tfw no sersha gf edition
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liking dogs is the canine version of being a nonce.
pet wolf or bust.
blue bolt during the day, frosty jacks at night
killing the brain one sip at a time
eating soup lads
sort yourself out you pathetic swine
Donald Trump has cancelled a planned visit to the UK in February, where he had been expected to open a new $1bn (£738m) US embassy in London.
The US president tweeted he was not a "big fan" of the new embassy - which is moving from Mayfair to south London.
He blamed Barack Obama's administration for a "bad deal" despite the fact the move was agreed under George W Bush.
lads since i started using coke i randomly get a (series of) sharp pain(s) in my chest. is this bad?
Flew Emirates recently after my motorbike crash and they upgraded me to business class free of charge since I was bandaged. Mini bar in the seat, with a full bar and bartender in the back of the cabin. But the biggest difference is how friendly and shockingly qt the flight attendants are
nah, chest pain is always good
literally can't tell if that is a bizarre excuse hiding a real reason for cancelling the trip or if that actually is the true reason
can't tell with Trump since he's such a mindboggling mong either could be true
I do enjoy their little hats
"Wow what a well-behaved Arab family"
What other sentences have never been uttered in real life?
no sound fine
u lads ever look at ur penis and think "what a strange thing that is"? just experienced this and wanted to see if any of the lads knew what i meant haha
if it's bothering you, do more coke until it stops.
"Have you met the new guy, Hans? He's hilarious!"
wow what a hilarious German
I don't have any trouble at all believing that he would cancel something like that for no other reason than not liking the decor
"Funny joke Hans!"
Nigel Farage, former Ukip leader and a friend of the US president, said the news was “disappointing” but that Mr Trump was “the real estate guy” and would know whether the new building was good value.
spineless brown noser
its obviously a lie
he doesnt want to be embarassed by the huge protests that londoners will stage when he comes here
wait til you see a vagina
not a commie but i get really sad when i remember the USSR doesn't exist anymore.
the world is so boring without two ideological superpowers playing against one another.
see what I mean
i remember a few months ago somebody posted a webm of a vag really close up and i just found it really festy proper grotty but i still wanted to put my penis inside it
drumpf has got a point about the embassy though
they moved from a prime spot in Mayfair to bloody vauxhall
burh....look at this dood....
*screams in your ear*
the old embassy was tiny, ugly ad insecure
the new one is huge, ugly, built like a fortress and directly next to the MI6 headquarters
its an objective improvement
irrelevant little semicolon on the arse of the world.
I've often thought about
The men where I came from
And times ago
Their sons, these days, are found
In US and Britannia care
And as I think about
In my mother's eyes I look and see the story there
It's a knowledge of beauty in these days rare
Go west, go west young man
West of hollow words and all that lies there
Go west, I'II sing an air
For all the previous
Wild black curly hair
For what use is anything
If I don't have the wisdom and warmth
Of my past generations
If I need strength
To take bad on
I just look back to
Where I came from
I look back where I came from
I've had respect, money and love
I've denied my beautiful heritage
Gone away from my roots and come back home again
I gave away my individuality
And listened to the "now" generation
When really I'm not one of those
But love has brought me closer to the truth and right now
I couldn't be any closer
To love your father is a fulfilling thing
My national pride is a personal pride
one medium pizza for 3 characters in big bang theory
i mean wtf penny whats your problem
what good is an embassy in a bloody car
he's got a point tbf
really fucking regret reading this post with a mouth full of sausage roll.
its an upgrade from a pack of fags
spot on, Boris
The US is the biggest single investor in the UK
radical idea: the biggest source of investment in the UK should be inward investment.
*screams at your willy*
Probably enough for them. They dont need to eat much theyre nerds. They will live longer eating less anyway
been to the what is probably now the former embassy since i went in 2014
they had scanners like at the airport outside the building
i think they had two sets and you had to through both
SNP are useless
can't take anything boris says seriously tbqh
cant take anything you say serioysly if your name is boris 2bh haha
imagine being a random worker in the American embassy in London and your boss just says one day that your entire workplace is so shit he won't even step foot in it lmao
*tries to hide it's hard by tucking it up into pants by the waist bit*
Irish class tonight lads. Cannot wait for the day i meet an irish lass so i can impress her by saying fish in her native tongue
got caught copying homework in school once
lied and said we'd worked together on it to learn better but not copied one another. got away with a warning.
State Visits to UK:
30 October 2007: King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia
25 October 2010: The Emir of Qatar
20 October 2015: President Xi Jinping of China
Labours face when these blatant human rights violaters and scum bags come to the UK, but Trump gets banned for saying things.
what's he like
and she won't have a clue what you're on about
Make Australia Great Again, Gold Coaster
I knew the Australians had weird place names but this takes the cake, this is worse than naming a city Wollongong.
False. Every irish person speaks irish. Source: /brit/
girl did this to me in like Y5 and she actually burst/damaged my eardrum and that ear has been a bit funny ever since, i.e. if any water ever goes in it'll make an annoying rumbly noise for hours instead of just draining out like my other ear
wonder if I could sue her for compensation
20 October 2015: President Xi Jinping of China
wasn't this one highly criticised because the government was loudly crowing about human rights violations somewhere else, but said nothing to the chinamen in case they refuse to buy up swathes of our country?
Trump gets banned for saying things.
but he wasn't banned, he elected not to come of his own volition.
"I love Trump so much!"
"So I'll accuse him of lying!"
no, they learn it in school then never use it again
being more vocal makes people pay attention
I want a white ethno state for my birthday
just finished an episode of rick and morty and can feel my intelligence increasing
sharp pains are rarely cardiac related.
heart attacks are vague and crushing. Like someone is using a rolling pin to squeeze out your soul.
t. had a hard attack at 19
he's supposedly banned from Greenwich
wonder if theyll let me into the ethnostate
can't believe that I actually used to think Nigel was a cut above Trump in the political integrity area lmao, what a spacker I am
a dumbass friend did the same to me and I've been slightly deafer in my right ear since.
Sorry, should have specifiied, Trump persuaded not to come to the UK because entire political establishment are to busy pandering to SJWs to welcome our single largest invester.
Sorry whites only
t. had a hard attack at 19
take it easy on the soda Brian
got banned from greenwich for trying to turn the clock backwards
Donner Trump is not welcome in my house
wow, she even screamed in my right ear too
we're brothers, you and I
so i'm fine then?
Irish are white dummy
I have pains like that sometimes haha will probably die alone of a heart attack by my 40 :P
why yes, i do want yanks to own more of Britain
Was absolutely fuming with the cunt that day lmao
Non irish whites only sorry sweety x
no. drugs made me have my heart attack.
being more vocal
It isn't Trumps fault that the BBC would rather do a headline on his latest Tweet rather than report the death toll in Yemen, or that CNN would rather give airtime to the way he drank water out of a bottle than how China have just executed 10 people in a sports stadium.
brits, pls explain
how do you go from this
didn't actually know anyone at all still spoke scottish gaelic, thought it were just Welsh and some Irish gaelic still knocking about
*gets that weird pain in my chest*
I don't think Hitler talked about the white race or whiteness at all in his entire life
Churchill and Roosevelt definitely did though
'Open, in the name of Mordor!' said a voice thin and menacing.
At a second blow the door yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The black figures passed swiftly in.
At that moment, among the trees nearby, a horn rang out. It rent the night like fire on a hill-top.
AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE!
Fatty Bolger had not been idle. As soon as he saw the dark shapes creep from the garden, he knew that he must run for it, or perish. And run he did, out of the back door, through the garden, and over the fields. When he reached the nearest house, more than a mile away, he collapsed on the doorstep. 'No, no, no!' he was crying. 'No, not me! I haven't got it!' It was some time before anyone could make out what he was babbling about. At last they got the idea that enemies were in Buckland, some strange invasion from the Old Forest. And then they lost no more time.
FEAR! FIRE! FOES!
The Brandybucks were blowing the Horn-call of Buckland, that had not been sounded for a hundred years, not since the white wolves came in the Fell Winter, when the Brandywine was frozen over.
vote labor. fuck trump. vive la revolution.
any videos of the stadium thing?
ok. but did you do too much at one point and it happened suddenly or did it develop over time?
to this in less than a decade
those 10 people were counter-revolutionaries and deserved it
maybe people are more interested in what he tweets than 10 insects being squished in Guangdong
Its over. The cheeto is finished.
i only get my news from this Sup Forums bulletin board and all i see is screenshots of trump's twitter
my lean costs more than your rent
sales lady brought her dog in to the office today lads. quite like having him wandering around.
Lads what's the name of that really big J Pop band with like 4 girls in it?
give me your address so i can smack you in the gob for this
see /pol/, we most certainly can 'meme'!
Give him a pat for me
my chest hurts only when I eat crepes, french are poisoning me
you'd think if pakis really hated racists they wouldn't want to come to racist countries and yet
S E E T H I N G
Wu tang clan i think
found another one of the gf's hairs wrapped around my bollocks again
scratch his cheek for us la
Why do americans actually speak english properly
Britfags cant even say the letter "r", we say r, you say ahh, why did we have to fix your own language
lol british people are stupid
ywn be an australian lesbian backpacking around the world circa mid-1980s
they're isolated enough to keep speaking it and to not matter to the rest of the country
Hitler didn't have strong opinions about race outside of Germans vs Slavs, although he was heavily influenced by Madison Grant.
can't wait to fuck off out of here
really learned to hate Britain over the past few months
Bound to happen when you're wearing her panties
what gives you the impression youve missed out on something lad
*turns you into a drug mule in southeast asia*
without the hebridies you wouldn't be able to get a stornoway grey painted car
WAAARGH hate weekly fire alarm tests, fucking hell they get me every time
Why does he always do that pose?
pay up, piggies
et tu, eire?
just had one at my office too lad. pissed me right off.
dude i totally drove mom's jagwire hit a skwrl and broke the side meer last night
*dances like your dad*
power stance lad. asserting his dominance over you.
*gives you the same haircut as you're dad (bolding)*
cregg you dumbass! jeez
bit like yourself
*opens a tin of worms*
that old BBC news website design
really takes me back
i know you are but what am i ;)
FUCKING LEAF RESPOND I WANT TO KNOW IF PROLONGED USE OF DRUGS KILLED YOU OR IF YOU OVERDOSED LITERALLY HAVE A LINE READY FUCK
a filthy taig
dude drugs lool :)
i mean were all gonna die bro. might as well have some fun doing it ;)
aha bloody hell he only went and bloody fell through the bar!
cussed out my mom and got grounded, dudes
whiter than you billy
dude what the heck?! maygan told you to cut that out brah you're gonna end up in juvie
im using it to help me focus on my dissertation, believe me im not having fun
total bummer broo ur gona have to sneak out of ur folks place to come to tyler and coreys house party kegger tonight radical!
dude drugs are good and like open your mind breh
still considering drinking wine alone to force myself to like it
I ain't even gonna battle you cause it ain't a battle mate
aussies have yank names
Just sucked a poo nigger lads
orty borty blorga borga
that's me speaking paddy
A person I know with the most perseverance and chutzpah is an Indian gentleman who approached me at an aviation conference with a plan to start an airline flying from the USA to India. Did he have a business plan, I naively asked. No, came the reply, that’s why he wanted to hire me. Fine, so what was his business idea? What kind of carrier did he want and why would he be successful? Again came the reply, this is why he wished to hire me, to come up with the unique idea for a successful airline. Well, I asked, did he have great connections in Washington D.C. and India? No, came the familiar reply—this would be my job. OK, at least he must have the finances. No, by now, the reader can guess the answer: this is why I was being hired. Except that he had no money to pay me for my work but would grant me shares and a large payment upon successfully launching the airline. So, I summarized the situation, you want me to develop the idea, develop the business plan, get the financing, get the regulatory approval, hire the appropriate personnel, lease the right aircraft and let him take the profit. Yes, basically that’s what he wanted. The interesting point is that I continue to see this person at many industry conferences. He continues to live in his dream. Not surprisingly, he has yet to establish his airline but in his mind he is half way there—he talks to experts!
give me some film recs lads
This is genuinely one of the best pieces of film I've had the pleasure of viewing in my life.
Failing that: Dog Day Afternoon.
triumph des willens
triumph of the willies
The Hot Chick
No tengo dinero
just had sex with worf from star trek lads ask me anything
Dog Day Afternoon
aha SREUTH MAYTE. put another shrimp on the barby
now this is a wacky post
dax you slut
god itunes is shite
need to set up musicbee
would you do it again
Has Worf ever sex with an actual Klingon? I don't think he has. Even his oneitis was only 1/2 Klingon.
would best any of you in combat
frankly mr shankly
need a sersh gf desu
could destroy you with only words
need a klingon gf
while you were running fetish simulations in the holodeck, I studied the bat'leth
need a dark black gf from the jungles of africa
the jews released my favourite game on a console i don't own with extra content
they will be gassed for this
HAHA a yank
literally couldn't do anything without a gun
A LABOUR COUNCIL, A __LABOUR__ COUNCIL!
want my bollocks smashed by a pretty girl while she laughs and giggles
Computer, Render Actress "Alison Brie" circa 2008
Slowly Increase happiness to 200 in the first 5 minutes
After the 5 minute mark make her clothing disappear one by one
Increase shame by 10% per removed article of clothing
Once fully naked play audio file "horny boys whooing and whistling"
Fixate character's anger towards my testicles
Disable safety protocols
just you watch me
*unsheathes logic textbook*
hate when games are only released on console. still haven't played the last of us because the bastards refuse to do a PC release
just got shadowbanned
what you gonna do
Ngl i thought he was a virgin until that kid showed up
still annoyed i'm too autistic to be a real bender
there's a fluffy grey cat outside and I want to let it in and make it my own
don't think mum would be happy to come home from work to see that I've adopted another cat though
bash your head in with it retard
only thing you regularly bash in is burgers you fat cunt
He's so pathetic he actually get cucked by a Ferengi. Why did everyone make fun of Barclay when Worf is so much worse?
you are all poo heads
i regularly bash in your mom's shitbox
Worf is security chief so he is atleast badass. Barclay is a nerd so naturally he is made fun of more
say anything about me, call me a faggot, a retard I don't care
but if you come after my friends...
I WILL KILL YOU!!!
GTA 3 ambulance missions not even once BAKA (shake my head)
you dont have any friends bruce
ate 2 granola bars for breakfast
at this rate they won't last long
would need to walk more than 5 feet without being exhausted for that
every time he says anything he is immediately shut down by Picard or someone else
wish I was brave enough to protest trump on twitter
Worf cleans out Riker's cum out of Troi with his mouth
i sexually identify as a pintman first class :)
she comes to me i don't even have to get out of bed
downloaded blender and realized i'm way over my head if i think i can just start modelling furries in this fucking thing
Ireland has no cult-
sry mate was off to the interracial lifting grounds
Cripplingly shy about kissing. Had a girl ask me SIX times to kiss her and I couldn't do it.
you don't have to download bender you've got the deluxe edition already
can everyone stop talking about worf? hes right here reading everything you guys say about him and hes really upset
you're mistaking my mum for one of your nurses and sponge baths for sex
he has a nice bum x
Imagine being so autistic you cant kiss your mum or gran
have a fantasy where I teach a mongolian tribal girl how to love her body and a man sexually in one of those huts
you fucking idiot
just kiss her lol not hard is it
they're called yurts
i wash myself with a rag on a stick after i'm through perforating her intestines
have a fantasy where i am a herding dog but also the prime minister of new zealand in 1967
have a fantasy where i have sex with worf from star trek then spend hours together cuddling and chit chatting
you couldn't find your penis to penetrate anything with
Computer, load holodeck program Broccoli's Best Fap Fantasies Vol. 7, scene 3.
Increase number of Andoria slave girls from 1 to 13
Set their Desire Levels to Yandere
Cover my body in a thin layer of Nano Lube
Load one Klingon pain stick and one 12 inch double dildo.
Disable safety protocols. authorization Picard Alpha One.
have a fantasy where i'm playing final fantasy
he fantasises about surviving a societal collapse with the oneities who grows to love him
really hate myself
fuck off poley
and a man??? what>
a swift kick to her temple would leave her dead
have a fantasy where im playing final fantasy with worf from star trek
I don't speak french you dumb smelly cheese man
computer, simulate results of a month long diet of Brussel sprouts, beans, and Mexican food on the digestive tract of female Betazoids
"This diet will cause a 120% increase in flatulence."
Make it 250%, and create a holographic simulation of Counselor Troi's buttocks using latest measurements from the bridge chair data, increased 500 times in size.
At regular intervals, expel flatulence at a rate proportional to the size of the replicated anus. When farting ceases, have simulation say "Daddy Barclay, my butt butt farts so baaaaad"
generate a lawn chair bolted to the floor and a set of goggles
save file as "trois_sweetest_perfume.holo"
lock the holodeck door and broadcast footage to all PADDs and view screens
override all commands to cease broadcast or open doors for the next 12 hours
Disable all safety protocols and engage on my mark
crazy how so many millions of people loathe Donald Trump for saying silly and offensive things and want him dead but when they see George Bush playing with a raincoat they laugh and find it cute and forget all about the hundreds of thousands of people butchered because of an illegal war
she doesn't have any trouble
Dunno never done it
*kisses you* you do now
no such thing
have a fantasy where I teach 7of9 how to love her human body and a man sexually in a holodeck re-creation of an Outback steakhouse bathroom
that'll be your nurse putting the piss line in
she looked a lot better in the starfleet uniform
what is an outback steakhouse>
Need an inferior jew gf
in bed cuddling my teddy :) hehe
steakhouse in the outback
its like a japanese take on australia
slang for anal sex
Just the establishment media doing their bit to support the war.
create a seal around her mouth with your own and suck the air out of her lungs until she passes out so you can bring her back to your den
isnt it more embarrassing to have pied her and not kissed at all rather than kissing and making a little bit of a fool out of yourself (which would be hard as you can just press your lips on hers)
how old are you?
rsl simulator for americans except much less accurate
wolfenstein 2 worth playing?
i want to go back to sleep but mark my words if you're still here when i wake up you will suffer my wrath
exhausting stuff all that finger movement
Dunno what "pied" means but yes, I know it's embarrassing to pussy out of kissing her but it's too late now, she lost interest.
pied as in to creampie