Can we get a terrible, awkward and annoying theater experience thread? Pic related...

Can we get a terrible, awkward and annoying theater experience thread? Pic related, some user was kind enough to screen cap this for me.

Post your awful experiences at the cinema ITT

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=OFr74zI1LBM
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Wellp, I know I'd had to share this story someday...

>Be me
>2nd year of High School
>I had been on a few relationships, but not even I knew how
>Really not good at flirting
>Never been to dates with girls I was just meeting
>Join drama club with classmate who is my best friend
>Have great times with the people there
>Most of them are students from 2nd year as well
>Me and classmate start hitting it off with two girls
>Agree on a double date to the cinema
>Go on to watch Furious Five (yeah, this was a long time ago)
>My friends sits next to his date, and I next to mine
>20 minutes into the movie I notice my friend is holding hands with date
>He is ready to get 1st base
>Maybe I should try too
>Hold hands with date
>She holds my hand like if she was expecting me to do it
>ohshitthisisit.bmp
>Not really sure what to do next
>Definitely not ready to kiss her
>Suddenly all goes to blank in my mind
>Lick her hand
-WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO
>She freaks out
>I try to explain her that it wasn't a big of a deal and apologize
>She leaves the room
>I freak out
>Go out looking for her
>She's in the bathroom, probably washing
>Comes back to the room, so do I
>She sits a few rows behind us
>She doesn't talk about this with anyone
>Neither do I until today

Well, at least her hand was pretty tasty.

holy kek

Bump

>Live in Norway
>Going to the Cinema is treated as an "event" and most people will dress and act somewhat nice
>Everyone is quiet during the film
>No one talks to each other
>Teenagers are quiet
>Kids are quiet
>The most noise you'll hear is if a parent occasionally have to explain something to their kid, and even that isn't loud

i honestly don't know what the fuck is wrong with american cinema culture, i mean how the hell don't you people know how to act during a film. What i did notice while i was there though is that going to the cinema is super casual , like you just strool into a shooping mall cinema and people will be there with their babies, kids are playing angry birds on their phone, someone is having a full conversation behind you, no respect for the art of film.

>go see movie
>some guy keeps wheezing all the time
>he also laughs at completely random shit in the movie
>people eventually start whispering about the guy
>somebody says just a little bit too loud "man who is that retard?"
>movie ends
>it actually was a retard

why would you take a retard to the cinema? they don't even understand what's going on

>be me
>double date with gf, her friend and her friends bf
>they sit a row ahead of us
>her friend looks back sees me getting my dick
sucked
>tells bf
>he proceeds to look back every so often and watch
>mfw

>why would you take a retard to the cinema?

As if that's not the exact demographic of most modern movies.

Dude

American theaters aren't too bad, the only thing that honestly annoys me is how they do the airhorn effect every quarter of the movie to let you know how much time has passed.

youtube.com/watch?v=OFr74zI1LBM

same reason we don't throw them down the well once it's apparent they're retarded. i don't really know that reason.

alpha as fuck man, just needed more confidence after the lick

you casual, thats how you know how to properly space out your snack breaks to not get an upset tummy from too many hot dogs

>guy next to me eating popcorn
>finishes his popcorn
>proceeds to suck his teeth the remainder of the film

>be me

oh really? Who else would you be?

I once pissed in the theater haha

A faggot named (you)

very clever user

upvote

It's a reddit callsign. All redditors do the ">be me" shit.

>be me
>>>/reddit/

>go to dark knight opening in grade 12 or something
>smoke a fat blunt
>go inside. literally 5 lines of people stationed around theatre to get in.
> we randomly notice one line is being let in
>start walking with the line
>nerdy movie fanatics in other lines notice what we did and start yelling and heckling us
>iam really embarssed and just want to watch batman high AF
>no employees notice or care
>cutting in line feels good man

...

One time I kicked over my empty 40 oz bottle and it rolled loudly for like ten rows.

I used to sit all the way back in the theater and yell "noodles" every 5 minutes in a high pitched voice

...

That bean boy kid grew up I guess

sick

Horseshit clearly, but that is a nice lady.

Bump

thread full of normalfags

>"Don't. Mock. My. Food."
Kek every time

this is supposed to be about bad experiences m8 not peak ones

This is one of my dearest memories.

>Summer vacation
>Hanging out with cousin
>We're like 12 years old or some shit
>We rarely meet but when we do we always get into stupid shit
>We decide to go watch a movie
>It's the middle of the day
>There are maybe 10 people in the theater scattered around
>Movie is pretty funny
>For a couple autistic kids at least
>Suddenly I have to pee
>I don't want to leave the movie and miss something
>My cousin chugs his soda and gives me the bottle
>I sneakily make my way to the back of the theater
>Squeeze my tiny little chode into the opening of the bottle
>Start pissing
>smells like absolute asparagus
>Why was I born with such a refined palate?
>The bottle starts to fill
>This creates some sort of reverse vaccum
>My tiny prepubescent little shrimp dick is exploding out of the bottle and I'm getting piss everywhere
>Smelly asparagus piss
>This is insane
>You can hear my cock-pops echo throughout the mostly empty theater
>The bottle is also overflowing at this point
>How can this tiny penor hold this much piss
>I freak out and drop the bottle
>It starts rolling down the rows
>Finally it stops
>Huge piss puddle starts appearing on the floor in front of the first row
>2 teenage grills are there
>She lifts up her bag and screams
>They try to move away
>She slips in the piss like a deer on the ice
>My cousin is 6 rows in front of me
>He's giving me the "wtf are you doing nigger" look
>As my eyes shift from him to everyone else in the theater I can tell that every one of them is looking right at me
>I bolt like my name was Usain
>My cousin chasing after me
>Laughing like a faggot
>Laughing hard gives him nosebleeds
>To the unknowing eye I'm a horrified child who has pissed himself in fear because he's being chased by a crazed, laughing maniac with blood erupting from his face like a fountain
>We escape into the woods leaving a trail of piss, blood and confusion.

I love hanging out with my cousin.

LOL so randum xDDD

t. Triggered rice boy

>go to see pic related with a few friends opening night
>theater is packed
>like, serious jammed, maybe five seats left open by the time the movie's starting
>guy behind me is talking to his girlfriend constantly through the opening minutes
>tired and irritable because i've been up for about 30 hours
>turn around and loudly tell him to shut the fuck up
>he gets pissy and says "how about you shut up fag" but stops talking after that
>immediately fall asleep for the rest of the movie, apparently snoring loudly
>later, guy who was talking follows me out of the theater in his car
>it's after 2am
>literally tries to run me off the road

i still wish i'd gotten his plate number

>get some needle nose pliars
>break the chains on all the poop scissors in the cinema bathroom and steal them
>come back a couple hours later after the film
>see shit leaking into the hallway because the toilets can't handle people's monster turds

Updated movies from an older copypasta, still sad though even though it's likely false.

>go see horrible bosses 2 with friends
>all shitfaced
>drinking bottle openly in first row
>not paying attention
>yelling and making jokes the whole time
>leave 45 minutes in
>mfw everyone angrily watches us leave

>go see dead pool with friends on opening night
>knew the theater would be full so made sure to reserve the best seats a week in advance
>eat at fast food joint before hand like usual
>literally 5 fedora wearing nerds at one booth talking loud as fuck about how hype this is gonna be
>whatever thats to be expected
>go to movie theater and find our seats
>just below us is a group of 5 guys all skinny fat reddit types
>not 1 minute into the movie the alpha redditor fuck starts shouting out the intro jokes to his friends explaining them for no reason
>starts singing along to shoop waving his hand around like a retard thinking he's hot shit
>repeats everything colossus says in his funny russian accent
>laughs extra hard at everything to make sure people around him understands that he understands the jokes
>is still explaining everything to his friends for no reason
>is loudly commenting on the movies plot praising it
>everyone around him is visible hating his behavior
i can understand being excited for a movie but i will never understand this kind of behavior

Go away, it isn't funny. This is a thread for people that actually go outside

>Batman v Superman
>Had to sit in the front row because I forgot my glasses like a dipshit
>A family/friend gathering in front of me
>Most of them are little children
>Movie has an ISIS killing at the beginning of it
>Batman taking out sex slavers
>Lois Lane in a bathtub with a shirtless Superman
>Pretty much made the movie a lot more awkward than it already is

really wish they would just stop doing all the stupid games and contests they make people in the audience play during "halftime"

>dressing up to go to the movies
Autism: the country

>We escape into the woods leaving a trail of piss, blood and confusion.
Fucking kek

t. mad virgins who have never seen a movie with a girl

I always get second-hand embarrassment at the entrance from seeing the few hands in the air asking for help in the manlet pit, they will probably never learn.

Yea this is 11/10

Certain things are so funny I go back to 0 and cant laugh, like a girl slipped into piss.

Oh my fucking god

:^)

...

Fake and gay
Kys

>telling other to go to reddit

...

>terror Tuesday at the kinotorium
>get to theater
>screen has been replaced by a mirror
>mfw

>used to sell weed/Xanax and Rob competition in high school
>Back then pic related was the hang out spot
>Go with a group of 3 cuties and a couple boys one Friday night
>I think inglorious bastards or district 9 was what we were gonna watch
>When we get there we see a couple of our friends also we're at the movies and we combine out groups
>Like 4 minutes later ANOTHER group of kids we know from another school shows up and we combine groups again
>At this point it's like 17 of us chillen waiting for the later movie times
>I'm doing my hustling getting a couple bars off
>And we see yet another group of kids from another high school
>Ohshit
>One kid that was there I had robbed a few days earlier at BBgunpoint
> He sees me and immediately starts causing a scene
>AYE PUSSY NIGGA WHAT NOW NIGGA WHATS GOOD FAGGOT I BET YOU WONT GIVE ME THE ONE ON ONE
>called out in front of everyone, I decide to give him the one on one
>Everyone starts walking toward the back of Lowe's that is in that plaza
>Circle gets formed
>He decides to take off his shirt
>As he's taking off his shirt I pounce on him and knock his ass out
>His friends get pissed and rush in to try to jump me
>My friends and the other folks from the other other high school jump in too
>There's like 10 of us fighting and like 20 girls just watching and recording at this point
>Get thrown to the floor and all of a sudden I hear "SHIT COPS"
>get up as fast as I can but I'm fucked up from the body slam and get arrested immediately
>Had like 20 xanax bars on me
>Arrested for battery, resisting arrest and possession with intent
>Get charged as an adult
>Spend 8 months in Juvie and probation until I was 21.

And that's how I became a felon at 15.

What ethnicity are you?

White

...

Still a nigger

>t. person who has never heard of greentext stories

if you are from 9gag, le faggot

>t. newfag

:^)

Bump

>Ask girl to movie
>Choose Hotel Transylvania because figure no one would be there
>Opposite happens
>Theater swarming with kids and families
>Realize we're the only people older than 12 and younger than 40
>Sit there awkardly for the next 2 hours while she wonders what a retarded man child I am

Still fucked her, tho.

>wonder woman
>the part at the end where Diana is looking at the picture of her dead boyfriend and she's all sad
>black guy says in a high pitched voices "Steve Noooooo!"
>whole theater laughs for like 20 seconds

black people are the best.

Top kek

Niggers amirite? Surely he could see people are trying to sleep through that snorefest of a movie.

>Go see Edge of Tommorow with gf and visiting family
>Already saw the kino with my roommate, but liked it enough to watch it with my family
>excited as fuck, because they never go out to the movies
>get there 20 mins early, perfect seating right in the middle
>half way into the previews, I hear "where do you wanna sit? Let's do the front"
>2 20-somethings push an invalid in a blinking, flashing clusterfuck of a medical chair
>because the movie was on it's way out, it was in a smaller theater with the aisle in the middle
>they park this fucking faggot RIGHT next to me, despite there actually being a spot for wheelchairs in the back
>giant blue light in my face, and the fucking thing is actually loudly breathing for him. Like darth fucking vader
>I start visibly shaking, this tard is about to ruin kino for my family
>try to calm down as the movie plays, used to the vader breathing, but the blue light is still distracting to fuck
>right before the 3rd act starts, wrangler flips a switch on his chair and a LOUD AS FUCK VACUUM SOUND STARTS WHIRRING FOR THE NEXT TEN FUCKING MINUTES
>AND I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE'S A RETARD
>gf is incredibly pissed at me getting pissed
>we have a long argument on the ride home on the morals of retards being selfish, their handlers being irresponsible, who I should've directed my anger at, eventually ending in my going full 14/88 for eugenics

hot

It's what happens when you live for upboats

No hatefuck after, while you whisper in her ear you want to kill all the jews?

>catched

You should've really been killed.

There is literally nothing wrong with eugenics, it's objectively the moral thing to do.

>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for La La Land!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant: "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it

Oh boy that reminds me

>Watching horror movie
>Theater is packed
>Some lady in the movie gets her head bashed in with a fire extinguisher
>People scream then go silent
>Fedora wearing spaghetti man tries to be clever
>"sure put her out like a fire "
>Complete silence for 10 seconds
>Some guy says loudly "You fucking suck bro"
>Theater erupts into laughter
>Fedoraman runs for the exit
>Trying to pull the door open but it's stuck
>Same guy again "It says push bro"
>Gets out and disappears

Pretty sure he killed himself after finishing his hotpockets that night.

good pasta

>get charged as an adult because LOL FUCK IT WHY NOT

America, ladies and gentlemen

Someone's jelly

Nice

>see Logan
>old couple next to me(probably early 60s)
>little girl gets harpooned
>old Lady loudly gasps and spends next ten minutes holding her face visibly shook

Not a bad experience or anything, just thought it was funny and want this thread to continue

>this is a movie morons, not a fucking love in
every time

it was a white guy

i live in a 90% white state

Please tell me you're fucking joking

I went to see La La Land with my gf but there weren't enough seats to sit together so I ended up sat next to these two other girls while she sat by te front on the balcony. It was all fine but I don't think they knew I wasn't there on my own. We both had our hands on the armrest and it was all awkward but fairly manageable until it got to the bit where they hold hands. The girl next to me physically recoiled and sat with her hands on her lap for the whole rest of the movie.

Jokes on her though I thought that scene was predictable and a shallow attempt at inspiring romantic feeling in lieu of proper character development.

the only really memorable theater experience ive had was when i went to see project x with a group of like 10 friends and the theater was completely packed, like actually at 100% capacity of only high school kids. think this was my senior year of high school, it was the closest thing ive ever experienced to those youtube videos of indian people going nuts at the cinema.

honestly it was the only thing that made that dumb ass movie bearable, especially when the main character walks out instead of fucking the hot ass pacific islander bitch and almost every single person in the theater immediately started yelling angrily/booing and some guy screamed "faggot!" like four times at max volume and got kicked out.

sorry for being too lazy to format this into a greentext, whatever

>Jokes on her though I thought that scene was predictable and a shallow attempt at inspiring romantic feeling in lieu of proper character development.
kek

autism wins again

you're right though

>Jokes on her though I thought that scene was predictable and a shallow attempt at inspiring romantic feeling in lieu of proper character development.
AND you got the armrest.

>be 13
>watching polar express in 3d with friends
>3d scene happens where the main boy's face is inches in front of us
>say out loud "he's so close I could kiss him"
>whole theater laughs

n-no homo

> not acknowledging that it's weird to eat green beans in a movie theater
> not saying "yeah, you want some," and making them crack up

>Go to see District 9
>Theater is almost empty, aside from me and my friends the only people there are two old ladies
>Looking at them they must've been over 70, possibly even in their 80's
>Glance at them when the Nigerian mob boss gets shot with the alien gun that makes his head explode
>One of them is giggling

When I go to see some new Marvel flick there's ALWAYS some faggot with a beer in a front row who's at some point of the movie starts saying some idiotic stuff and EVERYONE laughs.

Niggers

They hoot and holler and then people think it must be ok to act like that. So you get a bunch of niggardly behaviour

It's funny because niggardly doesn't mean what you wanted to mean.

wow norway, youre so sophisticated and cool. ill be sure to wear a full tuxedo when i take my little brother to the emoji movie. i have to respect the art of film and all.

i hate how i can hear the unsold popcorn auction going on in the theatre next to me through the walls. you think that they would be a little less loud.

>you were an asshole when you were a teen

and why should we care?

my mom died. this makes me feel ways i dont want to feel ever again.