My buddy fell in a vat of acid, man he had a really bad trip

My buddy fell in a vat of acid, man he had a really bad trip.

...alright

this comedy threads off to a great start

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

my mom tried to sell me on an IUD, man she had a really bad pitch

so the other day I was shooting heroin on my tour bus and we hit a big bump and I accidentally pushed down on the plunger and overdosed and died? you know what I mean right folks? right?

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

they say it's a fight to the finish, that's a good place to end

file under "d"

for "donut"

Mitch was never fucking good. Only you fucking autists like him

Only good one here

So I was talking to some rude guy online, and when I gave him some really meta commentary he could only come up with some shitty response.

He was pretty good at what he wanted to do with his one liners. A shame he had such a hard time doing what he did and resorted to numbing himself to death

last time I called shotgun was in a limo, so I fucked up

I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to too.

I know a lot about cars, man, one look at the headlights and i can tell you which way it's comin'

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. It was a good job but you couldn't park anywhere NEAR the place.

DUDE WEED LMAO

mitch was based because he only did jokes. he didn't whine about his weight, kids, politics or whatever.

Much better comedian

Man, Steven Wilson really let himself go.

escalator temporarily stairs

sorry for the convenience

classic. Fucking classic, man.

Reddit: the comedian

Chicken is melting, ham is frozen in air... we really shouldnt come to Salvador Deli

But Reddit isn't funny

>a banana is just like a traffic light but opposite
>green means hold on
>yellow means go ahead
>and red means where the fuck did you get that banana?