Watching Wonder Woman

>watching Wonder Woman
>man in front of me has been talking nonstop to his girlfriend for an entire hour
>the rage inside of me starts boiling over
>tap his seat
>"Sir can you please stop talking, it's very distracting"
>he calls me a "little spaz faggot" and tells me to mind my own business and goes back to talking
>there are tears in my eyes
>begin loudly eating my popcorn to try and annoy him back
>person next to me tells me to eat quieter
>tell him "yes sir" for some reason
>get up and go piss and wipe my eyes
>stand in the theater doorway for the rest of the movie and watch it from there
>mfw

Deleting that thread was your biggest mistake so far

>watching movie
>in the cinema
This is your mistake. Just wait for blu-ray release. And download it.

Always thought it was a ballsy move to tell the person behind you to screw off. Literally nothing you can do to prevent an attack

In front? Sure...no problem

Just kick him in the back of his head and tell him to stfu or else you'll bust his nuts too.

>be me
>be American
>go to see Wonder Woman in London for a real immersive experience
>at the concession stand
>ask for a bag of popcorn
>"You 'avin a go? This isn't the colonies, we don't serve popped corn 'ere, mate"
>apologize for my ignorance
>ask him to just give me whatever food is popular
>he gives me one spotted dick, a toad in the hole, and a knickerbocker glory to wash it down
>whatever
>time to look for my auditorium
>ticket says it's on the second floor
>walk up an entire flight of stairs
>can't find the auditorium where Wonder Woman is playing
>ask someone to check my ticket
>"You daft, mate? It says 'ere your room's on the second floor, this is the first floor"
>what the fuck
>ask him where the elevator is
>he calls me a wanker and tells me to piss off
>spend the next half hour climbing another set of stairs
>get to the auditorium
>the guards are standing in front
>"A'RIGHT, TROUSERS DOWN, PANTS TOO. GET YOUR PECKERS OUT SO WE CAN BEGIN THE INSPECTION"
>get promoted to a VIP seat for having a 6 inch penis
>"Stonking great willy on that one."
>finally sit down
>my seat comes with a personal Stacy
>movie finally about to begin
>everybody is really excited
>"This is going to be the dog's bollocks, I just know it!"
>"I 'ear they're going for the Fully Monty on this one"
>movie starts
>beautiful shots of Themyscira
>start clapping to show my appreciation
>people staring at me awkwardly
>Steve takes WW to London
>she says it looks hideous
>crowd goes insane
>"Oh, rubbish!"
>"She's off her trolley!"
>"Gormless slag!"
>they calm down after a while
>WW and Steve start kissing in the bedroom and the scene cuts
>Stacy turns to me, smiling with her popcorn-colored teeth
>"Do you think they had a bit of the ol' 'How's your father'?
>tell her to shut the fuck up
>she starts jerking me off
>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised

It wasn't bad. I felt like David Thewlis as Ares was a total miscast though.

Literally copied 'mistake' immediately

thats when you throw the hot butter sauce from your bucket of crab legs and melt chad and stacey's stupid faces off

Fuck the guy who is going to post this on /r/Sup Forums and get 10k upvotes.

Did you tell Robert? He could have sentenced that man to the popcorn mines

/thread

>that last fucking line
brilliant

pls include my in screenshot

>OP somehow bypasses the no singles policy
>Robert enforces talkative couple to sit in front of him as punishment

During my teens I used to avoid fights not because I was scared of getting hurt but just because I didn't want to get my braces knocked out and have to get them put back in again.

Someone screencap this but not me because I can't be bothered.

absolutely.

Unless they are black you should never back down from a loudmouth in the theater.

stop

noice

>tell her to shut the fuck up

sometimes i unironically love you anons

kek'd

>Watching Wonder Woman a couple of weeks after release
>Chubbyish woman in her thirties infront of me texting at the start
>Stays on her phone for another 30 minutes
>Finally had enough and ask her to put it away
>She stands up and swears at me
>Appears to be 6'2
>Begins walking up to the steps and then joins my aisle
>"Your gonna eat my fucking asshole and for every minute your tongues not touching it I'm gonna deepthroat you with my feet."
>Look around
>Everyone is just sitting watching the film
>She pulls down her trousers revealing a pale ass with a very brown hole in the middle
>Her hand grabs my neck and she forces my mouth to her asshole
>Try and pull away but she punches me in the stomach
>As I extend my tongue I can visible feel a layer of dried shit
>Continue for two minutes
>Finally she pulls away and throws me to the ground
>Begins unbuckling her heels
>With one foot she pins me down and the other is forced into my mouth, toes first
>Pushes all the way back to my throat making me gag
>After 30 seconds pass she turns around and squats over my face
>"Here's something to remember me faggot."
>Her ass hole begins to open as a greenish brown turd pokes its head out

Continue?

A single (You) is worth a million upvotes, f@m.

Fairly accurate

>>he calls me a "little spaz faggot"
You have a higher ground. Use it to stomp his fucking head.

I mean

...

Nice work

>On a business trip in America in Detroit, Michigan
>Decide to stop in one of the cinemas to view Wonder Woman after work
>Greeted by a woman of African origins at the ticket counter, asks me without looking up from her phone "Whatchu hea foe huh?" 0
>Ask her for a ticket to the next viewing of Wonder Woman
>"Ay why you talkin like some Harry Potter white boi bitch? Yo whateva dat be $14.50"
>Walk into cinema, no white people in sight
>Go to concession stand and ask for a litre of Americanized fizzly pop and a serving of popped corn kernels
>Teenage attendant asks why I am being racist and begins assaulting me over the counter
>White manager comes out of his office, looking extremely stressed and frightened, pulls attendant off of me and apologizes, offering me a free fizzly pop.
>I enter the cinema and am greeted with the scent of marihuana cigarettes and malt liquor
>12 year olds appear to be having sex in the aisle, I step over them and proceed to tge seats
>Only seat open is in the front row is covered in used syringes next to a deceased negroid
>During opening credits a fight breaks out in the rear, they begin shooting at eachother
>Get hit by a stray bullet in the shoulder, leave theater and walk two miles to the nearest emergency department
>wait four hours to be seen, get charged $50,000 and told to follow up in a week
>Witness race riot in the streets after a police officer shoots a black teenager that was robbing a liquor store and holding a hostage at gunpoint.
>Contract AIDS from movie theater popped corn kernels
>never finish Wonder Woman.

>"Ay why you talkin like some Harry Potter white boi bitch?"

>ywa be an American
Thanks god for the sickle cell

accurate

no

Meh. Not nearly as good as

>start clapping to show my appreciation
>people staring at me awkwardly
>she starts jerking me off
>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised

Not as funny as the other one.

Sides gone

>Watching movie
>Loudmouth drunk making stupid comments at the screen nonstop
>After 15 minutes of this, turn around and say "Do you mind, sir. You're not as funny as you think."
>Responds, "I'll see YOU outside!"
>Movie is over
>Stand up
>Drunk is 5' 4" and much shorter than his date.

>watching wonder woman
This is where it all went wrong.

Also go complain to an employee, dipshit. Or start throwing popcorn at his head lol.

>>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised

...