I think you misunderstood the concept of "Bendering Time"

>I think you misunderstood the concept of "Bendering Time".

Best Futurama Quotes thread.

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Curse you, merciful Poseidon!

We are not amused

>We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties... and crap like I've never seen.

>What seems to be the problem?
>Well, my lead pipe hurts a little.
>That's normal, next patient!

>Fry, acting like a moron won't solve anything!
>Then all hope is lost!

>Like putting air in a balloon, and then.. something bad happens!

Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.

>And then all the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate!

>Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
>SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!!

>Damn it, you win again Gravity

>Doh is she behind me?
>No, i'm in front of you

>It's like that time Muhammad Ali fought that giant robot. Now, my memory's a bit hazy, but I believe the the whole Earth was destroyed.
>Interesting, if true.

...

>GOD, BUDDA, ALLAH, SOMEONE. SATAN YOU OWE ME

>Stop exploding, you cowards!

>People said I was dumb but I proved them

If I though i had to live a whole other life Id kill myself right now!

this is my all time favorite

>If anyone needs me I'll be in the angry dome!

>Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage!

>And Fry, you've got that brain thing.
>I already did!

>I say, your three cent titanium tax goes too far!
>And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!

>We've all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.

>"I am the man with no name... Zapp Brannigan, at your service!"

>"This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973, when Ali faced an 80-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory's not what it used to be, but I believe the entire Earth was destroyed."
>"interesting, if true."

Godfellas had so many.

>Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

>Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.

>Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

>"Yes, but they won't listen! Everybody's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a Great White Shark - O~ooh, suddenly you've gone too far."

>"Alright... It's Saturday night, I have no date, a 2-Liter bottle of Shasta and my All-Rush mixtape. Let's rock."

Anyone else ever use the second quote when about to begin some weekend gaming?

Also he's a robot!

SCOOTY PUFF JR SUUUUUUUUCKS!

>What killed the dinosaurs
>ME!

Aww... Chester A. Arthur fall down.

So the orgy is Cancelled?

>THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN
>I AM THE GREETIST
>NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISIN

> Good job Fry! Now all the other planets are going to be cracking wise about our mamas!

> I'm just glad my fat ugly mother didn't live to see this day.

> Enough about your promiscuous mother Hermes!

That would imply we had someone to say it to.

>Wiggles, weren't you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?
>Fine, I've got a toast. To Captain Bender, he's the best... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!
>Eh, I've heard better.

You're talking to yourself right now. Everyone here is a bot.

how about these cookies sugar

>tfw Godfellas was more influential in developing your theology than you care to admit

Damn good episode.

"Nine, ten, a big fat hen, the name's Bender"

>PROFESSOR! LAVA! HOT!!!

>Fire indeed hot!

>When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission.

>What makes a man turn neutral?

>One day a man has everything. The next day he blows up a 400 billion dollar space station. And the next day he has nothing. Really makes you think.

Zap is the best character on the show.

>Isn't that the same machine that makes noses?
>It can do other things! Why shouldn't it?!

>Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence won't solve anything

>Look, it's not the food that's important...
>I'm so hungry.

>He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness!

>What's that?
>It appears to be the alien mothership
>Then what did we just blow up?
>...The Hubble Space Telescope

>I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!

>My god! That's over 300 atmospheres of pressure!
>How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?
>Well it's a spaceship, so anywhere between zero and one.

>He may have ocean madness, but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness!

I never figured out if that comment was directed at Fry for storming out or at Leela for mocking and teasing him.

I swear I default to saying "for no raisin" a bit too much

>I'M BACK BABY

Another similar riff on that joke.

>Leela 1: Hermes, aren't you curious about the fact that there's two of everybody?

>Hermes 1: No. Now like my granny used to say back in her tarpaper shack on Montego Bay, "If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself."

>Farnsworth 1: Your granny can go to hell!

That has stuck with me for years

With my mighty robot powers, I can get sick of things much quicker than you humans.

>WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

>Get a room you two!
>We're in a room!
>Well then lose some weight!

>Too late do I realize that me children are me only real treasures.

>I need plenty of wholesome nutritious alcohol. The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
>What are the cigars for?
>They make me look cool.

>Why!?—Why!?—Why didn't I break his legs!?

When I was a kid, I used the "Do things right, people wont be sure" line on my Rabbi when I was a kid, and I think he liked it. I had completely forgotten the lines around it

>I'm sorry Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
>Oh. What's it called now?
>Urectum.

>I was going to eat that mummy.

I'd rather stay home and make out with my Monroebot.

Help! Satan! YOU OWE ME!

Hmm. Yes, this is the one. Definitely. I recognize her slumping posture and hairy knuckles.

I really liked Lethal Inspection for similar reasons as it was a "road" episode that was simultaneously about having beef with a parental figure as well as looking for a higher phantom power that has seemingly wronged you after it appeared to be in your corner for your entire life.

Bender finds out that he's deeply flawed about something he believed himself perfect in (his mortality) and he attempts to revengify himself on the entity that let it happen when he's just secretly despondent that there's no way to fix what's broken about him.

Fuck, i love this show so much.

The jokes are kind of hit and miss, but when they hit, they really do. Not to mention the feelsy moments which are just as good as the comedy. I'm glad the show had a timely end, instead of being a living zombie like The Simpsons.

In a different imageboard, years ago, we had the tradition of posting that picture as the OP. Everyone then posted their plans for saturday night.
Simpler times.

>Look, no one likes shooting penguins. But if you have to, might as well enjoy it!

>Oh crap, she's standing right behind me, isn't she?
>No, I'm standing right in FRONT of you.

>Help! It's like movie about that drug trip I saw when I was on that drug trip!

>What tastes like blue?

>That just raises further questions!

youtube.com/watch?v=EXXiWgw9K9k

>"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all"

One of the only reasons I still believe in God, desu senpai.

*desu senpai

What the fuck, autocorrect?

>Why don't you tell it to Wingus and Dingus here?
>Wingus, Dingus, listen up.

>This Poppler called me mama.
>Maybe it learned to talk as a parlor trick, like Fry.
>Like Fry, Like Fry!

They crank called us to deliver a pizza to Dogdoo 8, but the universe ends right after Dogdoo 7.

>A good way to prevent frostbite, just put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket.

I think its directed at Fry.

The phrase, "all Rush mixtape" gets me every time.

I don't remember the exact quote, but the way the professor describes the beeps, and Fry's escalating disappointment, fucking slays me.

>WITH MY LAST BREATH I CURSE ZOIDBERG!

>"I'm literally angry with rage!"

>Like I give a shit. My life is insured.

>zoidberg's autopsy
>Hey! Don't touch that, I need that for speaking!
>*sawing intensifies*

>"I heard alcohol makes you stupid"
>"No I'm doesn't"

great episode
"Ow! Fire hot!"
"The professy will help. AHH! ...fire indeed hot"

Leela A: This is getting confusing. Why don't we call our universe "Universe A" and this universe "Universe B"?

Bender 1: Hey! Why can't we be Universe A?

Fry A: We called it first. Besides, this place kinda feels like a "B", y'know?

Leela 1: Alright, you can be crummy Universe A and we'll be Universe 1.

Fry 1: Or "The Mongooses". That's a cool team name. The Fighting Mongooses!

I think my favorite part of that line is how even the voice actor seems to be struggling with the lines

Not a line, but in 300 Big Boys after Fry goes Speedforce and nods at the hummingbird. That sequence will be burnt into my brain until I die.

>REMEMBER ME!

>TV audiences don't want anything original, they wanna see the same stuff they've seen a hundred times before
>Whatchu talkin' bout Fry?

>But existing is basically all I do!

>Give me back my hands!
>No!
>YOU'RE NOT NICE!

>NIXON'S BAAAAAACK!

>harooo.

>"You can't just have your characters say how they feel! THAT MAKES ME ANGRY!"

>When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Regardless of one's faith or lack thereof, this is a commandment to fucking live by.

f a m autocorrects to senpai now.

"yes, i saw that. you were doing well until everyone died"

"im gonna go join the reform party!"
what did they mean by this?

>Oh a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm my own Grandpa!

>"im gonna go join the reform party!"
In America it's considered stupid to join or vote for a third party, because you'll take your vote away from one of the two big ones. Think Ross Perot.

>He wasn't an astronaut, he was a TV comedian! And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife!

>Oh to be young again, and also a robot!

>Stop! No shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
>Spare me your space-age technobabble Attila the Hun!

Don't be silly user captcha protects us

>a drop of la barbara's spicy curried goat falls through several layers of the planet until it gets to robot hell
>robot devil enjoying a hot beverage: "ahh..... fire"
>curry drop falls on his head
>"AHHH FIRE!!"

Been over for a few years now
>Still no copy of Zapp Branigan's Big Book of War

>Kif, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men.

>"I am the proud shepherd of this flock of sharks"
>"Don't you worry about Planet Express, let me worry about blank"