and sits in the very first raw
>Starts taking selfies, blinding the entire audience with the flash
>Does this for a few minutes
>Leaves the theater like nothing happened

I know that feel. Except I really want to listen to certain music after

Jesus Christ man, that's terrifying. Back when I used to do coke I started losing control when I farted and shitting my pants at work or somewhere I couldn't get away was my biggest fear. The silver lining is that I now have outstanding sphincter control.

>>oh fuck(1080 YIFY).mkv
This is probably the funniest part of your post.

>Friend adult brother took us to see Batman Returns
>Watched the film
>Drove us home afterwards

...

>tfw watching HC hell any%

>not AR-15/Garand/M14/M1911
How unpatriotic. Is this how it's done in Libtard land?

more like the millennial rest

He even resembles me. FML.

t. millennial

>hair looks exactly the same in the morning
fucking chad

>fucking teenaged girls and going to jail
>being known as that weird guy in his 20s who fucks teenaged girls

...

Why does having something sticking out of the bed feel so RADICAL? Is it some old evolution leftover from when you had to be as small as possible while sleeping to be safe?

ahahah dumbass

...

next time just put a glock in your green beans and if anybody says anything about the beans you just shoot him right there user

>oh fuck(1080 YIFY).mkv

>wanting to smash
>wanting to smash thots
>not jerking to kino i'm talking cinematography and landscape pans you couldn't begin to imagine
>being a fucking pleb
wew lad its like you want to be the lowest common denominator.

Best
>dark night rises first night of showing
>center upper middle seats
>went to a great party after


Worst

>a guy I knew who was popular asked me for a midnight projection of the hobbit (he couldn't get anyone else to go with him but I did it anyway because I was desperate for friends)
>spend 3 hours watching a movie I didn't even want to watch

That's too close to home. Same thing happened to me but about a new jacket I was wearing.

To be fair, now that I think about it years later, I deserved what I got. It was a bright red wool jacket with a giant retarded animu robot on the back. I was such a retarded kid.

never post again you unfunny person.

how many? where can i find them all?

>looks at feet to determine who is around him
y-yeah, thats why i look at feet

Worst AND Best:
>be young
>go to theatre with friend for the first time without parents
>it's fucking sold out
>we just go out and walk the sidewalk, having our own fun
>we talk, we joke, we walk
>we have a great time
>don't even care that we didn't see the movie
>get home
>tell parents what happened
>they get mad that I didn't call or came back as soon as I found out it was sold out
>grounded as fuck
>have to wait another fucking year before being allowed at the theatre without parents supervision

>so I decided to be alpha for the day and set my can in the cup holder and looked him in the eyes and bent my head down and said very sternly and slowly "Don't. Mock. My. Food."
pure fucking autism, holy fuck

>we talk, we joke, we walk
How do I know you're a faggot?

>be 13
>go to theatre alone
>gang of older kids (16-17) sit behind me
>one of them start to kick my chair
>I try to stay cool
>another starts to flick my ears
>they giggle like mad
>I still try to play it cool and act like they'r enot doing anything
>another is poking the back of my head with a pen
>I stand up to leave, almost in tears
>"Sit the fuck down, you're not going anywhere!"

3 gums in my hair and a cut up jacket later and I was "allowed" to leave.

...

man, this picture just blew me the fuck out. I've been exposed.

now this is quality trolling.

>he's never had a true friend as a kid that he could just hang out with and be himself with

Sad. Yoy missed out. Nothing compares to kid frienships. Teen and adults friendships are not 'true' frienships.