You've been given $5000 and a time machine

>you've been given $5000 and a time machine
>time machine is set to take you one week before 9/11

What do you do?

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bet against all the right stocks

Invest in best stocks?

Buy a bike and ride around New york

Rent a room on the top floor of the north tower for the morning of September 11th

Buy a very nice camera setup, then get into a good location and film shit hitting the fan.

Make millions in licensing because I'll be the only person with static, studio-quality footage of the events.

Coke and hookers

Buy a large TV, a couple cases of lotion, several boxes of tissues, and a lot of popcorn.

short the market, then buy apple stock

Get a job, make and save as much as possible, and buy every Bitcoin I can when it first comes out.

Save the cheerleader, save the world.

turn 360 and walk away

invent Sup Forums before moot so we can all have a happening thread when it happens

and then you get tortured and fucked by CIA, FBI, DEA, and police officers over the next several months based on suspicion for having such a high quality footage of the happening.

invest in Microsoft and Google probably

Invest in Enron

But how do you walk away if you end up facing the same direction?

like how all of the other people with videos were investigated?

easy

find Taylor Swift, and since she's super young, convince her to do a 3 hour fuck fest on take for the 5 grand.

Fast forward to today, less sex tape for 10 million and become world famous for giving Taylor a dirty Sanchez on tape!

>turn 360
>walk away
>american education

...

The time machine takes you back after 9/11. You could just say you were shooting a film on the roof of a building.

im sure they got contacted by agencies but not suspicion they just want copy of it probably

wait until i meet her and this time, not fuck it up.

make a bomb threat for WTC at 5-6 am on september 11.
WIth some luck, at the time of the airplanes’ crash, both buildings would be empty. That’s the most realistic thing one could do.

pussy

tbqh I would try to organize a coordinated bomb threat on the towers that morning to try and cuck the NWO out of their terrorist attacks, at least on that specific date of 9/11/01 and just wait around for the inevitable other event that would be concocted as the terrorist attack on America that got us heavily involved in middle east.

Spend the 5k on tens of thousands of photo copies and pass out flyers telling everyone that Jews are about to blow up the world trade center.

There would be outrage that some crazy racist is littering and then the trade center would blow, instantly redpilling everyone.

>buy winning lottery tickets
>invest winnings in google, apple and facebook
>sit back and ride the gravy train

KILL OBAMA

SAVE THE WORLD

>you buy all the bitcoins
>value never rises

Fuck my 11-year old self in the ass.

>Teleport self to Steve Jobses house and tell him I have a patent for a brand new kind of phone, a phone from the future. I will give him the patent for 5k now and 5% from all the sales that it ever makes.

Advise I'm to make the phone 6 years from now when technology is advanced.

Fast forward to (((((Current year))))) back to my mansion and spend 10k on hookers and cocaine.

nothing

if 9/11 never happened I may never have been born...

>$5000
Live for a day in New York City and then become homeless because $5000 in New York City is fucking nothing.

I'd bet on NFL games

I'd walk back into the time machine you stupid faggot
walk away back into the time machine back to 2016 you fucking retard

>"I was filming stock footage of birds to sell to National Geographic, and then this 737 came out of fuckin' nowhere! Craziest thing I ever saw!"

:^)

>become god king emperor
Make a youtube video detailing exactly what will happen. Make the video private so (((nobody))) pays attention to it until after the event when I can point to it and say I'm a psychic sent by God and Jesus to guide mankind.
Keep "predicting" the future, in ambiguous but curiously exacting terms.
Carefully guide the people towards worshiping me.
Personal cult keeps growing.
Keep "predicting" shit. Keep convincing more and more people of the truth of my claim to the throne of the Empire of Man.
.....
I am become god.
....
profit???

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
underage gtfo

what would be the best way to have the towers evacuated on that day and keep them empty?

you couldnt just warn the authorities since uhhh they literally already knew and let it happen lmao

Google lotto numbers on a day when no one wins, win it.
Bet the rest on horses with ridiculous odds won.
Get rich let 911 happen , live the life

Videotape the dancing Israelis

that would be crazy as fuck

>get CIA'd

The best answer so far, really.

Do this too

Spend it on blow and then die in the towers

This
If I go around telling people that some crazy terrorist attack is gonna happen I will just be ignored for some crazy
fuck those cunts just invest and make millions

Yep.

A guy on YouTube got a whole load of them through a FOIA request and has been upscaling/cleaning/denoising and uploading the finished products.

youtube.com/watch?v=btL9Xthe8pg

puts against those airlines and any bet involving whitewater evidence in building 7 being destroyed, I mean those buildings were full of computers running shady stock transaction software, whole floors of those buildings doing that

Clearly we have superior knowledge of memes. How do you not know this oldie Norway?

GO TO HARVARD
KILL ZUCKERBERG

Why would the DEA give a shit? He's filming a building, not selling heroin

Pay for a plane ride near Manhattan in some shitty Cessna 150 or similar.
Pay attention to controls well enough to steer.
Shoot pilot and take over.
An hero by flying into a twin tower.
You will do marginal damage and now everyone will be on high fuckin alert for that sort of shit.
Oh and before you take off mail several packages all over the place to media and gov't explaining your manifesto, post online etc. make everyone aware that way if 9/11 or similar actually happens we don't go down the same dystopian road

Prolly a similar dystopian road but whatev you dead now

Go film every second of it from several different angles and make fucking millions

dump it into yahoo
flip it to google and apple down the road

Spend it on a parachute and become famous for the guy who jumped from the tower to save a little girl by parachute and make even more money by telling a pretend tale.

>warn wtc about a bomb threat
>invest in google
>carefully watch my past self to change some events in my life
>once google starts really taking off.
>make sure the money invested is into my name only
>leave it to past self
>make a false story saying dad was crazy enough to invest into this weird search engine and tell self that even though I wasn't in your life as much I want you to know I'm always here
>killself and let past me live a better life

I'll save America and myself at the same time.

GIVE THE TIME MACHINE TECHNOLOGY TO WHITE NATIONALISTS IN THE YEAR 2001

>predict 9/11
>predict other things (some of which are actually true, but others mostly lies)
>use my newfound authority to shape world politics

youtube launched in 2005...

buy SPY puts

Kek

>implying this wouldn't be spun as a false-flag by antisemite nazis

What would you do after the clock hits 2016?

U MAD MAN!!!

...

Spend it all on BTC then sellout once they reach their peak. Literally the best answer.

>Google lotto numbers on a day when no one wins, win it.

This, and then invest the winnings over the next decade betting on sporting events and political elections.

I suppose you could prevent it from happening by claiming to be a mad bomber who had rigged the towers to blow but you would need basically enough explosive to detonate your car in front of the place and the ability to pull all that off without getting caught and you'd have to arrange in it in a way where a few live news feeds would get out of you screaming that you had rigged the towers to blow and even then they're no chance that the towers definitely wouldn't blow the next day anyway or that you wouldn't just end up getting yourself killed and the buildings blowing up the next day anyway and you wouldn't make any money you'd just save a few people's lives, I suppose if you could make some bet someplace that they would find explosives inside the towers but again, no chance that would actually happen

Invest it in amazon and apple for some good cash in 2007 and then invest in nintendo right before the wii launches and quadrupled their stocks value, then sell it all at peak, then invest it all back in 2016 right before pokemon go comes out, then sell it all off when its worth double its value.

Comfy living.

>KILL ZUCKERBERG

and 5 others would rise to take his place facebook would still exist etc.

I go back to 2001 and cry because my $5,000 in 2016 money is only worth about $3,000

nah the tower ownerknew it was going down if you made a bomb threat hed ignore it

I'd do that, but I'd also have a parachute so I could have a daring escape. When I got to the ground I'd tell everyone I saw guys with yarmulkes planting explosives, which is how I knew to bring the parachute to my office that day.

>this new
Welcome to Sup Forums newfriends, enjoy your stay

you're here forever

Then you promptly go to prison for child rape and porn since she would have only been 11 in 2001.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=vwKQXsXJDX4

Nigga looks like you already did it

Stocks and lotteries.
Then top quality inn with view of the trade centers with 12 pack of beer and a cheap hooker.

hmm

guess it would have to be me who created faceberg then

OR

I could give the time travel technology to myself in 2001.

>Rent a room on the top floor of the north tower for the morning of September 11th

best idea here,

get up to top of tower and be the guy who was wind suit base jumping off the tower as it was exploding, photographer team taking shots of you, instantly have the rep equal to the most badass super villain of all time

>mfw people don't understand quantum physics
there is a chance that in this new reality that both goog and msft fail

Wouldn't that create a paradox?

This. Plenty of people do amateur video.

>implying that isn't the point
>implying the rape backstory won't make taytay a significantly better artist

aaawwww :)

>guess it would have to be me who created faceberg then

nah they have clones of him in a tank somewhere, everything would be the same but he would be even bigger spazz

Do absolutely nothing. Give all those money to starving kids in Africa. The right thing to do.

Stop 9/11

Do some quick high risk (but guaranteed success due to future insight) investing to turn that 5000 into a few hundred thousand.

Buy Google if I can, if not just wait for the IPO.

Hire people to invent Youtube.

Hire people to invent Facebook.

Patent basic smartphone ideas.

Invest in Apple, for the short term.

Start a big capital fund and buy up startups I know are going to be successful.

I'd go back and fix my mistakes

>find Taylor Swift,

yeah no chance you could get into a Dan supervised Disney grow chamber

Have a giant target sign printed out and hang it from the roof.

this is some x files tier shit

$5000 worth of parachutes

Buy stock in construction equipment companies and apple

I have to admit, hearing that second plane hit the building was kinda chilling.

Put the 4k in a savings account in my name, tip off the FBI with a list of all hijackers, go to NYC, call in bomb threats on 9/11, pull fire alarms in the tower, maybe set off some small bombs in the base level to get the towers emptied. Pretty much just do my best to save as many people who were there. The 4k is for my own Jewish needs.

if you don't do this or something close you are probably retarded

>invest in google
how the IPO was in 2004 you underage cuck. You'd literally have to go track Larry and Sergey down and become their best friend.

And in 2001 they were already making some hefty bucks, 5k would be small change

(protip: invest it in companies that make skeery guns)

There was no specification of the time trick to achieve this. It's safe to assume it would be the closed loop non-contradictory type. You could use basically any other one that doesn't have your problem.