Favorite American Dad jokes thread

Favorite American Dad jokes thread

>All your organs are wrong and scary to me, might want to have that looked at

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=hj3PyYFwLzo
youtube.com/watch?v=Rlzgmr_9sPA
youtube.com/watch?v=Y4kJubLgTe0
youtube.com/watch?v=DOWsmlS4Tt8
youtube.com/watch?v=-cIdgTHMjOk
youtu.be/8KifJy3BwF0
youtube.com/watch?v=yYtMYspzKBg
youtube.com/watch?v=rhI904iejqQ
youtube.com/watch?v=dqjyzEnbtuA
youtube.com/watch?v=ZWjlUsKiyCY
youtube.com/watch?v=UydXjJ2VLHU
youtube.com/watch?v=fDr6X6fCvxw
youtube.com/watch?v=xQOtGIwlm1c
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>Roger walks off screen talking about the only person who can help
>It's Roger in a costume
>"Are we really going to do this?"
>"Do you have a medium character?"

youtube.com/watch?v=hj3PyYFwLzo

>That episode with Max Jets
>"Wait if Max died and you were Max, how are you alive?"
>I would love, love, to explain it to you but we're out of time

Anything to do with Roger's costumes.

Steve episodes are so hit or miss.

>Greg pushes Stan in the pool at a party because he's embarrassing himself
>waiter offers him a drink to dull his shame
>"Oh, piggy wants two drinks?"
>"Drink it piggy!"
>"Does it taste good pig?"

>Roger is in a car
>Pulls out a flask and drinks
>Pulls out cocaine and snorts it
>Leaves the car
>"I wonder who's car that was"

Already posted it for me.

Roy Rogers McFreely was the best Persona

For example


youtube.com/watch?v=Rlzgmr_9sPA

Ricky Spanish~~~

That's because Steve episodes are always about getting laid.

He's supposed to be, "The smart one" but more often than not he's just a big dumbass. Francine is top tier though.

>Cilantro no es bueno

RICKY SPANISSSSHHH

Anything from In country club

One of the top 5 greatest episodes of all time

...

...

...

The part where Roger builds some sniper rifle out of a pinecone, sticks, and leafs in the woods. It was the episode with Kim Kardashian voicing an alien.

TFW American dad does an episode long joke about your home town.

youtube.com/watch?v=Y4kJubLgTe0

From LGBSteve

Devin: Well, I'm just so happy that you and your sister joined the team. This is the longest relationship I've ever had.
Hayley: Excuse me?
Devin: Stevie and I -- things have been going pretty well. [ Chuckles ] We've already talked about opening a butcher shop in Park Slope.
Hayley: What?!
Devin: Well, there would also be sandwiches, fresh ciabatta...
Hayley: Will you excuse me?

[cut to Hayley and Steve]

Hayley: What were you thinking?!
Steve: Hayley, it's not what you think. There'll also be sandwiches, fresh ciabatta...

>"Perfect Tree!"
>"Perfect Cut!"
>"Perfect amount of blood filling my lungs. Oops, now it's too much."

>THERE'S SO MUCH CRIME IN THE DESERT!

That episode was way better than it should be.

LAVATE LAS MANOS!

>You were a model inmate, Max. You basically just slept for ten years.

MIND QUAD!

WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

youtube.com/watch?v=DOWsmlS4Tt8

The muffin kiosk episode where Stan spends the better part of two minutes trying to find a parking space.

Oh and Francine, the lemonade.

This is the best .... example of terrible lemonade I've ever tasted. Throw it away.

The episode were rogers a dirty cop.
>You boy, put that tub of mayonnaise in my car... I'm gonna make it my girlfriend
Later in the episode
>Chaz can you take me home, my tummy hurts. I should have just had sex with that mayonnaise.

When Stans cooking dinner
>boil water, what am I, a chemist?

youtube.com/watch?v=-cIdgTHMjOk

I tried to green text this, but it just doesn't do the scene justice.
youtu.be/8KifJy3BwF0

that whole episode is gold

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? And as soon as I put this bag down, I float away!"

Then he does.

>"How about you just give me the code and avoid Happy Hour at Shenanigans"

Most musical numbers.

Special shout out to B12 and Is She Not Hot Enough.

youtube.com/watch?v=yYtMYspzKBg
youtube.com/watch?v=rhI904iejqQ

A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES TO THE BLIND WOULD BE AWFUL MAJESTIC

>I guess I should go release the rice cooker from the internment camp.
*Sad music plays and appliances are surrounded by action figures.*

Gets me laughing every single time. That, and Francine putting googly eyes on the Roomba because she got off on looking people in the eyes as they cleaned for her.

>Stan needs help with his sleepwalking
>Roger tells him to go see his psychiatrist persona
>Stan literally walks across the length of the attic and Roger is already waiting for him
>Stan is surprised, looks back at where Roger just was, shrugs, and moves on

Franny, I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest with you.

>mfw I saw the episode of X-Files with the Mind-Quad

Pretty much everything in the Family Land episode is gold.

Is that a...golden turd?

Steve has such a good voice, the girls should be all over him.

SUICIDAL LEMUR'S GOT MY GUN!

Although, theres one joke in that episode I've never understood. The part where Roger is in an outdoor restaurant, leaves, and everyone starts quietly whispering "mustard" while the word keeps repeating on screen. Totally lost there.

>I KILLED THEM! I KILLED THEM ALL, STAN!

MaybeBaby

>"I HAVE THE CAR KEYS IN MY POCKET YOU STUPID BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!"

WE WUZ BUSINESSMEN N SHEEEIT

>That Bad Lieutenant scene with Barry and Snot

Roger's a dirty cop! And he's only been on the force for three hours!

>Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree, nobody knows as much as me.
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaah...
>That's what it would sound like if I had fallen much further.

Uh steve we have some serious issues we need to work out

>So hey, what happened to Jim Henson?
>You don't wanna know.
>You will bow before me, son of God!

[Snot]: Oh I can't wait to tell you all about Jewish Camp.
[Klaus]: Wait you came BACK from Jewish Camp?

Why does Steve love to take off his shirt a lot.

...

Klaus: There's a special place in hell for people who do things like this, right next to the child molesters and the sexy children who seduced them!

>Roger next to some old people
>"You're a lovely couple."
>"Which one of you is the man?"

Toilet humor is the lazy man's comedy.
>Balls.
Heh, maybe we've been working too hard.

I have two but I can't remember the exact wording so if anyone can help me out

1- In the episode where Stan puts his mind in the body of a horse, Roger and Horse-Stan go to see someone who can help and Roger says something along the lines of "lets hope its not me working here" for it to pan over and reveal one of his personas

2- Stan is teaching Steve and friends to be men, and they're driving cattle after Stan's gone insane. Snot speaks up about Steve's dad and Steve gets defensive and calls out Snot's dad for leaving him

>Stan, you are literally holding a gun to God's head.

>"Stan doesn't beat me!"
>"He does in the short story I wrote"
> Shut Your Mouth by Klaus Heissler

From one of the most recent episodes, Klaus wearing an Insane Clown Posse shirt to Steve's funeral.

Brilliant sequence.

Aw, crap.
>pan over and theres Roger
And the worst part is, she's just a secretary.
>I'm an associate!

>Alright. Now let's just hope he's not me
And
>Oh yeah?Well there's something wrong with your dad too! Your Dad left you!

Actually I found it, for those who haven't seen the TBS ones lately:

youtube.com/watch?v=dqjyzEnbtuA

>You use to look good until you went to rehab
>I never went to rehab
>You have now. It's been ESTABLISHED

>Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda
>JORDAN NO

>It's a Costanza episode

I seriously hope you guys don't excessively eat free samples then not buy.

A greentext does not do that scene justice.
youtube.com/watch?v=ZWjlUsKiyCY

It's literally just a Family Guy cutaway but it's actually funny.

Why is Francine so GOAT?

My Sharona sequence is best sequence

I lose it every single time.

GODDAMNIT I WANT MORE MIND QUAD

Holy hell i was just watching this episode last night

Jeffs dad had some good bits, the first one dragged a bit though

>"Oh my God, Nemo! It's "Omen" spelled backwards. He is the Antichrist!"

>"But, you picked the name "Nemo". That doesn't make any sense."

She's underrated. Best animated wife. She doesn't get as many laugh out loud moments, but she's great.

youtube.com/watch?v=UydXjJ2VLHU

>cutting out "NOT IN THE FACE!"

Jeannie Gold was Roger's best persona.

I think this is the perfect amount of Mind Quad. Any more the joke would start to become stale, something akin to Family Guy's repertoire of 5 jokes.

Tell ya boy Jeff he's got two more of these.

Like the small black child I adopted who watches cartoons and is imaginary.

You're real?

>YOU SOUND SMART LIKE HUGH GRANT THE MOVIE STAR! BUT YOU'RE STUPID LIKE HUGH GRANT THE PERSON

STELIOS
STELIOS KONTOS
youtube.com/watch?v=fDr6X6fCvxw

WAIT! THAT TV WAS REAL, I BOUGHT THAT

>He was as mean as he was Greek.

Every time.

GIGGITY

>You may be beautiful on the outside like Kevin Bacon, but you're ugly on the inside like Tommy Lee Jones.
>On the outside
>And the inside.

>It Ain't Me literally starts playing

youtube.com/watch?v=xQOtGIwlm1c

The Warriors episode were he and his friends try to escape school while all the school cliques are trying to hunt for them is based. I noticed that if the episode involves his friends it's definetly a hit.

What episode has the most consistent laugh out loud moments?

I want to say either Hot Water, A Bully For Steve or the Vietnam one.

That joke should have ended with the SINK falling through the ceiling, not the bathtub.

THE SINK.

>He's picking up so much speed!

> Roger does an elbow drop onto a guy's head
> It explodes for no fucking reason
> They show it like five times, including in slow motion

I love the whole bit when Stan and Roger get high.

The bathtub segues into Roger's joke about how to get rid of a body.

YOU DON'T WASH YOUR HANDS IN A BATHTUB, user!

YOU WASH YOUR HANDS IN A SINK!

The build up to "Tell me how you killed our baby" is great. I know it's coming but it gets me every time