when batman fucks women, does he wear a condom? he seems like he would always have a bat-rubber on him since he prepares for everything. plus he wouldnt want his DNA all over the place
When batman fucks women, does he wear a condom...
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Batman canonically never wear any condom. He doesn't believe in them. This was shown in Batman #689.
I mean, how do you think Damian Wayne came about?
No
Date rape
he was raped by Talia
>implying batman never fucking raw bats it
Yeah, but he also wasn't wearing any condom.
Fuck off morrison
he was not in full control of his facilities, you can't judge what happened there as a rule
In Batman #689: "A Thousand Little Deaths" it was shown that
Batman has a special herb that he carries around with him that will make his dick go limp, preventing forced coupling.
Batman knows the entire medical history and menstrual cycle of the women he do sleep with.
Batman doesn't believe in condoms because they aren't 100% safe.
It's all canon. The information appeared again in the Secret Files & Origins Special the following year also.
It's not a problemhe checked
>he would always have a bat-rubber on him since he prepares for everythin
The real question is whether his condoms are bat-themed. Like do they have little logos on them?
Someone please storytime this, at least the page with that information.
Truly the master of preptime
pretty sure he wears a condom. Any sperm getting out would put him in bad situations. Imagine poison Ivy with his kid.
>batman
>fucking women
you what m8???
>Batman doesn't believe in condoms because they aren't 100% safe.
isnt 90% safe better than not wearing one at all though? that doesnt make any fucking sense
They're ribbed for JUSTICE.
Poison Ivy pussy juices kill the sperm. Also canon.
>Batman has a special herb that he carries around with him that will make his dick go limp, preventing forced coupling
to what lengths will he go to deny me
Fucking make me, you little cunt.
he actually needs it for when he goes face to face with the joker
...
He used this back in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight when a nazi milf scientist tried to rape his sorry ass in an attempt to sire the perfect specimen and then Batman went limp so she got mad and tortured his ass. Thankfully, she was stopped by her cyborg deranged son who got jealous of his mom when he realized that she made him kidnap Batman just for sex, when she could just fuck him.
Wonderful tale from the late 80's.
>Doesn't believe in condoms because they aren't 100% safe
Better be 0% safe then!
You cannot even begin to understand.
Batman preptime his shit by learning everything about the women and only boning them the odd days when there is 0% chance of them later claiming child support.
Condoms are a clutch.
didn't she have a miscarriage?
what about STDs though
Preptime is a bitch.
>I'll have to congratulate my dick
He knows their entire medical history. It's okay, he cheked.
He should just abstain, they could extract the sperm from their vag afterwards and use it for cloning or any other weird shit because it's the DCU. He is being reckless.
He knows EVERYTHING about them.
She got her ass kicked by muggers and babby died.
Oddly enough, Batman's sex life is very detailed in the comics.
For example Batman's penis is just humongous. He's the biggest dick in the JL. Morrison said so in an interview and everything.
Batman cut off his penis as the ultimate form of prevention.
No, that's the Joker. His dick fell off after the toxic bath. The Joker doesn't have a dick.
>harley quinn sucking off batman
>he finishes in her mouth
>with a mouthful of cum, she looks up at bats
>...swallow it.
>hm?
>you heard me, swallow my bat sap.
>i dont want the joker or anyone else to use my sperm to clone me, so you have to get rid of it.
>she swallows, smiling back up at him with her mouth wide open
>ahhhhh, all gone
>great, but you missed a little
>batman takes his thumb and wipes a little jizz dribble from her nipple
> he licks it off of his own thumb
Condoms don't prevent your DNA from being left in detectable form, they only provide a barrier to your sperm from entering the uterine tract and fertilizing any ova present there.
Frankly, if you're not leaving your DNA under her fingernails, you probably shouldn't be trying to share your DNA anyway.
He obviously didn't know Talia was a rapist
There's a whole division at Cadmus where they job is pretty much following Batman's cases and battles trying to gather any of his body fluids.
>plus he wouldnt want his DNA all over the place
lol
>The Joker doesn't have a dick.
Pretty much all his villains are rapists, though.
He invented a synthetic skin that he coats his manhood in. Sterilizes sperm as they leave his urethra. Like the rubber lips in Batman Forever.
>Batman knows the entire medical history and menstrual cycle of the women he do sleep with.
...
That's only movie canon.
this tbqh
Jesus Bruce. You're fucking adopted family is fucked.
There was a comics where Catwoman said that when Batman is about to climax he raises both his arms and then start to flap them while screeching a terrible noise.
She might have been joking, though.
Why do people keep bothering to bring this up? It's fanfiction-tier garbage, and should be reviled and ignored as such.
I think the craziest thing about this is that Batman can't into basic math
It's amusing.
How did this joke start.
>I think the craziest thing about this is that Batman can't into basic math
He just thought that Barbara was, rightly, a hoe.
Everybody knows it's shit, user.
It's just hilarious.
I read "dark knight" and "nazi milf" and immediately thought of the woman in DKR with swastikas on her nipples.
It might have been #589. It's from the 90's.
The fact that a salty Dick/Barbara shipper's fanfiction got published is really funny.
THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY WHAT I MEANT.
Neither one of these is titled "a thousand little deaths"
Some brilliant user got fed up with the constant edgy retards who just watched Under the Red Hood for the first time making "Why doesn't Batman just kill the Joker???" threads and decided to turn the thing into a dank meme.
Yeah until I see the page I'm gonna call bullshit
>they kept their costumes on while having sex
I wanted to see naked bodies, damnit.
this
>Yeah until I see the page I'm gonna call bullshit
The fact that capeshit fans actually find that plausible is worrysome
...
this
Talia at first just wanted to have her way with him, Damian was the result of Bruce in his drugged state repeatedly forcing her to not put one on.
Are they aware they just had furry sex by staying in costume?
Are Batman and Catwoman even aware they're furries by taking the persona of animals?
>Wearing cat ears in the midst of taking a cock is the same as letting several strangers jizz all over the carpeted quad titties of your 1000USD murrsuit while inwardly praying to an obscure Native American spirit
He wears a bat condom.
Does that mean that everyone who take the persona of a animal is a furry ? Like Black Cat ? Black Canary ? Black Panther ? Spider-man ? Ant-Man ? Cat-Man ? The Penguin ?
Any batman comic where he is lying in bed all bandaged up because of a big fight and a lady criminal comes in and rapes him because he's too broken to move ?
What does he expect dressed as he was and getting shitfaced with assassins.
IF THERE IS EVEN A ONE PERCENT CHANCE THIS CONDOM WILL FAIL WE HAVE TO TAKE IT AS AN ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY...and we have to hit it raw.
He does dress up like an animal every night, stays under his parents house, meets up with another person in a animal based outfit every other night, and uses good boy points to have alfred wip up some Bat-Tendies
....Well when you say it out loud like that.....wow....I think I need to reevaluate my hobbies
after years of training he has abosolute control over his sperm
>1000USD
Hahahahaha
Oh if only
>implying Waller even had to "inject Mr. McGinnis with bruce's DNA"
>implying Bruce didn't nail that busty red head himself via direct injection
Taking inspiration from animals and putting it into a suit isnt the same thing as a fur suit
That's impossible. HIV can take up to six months to fucking show up. The people who have HIV don't always get an appointment or bother to inform their doctors because they realize the, rightful stigma of their action. The point is even non-junky bitches get Aids and Bruce couldn't research that even if he researched everyone. If he did he'd never sleep with anyone but an actual virgin because of widespread STDs are now and how many people lie about it.
> Taking inspiration from animals and putting it into a suit isnt the same thing as a fur suit
...
do you even listen to yourself
it's exactly the same
Is this a fucking fursuit? No, it's not
THIS, is a fursuit. Completely different
How did this joke start?
people kept spamming why doesn't Batman kill the joker to make themselves seem oh so smart and then it evolved to why doesn't Batman rape the joker
>Does that mean that everyone who take the persona of a animal is a furry ? Like Black Cat ? Black Canary ? Black Panther ? Spider-man ? Ant-Man ? Cat-Man ? The Penguin ?
Black Cat would try anything once.
Black Canary would laugh at the idea, then gossip over the story with the rest of the cape community.
Black Panther would shut the idea down after two sentences, but still growl in bed.
Spider-Man would vehemently refuse because he'd be terrified of the thought of JJJ getting a picture of it.
Ant-Man would make sex-bots he created dress up as furries, but all the costumes would look like his ex-wife's uniforms.
Cat-Man would never wear a costume, but he'd be enough of an animal in bed to satisfy any furry.
The Penguin just fucks his birds. You know he does.
Has there ever been a Robin costume that looked like an actual robin?
At your conception.
If I wanted to see sex in my comic books I would read porn
But that guy is saying the Batman is a fag
>Batman doesn't believe in condoms because they aren't 100% safe.
The kind of thing that could only be written by a man who thinks it's the woman's job not to get pregnant.
we almost had this
This is why Selina is best girl, she knows how important Alfred is to Bruce and how dedicated he is so she makes sure to give him a look for the ol, spank bank at the very least.