Power Man and Iron Fist Storytime (Part 16)

Welcome back Anons! Time for Wonder Man's brother!

I'm lying, it's not that Reaper.

Gotta love how seemingly casual Luke is about this hostage situation.

And for good reason, since the criminal seems to be taking orders from the Hostage.

Lesson learned, NEVER try to sneak up on Danny Rand.

Aw, at least that other Reaper has a scythe.

And he's come back from the dead enough that he's probably on a first name basis with the ACTUAL Grim Reaper.

Well, at least the murderer is staying calm.

Oh, how topical.

I don't think so. That's one too many hands for Grim Reaper.

Also, he's missing the ridiculous hat antler things.

Nah. The crook knows better.

>Rev: Luke Cage is a good man son--

>Crook: LUKE CAGE?! Man fuck that, I rather fight Thor!

>I rather fight Thor!
Remember that in a few weeks when we get to Cage's next solo series.

Apparently this writer isn't aware that Danny can kick ass while blind. Oh well, the plot would've ended if Danny won halfway through the issue.

NEWTONS ARE FRUIT AND CAKE!

How many less sympathetic Punishers does Marvel have?

That really depends on how far you stretch the definition. I mean, is Foolkiller one?

Well, it might just be that getting maced is more than just blinding.
Respiratory issues and the like.

The dialogue only says he can't SEE, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt.

>I mean, is Foolkiller one?

I think he may veer more into parody, instead of straight "The Punisher but even more of an antagonist"

I hope Cage's rep gets the right side of ridiculous.

>Cage in this book has fought Dr. Doom, Demons, Unus, Mystic insanity, Sabertooth, Dire Wraiths and has not given a single fuck.

We always say how the X-Men or Spidey get into outrageous shit but man, this series shows that Luke & Danny, while rocking their corner of the Marvel Universe, veered into a few places and it added to it's charm.

So this kid stole a TV just to watch himself on the air talk about the poor.

I feel like there's easier ways to watch that.

And remember, he did ALL of that before he was an Avenger, who are SUPPOSED to deal with that kind of shenanigans. I almost wish he had a Constantine or Batman like rep that he could bluff off, but not only is Luke NOT the bluffing type, I don't think it could work without coming across as characterwanking.

Well, if the superhero thing doesn't work out for him, at least Danny can look into a career as a spy. At the very least he can get out of Bond deathtraps.

Apparently this one is specifically a religious Punisher.

>After my folks died last year

He didn't accidentally hipcheck them in front of a subway train too, did he?

And there goes Luke's shirt again.

No, it was a bus that time. Two for one too.

Wow, he DIDN'T try to murder the fucking kid. That's kinder than some people treat the actual Punisher (fucking Whedon) let along one of these pisstakes.

And NOW the building comes down...

Luke Cage never leaves a man behind.

>"Wait, Look!"

Anyone have any miraculous music to play?

For real, did Whedon get beat up by a kid named Frank or something? Even that time the Punisher went around shooting litterers they at least had him be crazier than usual (and later explained it as him being drugged).

And after saving the day, our heroes walk off into the sunset for pizza, and hopefully tip the order takers.

This is one of my favorite issues, and it's so damn dumb.

Wait a second, is the kid who got a cop killed stealing a tv not getting arrested?

>Those two moron sons of Cage's warden

Oh, I feel the dumb already.

>Danny in a suit version of his Iron Fist costume

Too pure

The cops are right behind him, so presumably he's going with the arsonist.

Cage loved his Pizza huh? All the pizza they have ate, Luke, Danny, & The Daughters should be experts at pizza.

Seeing Jeryn open up like this is actually surprisingly touching, even if the fact that he has a family never comes up again.

The Iron Fistuxedo needs to be made into a real thing. That is amazing.

>"I don't think Luke would appreciate coming in second to Spider-Man and the Angel"

Okay Anons, you have a teenage daughter going to a fancy ball. Who are your top three pairing choices to escort her? In order.

This divorce seems a lot less ugly than the one his Ladytype got on Jessica Jones.

After a alcoholic with poor impulse control and super strength, a mind-dominating rapist, and a murder, there's not a lot it can get uglier.

If Archie Meets the Punisher has taught me anything, it's that Frank makes a good chaperone.

I like to imagine he got them all pizza after every case closed, and he introduced Danny to a new topping.

But it's a pair, so who would go with him?

I'm trying to think of superhero duos, but most of them aren't really prom types. Like, Cloak and Dagger seem like they'd be terrible at parties. Or at least Cloak would.

Let's say Daredevil, because he's sorta on civil terms with Frank.

Are you trying to imply that Luke Cage is better? He's literally growling at the staff!

It doesn't strike me as hard to scare these dipshits straight, given that they were also discount Punishers, with added weapon gimmicks.

>Black Girl
>Cotillion

Now, I'm not part of that culture at all, but ain't it understood to be at least a touch racist?

Was this before or after Janet and Hank split up because lolsmack

Point. Cloak would just be a very spooky wallflower, and Dagger actually might have been to these kinds of things. And...I dunno, Scarlet Witch and Vision before the Byrning?

Apparently Jeryn's wife doesn't like superheroes. Even though they went out of their way to dress for the occasion. Danny's in a suit and not even wearing slippers this time!

>>Now, I'm not part of that culture at all, but ain't it understood to be at least a touch racist?
...It is?

>Who are your top three pairing choices to escort her?

3- Cyclops. He's going to be eager to impress, because it's a chance to show off how good mutants are, and won't do anything untoward, because he's generally pretty repressed.
2- Volstagg - He's like an extra dad! But one that bench a tanker truck. And he'd probably do it for the food.
1- Gambit- Because if ANY Marvel character did cotillions and shit, it's Gambit. Daughter needs a chastity belt in this scenario though.

You'd think it would be, but here they are, sneaking through the back dressed like supervillains again. They're both fucking idiots.

Honestly, having formal clothes versions of their costumes is great, more superheroes should do that.

Well after.
That was like, a decade before this.

Well, racist as default because of classism.

Apparently that black guy in the middle disagrees. Personally, I think he can go fuck himself.

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement.

If you're a superhero rich enough to have a themed jet, you could probably own a costume variation suitable for a funeral.

>Daughter needs a chastity belt in this scenario though.
Wasn't he once literally the king of thieves? Do you think there's a lock in existence he couldn't get through?

>Well, racist as default because of classism.
Well yeah, but it's the 80's and it's not so crazy to have one or two black socialites. Cotillion is just weird because it's a really old-fashioned term.

>Apparently that black guy in the middle disagrees.

I think that might be Jesse Jackson? And that Wolverine with a Duck guy might be Steve Gerber?

Wouldn't the bright colors still be just as tacky? I suppose they could do subdued versions, but if they're all the same color it isn't exactly recognizable. It's still mostly a funeral issue though, it'd be fine at a wedding.

I was thinking Angel was the most likely to have done a cotillion.

And there goes Luke's fancy suit. A shame, it wasn't bad.

Good point. Maybe revise to "Mutant leeching power." Took him YEARS to bed Rogue.

I really don't get what Cage is bellyaching over. That suit looks fine. Better than most of his pimp friends, even.

Sorry Anons, we won't get Wasp flying around in a dress, not will we get naked Wasp.

He was probably at Xavier's before he hit coming out age, though, I'd think.

And there goes the amazing Iron Fistuxedo. If anyone in current Marvel remembered this story, we'd get a reveal that he has another one somewhere for fancy occasions.

>not having your costume on hand
I thought you were an old hand at the superhero business, Wasp!

How many times has the Eel fought Spider-Man and caught him yammering about the Spider-Sense?

One of the benefits of having your villains being mindless morons, they'll do whatever you say.

I mean, literally mindless, as opposed to just being freaking idiots like normal.

Most of the O5 seemed to be in their late teens actually, I remember them getting their high school diplomas early on.

>Sorry Anons, we won't get Wasp flying around in a dress, not will we get naked Wasp.

Boo.

Especially when you can shrink your costume down to fit in any nonfunctionally tiny clutch your fancy dress might have as an accessory.

Wow, Jeryn's kid has a mean right hook.

They found religion, great. If only they could find a second brain cell to rub together and maybe they wouldn't keep ending up like this.

>They found religion, great

It's vague as to which Religion, though. Maybe they're early Thorites.

Now I've heard a lot of ideas about who you'd let escort your hypothetical daughters. But the comic actually has an answer that nobody thought of, and they're a pair too...

Let's give them credit for just being stupid now instead of being stupid assholes.

Remember when these two were awesome bros, as opposed to what Bendis made them into?

Seriously, I think Bendis personally ruined them both.

Damn, I should have thought of those two! And nice tie, Wondy.

I like how Jeryn's ex finds an actor just as objectionable as a gorilla-man.

And now we're officially on Christopher Priest's run!

Beast had been meandering off towards being garbage since Decimation, but I guess that still means it's Bendis's fault.

Has Wonder Man known anything but suffering since Busiek was done with him?

Of course, thiis was back when his name was "Jim Owsley".

Priest? Or Owsley?

I have memories of him being okay in Reed's Ms. Marvel run, but I haven't read that since I got into comics.

Man, the things Luke will do to get out of wearing a suit, am I right?

That's true. Ms. Marvel's Initiative team made good use of him AND his Ionic penis.

So he's got flight, super strength, and intangibility...

I've got it, the Vision is looking to cash in on Luke Cage's rep!

>Suddenly this Captain Hero fellow appeared

Should I wait a few minutes to let you make all the Drawn Together jokes you want, or shall I keep going?

Or Moonstone has gotten very good at crossdressing.

Or this could be the original Moonstone before Karla convinced him to commit suicide.

I've had worse job interviews. Granted they didn't involve as much collateral damage.

Marvel citizens!

I'd like to think this happened after Secret Wars

>Reed: Well.....our universe is back.
>Spidey: Wow....
>Storm: Such an ordel
>Cap: We should learn from this......
>Citizen A: Hey look it's the heroes...........WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!
>Citizen B: SPIDER-MAN WAS BEHIND IT!
>Citizen C: LUKE CAGE, YOU AIN'T SHIT!! AND IRON FIST IS SCUM!
>Citizen D: HEY THING, YANCY STREET HATES YOU.
>Citizen E: FUCKING MUTIES...OR INHUMANS, FUCK EM ALL!!
>Luke:.......................Well they wouldn't be our public, if they didn't hate us. Let's get pizza.

I know Karla can shoot lasers, but can't the original?

Important lesson, Luke can be prevented from murder by a tithe of junk food.

Man, JLA/Avengers was kind of hilarious because of that.
>Avengers assume some kind of mind control is going on in DC, because who the hell ever heard of people liking superheroes?

You don't need to be vague user. Just call "Citizen B" by his name, J. Jonah Jameson.