Things you won't hear Muslim people say

Things you won't hear Muslim people say

>I love my country

Pretty good pork!

Bath time

>Lets drink alcohol and do drugs and eat pork aka bacon

Hand over the delegates, dahhhnald!

On second thought, I won't fuck this goat

Allah Akbar
(It's Allahu Akbar.)

-My son's weeding to his boyfriend is today ! Really Happy for them !
-My daughter is old enough to go to parties now with her boyfriend Tyrone ! Happy for her !
-My Wife cheated on me so I'm divorcing and she still gets half of my money ? Not happy !

>You're right, my religion really does foster violence and cultural domination. You have opened my eyes, borther, I will now retire to my chambers for introspective thinking and re-evaluate the fate which my social upbringing and environment forced me to accept as normal and unquestionable.

Allahu Snackbar
(It's Allahu Akbar)

I let my wife drive her son to work today.

>My Wife cheated on me so I'm divorcing
>divorcing

More like stoning

Shalom

How bout dat taqiyya amirite?

>She's too young for me.

She's to young for me

Islam has a very liberal divorce laws. Muslims can easily get divorced.

I condemn the actions of ISIS.

All Muslim institutions have already done that. But the Jew media won't cover it.

Sorry.

I came illegally in this country so I can work.

t. Mohammed

Camel piss is gross.

> I'm Islamic but I really think the Christians have a point!
> "You know Akmad I am really tired of praying 5 times a day...can't we just do it on sundays?"

That suicide bombing sure was worth it, heaven is nice

You're right, islam has a serious problem and needs a major reform.

I don't think we should name our child Muhammad.

>"hello police?..yes I would like to report my Imam for inspiring Islamic extremism!"

>We let them build a christian church in our neighborhood, we don't want to appear intolerant.

>I respect your different culture and beliefs

>Mohammad was illiterate at bible and thought that Jesus Christ was prophet Moses's nephew

>thank you infidels for inventing toilet paper, otherwise we'd still be wiping our arses with stones

>i know that islam makes people dumb, and every medieval scientific invention we stole from persians and assyrians

>earth is flat in quran, and there is a lot of stupid things like sun drowning in a pile of hot mud but infidels shouldn't know that, or our religion become "non-sellable" and we ought to increase the number of followers

and so on

ps. all of the above actually true

It's the job of brave moderates to report their family members and friends for suspicious activity while also being moderate religious leaders in their mosques, preaching the loving message of allah.

I'm fine with other people believing whatever they want. It's none of my business.

> i wont drink it, it`s forbidden

>Random isolated case attack number 5426865 on european soil
>Hello local muslim community, what do you think about recent isolated case attack number 5426865 ?
>Salam ! This attack is very g...bad ! Yes it is very sad what our broth...this terrorist did to those filthy aposta...I mean poor innocent peoples. Remember Islam means peace !
>Local media : see peoples, muslims condemns the terrorism !

>yes ma'am
>no ma'am
>yes sir
>no sir
Rude as shit.

>What if we are following the wrong religion?
>Are women people too?
>What if this stoned bitch actually was innocent?
>Is this Imam a paid shill?
>What if Islam never made it?
>Why am I speaking Arabic if I'm a T*rk?
>If i spend all my days whoring, drinking and doing drugs but not eat pork, will I still go to heaven?
>What if Islam is really Arabic Paganism + Zoroastrianism and Judaism in denial?
>Why am I even living in Sweden anyway?
>Why don't I just go back to my beloved sharia state?
>If I fuck this goat in it's mouth instead of it's ass, will it be Haram?

There is nothing Muslims don't say, the pillar of taqiyya means they can say literally anything a kaffir wants to hear, inshallah.

Ignore their words, and watch their actions.

>Mahmoud don't fuck that 9 year old boy in the ass its not right

That's what most of us do here.

I dunno, she's a bot too young.

Absolutely haram, but checked

I don't think sharia should be the law of the land

We should treat women equally

Let's not fuck children

I am tolerant of other cultures

I am thankful they let me into their country

absolutely delicious

Forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.