ITT: They've found the porn

ITT: They've found the porn.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=q-tMpouIwpA
getpocket.com/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>parents go to google and type the letter "P"

Run!

>pastebin.com
>parents find the hundreds of hours worth of cringey fan-ficion I've written
Literally worse than death.

I accept this.

>tfw They found my gay incest stash

brother, dad. uncle, or cousin?

...

>tfw dad passes out during grad party while watch porn
>tfw embarrassed that all friends can see said porn throught big ass living room window from party in back yard
Told him no more so he asked me for advice. Give him some sites. Turns out we have similar taste in porn stars from the last time I checked his history.

>Traps
>Tomboys
>Incest (Mother-Son + Brother-Sister)
>All my Zone/Minus8 Flashes (all of 'em)

>"So what...ARE you interested in?"


>"Everything."

>"HEY user WHAT'S THIS 'NEW FOLDER'?"

Even worse is the flash of instant hindsight where you knew exactly how to prevent this exact scenario but were too busy fapping to do it.

Who's "they"?

>"Tax Returns 1992? You were born in 1993."
>mfw

Your Parents,Spouse, Boss And/or the Police

...

I don't have any porn saved on my hard-drive since I don't watch it but I do have gigabytes and gigabytes worth of videos and photos of NFL cheerleaders. I would still probably suffocate on the sheer amount of embarrassment

Well all the stuff I've got is legal where I live so fuck da police.
Other than that, well. Not like they never watch porn, they've got no grounds to judge me.
All that BDSM, the futas, the MILFs, the traps, the muscle girls, the monster girls, the endless femdom
Oh dear. Excuse me.

>I don't watch it
why not? I don't care who you are, there's something for everyone.

>how to prevent this exact scenario
A folder named "Don't Open This" didn't work for MadThad either

...

...

Good God the stuff on my laptop should never see the light of day.

I would likely an hero if my parents found even the 'normal' stuff.

I also don't live with my parents, so I'd probably be asking them why they're in my house.

All of the above.

>someone will find my sissifcation femdom porn when I die
>they may find it before I actually die

>sissification femdom
Good taste.

>they find it before you die
>they begin to sissify you
You've been a bad boy, user, but you still have a chance to be a good girl.

>They found my vore folder

Oh no.

>They've found the porn
They've found an encrypted 64Gb thumbdrive with the 20-character password stored nowhere and a volume name that suggests absolutely nothing in particular.

It has no porn on it.

Best parents.

>he lets his internet brower save his search history

It's all just a smokescreen for the real porn stash... right?

...

user's fetish is invisibility

>Explaining futa
>In real life

>not denial

> I don't know how to store porn on encrypted removable devices

I suppose this is your only recourse then
youtube.com/watch?v=q-tMpouIwpA

This.
Post the Watchmen Picture.

>they found my """alternative""" vore folder

Just tell them you're gay. It'll be easier that way.

In this particular case Rorschach was actually right

>He doesn't save porn to his computer
What's your plan when someone forgets to pay the internet bill?

It means no worries

Let's run down the list of faggoty porn I have to look at to get a stiffy to:

>Straight
>Lesbian
>Fat
>Pregnant
>Breast Expansion
>Dick and Balls expansion
>Hyper Breasts
>Hyper Pregnancy
>Hyper Balls
>Hyper Balls and Dick on a Chick
>Vore
>Dick Vore
>Hard Vore
>All of the above in Furry, being a huge majority Because what other fucking faggots draw this shit in bulk?

Looks like killing myself is the only option.

All this shit is off the records, no downloaded files, no written notes, nothing. All collected on a different site. I'd have to fuck up super hard to be caught with this assload of shitty porn.

Only one thing left to do now.

Whack it to yourself, obviously.

...

I'm upset I know exactly what picture this is.

My immediate plan would be to pay the internet bill.
If not then I have a backlog of vidya and comics to get through.
Plus I have a phone, I'm not an animal.

When are they going to come up with the technology that links your computer to your vital signs? So when you die, the computer virtually self destructs.

>Hyper Pregnancy

What the fuck is Hyper Pregnancy???

I don't have a porn stash, I just browse Derpibooru and etc.

slimy yet satisfying

>not saving furry porn
That shit is gonna disappear and you'll be pissed when you can't find that one picture.

Also good taste outside of hard vore.

Each time someone gets on my computer, I get scared that this will be the day I forgot to move something out of Downloads
Luckily, my room is boiling hot during the day so nobody ever comes in here.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I can only imagine the talks at gay camp.

I've had to explain what shirbari is to my parents, but thankfully it was because of an episode of The Goodwife and not a folder called "ropes", which is in the trap/shota folder.

>They find that one folder
>The one you've been meaning to clear out
>The one which you've had since middle school
>The one full of bad deviantart wank material

This thread is giving me a panic attack.

Imagine liters, but on human/anthros to the point where the belly becomes hyper

But assuming they knew...

...

>spoiler
Clever.
>The one you've had since middle school
Oh man. That was like 9 years ago.

Things have to get really weird for me to do it with no internet, and I almost never have the required privacy since my sister became a NEET

>tfw my brother found my loli folder a couple weeks ago when he was using my computer to type up a paper
>all of our interactions since then have been awkward and he's put in significant effort to avoid speaking to me if possible

>tfw you live alone

Guest. Account.

>mfw C://Users/Libraries/Pictures/Porn
That's actually how I do it.

What possible reason would he have to dig around your folders? Was it a paper on sexual deviancy?

>C://Users/Libraries
You have a user named Libraries

Well looks like there's only two solutions left /user/

>1984
Damn I'm old.

How would you destroy a hard drive so no one can ever know your weird fetishes? Nothing against the law, just nothing I'm comfortable having discovered by anyone who really knows me. Thermite seems dangerous and not worth it.

>Chilling with some friends trying to figure out where to eat
>Say "We can try that new shibari place"
>Immediately realize what I said and desperately trying to think of an excuse
>Everyone thinks I said hibachi and nobody questions me

you don't?

He'll get over it, you're family and you love each other. Just make sure it's not illegal where you are.

I've 'tismed out and devoted my favorite pics/fics/etc to memory in case of the end times.

My soul is ready, but my dick is sore.

Luckily my brother and I are both entirely non-judgemental when it comes to fetishes. I've absolved him of whatever degeneracy he's into, but he has no idea how deep my stash goes.

That has only made me more arrogant and brazen, and every time I bring my laptop out into the wild I try to remember if I deleted my browsing history.

>Have roommates
>Roommate needs to borrow laptop/external HDD because fuck all
>Lend it out
>FORGOT ABOUT THE INNOCUOUSLY NAMED HIDDEN FOLDER
>Roommate kept harddrive for a bit longer
>Not sure if he found it

WHEW.

Wait fuck you now I'm upset I can't be served sushi by women with ropes pressing into their cooches.

Magnets.
Fire.

Pregnancy that looks like she's carrying a fucking giant's baby. Usually it's 50 or something kids, rarely it is just one big ass baby.

It's pretty fucking retarded.


I know, it fucking stupid how many people flip their shit and delete their whole gallery, but I don't want it physically on my computer. If I had a site I can transfer the picture to, maybe also tag it or separate it into files to view from there, I'd be good. Otherwise, I want to completely avoid ever downloading the pictures or keeping them on my computer.

Also I don't like hard vore, it's pretty shitty. There's some decent pictures that barely have any blood or torn limbs, but that's a 1/100 chance. I only put it there because of those 5 or so pictures I got saved somewhere online.

Even funnier, I'm straight as hell. I fap to balls because I like to imagine myself having them.

>bring my laptop out into the wild
Nigga you crazy.

Take a sledgehammer and mash it up so you can micros what's left

>your friends find it
>they bulky you into dressing like a girl for fun
>things go too far
>friends use their cocks to brush the inside of your asshole

Go to Japan, I bet they've got places like that.

> I read Hardblush

>living with your family

If you're lucky, you might be able to find a strip club that has a bondage night. You need to be even luckier to find someone who will go with you

Going to recommend an extension called Pocket. My friend used it to great effect and rec'd it to me. It allows you to create your own tags and does not back anything up on your computer. Most of it is stored in the cloud (I think, I can't into computer).

getpocket.com/

What does everybody else use?

Times are tough. Can't live on my own with a dead end job. I need to fucking get out of this house.

>they find out about my secret incest fetish

Well that could either be a good or bad thing

>they type "R"

It's almost exclusively a bad thing.

I have several friends that I'm on very good terms with who'd let me move in with them when something like this happens
I've also got $500 set aside to pay rent if this goes down. Porn is no joke

Sometimes, but only when it randomly appears in a thread.

Cool, but I want to be 110% safe. Sorry, I want it to be as hard to find as Waldo in a striped shirt convention.

Do I have to download the extension? Or can I sign up, use the site directly without downloading the extension to save files, then whenever I feel like it go there, log in, and have access to the images?

Your family the religious type, then?

He jokes on them I went incognito

It's good to have backups.
>That feel when your perversions and the internet are actually a fucking big deal
>That feel when you will never be truly safe so long as you don't have trusted roommates.

You do have to download an installer, and it is linked to a specific chrome account. I have mine linked to the second chrome account, BUT it sounds like you need your own personal cloud or something.

you and half the other retards in the thread don't get it.

You used incog, but they still found it.

I know, believe me I know

My dad and I have been to a strip club together. He doesn't care about me looking at porn, I'm just worried the categories I have will spook him
No clue how my mom would react, but I know it wouldn't be good.
Honestly, I'd just rather move out and wait or the situation to blow over.

i've commissioned a bunch of porn of a particular iteration of a character and i keep it all in the same folder as my screenshots of him

i am in constant fear that someone will go snooping and peek around that folder to see how many caps i have of him and then see other things