How do I prepare myself for a trip to India as a relatively handsome white man dating one of their women...

How do I prepare myself for a trip to India as a relatively handsome white man dating one of their women? What to do so I can avoid robbery, poisoning or kidnapping ? Will then locals try to kill me ?

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Do not even look at anyone trying to sell you shit. Watch out for cows they won't move for you. Don't hesitate when crossing the street but do watch out. Don't give anything to child beggars. Just keep some change on you to give to the poor. And also 99% of the time you can ignore the honking.

Simple. Stop confusing it with Brazil.

youtube.com/watch?v=mPne-q4ynts

1) dont expect to understand anything
2) just do it

Are the roads really as life or death as they say? I guess I shouldn't even bring my fancy cellphone outside.

It's a piece of shit. I've been there. I've been to many developing nations but india was the most disgusting hell hole by far. Stay home and if she dumps you as a result, just play this song, do a victory dance around her and then punch her in the mouth.

youtube.com/watch?v=kXBx4r6F-uc

get some stilts

>Going to India
Bring a fucking suitcase of bottled water you stupid fuck. Why the fuck would you go to A LITERAL SHITHOLE?

Also eat fresh fruit from the trees you stupid fuck dont touch the meat and don't touch the locally cooked food. Unless you're a dumb fuck (which you are) because you're going to be redecorating your fucking house when you come back.

Stupid fuck.

Dude why would you go all the way to India just to snag a girl?

A FUCKING LEAF

PROTIP DON'T USE THE LEAFS THERE TO WIPE YOUR ASS

if you are male, insert this rapex thing into your ass
>chuckling kek

Which part of India? What City?

I've been to India.

You cannot walk on the streets as a foreigner.
A taxi will take you from your hotel to your destination, and back again. If you want to "explore", ask your taxi driver to suggest a relevant place and he will take you there and wait until you are done.

Do not carry valuables with you, and do not have jewelry, a watch or anything of the sort on your person. This would be insanity.

Your hotel will most likely have extensive security, including lifting your taxi to check for explosives underneath before letting you in, however you should still not expect it to be clean under any circumstances.
You will almost certainly get a skin infection if you use their towels. And these are the expensive $250 a night hotels.

why would you go to a country with some of the ugliest women on the planet just to shag them?

>checks flag

nvm checks out

Body sized, condemns

>$250/night
>get robbed, infected, and pooed on

Go to a proper 3rd world country where it's more like $250/week to hang out at luxury resorts and have people fawn over you for tips that are like 1000 in the local currency and 11 cents or whatever the exchange rate is.

What's worse?

Being trapped in a room with a violent rapist?
Or being trapped in a room with a violent rapist that's utterly fucking pissed?

Bring hand sanitizer.

A fuckton of it.

Yea, put it in your ASS

>discover person is using RapeX
>pull it out
>turn it inside out
>put it on cock
>commence rape

Yeah it's not a good option for vacations I only go there on business trips.

Last time I went to Thailand for a week afterwards before returning home, it's a good place.

>prick rapists penis who reacts before any real damage is done
>gets mad and fucks you in the ass instead

holy fug

Look both ways when crossing the street, avoid markets, avoid beggars
Also which part are you going to
This guy nails it

Thank god I'm leaving next week and going back home to the states, if it wasn't for their shitty law that enables people to build on other's land after x amount of years I'd never willingly come here

OP here. My girlfriend immigrated to Canada I met her here. I will have to go to Delhi to meet her family eventually.

Oh, well that's cool then. I've not been to India, but most of the above advice is legit. If you're in with the family then they'll take care of you. Nothing beats having friends or family to escort you and take care of things you don't know about or don't understand.

fucking morons

>Lifting taxis for explosives

The fuck does this happen?

Some Indians, I assume, are good people.

Start eating shit and bathing in it, so that you develop a natural immunity to it. As a Canadian, you might also find that incredibly progressive and culturally enriching.

>What to do so I can avoid robbery, poisoning or kidnapping?

Don't go to fucking India.

Is kidnapping white tourists a big issue in India?
I haven't really heard much about it happening.