'Transformers: The Last Knight' Review: Michael Bay's Latest Is 2017's Most Toxic Movie

Saw this on Extra today.

rollingstone.com/movies/reviews/peter-travers-transformers-5-is-2017s-most-toxic-movie-w488595

>Somehow all this leads to a climactic, planet-saving battle at Stonehenge (is nothing sacred?) in which we're pounded with so much clanking noise and mind-crushing action. The director hints that No. 5 may be his last go at the franchise. Hold the hallelujahs: Bay has set a pattern that can go on poisoning the well as long this stuff turns a profit. It's not just that he is killing the art of movies – he's killing the joy of movies as well. His cynical, untouched-by-human-hands approach to filmmaking is that a sucker is born every minute and he's here to serve. My dream is that this whole tapped-out robo series will transform into a turd and audiences will have the good sense to flush it. That's an ending for you.

What do you think? Is he right?

Other urls found in this thread:

rollingstone.com/movies/reviews/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-movie-review-still-a-blast-w478256
youtube.com/watch?v=-_j83oGnnt4
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moriaen
youtube.com/watch?v=mbyzgeee2mg
youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Can't he just go back to small scale stuff like Pain and Gain? He can still do action sequences and explosions and get A-listers, but also make films worth seeing.

Pain and Gain was pretty good, I admit. Though I still think Bay is fucked up in the head to turn a true story about torture and murder into a goofy comedy.

>wtf I love transformers now
how fucking vapid does that effeminate millenial asshole has to be to claim intellectual superiority because he doesn't like fucking transformer movies, what a cunt.

>Toxic

That was the major gripe of critics too. I guess we're supposed to feel bad for the victims being made into a farce, but the movie portrayed them as awful people too. Maybe he should pick the same thing but go further back in history.

So it seems like every capeshit movie out there

After Wonder Woman I don't trust in critics anymore

Why not after Ghostbusters 2016?

Why not after Jurassic world?

Why not Zoidberg?

Didnt Ghostbusters come out before Jurassic World?

Toxic is a word used by people who hate white masculinity, so I imagine this movie is full of it and that's why they hate it.

>le reddit snarky non-review

last one has some shit about sex with a minor being legal if this and that, so he probably did more of the same

>filename
nice touch

Bay be like: Bitch i aint got time to read the review, im already making the next one because i got millions and millions of dollars for it

I think the most successful directors, at least in terms of making money, are the ones who ignore the critics. Because time and again, the critics' opinions are not in line with the average viewers. Which is why I find it really weird that when people report on how a film is doing critically they act as if scathing critical reviews are representative of the public opinion.

>I don't like his tone so his point is incorrect

Well, people need their justifications for hating on a movie other people like. Lest they have to form an opinion of their own.

Go away zoidberg!

It actually had fem nest shit in it but so in your face it put you in an 5 second coma.

I LIKED THE PART WHEN THE FAT GIRL WANTED TO FUCK THE BLACK GUY IT WAS SO FUNNY.

I CLAPPED

I don't remember that part.

I am buying a ticket just to stick it to faggots like this

>It's not just that he is killing the art of movies

If this guy says this but gives the MCU good reviews he should kill himself out of shame.

>If this guy says this but gives the MCU good reviews he should kill himself out of shame.
Since we have his name, let's check.

rollingstone.com/movies/reviews/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-movie-review-still-a-blast-w478256

>Or you can banish all the psychological probing and just roll with the nonstop fun and games. Gunn never runs out of fresh funny business for the Guardians. There are monsters to vanquish (Abilisk, yikes!), hilarious bits to invent (Groot and the Death Button!), insults to fire off (Rocket to Quinn: "Hope daddy isn't as much of a dick as you are, orphan boy"), and more sequels to set up (look for Avengers: Infinity War next year). Remarkably, Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 still has the loosey-goosey feel of a rogue epic that the kids made when the grown-ups weren't watching. Only a turd blossom could resist it.

>got no time to read reviews while in working on the sequel!

Is that a picture of Michael Bay? He looks like a fucking giraffe.

youtube.com/watch?v=-_j83oGnnt4

not just this, but capeshit too.

No, they are a year apart. JW was 2015.

That's a pretty sexy accent. Who is this actress?

I, too, buy tickets to films I have no intention to see. I use them as impromptu toilet paper.

ur mom XD

well well well, what do we have here hmh

No, admittedly my mother is much more attractive.

>2017
>every other wide release film is capeshit
>makes billions
>praised to the sky by useless paid "critics"
>somehow a dumb robot movie is what's "most toxic"

think she was fat amy in pitch perfect

I really don't understand where this guy gets off using "toxic." Since when have the Transformers films ever espoused bigotry?

Any time some diseased fuckhole uses the terms:
"toxic" or "objectifying women", I reflexively take the opposite opinion and make a plan to piss on their grave.

>it falls to the "turd-blossoms" to recognize that a movie is "a turd" and to "flush" it
pottery

>stonehenge
>sacred

Ancient ruins are all fake. Blame the Masons. We have not been here that long.

This guy seems to have a strange fascination with turds.

it took you Wonder Woman to do that?
they falling head over heels over Guardians Of The Galaxy and Ant-Man made me question my tastes but then they groveled over TFA and that did it for me

Now, admittedly Guardians of the Galaxy wasn't as good as it could have been, but I have to say, Vol. 2 was a genuinely good film. I don't have a problem with the critics praising it, if anything it bothers me that most of them can't shut up about how "it's not as good as the original" when it is actually better in a few ways.

Anything not actively tearing down white men is toxic.

>reviewers shitting on Transformers
Just more transphobia in action, I see.

Do you guys have any idea how fucking cringey you are inserting your lame Sup Forumsshit into every thread? Embarrassing tbqh

It's called a joke, fatass. Lighten up.

Wont read the review, wont watch last knight until i can put it on in the background at home. Transformers movies are fine until the transformers or military soldier faggots come on screen. Then the movie turns into dogshit until it ends.

Snarky non review that are not posted on Sup Forums are Reddit now
0/10

What the fuck do you watch a Transformers movie for if not for the Transformers?

>a black comedy made fun of real people who died

Nobody gives a shit and RLM showed what faggots they were when they dedicated so much time to this issue.

>RLM showed what faggots they were when they dedicated so much time to this issue.
What the fuck are you talking about?

Ever had an opinion of your own or do you let Mike & Jay do all your thinking for you?

In their review of it they acted like this was some reprehensible line Michael Bay was crossing.

Ignoring all the times they've done the exact same shit. They just wanted to shit on a Bay movie and couldn't come up with legitimate reasons so they came off like hypocrites.

Does that mean /we/ like it now? Is it true Transformers kino?

I saw this tonight. better than the last one. far less product placement and far less pandering to China.

Anhony hopkins had some great lines but the film was still pretty silly and unnecessary.

When did they do the exact same thing?

>Michael Bay finally quits Transformers
>it immediately becomes a yearly franchise where the films are made without any regard for how they'll be received because they are completely secure in the fact that they will be financially successful

What's up with that?

Fuck critics,this was the best one! I don't trust them after TFA and GotG! Shitty movies!

The BEST ONE? Really?

>effeminate millenial asshole

That reviewer's been reviewing for Rolling Stone since 1989, you plebbit casual

Effeminate Gen X asshole, then.

White Knight detected. How's your fedora?

Last Knight detected.*

This always baffled me. It can't possibly be worse than GotG.

I just watched it what a fucking awful movie, just a bloated mess. Also that black knight of the round table, we wuz knights nigga.

What exactly is wrong with GotG. Explain to me.

Christ, Sup Forums. PaG sucks, at least post something like Bad Boys 2.

......................Shit just got real.

>My dream is that this whole tapped-out robo series will transform into a turd and audiences will have the good sense to flush it.

This person gets money for writing.

>Also that black knight of the round table, we wuz knights nigga.

I assume he was supposed to be Morie, makes more sense than King Arthur's Bedivere being black just cuz

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moriaen

Not a surprise that racist memers on Sup Forums don't know anything about history.

linkin park background music

I'm gonna go watch it in a couple of hours.
Got free cinema tickets, otherwise I wouldn't bother.
I don't really mind the other Transformer films even though it's just explosions and CGI clusterfuck.

Making fun of dead people is kind of their thing. Watch best of the worst.

Did they actually continue to use Linkin Park songs after the first one? That's the only one I watched.

What songs can I look forward to if I continue the series?

>planet-saving battle at Stonehenge (is nothing sacred?)
Hasn't he already blown up Petra and the Pyramids of Giza? Stonehenge isn't that impressive in comparison.

youtube.com/watch?v=mbyzgeee2mg

Even the guy in the seat next to me groaned at Guardians. I honestly can't believe I saw the same movie the critics did.

I almost suspect it was paid, because the idea is so stupid to begin with, maybe they said "oh shit, we made a retarded movie, lets pretend its fun quirky and unique and get critics writing that everywhere, maybe the plebs will buy it"

Ask all the 13 year olds that watched for Megan Fox

You're probably too young to enjoy it. My parents love Guardians because it has tons of music from their time.

Give us your thoughts after you've seen it. The thread will probably still be up.

Why not after The Force Awakens?

This

these are critics...

>>Sup Forums's so contrarian it defends transformers movies.
Why they're just 2 and a half hours of Bay wanking off the US military (and china in the 4th the because he like money even more then his jingoism).
The humans are retarded and get to much screen time
The Transformers are useless, hideous and perfunctory.
The stories don't make sense or fit together at all.
And the action isn't even good because 90% of the time its humans on transformers with the humans winning even Prime only gets like one action scene per flim.

Is there anything wrong with wanking off the US military? They're fucking awesome.

>and more sequels to set up (look for Avengers: Infinity War next year).
This is something he includes as a positive. Cunt.

And it's no surprise that you don't.

Why bother learn history when you can rewrite it?

Because I paid for transforming alien fights not a 2hour long US recrutment ad?
Besides in the lore transformers can shrug off most human weapons short of tactical missiles and or nukes, it takes the Army what one battle to arm themselves with with ap rounds that foot soldiers can use to take the bayformers out.

Rebel wilson our greatest australian mistake.

It's the le epic rap battle guy as Bay.

youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA

>PaG sucks
user I...

Just came back from watching TLK

What a trainwreck

>Squeeks is literally a retarded child robot, was shot from the start and never repaired, the only thing it ever said is mumbling 'chihuahua'

>Suicide Squad-like sequence when Megatron striked a deal with the humans, he demanded his captured decepticons to be freed by drafting them one by one, pending approval from government agent man. The decepticons had a generic action shot, froze frame, then their name is printed in big red letters, just like in Suicide Squad. A few of them were killed quickly too, within the next 20 mins or so

>barely any fights, Megatron barely got any screen time. Megatron is someone else's (quintessa) lackey once again

>the tough little girl who needs no man was a pointless character, you could've removed all the scenes with her in it and the movie wouldn't be any different

>they tried to shove in too many plot points and end up zipping you through scene by scene as quickly as possible. Feels like I'm watching a shitty youtube video with tons of jump cuts

>too much suspension of disbelief. Before the final fight in the last 20 mins, Megatron and co acted surprised to be ambushed by the humans, even though they were in an open grass field with nothing blocking their view, and they could've seen the tanks and soldiers closing in on them in all directions from miles away

>Cogman was introduced as a headmaster, but they never did anything with it. He was in his humanoid form the whole movie

>the cerberus transformer is actually formed by the ancient 12 knight transformers combined together, cerberus never transform into robot mode

>earth is Unicron. They hinted at Unicron actually appearing in the next movie

tl;dr I got bamboozled by Michael Bay again. 2/10 would not recommend. The toys are godlike this time, though. Especially Voyager Megatron and Hound

But user, it's got hehs, and hahs, and LOLZ!
This is what mike and jay at RLM are still poor rapists; they don't describe the huehuehues they get enough.

So it's kino, huh? "Toxic" is code word for "good."

Wait so Sup Forums reviews are counted on review aggregate sites now? I had no idea!