Spider-Man #5 storytime

Hey kids, its time for another Bendis-ing! And booooy does it get pretty Bendisey than usual!

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Bendisey?

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Means there is another one of Bendis's pet characters or plotpoints in this issue.

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I thought Ganke was normal and had hots for Gwen.

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Already out?

>It's a "I'm respecting your son's privacy, but as a wiser parental figure I'm going to barge in anyways" type of drama

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Gawd, they are still going with this shitty mob boss direction for Felicity.

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And all this because SpOck punched your tooth out and arrested you.

I think the last panels would've been better without the thought bubbles

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That venom blast thingy might be a tad OP, might as well be shocker with spidey powers

Miles should give her the dick

What exactly is unlucky about that? Black Cat doesn't block powers.

Superior Spider-man was a mistake.

>Momma Morales not letting herself get dragged into Bendis speak

No they just gave a some what better explanation in Silk. She was retiring from both villainy and heroing after aguiring a sizable nest egg. After she was caught it was all gone and all her heroing didn't get her anything.

He tried to shoot web with hand he didn't have web shooter on, I guess.

But user, as soon as another black teen hero comes around, she'll want to replace black Spider dick.

This shit is getting dumber and dumber each page. It really makes me sad that people are paying for this.

Does Bendis know that hammerhead is an adamantium android?

>Rebirth

Kay, I laughed

Did they actually take a Venom blast or dodge it?

I see the police station gag is still going

>tad OP
Did you miss Miles oneshotting Blackheart with it?

Well.... Now I don't know how if I should feel sorry for her or something

Are you retarded?

>rebirth
no, it can't be...

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Not only would she most likely be even crazier up close that unnatural obsession is just creepy

Oh hey, I've seen her before. She's on that Netflix show.

So she didn't even use her powers because he wasn't even wearing webshooters?
So her power didn't even matter.

No, but what point are you trying to make here?

>I keep wanting out but they keep dragging me back in

Well, bump for people who haven't read it and whatnot. Be back next month for a tie-in to a down the drain nonsensical sequel event.

That's using it on a monster with strange biology, not being Jesus in an explosion.

she gon /ss/ Miles?

Ok, now Bendis is just throwing a tantrum because Rebirth sold more than CWII...

He has a web shooter on other hand. Miles' bad luck probably was that he used the hand without web shooter on, even though he would've caught her if only he used other hand.

duh
Superior should of applied to an ok hero that has just never tried reaching their potential. Spider-Man handles stuff out of his weight class on a daily basis. Like what if there were Superior Nova, finally with the ability to command respect. Or Magik all demon-ed out. Or Black Knight's sword all of a sudden starts controlling light and will make the daytime turn dark.
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Who else should of been Superiored instead of Spidey?

Why is she suddenly on everyone's speed dial, I mean i get the business, she was just the star of a popular show, but from a story perspective why is she suddenly in demand so much.

I don't think you get how luck works

Well her main competition is Jessica 'Fuckup' Drew.

It would have been her or drew, honestly I wouldn't doubt it was a coin flip (or someone realizes that she has enough shit on her plate with the baby and world hopping adventures)

It is the power that improvises. Not unlike Bendis himself. He might as well be the Sentry the way this shit works.

Silk tends to make you feel bad for her, especially the latest issue. It was pretty good.

I wonder how this chick would react if Miles ever gives Ms.Marvel the ol venom sting...

It's not fair.jpg

As an SJW she would be forced to smile, but the basic female instict to claim he hubando would cause a split personality, then she gets doused in radioactive waste or super drugs or whatever is the popular power giver.

She's a parody of tumblr, so she'd be disappointed he's not gay.

When is Bombshell coming back?

that's kinda funny I guess idk. This issue was kinda of a mixed bag.

The "Luck" was Felicia completely evading Miles' OP shock-web bullshit when no one else in the room could.

She causes bad luck for others, not good for her.

boi that girl is dead and it sucks so much

fuck black cat is an annoying character I forgot how boring she was as a character.

No, Bombshell is in 616, she appeared for like 2 pages in Spider-Man 3, but not in costume.

Ultimate Gwen's entire universe died with her in the final Incursion, 616 Gwen is still dead, and I don't know if Ganke has seen Spider-Gwen at all.

It's almost as if good writers establish solid, rational motivations (within the context of the character's logic and personality) for why badguys do what they do??

this looks like the beginning of a bara porn

I mixed her with ms marvel. (forgot she didn't have her shapeshifting powers anymore)

was ganke always this ugly?

i remember him being somewhat cute when he was younger.

>She causes bad luck for others, not good for her.
"Unluckily for Miles, his OP godhax sting-web bullshit just narrowly missed giving Felicia's shiny pvc-clad posterior the shocker of her life."

She's probably only just started going back to work after taking time off to be a full time mother and wife.

I wish she'd hire Patsy. They had fun interactions in that issue of Hellcat

>inb4 Ganke x Gwenpool

Does Miles remember Ultimate Gwen?

Does he feel bad that she wasn't one of the people that Molecule Man sent with him? Is Spider-Gwen a constant reminder?

Yeah, I'm waiting for this since Goldballs appears. Also, "Goldballs", what a gay pornstar name...

Too bad you can actually she her jumping away from it.

ultimate gwen is dead

i'm kinda confused now was the thing with the fingerprints suppose to be callback that that's not this universe miles morales or was it that shield have erased his personal information.

Bendis said in the civil war arc

Spider-Milf is looking hot

I don't hate Bendis the way Sup Forums does but everything about this is really bad. At least the art is good.

The shield thing going by Hill and Skinny powerman

I guess Bendis can't make jokes about 616 events now that Miles is part of that universe, huh?

It's because Bendis knows he'll sell even if he phones it in. These past 6 issues could have been told in half the time it took, but he just keeps stretching things out so that he can kill time for the next event.

I seriously thought it was Judge in the last panel. As if he was a secret agent spying on Miles.

If you look closely you'll notice that everyone in the room is actually jumping away from it.
Felicia, however, is the only one that seems to have invincibility frames, tho.

At least he is only raping his own characters for now.

I don't even have a problem with the pacing it's just everything happening being dumb and contradictory and pointless.

>was ganke always this ugly?
He was sort of cute when Marquez was drawing him when he grew up but Pichelli started drawing him again as she originally designed him, but older. And his original design was definitely an ugly kid.

>You're a vigilante

What? Since when has that mattered in the Marvel universe?

She's pointing out Miles can't actually arrest her, since he's not a cop

>Drawn completely different than how she looks in other books

Woo consistency.

This seemed like an ok issue,vthe main problem for me being that OP venom sting or blast or whatever.

sad that this is what miles story is now fucking boring slow and literally nothing happens.

He's literally better being a side character.

Seems like nitpicking since he could still drop her off at the station and I'm sure they could charge her with something.

zero balls on screen
0/10

That's always been the main problem with Miles, unfortunately.

Oh, good, I was really looking forward to seeing the super venom blast again.