Feel like shit just want her back edition
All urls found in this thread:
the original High Speed 2
why YES m'goodsir, i TOO only enjoy the finest literature the western world has to offer, won't you join me over at r/books?
Once again no fap or fap and what to(If i have it) dubs make decision
Look around, around
The second drummer drowned
His telephone is found
Bristol, or London-Upon-Avon as i've come to call it
runt of a dog is sleeping on the end of my bed
should give him a pet
wouldnt want to open that snapchat too soon otherwise they might see me looking haha
The little wog is 5’8
finish the sentence
WYPIPO BE LIKE ______
who /city liverpool/ later lads?
tfw you'll never live a carefree existence
i wouldn't even mind toil if i were an australian or even a yank (in the right place)
i'd go to the office for 8 hours, and then go out to the beach or into the wilderness and have a bbq. or i'd go to my nice house afterwards.
things would be a bit more idyllic.
any of you lads use Airbnb?
Considering going to Hong Kong and Taipei for a few days each and I'm wondering if I should use Airbnb.
How does it work? Is it always cheaper than a hotel?
Is that even a question
Who isn’t going to be watching lol
Have firmly decides to kiss her tomorrow
5'8 is a childs height
You won't be taken seriously and you will have no respect or command
you the lad from yesterday?
the price of rent is what determines the price of an air bnb. doubt it would be cheaper to air bnb hong kong than a budget hotel or hostel
yeah it's very good, much cheaper than hotels
just be sure to get a place that you can get to and from easily
i drive this train in train simulator
i need info on black girls with brit accents in the fagK
what am i going to do with my sunday?
weather is crap so cant do anything outdoorsy and toil at first light so cant get smashed
Toil is dragging fellas what should I read to pass the time? Something relatively short that I could finish in a day please gentleman.
Ah yes, Sunday.
Or as I've taken to calling it, Day Before Toilsday
the virgin kiss
With the celebrity witch hunt going around you could just make false allegations and not have to prove it. We could destroy Hollywood.
you likely won't save much if you're just 1-2 people
what does vaginal discharge consist of?
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
been on a week long respite from the neo-mines
nary a molecule in my body wants to return
um i got raped by harry potter x
bit too expensive for me at the moment
class 390 fits the bill in the meantime
alright well it's me and a friend so I'll compare the prices of both and see what I can come up with
i don't know actually
What gave me away haha
wish I was a jew and did economics and law or something and didn't even have to look for a job, my dad's mate would just give me a job in his law firm
APPARENTLY its piss but none of the waste products of piss
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Ed Belzer, a professor at Dalhousie University found varying amounts of acid phosphotase in female ejaculate. It was previously believed that only males produced this chemical in theprostate gland.
Studies have also revealed consistent results showing reduced concentrations of urea and creatinine in female ejaculate, urines primary components.
Though it is not entirely clear what female ejaculate is made up of, researchers have concluded that it is not purely urine, and that it is not the odourless secretion of the Bartholin gland that helps lubricate the vaginal tract, but a combination of urine, acid phosphotase and other inconsistent chemicals.
These studies have also shown the existence of a prostate-like gland within females, previously thought to be non-existent.
Just joined a gentleman over at r/books to discuss literature
the clifton suspension bridge near Bristol
good luck to you then
make sure you have /brit/ open on your phone so you can update us as soon as you do it
Well good evening
warm out, Australian weather
that's the squirt
yes t. 5'8
You people are bizarre.
Isambard Kingdom Brunel is such a good name
he's not talking about squirt:
What is it?
Female ejaculation is the expulsion of fluid in a noticeable amount from the urethra of women during orgasm. It is estimated that between ten percent and forty percent of women are able to ejaculate.
What does it look like?
Female ejaculate can differ in appearance, texture and quantity. It can range from being a clear to a milky liquid, or from feeling watery to feeling sticky. Amounts can range from a teaspoon, to (in some extreme cases) a cup full.
says the guy with a trip
bristol city centre
if I picked a lower degree like geology I could've gone to a top uni because of the lower requirements.. hmm
No they're talking about clunge.
more like Pentol Penty Pentre
Female ejaculation is the expulsion of fluid in a noticeable amount from the urethra of women during orgasm
that's the squirt
Islamabad Kingdom brunei
I take that back I'm not sure what the hell hes talking about but the article says ejaculate so I assume he's referring to them cumming
Weather girls are always in demand as well
1. do a sequences of stretches daily
2. brush, tongue scrape and floss
3. shower, comb hair and afterwards apply coconut oil to the feet, hands, elbows, knees, nasal passages and lips.
4. prepare lunch and breakfast together
5. eat a breakfast of a fruit, some dairy and a wholegrain like oats that will sustain you for most of the aday
6. walk/cycle to toil
7. have a simple lunch just meant to hit up vitamins/fats/minerals you might be missing in the rest of your meals: eg i eat seeds because i don't get much vitamin E and Omega 6, or alternatively on some days i eat fish because i don't get much else vitamin D etc.
8. at toil listen to audiobooks, clinical psychologist lectures/podcasts, university lectures, other easy to follow laymen talks/podcasts on complex topics eg Royal Scientific Society talks or in our time.
9. make sure to eat lunch with colleagues at toil to fulfil need to speak to another human being
10. take a walk around the office every so often, maybe to make green tea.
11. after toil make sure to eat something with a portion of protein (white meats and non-mercurial fish are preferable), a good carb like rice and enough vegetables to get your vitamin percentages (weigh food) (listen to podcasts/do language learning/do music training during this time)
12. after you've finished eating, sit down in your room and close your eyes and just concentrate on your breathing and bring your wandering mind back to breathing - maybe use beads or something as a way of not having to worry about how long you're doing it for.
13. then a set of maths questions or a chapter of an academic textbook
14. then a bit of language learning or a chapter of a different book (could still be academic)
15. once the normoids have started fucking off from the gym go there;
15a. first run as far you can with a decent speed,
15b. then do a bunch of mobility to stretches
15c. then do a bunch of compound lifts with a few accessory lifts
to be continued.
I'm not racist but when I first heard the Prince Harry/Megan Markle news I did wonder why someone would want to adulterate their genes like that. Then I thought it's their business, they're in love, and if she wants to marry a ginger, so be it.
well search and find out what their "nut" is made out of then
the ol dvd collection is coming along depressingly
watch should I watch lads
any jobs going
I'll attACK any blACK with a BAttle AXE
why coconut oil on hands/feet/elbows?
/unfuckmyshitup2018/ regimen continued
15d. shower, apply coconut oil to the mentioned places, brush, scrape, floss
16. round off the day with a bunch of written summaries: log your gym progress, log what you ate in cron, log your good actions-taken in the day and log some bad actions with suggested means of improvement. and finally log one negative thought that got you feeling bad and write a few retorts to it.
17. get 7.5-8 hours of sleep (use earplugs, use greynoise)
additional: to defeat toil you need to switch the narrative over. if toil in itself is tolerable than view it as a succession of professional and social opportunities. a way of bolstering your CV and a way of meeting interesting and useful people.
if toil is intolerable spend time outside of toil looking for an alternative means of toil.
Bloody hell that's a lot of film
Into The Wild
I Daniel Blake
its funny how lefties like the royal family when they're miscegenating
Cmere and suck this big ol dick instead
looking forward to this evening so i can toilpost
in our time
Might invest in an unfuck-my-shit regime
lads do any of you have that video about that qt muslim lady talking about how a wife should be obsessed to her husband? cant find it haha
hands (particularly beneath finger nails), feet and elbows/knees tend to get dry, so its good to moisturise.
i'm a bit afraid of most skin creams since they contain petroleum or alcohol which seems a bit weird.
I pay for my entertainment media
i think this is what you're thinking of
the ex gf once did a massive one of these, had the appearance and consistency of a handful of nivea cream
I'm starting to think women cant even get their nut off no one has an answer as to what the shit is and its nowhere to be found online. wtf
honestly thought I'd watched thousands of films in my life but after using Imdb for a number of year it turns out I've only watched about 600
I've watched 5 or 6 myself. Bit of a film buff :)
You realise users here (mainly non-UK flags) have been spamming the word "haitian" here for years, waste an incredible amount of time here and shamelessly stalk other posters here? These things are very bizarre.
Sup Forums discussing female anatomy
man shut the fuck up or you'll end up on /r/Sup Forums.
Never seen that Dan Blake bollocks. It was described to me about a bloke who loses his job and moans a lot and then meets a girl who moans a lot. Not sure what the point is really. It seems to be really popular with weird corbynites on twitter, but they're all cunts.
thanks ill read into this. its not ejaculate but may very well be what i was referring to
hello tory cunt
the benefit system is pretty shit to be honest.
there is a lot of meaningless and cynical bureaucracy which is intended to just throw people onto the streets rather than actually find them suitable employment.
business idea: not going to work tomorrow
Haitianposting has driven him mad
my gf is so sexy but I'm do depressed to fuck her
applied for a job at a call centre
I wouldn't be able to tell you how many movies I've watched, may as well ask how many books I've read
Would estimate 900 if I had to
reckon i've got the biggest willy in this thread
Alri socialist cunt?
This time next year you'll be team leader Deano!
Look up the word haitian in spanish in the archives, it's a freakshow... you are the ones who have gone mad... i actually find it amusing
you've got me beat
no you don't
thought shithole was a british word
My condolences (unironically)
go on then give us a figure of sorts
a rough number in inches OR centimetres
hate train autists
this article says nothing about discharge during female ejaculation. please respon
might as well develop a drinking habit now senpai
HAITIANUS is here
UK still hasn't electrified
the german ICEs are based
Why not improve your skills while at work so you can find a new job?
I've had loads of different jobs, in comms, project management, legal compliance, IT. The trick is to take up all the training your employer gives you and never stop learning.
we still use steam trains for some services
love train autists
any collective of individualists man in
You're bizarre. Amusing, but... yeah
no!! you dont get to be a normoid and an abnormie at the same time. its not fair
NEED a £5mil house
girl matches with me
she says "hi" as her opener
honestly fuck women
better make sure im not in an absolute state for the delivery deivery haha
suppose it's because the trains are a bit shit in Ireland
THEEEEERE SHEEEE GOOOOOES
where in the world does that cost £5m?
aaaaaajaj el ANO
ah yes the naive concept that anyone can be trained to do anything
That looks like a £1m house at best
£5m would get you 10x more in north america
Need a pizza, go make me one
I don't recall this )))))))
any strongly worded letter man in
you're right, better make excuses for myself instead
oxfordshire of course. comes with a bit of land too.
Should I pay much attention to uni rankings?
you're not allowed to see it
its something that amuses children not grown men you saddo
government wiped your mind
Wow, you sound so sophisticated
I think i found it. supposedly its the stuff that helps sperm to swim
don't go to anything that isn't in the top 20 internationally
Their own fault if they can't. I'm not here to carry you. How does an untrainable person deserve a new job any more than an ugly person deserve a gf?
Nobody in this thread has a 24cm cock
if you say so mate
the haitiANO is here...
not the overal thing though
piss off normie brainiac
yeah but some of us have a 27cm cock
They always do this shit
its just the impression i got during my 3 month long stint on benefits.
you're talking as though people on benefits are turning down job offers.
when i was on benefits (for 2.5months after my masters degree) i didn't get any job offers neither from grad jobs (which take a while anyway) nor from retail/callrunt jobs. that didn't stop the JobCentre with threatening me with mandatory workfair (work for your benefits), telling me to lie on my CV, making me come in daily for 5 minutes at random times every week day just to sign a register and then go back home (you'd lose your benefit if you didn't come and if you came late twice in 14 weeks you'd lose your benefits)
they also were upset that i was putting more effort into applying for grad jobs (cover letters, online assessments, editting CV, researching companies, refreshing my education by revising).
Eventually i did get a job, but you're making the false assumption that i was voluntarily unemployed for those 2.5 months.
Do you have proof that there is a "haitian" here
sick of this chink get him to fuck
Wtf should she say then?
Presidump Toilet Turd
depends what you're studying i suppose. most employers dont give a shit as long as you've got your 2:1, have some work experience and aren't a wanker.
i regularly interview people and i barely even register the uni they went too. just go straight to the experience and then who they are as a person.
oh I'm not talking about myself
I'm talking about the retards who get into middle management positions without any actual ability, just because they've done some dumb courses
it's why this country's so inefficient and broken, you've got retards all over the place because HR and co. seemingly think that you can "train" a mong to do their job properly
dumb people should stick to grunt jobs
It was largely covered up by the government.
nah don't think so
most women don't have prostates
I'm from leftypol and I say kill em all!!!!!!
RONNIE GLOFLRP BTFO
How will Trumpweenies EVER recover from this devestating blow
I predict he'll resign from pure embarrassment within hours and then we can lock him up forever
Can someone actually prove that there is a "haitian" on /brit/ or are these "people" just nutjobs?
Applied for a job in the job centre to hire people for the job centre
can't open this
can I do a year abroad uni if my parents aren't billionaires
Applied for a gf at the gf center. Have not heard back yet.
Yes, EU gave me £4000 to do my year abroad.
fun as fuck
what is the female of equivalent of sperm? the stuff that liquefies semen in the seminal coagulum and allows sperm to swim freely:
read the wiki lad
i have to make the effort to try and be interesting so they should too
how's it work then? all out of the loan?
had a lovely wank to tay tays feet just there
yeah but that comes from men not from women
that noise that darth vader makes is him breathing? if so how does he speak while breathing
parents are FAR from billionaires and Are Liz' Government gave me extra bennies for going abroad, even though it's cheaper to live here than the UK
try to get a scholarship because it will make life easier
erasmus means that uni only costs the same as it does at home wherever you go in the EU
Skene's gland, also known as the paraurethral gland, found in females, is homologous to the prostate gland in males. However, anatomically, the uterus is in the same position as the prostate gland.
the job centre would be better if they actually got people employed
instead they just waste your time with dumb and unhelpful bullshit
ultimately it all just ends up being a distraction from actually getting a job
his suit breaths for him
Fair enough, lad.
Before me and my gf got together I used to wank over her pictures. Now we’re getting married all I can think about is fucking the hot girl in work and wank over hot models on instagram
he just makes that noise to annoy people at work and nobody can say anything to him because he's disabled and could tell HR, what a cunt
where you work?
be unemployed after masters degree in economics at a top ranking uni
go job centre
'oh you have a masters degree in economics, well that requires computers right? why don't you do this work-for-your-benefit work as an administrator at a tax office'
Marks & Spencer
It's exactly that. i had an interview for a research job in a university 2 hours away from where i live.
i told them that this coincided with my sign-in day and that i'd prefer if i had the whole day clear to study for it, rather than spending 40 minutes coming to and from the job centre and if i could sign in the next day.
they said no.
friend of mine with an archeology degree was told to do a landscaping job placement
super sized sodas
I was unemployed for several months once (have a degree, etc) and I had savings enough to live but I signed on anyway because I assumed the dole is supposed to be a safety net for people exactly like me. Nope. It's a shithole den full of GENUINE retarded specimens and all the staff treat you like shit. Once my job "adviser" or whatever they're called told me I should apply for a call centre job (I have a degree and experience and was going for jobs in my fucking field) I just left and never came back lol
lived off my savings for a few more weeks and then eventually got a new, proper job. What a grim place the "job" "centre" is.
did you get the job?
Mostly tills. Either that or making sure the displays are tidy/merchandise are put out
Cheers lad. Shall be toiling for four hours today.
Haitian revolution happened because of the French revolution, so it was basically just monkeys imitating men
Those kneegrows weren't cool at all, the French were the ones who were cool, kneegrows were just copycats
wish i played team sports and was good at them
delivery guy just drove straight past me the lost cunt hahaha
There were white people literally defending the chimpouts at H&M here.
literally how is donald trump the actual president of the united states
if you'd time travelled to 10 years ago and told me that my head would have fucking exploded
some runt who worked for some job-centre affiliated thing told me to just lie on my cv about my education and told me to instead just say i was looking after a disabled family member for 4 years.
i made a complaint about him and saying that basically he, as a government contractor, was advising me to take actions that would make me liable to legal consequences from fraud.
the quango said 'they talked to him' but the cunt didn't lose his job from what i can tell.
well no wonder.
getting a job has to come off your own back
i wish i had done that so you'd be dead right now
not just going on the sick and having the free time to apply for the jobs you want instead of being at the beck and call of the job centre
you're literally doing it wrong if you expect the job centre to find you a job.
yeah smacked the interview.
didn't like the actual job that much though because it was unexpectedly incredibly stressful so i changed jobs after a year.
wish i played team sports and got to see lads in the showers
Would rather starve than join the crowd of real life mongs standing outside the job centre at 8.58am on a Thursday morning waiting for it to open
Literally lived off my student loans I saved up after graduating uni 2bh because fuck the jobby centre
I used to play a team sport called footy
working part time at the because i cant claim benes. need more hours desi
period just started
you're also doing it wrong if you expect the job centre to not hinder your search for a job.
they'd rather see you doing door to door sales, than preparing for ACs or having to present information on your CV that is more complex than spelling your name right or listing that you like football, cooking and having fun with your mates.
in fact the runts who work there despise people with education.
full stop just started
wish I could laugh about the ridiculousness of brexit like I laugh about it for trump
period of depression?
any Sterling man in
exactly, that's why the retardation of the job centre is entirely unnecessary in their current state
they should just be handing out money to people regardless, those who actually want jobs will go and get them
and for those who choose not to work, they should be given just enough money to make do, and if they want more money they can get a job
Just sniffed a baby head and it is fucking awesome
in denmark you have specialised job centres for your level of education or field
the people there know about your area and industry and can normally help you find work and contacts
also the monthly dole payout is about £1800
good philosophy you must be a rad cen man
saving pics of ugly niggers
t. united cuckstomer
Come sniff my baby head I haven’t washed it in weeks and it’s got dried up cum flaking off it come have a sniff you spacky mongrel mutt
Ur just mad u dont know anyone who sells baby heads
here it is like £232 and the only advice they give to educated people is that they probably won't get a job pertaining to their education (which is a pretty disheartening thing to say to someone fresh out of a degree).
i'm a wanker
fuck off daneanon
just called social services on you
Got a crush on a girl and apparently she has one on me too. Doesn't matter anyway because I will inevitably ruin this somehow.
people who don't want to work should starve like dogs on the street
I’m clearly talking about my COCK
It smells fucking rancid my mum keeps moaning about the smell filling up the house.
ah right yes more beggars filling the streets
ask her to come bowling with you.
she'll probably pretend she's not very good at bowling which will be a cue for you to show how its done by coaching her (and physically touching her).
also make eye contact alot and don't talk too much about yourself just ask her questions and let her babble.
See the true dregs of society in the job centre. Genuine, actual, proper, grown-up retarded mongs without hope or direction. People who can barely read. People who cannot operate a computer. People who have spent several decades of their lives apparently just staring into space. Baffling how you can sink that low and still exist in an apparently first-world country.
Doesn't matter anyway because I will inevitably ruin this somehow.
at the very least wait for her to make the move
getting rid of polytechnics was the worst thing this country ever did for young people
Now we have a bunch of runts running around with degrees in sports science unable to get jobs and a shortage of labourers, plumbers and electricians etc
Britain is rightful danish clay
Lol this is exactly what happened to me.
they never got rid of polytechnics though just changed the name
tell you what englands gone to the dogs
haha i remember this one guy there was saying he wanted the job centre to pay for his driving license/lessons, because the only experience he has is stealing cars so at least he'd be well suited at driving jobs
If you hate me you are a niggerlover
I was signed on for a year because I couldn't be arsed working. I have a masters so they mostly left me alone, assuming that I actually wanted a job. Though on one occasion my adviser told me to apply for an apprenticeship, I told him you can't do an apprenticeship if you have a degree and he didn't believe me and had to ring someone to confirm that. The plebs working there are almost as dumb as the retards walking in.
isn't the problem that back in the day a poly degree was different to a uni degree and there's no distinction now?
hmm sounds so sensible and obvious, wonder why it isn't like that here, almost as if this place is run by mongs or something SICK OF IT
it still is different though
a degree from UWE is not equivalent to a degree from London-Upon-Avon Uni
Ordinary people have to use the job centre. Educated people use it. If you live in a densely populated area as well as outsourcing, you have hundreds of people applying for one job.
Got about £3k out of the job centre without applying for a single job
what they told you this or you didn't get a job.
i got 3 job offers pertaining precisely to my education. i also know the reason they try to dishearten you is because they know its quicker to get a non-education job like a call centre job than having to go through online assessments, ACs and write long complicated cover letters - so from their point of view they just want you to get off bennies take up a job in a supermarket and you can sort out your career on your own time.
which is as i said pretty cynical of them.
well hopefully lots of them will die
were you cripplingly depressed or something
How much trouble did you have getting back into your masters field (assuming you did) after a YEAR of nothing?
I'm a noob. Which of these three has better performance?
I seem like a white supremacist/pro-white and this makes shitskins and niggerlovers on Sup Forums hate me
Not looking forward to going back to toil in the morning
the second one
what do you want it for?
theyre all absolute pieces of trash but the middle one has the best specs of the lot
the workers there are literally just people who were at some point signing on.
they hated me for having a masters though, and even though i was demonstrably applying for 4-5 jobs a day + only applying for runt jobs on a friday as agreed, and showing them evidence of interviews, AC invitations and so on, they still were desperate to try to make my life a nightmare at every turn and constantly trying to push me into work-for-benefit jobs including door-to-door charity shit, some weird office jobs that weren't really jobs (photocopy boy), one at poundland.
well hopefully lots of them will die
so from their point of view they just want you to get off bennies take up a job in a supermarket and you can sort out your career on your own time.
Why shouldn't they do just this?
They're meant to be a safety net right, they're not going to hand everything on a plate to you
ooh built-in wifi, snazzy
what if you told them to fuck off? i mean you fulfilled all requirements on paper didn't you?
Nothing wrong with working at Poundland. Honest, respectable work
Got job centre tomorrow and an interview after it. My arsehole is gonna be sore
What's your head circumference
I respect people who work in those cheapo shops because they have to deal with the dregs of society every day and loads of shoplifters
you'd get your money docked or even cancelled for not fulfilling "your end of the deal" which is to take any and all job offers humanly available to you at the fastest speed possible, no matter how shit or irrelevent or bizarre the job
yeah but you only get £1 an hour if I'm interpreting the name correctly
Just basic computing with good graphics that I can play some football manager on
what do they mean by that?
people should be doing jobs appropriate to their qualifications and desires
tickled or darjeeling
also lad stop wasting ur money on these
because the means of achieving this are corrupted.
making you come in daily for meaningless tasks
making you come to sessions on things like basic grammar or how to dress for an interview
trying to shove you off into 'workfare' (unpaid work)
disheartenign you and telling you tell lies on your cv
i agreed that i should also apply for regular jobs and told them the entire time i was open to taking regular jobs, however i also told them that, it is clear not only to myself but also to regular job employees that someone who has just come out of a masters degree is probably going to be flakier than somoen who has been working since they were 16 and that i should not be penalised for the fact that a lot of regular jobs aren't interested in me over the other people in the job centre and that to end my unemployment it would still be fruitful to put a lot of effort into finding a job in my own field.
God damn people on /brit/ are edgy as fuck
heh can't find work? Well then you can just DIE, heh nuttin personnel kiddo
Right but why should be up to the social safety net to sort that out?
Yeah they'll get you on your feet and making some money asap, but surely you can take the incentive to get into a job suited to your qualifications, like literally every other adult in the country?
Becuase they have to work at the lowest common denominator, like said
Literal runts who can barely dress themselves
did a masters
Can't get a job
That's all on you buddy
just means you dont need a wifi dongle